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And so the ever famous One Sock Left returns with much ado!

Disclaimer: I OWN ALL THE INSANITY! JK Rowling only gets the characters! Oh, and this first fight is between James and Sirius - it got kind of hard to read, so during just this part I put Sirius as underlined too.


~*~


~ As do all summers, the summer occurring in said journal sadly ended. The marauders, which are returning for their sixth year [a much crucial one, I must say] return with most of their limbs in tact, with only traces of pink in their hair and the scent of farting dog littered on their clothes. ~


~*~
ARGH! I HATE SIRIUS! I CAN’T BELIEVE HIM- ARGH!!!!!!!

Shut up moron, it was for your own good!

You call hiding my own journal from me GOOD?!?! GEE, I’D SURE LIKE TO SEE WHAT’S FANTASTIC IN YOUR STANDARDS!!!!

James, this journal was only getting in the way!

You shut up! I’m not listening to your excuses any more!

I was only trying to-

LALALALALALA!!!!!!!!!

FINE! But just for the record [aka, this journal] I only hid it so that you could fully put all your concentration on becoming a gentleman! I was HELPING YOU! Remus agrees; it was for the best!

Oh, oh SURE! If it HELPED, why are you giving it back now!?!?

Because you’re DONE with your gentleman lessons!

SAYS WHO!?!?!

YOU! YOU EVEN MADE REMUS MAKE YOU A DIPLOMA!

Well, well….! GET OUT OF MY JOURNAL! I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY WE FIGHT IN HERE ANYWAY! IT’D BE EASIER TO JUST YELL AT YOU!

YOU ARE YELLING AT ME! RIGHT AFTER YOU FINISH WRITING YOU YELL AT ME SO I DON’T EVEN NEED TO BLOODY READ WHAT YOU WROTE!

GET OUT OF MY JOURNAL!!!!!!!!!

YOU GET OUT OF *MY* JOURNAL!

THIS IS MY JOURNAL, IDIOT!

WELL AT LEAST I’M NOT UGLY!

AT LEAST I HAVE GOOD COMEBACKS!

WELL AT LEAST I’M NOT UGLY!

SHUT UP! REMUS SAYS MY NOSE WILL GO BACK TO NORMAL EVENTUALLY!

SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU LISTENED TO REMUS!?!

SINCE FOREVER!


~*~


[At this time, Remus finally came and took the journal away from both of them, for his sanity’s sake.]


~*~


Okay. I’m calm. I’m James, I’m calm, and I do not want to beat Sirius into a million pieces anymore. Seriously; [no pun intended] I’ll make due with just a thousand.

So, after much talking, yelling, punching, cursing, fighting, farting, licking, [don’t ask] pushing, shoving, crying, (Not me! The neighbor kid!) and shaking, we’ve come to a mutual agreement. All is well as ever [or as well as can be expected] in our lives.

I’m on the Hogwarts Express right now, and we’re just making it into the countryside. Er, here, this might take a bit of explaining…

During the summer, somehow, Remus and Sirius got the idea in their heads that this journal was making me even weirder than I was to begin with. [Which I won’t comment on] So, whilst [sorry, just had to use the word “whilst”] I was sleeping, they STOLE The Journal! “The fiends!”, I hear you say! Yes, it was truly horrible, but I suppose it did help…

Anyway, to catch up on all that’s happened, my gent lessons are complete! Finished! Finito! Done! Done-ito![? it doesn’t have the same ring as Finito] Peter even gave me a present [cheese] and Remus gave me a diploma. [Which I did not beg/ask for!]

And I’m not exactly sure their idea was good… I mean, honestly, in person, I’m much more subdued, but on paper [in here, to be exact] I’m even more wild.

Moving on, what was my last entry? Ah yes, Lily! She’s so beautiful…. Er, *cough* yes, um, well, we’ve kept in touch. We haven’t actually met again, in case we’re jinxed during the summer time or something, but we’ve kept almost daily correspondence via owl. [And *no*, I’m not getting all of her letters framed now. I’m satisfied with laminating them.]

I guess my summer’s been pretty eventful, in terms of Change and whatnot. I just hope it continues through into my school year.

Did I mention we have THE best prank planned EVER for the feast?


~*~


Yes, it twill be totally AWESOME! I mean, what with the balloons and the fireworks and the fish-

WHEN DID FISH GET INTO THIS!?

Er, heh, funny you should mention that Remus…

We are not subjecting sea creatures to humiliation and hurt pride for our own maniacal pleasures!

