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A/N: Hello, everyone! Thanks for clicking on this--I'll stop rambling in a minute. Obviously this is a Lily and James fanfic, with a little bit of a twist. It's mostly canon, you know, so I didn't make too much up. It's basically the typical L/J situation: James loves Lily, Lily hates James. I loved how in OotP we found out that James makes an absolute fool of himself so he can get Lily to like him--too cute. Anyway, this story isn't going to be like my other one Living Life--which is more angsty and dramatic. It won't be nearly as long either. And this will be in two point of views--Lily's and James's. It's not first person, but at one point you know what Lily's thinking, and the other you find out what James was doing and thinking also.

I think that's about it--I hope you all like it!


Thanks

- Katie (singing)





Okay, so maybe she wasn’t exactly perfect. She had to admit, practically everyone at her school thought she was. At some point, even she considered herself to be a girl with no temper problems, with a clear head that only thought about important things that no one her age seemed to think about. Grades. School. Careers. She never had done anything with another boy so she thought of herself to be quite pure—and very, very levelheaded. That is, until she encountered him.

Which of course, she always did. Anywhere. Anytime. He was always, constantly getting in her way.

His name was James Potter. He was in her school, (unfortunately) was in her year, (also unfortunately) and was an arrogant boy who decided the moment he saw her that he should fancy her (very, very unfortunate).

She honestly didn’t know why he did. She felt that there was nothing special about her, even if most people thought differently. But her standoffish, cold attitude was necessary. If she weren’t like that, people would take advantage of her. They’d see things about her that no one, in her opinion, should ever see. People then would know that calling her a mudblood really did hurt her.

And no one could find that out.

“Thanks for letting me borrow your notes, Lily.”

Lily looked up and forced a smile as Daphne Henderson, a girl who shared their dorm with her and was also in her year, came over to where she was laying down on her bed. Daphne, unlike Lily, had shed herself from her uniform and was wearing a pair of flared out, bellbottom jeans, a red halter-top, and platform sandals—nightclothes. Lily never wore anything like that, which was rather sensible, since Lily never went out.

“No problem,” Lily said, trying to be friendly. Although she found Daphne terribly annoying, at least when she was giggling over Sirius Black and Potter, she tried to be nice to her so the girls in her dormitory would see that she was a civilized girl that didn’t want to bite their heads off. She only wanted to bite one person’s head off, which was namely, a boy’s.

Damn that Potter, she thought. It was completely his fault that everyone thought of her that way. Well, maybe not entirely but still…

“Mm-hmm.” Daphne said, nodding and taking off. Lily rolled her eyes as she immediately got out of the room; as if she was afraid she’d catch Lily’s ability to be unsocial.

It was usually like this; she’d come up from dinner and do her homework in the common room, were Potter would usually follow her and start annoying her endlessly. Once she was done with whatever essays she had to do, she’d leave the common room and head up the stairs to the girls’ dormitory. She’d stay up there the rest of the night; just catching up on some reading or if she was really tired, just fall asleep. Even on Fridays, the routine never changed.

Lily sighed and turned over so she was lying down on her stomach. She glanced up at the clock and saw that it was only nine o’ clock. I really don’t have a life.

Even though James Potter irritated her, she couldn’t help but think about him often when she was up in her dormitory, contemplating. It wasn’t because she found him charming, handsome, or debonair, like he would continuously remind her that he was. It was simply because nothing else remotely out of the ordinary happened to her unless he was there.

He was the only subject she could think about.

Of course, she’d never admit it. When she actually admitted it to herself, she’d always feel her stomach bubbling up in fury. But it was true. James Potter was what made her life out of ordinary. She hesitated to say it…but he was what made her life, slightly (only slightly, Lily reassured herself angrily) interesting.

Like that day for instance. Potter had come up to her during lunch and just sat there, staring at her.

“You look nice, today.” He said, as if they were continuing a conversation instead of starting one. At least, he was. Lily sipped her pumpkin juice and didn’t glance up at him from her book, although she could feel his disturbing stare still on her.

Lily ignored him, like she always did at first. She had gotten tired of trying to be friendly to him, since he’d always wear her out with their heated arguments which usually consisted of him asking her why she’d never give him a chance and Lily snapping back that she was tired of having him annoy her. So instead, she pretended he wasn’t there, which of course, considering the boy’s personality, never worked. What else could she do?

Nothing, Lily answered herself gloomily. And she was right, because Potter wasn’t a giver-upper. No, he instead fought endlessly for what he wanted, which was unfortunately for Lily, a date with her.

Black had passed by, snickering as Daphne followed him around with her friends. Remus Lupin lagged behind with Peter Pettigrew, trying to explain something to him from their lesson in Charms that day. If Lily didn’t hate the “Marauders”, as they insisted everybody called them, she’d help Pettigrew out. But of course, she didn’t. Anyone who was associated with Potter, (which was everyone, practically) Lily usually didn’t like talking to.

“I mean, you should put your hair in a ponytail more often,” Potter said in an offhand voice. It was rather ridiculous, since Lily wasn’t talking and it looked like he was talking to himself. “It looks really…yeah.”

