Chapter 10
Disgusting Dursleys

“I don’t want to!”

You gave Harry a hard glare as you both came out of the Alley you’d just Apparated into, still holding his hand. “You’ve got to.”

“But that doesn’t mean I want to!” he said hotly. “I specifically said that this wasn’t going to happen!”

“And so did I when I first thought I liked you,” you said, exasperated. “Look, it’s not like they’ll actually go. I know they hate you and vice versa, but we’ve got to at least pretend to be civil towards them.”

“You made me leave my wand at the house!” he hissed in your ear.

Which for some reason sent a shudder through you. You sighed. “Yes, because I know they crack your eggs. Look, just.. Do this for me? Please? An early birthday present?”

You smiled hopefully at him as you both stood on the perfect, crack-free sidewalk below a dull street light. He glared down at you in a sort of bone chilling way, and your smile faltered. He resolutely sighed and nodded, and you smiled and kissed him.

“Thank you.”

“Bla bla bla...” he muttered, allowing you to drag him down the street.

Privet Drive was exactly as you remembered it, and once again you felt the need to run round with purple underwear on your head, shrieking madly. Obviously, though, you resisted the temptation, and pulled Harry along after you like a disobedient child. You saw that Dudley had apparently gotten a very fast and expensive car for graduating Smeltings, and it was sitting in the street outside Number 4. Rolling your eyes at it, you saw that the whole family seemed to be inside, especially as the air conditioner round the back of the house was humming. You pulled Harry up the drive and towards the door, ignoring that he tried to fight against you the closer you got. Finally, you turned and glared at him.

“If you don’t stop acting like a four year old I will most certainly not be afraid to embarrass you in front of a load of people right now!” you hissed. “I do have my wand and you’re forgetting that I know not only a Gender Transfer hex, but also a very good Clothes Disappearing Charm!”

Harry paled slightly. “You wouldn’t dare. It takes three weeks for the Gender Transfer Charm to wear off without professional medical help, and our wedding is in two weeks.”

You glared at him. “Try me.”

He eyed you for a moment, and the steely look on your face. You, of course, wouldn’t, but from the look on your face he thought you would. Harry sighed and let you pull him up the rest of the drive. You rang the bell, and somewhere deep inside the house a chime went off. You heard the t.v. going in the living room, and someone shouted that they’d get it. After a second a big, lumbering shape came closer to the door through the stained glass panes, and you heard the knob turn.

As the door opened, you saw a familiar, really porky guy, but this time he was a bit less fat and a teeny bit more muscled, but it made no difference. Boxing had done Dudley little good. He saw you first, and his eyes lit up, recognizing you from last summer. Then he saw another person standing next to you, and his eyes swiveled that way. There was a second of silence, punctuated by the t.v. in the cool living room, as shock registered in Dudley’s piggy eyes.

“DAAAAAAD!” he yelled.

“Thanks, we’d love to come in,” you said, pushing past him and into the house.

You pulled Harry after you, and saw Vernon Dursley jumping to his feet and turning. However, upon seeing who was in his front hallway, he froze in disbelief. You glanced around, then saw Dudley, staring open mouthed at the two of you, was still holding the door open. You scowled and shut it.

“For god’s sake, let a few more flies in....”

Petunia Dursley was on her feet, half hidden behind her husband in fear as if she thought you both were wanted convicts. You stared at them, and suddenly Vernon seemed to come back to life.

“OUT OF MY HOUSE!” he roared, pointing dramatically at the door. “I’D THOUGHT WE’D RID OF YOU!”

“Well you wer-”

You nudged Harry hard in the ribs, which winded him out of speech. He rubbed his rib, giving you a death glare as you smiled sweetly. “What Harry is trying to say it that he’s not back, we’re just, er... visiting.”

Vernon had a look of disbelief on his puce colored face. “Your kind don’t visit normal folks!” he hissed, as the windows were firmly closed and all prying neighbors in their houses.

You didn’t try to hide your indignance. “Well excuse me, but it was my idea and not Harry’s.”

“Who ARE you?” Vernon demanded in a way that reminded you of the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland.

You smiled and extended your hand to shake. “Amelia Wright.” Vernon looked at your hand as though it was contaminated with leprosy, and you recoiled it. “Yes, well....”

“Get out of my house.”

Harry was rolling his eyes at the ceiling and looked amazingly bored. You knew he was quite used to this reaction. You stared at Vernon.

“I said get out.”

“Er, we wanted to talk to you,” you said. “And your family.”

“Whatever it is, no. You CANNOT come in MY HOUSE, and threaten MY FA-”

“Wait, I’m not threatening anyone!” you said hotly.

Vernon looked close to exploding. “YOUR PRESENCE IS A THREAT!”

You scoffed. “Look, I was just trying to be civil and invite you to the wedding.”

Petunia Dursley seemed to come alive at this. “Wedding?!

Nodding, you said, “Yes, Harry and I are getting married on August second.”

There was a silence so intense you could hear a pin drop, before Dudley burst into hysterical laughter. You turned to stare at him, chosing to ignore Harry’s mutter about what a shit-faced moron Dudley was.

“Ma-MARRIED!!! HAHAHAHAA!!” Dudley roared, slapping his thighs (as he could not reach his knees). “A whole family of freaks! AHAHAHAHHA!! I can see it now! Better than the fucking circus!”

Vernon started laughing, too, and Petunia stuck with a sneer. You sighed and shook your head, feeling your self esteem drop amazingly. “Well, I just thought it would be nice if you were there... since your his family?”