But-!

NO BUTS!



~*~


It. Was. BRILLIANT! Who would have thought you could make so many fish sticks in so little time?

So, once we had the beginning of the year speech and the sorting for the first years, our plan came into action. Let’s start with the main dish.

I was actually having a merry conversation with Lily on the healthy benefits of eating fish, to whi- oh, I’ll just write it out.

Me: Did you know that fish is proven to be 67% healthier than beef, pork, and chicken combined?

Lily: [laugh] Just so long as everything doesn’t turn into fish.

Me: …. Funny you should say that…

At that time, amazingly, everyone in the Hall simultaneously took their first bites, only to find

FISH! EVERYTHING WAS FISH! FISHY FISH FISH!

I’M TELLING THE STORY! Humph! Well, yes, everything tasted like fish! The steak tasted like fish! The turkey tasted like fish! The pumpkin tasted like fish! It was hilarious; at first, no one got what was going on! I mean, okay, imagine this is what you’re thinking:

Ooh, a lovely medium-well steak! Delicious – what the DUCE?! It’s FISH!!

Before anyone could turn heads or point fingers [or make somewhat vulgar hand motions] all of the candles in the hall started giving off sparks! Yes, that’s right! WE MADE THE CANDLES FIREWORKS! They all blew up, showering the hall with the house colors! [We only did green because I’m A Gentleman Now and Remus made us]

So that distracted them from their seafood-y feast, giving Sirius ample time to set the third part into action. He threw up a strategically charmed box, and when it reached the near-ceiling [above the sparkling candles] it burst open and hundreds of balloons came out! IT WAS AMAZING! I still can’t believe our own geniuses!

And, get this, the fireworks had just sizzled out on time with the balloons falling, so it was brilliant! Finally, when all the balloons had fallen and were everywhere, they all simultaneously popped [okay, that really wasn’t a good idea. I think I may be deaf in my left ear…] and the feast went on!

Yes, yes, don’t hold back on applause! No autographs, please! I mean, even LILY liked it! She was laughing and smiling and…. It was so totally worth the month of detention. [Though the only reason was because some students were allergic to fish and broke out in hives. Very sorry, but it was for the common good.]

And now I’m back in my dormitory, waiting for Sirius to come back from the kitchens with butterbeer and truffles, because He Is Sirius and Sirius gets butterbeer and truffles every year on the first night back. Don’t ask me why – it’s an odd combination – but it’s just something he does.

~*~


Hey, it may be an odd combination, but you gotta admit, it’s good. Better than good; I should open up my own restaurant! I’ll make millions and I’ll hoard them all so Peter doesn’t mistake a galleon for cheese again and choke. [Don’t worry, he was fine! And it was only three times!]


~*~


They say that half the things you learn you won’t ever need to know. Well, okay, students say that and then when they’re older they grudgingly admit they were wrong, but I’m still a student, so yeah. Anyway, it’s all TRUE! Who bloody needs to know that Grud The Crud won the Seventeen thousandth millionth gazillionth peace treaty of Burrrrrrrrrrt? No one! It’s utterly useless information unless you were somehow connected in the writing and making of the Seventeenth thousandth millionth gazillionth peace treaty of Burrrrrrrrt! And how the bloody hell are you supposed to *win* a *treaty*?! I swear, Binns just likes the sound of his own voice!

I find the Treaty of Burtilies quite interesting actually.

Yeah, well, you’re Remus. You have a knack for liking things other people don’t. Like feet.

My feet are not ugly!

And DeNial is not a river in Egypt! No, no you can’t write an answer in here, no more of that! What? Okay, I’ll write it: Remus says that there IS a river in Egypt called the Nile- hey! No more stupid information in this journal! [It gets enough of that from me]

Besides the overbearingly BORING [Remus: Shut up!] and utterly useless class of History of Magic, I think all of the classes have changed! Now we have the pressure of NEWTS!

Listen to me McGonagall: We Have All Next Year! I swear, how does she do it!? Why does she do it? Doesn’t it mean more work for her!? If I was a teacher, I’d never assign homework! I might get fired, but hey, I’ll leave to the cheering crowds of student everywhere, begging for me back!

Stop questioning how well the gent lessons worked! I’m serious [no pun intended] in real life, I’m a true-blue gentleman. I even carried Lily’s books for her AND opened the door for her! And opening the door is a hard task when you’re carrying fifteen hundred books!

