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A/N --> Well here it is...the super long chapter! Yay! One of my favorites to it is the day and night of the full moon. I really hope you like it....i could've made it 2 chapters, but it just felt better to keep it as i made it longer for you guys! Please please review on this one...thanks! And now that i am finished with my ramblings, you may continue with the rest of my piece of writing! Oh and just for good measure...guess what?! I totally got 92% on my english final at school.....yay! Last minute cramming does work i tell you! No but i think it had something to do with this writing! Sorry for putting that in here but i had to tell someone! And now...on to the long awaited chapter!

Disclaimer - As much as i adore James, he's not mine. None of the familiar characters are mine actually...or please...lets all give credit where it is so rightly deserved --> Thanks Jo!

Ch.8 The Anxiety of Lily Evans…or is that Sirius Black?

“Come on Miss Evans. We could be lovers, don’t you know.” Came a cocky voice from the other side of the common room opposite to where Sirius was sitting chatting with Lily’s old friends, (his new ones). Sirius was putting on what was now the third coat of vanilla lipgloss on his lips, trying to ignore the flirting James.

Lily who was currently sitting with James and Remus in the secluded corner was trying to stifle the laughter that was burning to be released from her body. The whole common room had seemed to be put on mute as every little group had suddenly stopped talking, in hopes to hear what Lily’s reaction would be today to the boy everyone knew liked to annoy her. But Lily in particular was very interested to see how Sirius was going to handle this one. It looked like he was thinking for the perfect response to shoot at James, so she sat quietly with every other Gryffindor and waited for the priceless moment. When Sirius didn’t reply right away, James spoke again.

“You see, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.” He said, which caused Lily to smile even if she didn’t want to. This did however make Sirius speak.

“I wasn’t looking at you Potter. And just so we’re clear, I don’t want to be with you because I don’t like you, ok? For the last time, there’s no chance for us because you’re just another unnecessary distraction in my life, got it?” Sirius said, trying to imitate Lily the best he could. Thinking this would shut up James, he turned back to the girls he was talking to.

“You’re right, you deserve better. But I would go to the ends of the world for you Lily.”

“Don’t give me that Potter, that’s the oldest line in the book.” Sirius replied, calm and surprisingly mature as he turned back again to face James.

“There’s a book! Why were we not informed of this?” James said as he turned to who he thought was Sirius, (but was actually Lily), with a fake surprised look on his face.

“What is it with you guys always having to act like such idiots?” Sirius said, now standing up and facing his former friend. He was now getting fully amused by the situation and wanted to hear James’ reactions.

“Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.” James replied very quickly as if this were just a normal conversation between friends. Which is was actually. “It’s a guy thing.” He finished.

“Which really means that there is no rational thought pattern connected with it, right?” Sirius said, causing Lily to laugh from where she was sitting beside James. It was a very amusing conversation to her and she didn’t want it to end anytime soon.

“Stop laughing Sirius! I always know what I’m doing, Lily. Have some faith in me.” James said, before flashing her a cheeky grin. “You sound like you believe that girls are better then guys.”

Now Lily was smiling very widely waiting to hear what Sirius would say, for if it were actually her in this conversation, she would start defending girls right now. And Sirius knew it.

“Girls are better then guys.” He said, before shooting Lily a quick glance, making Lily sure that Sirius thought he was betraying guys all over the world by saying that.

This statement only got James more excited however as he got to his feet and started walking over to where the girl he thought was Lily was standing.

“I bet I could give you one hundred reasons why guys are better.” James said, as if setting a challenge.

“Well I bet I could give you one hundred and one reasons why girls are.” Sirius replied as his face suddenly lit up. He was obviously having fun talking with James again. Regardless of the subject matter.

“Care to make a game out of it?” James said looking thrilled at the idea.

“I don’t have time for games Potter, especially with you.” Sirius replied right away, and Lily had to admit that he was doing a pretty good job of staying true to her personality.

“Then I guess that just proves that guys are better.” James said before turning around to everyone else in the common room that was listening and said, “I rest my case.”

Oh no, Lily thought. She knew that Sirius couldn’t just leave the conversation at that. He hated whenever James beat him at something. And it proved true again this time.

“Alright you’re on. You give me the five best reasons you can think of as to why guys are better then girls, and I’ll give you my five reasons why girls are. And you can’t get any help from your friends. Then we’ll let everyone else decide who wins.” Sirius said, and Lily sighed as James stood up straighter and looked the person in front of him in the eyes.

“Deal. I’ll go first.” He said.