Petunia snarled, “We’re not family of any of you wierdos! She was his family, and they died a long time ago!”

You felt Harry’s hand in yours clutch in anger, and you hoped to god he would cause someone or something to explode. Shaking your head, you turned and pulled Harry past Dudley and out the door. The Dursleys followed you, as if to get a last look at a really good show, and stood in their doorway as you went down the path, seething with anger and guilt. Coming to the bottom of the drive, you turned to Harry.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “I didn’t know they were that completely horrible.”

“It’s okay...” Harry muttered, shrugging. “I was starting to think they’d forgotten about me completely.”

But, instead of letting him pull you back down the street to Apparate back to London, you turned to the Dursleys, still laughing in their doorway. A swelling anger was coming over you, and you wanted to give them a piece of your mind. You took a deep breath.

“You Dursleys are really low!” you yelled, trying to get the neighbors to come and investigate. “Your nephew KINDLY asks you to attend his WEDDING, and you refuse and LAUGH him out of your house! You’ve got no sense of manners or kindness AT ALL!” Indeed, a few people were coming out of their houses, and the Dursleys were furiously taking notice. “You make me SICK. Harry has never been this rude to you, even when you LOCKED HIM IN HIS ROOM AND PUT BARS ON HIS WINDOWS when he’d done NOTHING wrong!”

“Amelia...” Harry whispered, trying to drag you off.

You shook him off roughly, in the swing of anger. “And then you STARVED him when your son had enough fat to sink a battleship! You’ve got SOME NERVE. His parents were KILLED BY MURDER and you couldn’t even tell him that, you told him they got killed in a bloody CAR accident! You’re sick in the head, all of you! Now I’m GLAD you’re not coming to our wedding, I wouldn’t want such INSANE, SICK, and DISGUSTING people watching the best day in my or Harry’s lives!”

Vernon Dursley was turning a fine shade of purple, Petunia was pale and wide eyed with horror, seeing her neighbors glaring at her, and Dudley was staring at you, open mouthed. You took another deep breath.

“And we’re not FREAKS or WIERDOS, either! Just because Harry is more special and talented than your excuse for a son will ever be, does not mean he is a freak! Harry has done more fucking selfless things for other people than anyone I know, and if you’ve got the NERVE to call him names, you’re all ASSHOLES. We’re normal people, more normal than you PSYCHOTIC BASTARDS will EVER be!”

You suddenly felt a tingling in your fingertips, and Catherine’s voice in the back of your head was telling you frantically to stop.

“I’m personally shocked you haven’t suffered and EARTHQUAKE because of that fat lard you’ve got as a child!”

Suddenly the ground by their door was rumbling a little, so that only they could really see or feel it. Petunia screamed, Dudley whimpered and clutched the door, and Vernon looked close to murder.

“I’m surprised that Petunia’s little friends in the neighborhood didn’t tell her yet about the AFFAIR VERNON HAD WITH HIS SECRETARY.” Vernon’s eyes popped, and Petunia let out a shriek, staring at her husband.

“What are you talking about?!” Vernon demanded, a man cornered.

You laughed. “Cherie Daniels. Twenty two years old, blond, hazel eyes. You’ve been seeing her for months, Vernon. Almost a year. And Dudley, how about you tell your parents that your German super model girlfriend from last summer was fake? In fact, Dinky Duddykins here has never had a girlfriend.”

Dudley let out a sound of apoplectic rage. The neighbors were listening earnestly, obviously they’d not had a fine piece of gossip in a long while. Petunia was glowering at Vernon, who was torn between fury at you, and trying to tell his wife that you were lying. You were quite sure that this was going to ruin their reputations forever, and Harry was frantically hissing in your ear to leave, while trying to pull you off. You had the vague idea to snog him right there, just to piss the Dursleys off more, but decided a bit more bashing would suffice.

“What do you know?!” Dudley asked, trying to cover himself from the truth that he’d never had a girlfriend in his entire life.

You smiled sweetly. “I know a lot, you little ingrate. I know more about you people than you could ever imagine. You fuckers are so screwed up in the head that you wouldn’t be able to even fathom how much I know. You Dursleys are DISGUSTING.”

Smiling and shaking your head, quite certain that you’d wounded them permanently, you turned to walk off. Then you turned back, having a second thought.

“Oh, and by the way, Vernon, Cherie is going to have a baby. And yes, it’s yours!”

Smiling nastily at the stunned looks on all three Dursley’s faces, you took Harry’s hand and walked back down the street. Harry stared at you in shock as you went down the stone silent street, a smile on your face and a bounce in your step. As you rounded the corner and came to the Alley you’d come in through, he spoke.

“You are one hell of a spitfire!” he said, kind of in awe.

You smiled at him. “Thanks, Harry!”

“How did you know all that stuff?!” Harry asked.

Grinning coyly at him, you touched a finger to your nose. “I am the Seer.”

Harry smiled and kissed you. You let him for a bit, before pushing him off. Glancing around, you pretended to be offended.

“My goodness! Where is your sense of propriety?!”

He snorted in laughter. “You’re joking, right?”

Laughing, you nodded. “Duh. See you back at the house...”


The back yard of 12, Grimmauld Place, was around you, and the house appeared as Harry Apparated beside you, still laughing his head off. He followed you inside, and you saw Ron and Hermione sitting at the table, having tea with Molly. They looked up at you two, seeing your fits of laughter.

“Should I ask what you were up to?” Hermione asked, cup halfway to her mouth and one eyebrow raised.

You managed to laugh out, “Dursley bashing!!”

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