Honestly, how many classes is she taking?! She must be at least five extra ones; you don’t get books that heavy with just the normal curriculum! But what extra classes are there? Just Arithmacy, right? I can’t think of anymore, so I guess I’ll just ask her.

…. She says they’re for READING! Can you believe it!? She’s not taking ANY extra classes, she just likes to read! Who on earth likes to read?! [Well, obviously, besides Lily. And Remus, but he doesn’t count in most things because He Has Ugly Feet]

~*~


I know! Really! I was talking to John Abbott today, and he had this muggle book called, “Great Expectations”! He even gave it to me, and I must say, muggle authors aren’t nearly that good. I mean, this Pip guy, the main character, he can’t even *read*! Who would write a book about a stupid person? No one!

Oh, just read it! And MY FEET AREN’T UGLY!

You’re so modest Remus, and I would have read it anyway! I never stop once I start something, unless it’s bad or icky.

I can hear my brain dying right now; “Icky”?! How old are you now, five!?!

No, SEVEN! TEEN! Honestly, I thought you were the smart one!

Sirius, it’s called sarcasm-oh, never mind!


~*~


I can’t believe my good luck; I mean, it’s almost suspiciously good! I GOT AN O ON MY POTION!

Yes, that’s right, an O! No, it is NOT the apocalypse! Yes, that’s right, I am James! No, I have NOT been kidnapped and this is Sirius writing. I mean, his handwriting is messier than mine! You wouldn’t be able to read it!

So maybe studying DOES help! I wasn’t sure when Remus first proposed the idea over the summer, but he promised that it worked. So I did. And it DID work! It’s amazing!

I shall continue my experiment and record observations here, until further notice!

~*~


Wait, lemme get this right: You *doubted* Remus!? I thought we already talked about this James, Remus is all-knowing! Do not doubt the Remus!

Ye of little faith!

Um, okay, he *doubted* you Remus – he didn’t say “Remus talks like a weirdo now”.

It’s an expression!

Uh huh, sure, sure.

BAH! I don’t know why I put up with either of you!

It’s because we’re good looking. You can’t help but be swayed by our devilishly good looks!

… I’m just not going to say anything.

Oh, oh! Look! He’s swaying! Silence is agreement!

Since when?!?!

Talking is agreeing even more! Remus lurrrrrrrrvessss us!

What the- what kind of word is “lurve”?!?!?!?!?!

Oh! He said it! He said “lurve”, he admits it!

I DON’T GET THIS TWISTED LOGIC!

You don’t have to get love, Remus!

I’M NOT IN LUR- I MEAN LOVE!

Moony luuuuuuurvvessss me and James! He thinks we’re right stuff!

NO MORE BUTTERBEER FOR YOU! GIVE ME- I’M TAKING THE JOURNAL!!!!


~*~


… that had to be the most disturbing conversation I’ve ever read. I don’t know whose sanity to question, Sirius’, Remus’, or mine. Hey! I just noticed something – all of our names end in “s”! Except for Peter. Poor Peter, he’s always been the odd one, what with his cheese and all… tisn’t [sorry, just had to say “tisn’t”, which may or may not be a real word] hard to doubt his sanity, I’ll tell you that.

Now I’m off to interrogate Remus on his questionable sexuality preferences…

~*~

A/N: I UPDATED!!!!!!!!!! WOOT!!!!!!!!! Yes, I took a much needed break from OSL, and now I've got my IT back! Does that mean I'll be updating faster? HELL NO! Ha, don't get your hopes up THAT high! Just be glad you GET updates now!

A Note to Reviewers: THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!! I honestly wouldn't have gotten this far had it not been for you guys! Heh, I'm so greedy; I love all of your reviews sooo much!

Note about the sequel: Yeah, it's not gonna happen. I tried writing it, and it didn't work... then again, I didn't have my IT back yet when I tried, so I suppose we'll see. [though it's looking pretty grim right now] Oh, and it'd be Lily's POV! Sorry all you puppy lovers!

Note about the writer's duel: Thank you to everyone who voted for me! I still can't believe I got SECOND! For any of you who haven't read it, I should have it up soon; I'm just waiting for my banner to be done. And for all of you who HAVE read it, I changed the title to "Last Impressions", because it sounded better. ^_^

Final Note: Again, thank you thank you thank you to everyone who reads my work! I love you all for it, and expect the next update sometime in May! The REAL final note, as of 5/6/05 at 10:21 PM: GO READ MY NEW FIC! (even though currently it still hasn't been validated yet, but whatever)

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