“Typical.” Sirius said, trying not to smile as he did so.

“Alright reason number one why being a guy is better…” he paused and thought for a few seconds while everyone in the room held their breath. It seemed that everyone was very excited as to how this game was to play out, because Lily usually never accepted any of James’ games, or ‘lowered herself to his level’ as she used to refer to it by. As soon as James thought up his first good reason, Sirius knew right away because his smiled increased in size and he even went so far as to smirk. “None of our peers have the power to make us cry.”

There were shouts from the rest of the guys in the room telling James that he was perfectly right, and that he had done a good job.

“Fair enough. My turn.” And Sirius was silent for a few seconds as well as he thought about why girls were better then guys. Lily and Remus who were both sitting on James’ side of the room were really anticipating what Sirius would think up, for he had only been a girl for a couple of days. He looked up at James before giving his first reason, “In response to what you just said then…reason number one…girls can cry without pretending there's something in their eye or contact.”

James just smiled as he pursed his lips trying to think up another reason.

“Ok number two…the world is our urinal.” James said, causing all of the guys in the room to laugh. And even a few of the girls.

“Absolutely disgusting and disgraceful…I mean James. Anyways, reason number two why girls are better then guys…. if we’re a lousy athlete, we don't have to question our worth as a human being.”

Now this caused the girls in the room to laugh, Lily included.

I knew they’d like that one, Sirius thought to himself before James interrupted.

“Ok quiet, quiet.” James said to the room before continuing, “Reason number three…. Guys can sit with their knees apart no matter what they are wearing.”

“Nice, James.” Sirius said, realizing at the same time that he had forgotten to call him Potter for the second time. “Ok my reason number three…. Girls know the truth about whether size matters,” he said causing Lily to gasp, before laughing along with everyone else once more.

“Well does it?” James asked.

“Does what?” Asked Sirius.

“Does size matter?” James asked back.

“Like I’d tell you. Give your forth reason, Potter.” Sirius said, extremely pleased with himself for getting James off topic.

“Alright. How about this… if another guy ends up coming to class with the same outfit as us, we might become lifelong buddies.” He said.

“Hmm…good one.” Sirius said, “Alright reason number four why girls are better then guys…we can possibly live our whole lives without ever having the experience of taking a group shower.”

James even laughed at this one, while Sirius beamed.

“Alright last reason, my dear. Guys are better then girls because they can wear a white shirt in the rain.” James finished, and then waited to hear her last reason.

“Ok here it comes Potter, you ready for this? Playing off what you just said again, girls are most definitely better then guys because they can dress themselves!” Sirius finished, again smiling very widely, placing his hands on his hips like he used to see Lily do all of the time.

James smiled at the girl he thought was Lily before turning to the rest of the occupants in the room, “Alright so who won?”

At this, there were equally loud shouts from the girls who were defending Lily, and the guys who were defending James, making it almost impossible to tell who had actually won the argument.

“Guess it’s a tie, Lily dearest. Good game.” He said while he put his hand out in front of him.

Sirius shook James’ hand quickly before walking back to Lily’s friends once more. As Sirius had shook James’ hand, Lily giggled as she noticed that Sirius had sadly painted his nails.

Everyone, it seemed, was deciding to go down for dinner now that the entertainment was over and was standing up. Sirius watched his fellow marauders lead the group of Gryffindor’s out of the common room, slightly amused at how well they could hide their tiredness. For it was only last night and early this morning when they had met in the common room to discuss the plans for full moon, which Sirius knew was only in a couple of hours. He left the room with Lily’s friends, and they all made their way down to the great hall rather quickly.


“I’m stuffed like a chicken.” James Potter stated as he placed his fork down on his plate and looked at the person he thought to be Sirius.

“I don’t know what zoo you went to as a child James, but chickens aren’t generally stuffed nowadays.” Lily said while even going so far as to try to imitate Sirius’ trademark smile.

“I wonder why not. That’s going on my list of things to ask Dumbledore. Oh and speaking of questions, did anything strange happen last night, guys? I remember something vaguely that had to do with you Sirius but that’s about it.” When no one answered him, he brushed off the subject and checked the time, “Hey guys it’s 8:00, and it’s already starting to get dark out, maybe we should pick up the pace,” he said, speaking almost directly to Remus who Lily noticed wasn’t looking so good.

As he said this, James grabbed the spoon out of Peter’s mouth and threw it on the table, as they all stood up together. Lily stole a glance down the table to where Sirius was sitting, chatting easily with some of her friends. Secretly wishing she could be back talking to her friends who shared the same interests as her, she watched Sirius look up at her as soon as the marauders had stood up, for it had been done very loudly. They shared a meaningful look before Lily broke eye contact and started to follow the other three out of the great hall. Many eyes watched them strut across the room making Lily feel uncomfortable, but the rest somehow at ease.

When they reached the door, Remus turned the handle and they all got a surprise when they saw a girl on the other side of it crying. But Lily’s eyes widened as she noticed the girl as her best friend, Christina. She instantly stepped forward wanting to do nothing more then comfort her friend.

“Christina, what’s wrong!” She said in what she thought was a concerned voice while putting her hand on her friend’s shoulder in the process.

“Get away from me Black I’m really not in the mood,” She snapped, before pausing to sniff, and continued in a soft voice, “in fact, I really don’t want to be around any guys right now, so can one of you please go back in there and get Lily for me?”

James immediately turned on his heels, walked halfway to where Lily was sitting before yelling so that his voice echoed throughout the big room, “Hey Lily! You’re friend needs you!”

“Are you referring to yourself Potter?” Sirius yelled right back, not in the least embarrassed of starting a fight with James in front of all of her teachers, “because if you are, then let me remind you once more that we are not friends and…”

“No Lily, stop! It’s Christina.” James said, cutting her off.

Sirius rose out of his seat, knowing that Christina was Lily’s best friend and that it was his duty to go and help her. He would have been there without question if it had been one of his friends, after all.

James and ‘Lily’ walked out of the hall, now with every eye on them before they closed the doors behind them and met up with the rest of the marauders and Christina.

“Christina! What’s wrong, why are you crying?” Sirius asked, impressing Lily with the compassion in his voice.

“Not here. Come up to the dormitory with me.” She said.

Sirius glanced at Lily, knowing that the marauders were planning to start the night’s adventures at any moment. He prayed that whatever was wrong with Christina wouldn’t take too long because he had a designated time to meet up with James outside after Lily left for her fake detention. But he did have an hour until then at least.

“Ok let’s go” He said and the two of them ran up the stairs towards the Gryffindor common room. Sirius glanced down at Lily who had a worried look on her face that told him that she thought the whole plan had been ruined. He just shrugged and ran after Christina leaving Lily with the marauders who had already started walking towards the front doors of the castle.

Lily had already fallen behind, slowed down even more, thinking about how she was going to drop the news about her ‘detention’ to James who was currently walking in the front as always, leading the other two rather quickly.

“James, wait!” She said, not able to think up anything cleverer.

“What is it, mate?” He said without even turning around or stopping for that matter.

“I just remembered that McGonagall gave me detention tonight…er…right now in fact.” She said hoping that he would just let her go.

Well that got him to stop walking at least, and turn around as well.

“What! Padfoot! You know we can’t get detention on nights like these!” He said, giving evil glares to any passing student who had turned to stare at them when he had started screaming at his best friend. For James Potter never yelled at Sirius Black, and everyone knew that. Unless it was very important or involved another friend. And in this case it included both.

“I’m sorry Prongs, really I am! I didn’t mean to…it will just be an hour and then I’ll come and meet you guys,” Lily said, actually sorry for getting James so mad. She had almost forgotten about his temper since the nights before she had been transformed into Sirius’ body, which seemed so long ago, when he used to yell at her.

“Fine. Just go Padfoot, but I won’t forget this, and neither will Remus.” James said softly before turning around once more.

“For the love of friendship Potter, you’re overreacting completely!” She shot right back before turning on her heals and heading to the library to where she had planned to hide out when Sirius was going to sneak outside in his dog form. All she heard as she stormed off was a faint, ‘what did you just call me?’ from James, who seemed shocked to have been referred to by his last name by his best friend.

Lily entered the library and sat at the closest table she could get, not caring if any passer by could see her through the glass windows, even though she was supposed to stay hidden for the rest of the night.


James, Remus, and Peter all stood silently not knowing what to say or what to do about ‘Sirius’’ reaction. He didn’t usually blow up at James, and they couldn’t remember a time when he had ever called him Potter.


“You know what guys…you go ahead, I forgot…er…. the cloak…so ya, I’ll meet you outside later,” James said quieter then usual, his confidence seeming lost.

“Ok James, but just make sure you find us, ok? It’s pretty foggy outside tonight, making it really hard to see in which direction the willow is in, let alone a rat or a werewolf,” Remus said to James, lowering his voice as he said the word werewolf. James nodded in reply not really hearing what was said.

At this, James turned around and walked directly towards the stairs that would lead him up to the Gryffindor common room. He turned once he had reached the top of the staircase to find that Remus and Peter had already gone outside unnoticed as they all did every month. He continued his walk to his room, but didn’t take the shortest route he knew. In fact he took the longest one so that he could be by himself and think. But being by himself didn’t seem an option, as the halls were full of people who were just leaving the great halls, and were talking noisily.

“Hey James, how’s it going! Do you want to go to Hogsmead with me next weekend?” A blonde third year asked him as he passed by her. It was one of the many girls that he had smiled at some time before who had become infatuated with him as a result.

James, slowing starting to get annoyed of girls fawning over him, sighed as this third year interrupted his thoughts, which were of more important matters then Hogsmead.

“Er…sorry, I didn’t even know there was a trip this weekend. I think I’m going to ask Lily Evans though, so maybe another time, all right? I’d try someone in your own year though, because I’m sure someone with your pretty face could get a date in a matter of seconds,” he said before flashing her a genuine smile, hoping she would take his advice.

The girl just smiled before walking over to her friends who were waiting at the end of the hall. James shook his head as they all started giggling and squealing in what he believed to be too high a tone of voice for any human to use. After saying a hello to some fellow Gryffindors, he climbed another set of stairs until he felt that he could return to his previous thoughts. Which were of a certain shaggy haired friend.

Not really watching where he was going, James somehow eventually ended up outside the portrait that was now the only thing standing between him and the Gryffindor common room.

“James loves Lily,” he said, feeling like an idiot as he said the password. But he was let in nonetheless, so he tried to make his way to the boys’ staircase without having to talk to anyone.

He had to stop though as there were only two people sitting by the fire and one of them was crying. He stood there watching Christina cry, and watching who he thought was Lily trying to comfort her, looking more uncomfortable then she ever looked before.

“I’m going to get some more Kleenex’s Lily, and maybe some more chocolate…I’ll be right back,” Christina said as she got up and left, even though James knew it was because she didn’t want him to see her cry.

Lily, or rather Sirius, looked up from the couches to see James staring sadly at her before raising his eyebrows.

“What’s up James, you don’t look seem your usual upbeat, playful self today?” Sirius asked, knowing right away that something was wrong with James. It was his friend intuition.

“Oh it’s nothing that you’d care about Lily,” he said to the redhead.

“Well, seeing as I’m already in the sympathy giving mood right now, why don’t you try me,” Sirius said, knowing he would get it out of James in the end.

“Simply put, I’ve got friend problems Lily. I know, I know, I bet you never thought you’d see the day where James Potter and Sirius Black weren’t attached at the hip, and maybe I’m overreacting, but I think something’s changed between us,” he honestly said to the girl who was actually ironically Sirius.

Sirius, a little taken aback by this openness didn’t know what to say at first.

“Well…er…I know that Sirius has a lot of things on his plate lately. Are you just noticing this from the past week then?” He asked, wondering what Lily must have said or done to him lately. He was definitely going to have a talk with her later though.

“Actually no, I’ve been feeling not as close to him for the past month, if I think about it. I mean, God Lily, we used to be inseparable and I loved that. It was like nothing could be that bad if we just had each other. You probably think I’m too dependent on him or something don’t you?” He said.

The past month? Sirius thought. If he wasn’t speechless before, he was now.

“I’m sorry to hear that, James. I think you should maybe wait a week or two to see how things go, and then have a good talk to Sirius. I’m sure he feels the same,” Sirius said. It was all that he could say to James while he was currently in Lily’s body. He would just have to wait until he was back to normal to tell James that he was sorry.

“I don’t know why you’re suddenly being nice to me Lily, but thanks. I’ve got to go though, got places to be, friends to meet, you know?” He said before turning around and walking to the foot of the stairs. He stopped though and turned around one more time before speaking again, “Oh by the way, what was wrong with your friend?”

“Oh…uh…right, her boyfriend broke up with her. If anyone’s dependent James, I’d say that it’s girls on their boyfriends. See you later.” Sirius said, just as Christina came down from the girls’ staircase, chocolate box in hands.

James turned around, ran up the stairs, then walked into the marauder’s room and found his cloak under his pillow where he kept it. He quickly grabbed it, and then left the room, closing the door as he did so. As he walked back down the stairs and to the portrait opening, he heard a faint voice that he recognized as Lily’s,

“Nice cloak, Potter.”

Smiling, he walked out into the hall, and started to make his way to the nearest staircase. When he found it, he went quickly went down it, skipping two stairs at a time until he found himself walked alongside the library. Taking a quick glance in, he saw Sirius sitting by himself at one of the tables. Wondering why Sirius was out of his detention a half an hour earlier, James debated whether or not he should go and see him. His curiosity got the better of him however as he entered the library door and headed straight for his friend, preparing himself for the confrontation.

“Sirius! What are you doing in the library of all places! I thought you had detention, or were just lying to me now?” James asked in a quiet voice so that no one else could hear their conversation.

“Look, I just got out of my detention, ok? Calm down, Sherlock Holmes,” Lily said as she started to stand so that she was level with James.

“Well let’s go outside then. Moony and Pete are already out there,” James said as he started to head for the library door through which he just came in from.

“Right behind you,” Lily said as she waved to the librarian and followed James out of the library and through the crowded hall to the front door.

Even if Lily looked cool on the outside, she was terrified on the inside. This wasn’t part of the plan, and the real Sirius was nowhere to be seen. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to transform if she needed to, and didn’t know what to do with a werewolf.

James opened the front doors and the two of them slipped outside into the dark unclear night. When Remus had talked about fog, he wasn’t exaggerating. Lily couldn’t see anything except her and James through the mist, and it looked as if they were about to walk into a cloud.

“I can’t see anything, Sirius!” James exclaimed as he tried to peer through the fog for their friends.

“Me neither. I guess we’ll just have to go back inside,” she suggested even though she knew the idea would never fly with James.

“No way, Padfoot! Remus needs us, come on, we’re going through the fog and we’re going to find him,” he said, taking the leader role once more as he walked into the fog, almost vanishing from Lily’s sight.

Against her better judgment, as she didn’t know the grounds nearly as well as James did, she followed him quickly and made sure that they didn’t get separated.

As soon as they had walked for about 10 minutes, Lily grabbed James’ who had been walking in front of her, and made him stop.

“James…er…do you even know where we are, because I can’t see anything...not even a tree,” She asked peering at James’ face.

“I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are,” He said as he looked around once before focusing his attention on her again, “well, either that, or no one will ever see us alive again. Your call.”

“I prefer the ‘I’m not lost’ answer,” She said in Sirius’ joking voice.

“Me too. Let’s keep going though, I think the Whomping Willow is around here somewhere,” he said, and as he did, walked forwards.

What am I going to do? Lily thought to herself, praying that Sirius would get out here soon to alleviate her from the danger, as she watched the fog and clouds start to move aside making room for the moon.


“Look Christina,” Sirius said, as he looked out of the window and saw the first traces of the full moon showing through the fog, “you’re better then this, alright? Don’t cry over some boy who isn’t worth your tears. And don’t swear out guys from you life just yet, because believe it or not, there are some good ones out there who care about you and want only good things for you.”

“Thanks Lily,” Christina said, putting down her Kleenex’s and chocolates to give her friend a hug.

“Anytime. Now why don’t you turn in early tonight and get a peaceful few hours before the other loud, gossipy girls come in,” he recommended. He didn’t like loud, gossipy girls.

“I think I will Lily. Thanks again, I really appreciate you being here for me,” She said, before standing up and heading for the staircase.

As soon as Sirius saw her close the door, he bolted right up, ran to the portrait opening and raced out of the common room.


“James, what are we going to do? The moon’s almost fully showing and we are lost somewhere in the forest I’m guessing,” Lily frantically said.

“I don’t know Siri. I guess we should transform soon, but keep your ears open for any sound of Remus,” he said as he transformed and then walked more into what Lily was sure was the dark forest.

Lily stood alone on the spot, and started to hyperventilate at all of the thoughts and fears that were going through her mind at the moment. But just as she was feeling that she was in the worse situation she could ever think of, she felt something soft touch her hand making her jump in fear, eyes wide open.

She was about to run before the creature came into her view path and she recognized it as a black, shaggy haired dog.

“Sirius!” She yelled hugging the dog at her feet, “Thank God! I don’t know where James went!”

The dog nudged her hand again as if telling her to follow him, and she did. Sirius led her back to the entrance of the school very quickly. Apparently dogs had a better sense of direction then she did.

The fog shifted once more that night and the moon came into full view, so Sirius barked as if to make sure she was safe before turning around and running back into the mist. She knew that he was off to find his best friend, James, before the two of them would set out to have an adventure of a night with Remus and Peter, if they ever ended up finding them.

Lily turned around and was face to face with the door to Hogwarts. She turned the handle with a little difficulty, pushed the door open slightly, and slowly stepped inside.

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