Lily turned the page of her book, still not acknowledging his existence. This of course, frustrated Potter, since he was used to being the center of attention. When Lily was trying to be understanding of his point of view she would reason in her head that it wasn’t exactly his fault that he was the way he was; he was probably a spoiled, pampered only child who got whatever he wanted. It probably made him angry that Lily didn’t want him.

But it was so hard to think like that.

“Damn it, Evans,” he said, running a hand through his jet-black hair, causing it to become even shaggier than usual. Lily couldn’t help but narrow her eyes; his habit of messing up his hair was always something that annoyed her endlessly. “Do you really hate me that much?”

Lily bit her lip and resisted in saying, “Yes, yes I do.” She saw from the corner of her eye that Potter had noticed, and was licking his lips. Ugh, gross.

“See?” Potter said, sounding smug. “I know you’re listening to me.”

Lily inwardly cursed herself and pretended that she was in a bubble. That way, she wouldn’t be able to hear him yapping next to her.

Potter’s voice was so loud and annoying, well at least for her anyway, that the whole “bubble” technique didn’t work. “You know what?” he said, still sounding so sure of himself. “I’m not calling you Evans anymore.”

It was the strangest thing he had ever said, and that counted the time that he had told her that he wanted to have a child with her colored eyes. Lily couldn’t help but say sadistically, “Well, that is my name, you know.”

This was a huge mistake, though. Potter suddenly widened his eyes, as if he didn’t expect her to talk during “their” whole conversation. Then a grin slowly formed on his face, an easy one, and the one he’d always use when he was talking to her.

She hardly found this flattering.

“I knew you’d give in,” he said, although it was clear by his earlier expression that he wasn’t expecting her to talk at all. “And you’re right; Evans is your name, but it’s your surname.”

Lily looked at him incredulously, hardly believing what she was hearing. “So, what? Are you going to start calling me Lily now?” She laughed, and Potter stopped grinning momentarily. He was giving her a disturbing stare again.

“Well, yes.” he said slowly.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Potter,” she sighed. “You really do have too much spirit, you know that?”

“Spirit is what makes your personality,” Potter said, raising his eyebrows.

“Well, I don’t really like your personality much either, do I?”

Potter pretended to look hurt, which she had to admit, he did a pretty good job of. But the boy in front of her didn’t have feelings. Not that she knew of, anyway.

“Are you done?” Lily asked, glancing at him for a moment. Potter sighed then reluctantly got up.

“You know, Lily,” he said, leaning forward so that his face was in barely an inch away from hers. She groaned inwardly that he was already taking his plan into action. “You’re going to like me someday. I know it. And I think you know it, too.”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Potter,” Lily said dryly, and then returned to her book. She didn’t want to talk to him.

“I don’t need to,” he said, just as he was leaving.

When Lily thought back to it, she really did give him too much information. James was hard to read already, and she wanted to make it look like she was the same. That way, he’d get frustrated with her like she did with him, and he’d stop liking her.

If only life was so kind.

Lily basically hated James Potter for being, well, James Potter. They couldn’t be more different. He was arrogant and thought the best of himself, when Lily’s efforts to get top grades were to prove to herself that she was capable for a better future. He was rich, and Lily could hardly be called that. He was popular, and Lily had no friends whatsoever. James loved Quidditch, (he was Chaser and captain, after all) while Lily detested any kind of sports. James had a nice, non-dysfunctional family, at least from what she had heard of. He lived in a manor, and had best friends who he could count on for anything. Lily had no one like that in her life.

She had to admit that sometimes she envied him. Everybody loved James Potter, the champion of all their Quidditch matches and the boy who had loving parents and got good grades. She hated how he got everything without even trying; when she had to work hard for anything she needed or wanted.

She hated it.

***

Why do I like her?

James sat there, barely tuning in to his friends’ conversation. He glanced at the girls’ staircase, which he knew led to the girls’ dormitories, a haven James always wanted to cross.

The reason was pretty obvious.

He leaned back and forced a laugh as his best friend, Sirius Black, cracked a joke. It was necessary for James to laugh; Sirius and he had been practically brothers growing up, since James was the only child and Sirius’s relatives were hardly what you called friendly. Sirius didn’t seem to care that James wasn’t paying attention though, he knew what James was probably thinking about, and Daphne Henderson was giggling at any little word Sirius said, fluttering her eyelashes.

Knowing Sirius wouldn’t mind at all at the moment, James said distractedly, “Hey, Padfoot. I think I’m going for a walk.”

Sirius seemed to be momentarily concentrated on Daphne’s legs, which were shapely even under jeans. He merely shrugged and said, “Go ahead mate. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Of course Sirius already knew where he was going. James pretended to not notice his heeded warning and got up from his comfy armchair, stretching his arms and earning some glances from a flock of fifth year girls that always seemed to be behind him. He smiled at them; rather innocently he had to add, since he found fifth year girls far too young for him, unlike Sirius. Sirius, however, found that any girl who had already gotten to puberty was a matching fit to be his one-week stand.

“See you later,” James said as he passed his other good friend, Remus Lupin, who was sitting in a chair in the corner, immersed in a book as always. He noticed Lannie Williamson was sitting nearby on the floor, although still far away from Remus. James rolled his eyes at this; he and Sirius and perhaps the rest of the school knew that Lannie, the quiet yet sort of pretty girl, (then again, as Sirius continuously reminded him, his eyes were only glued to Lily, thus blocking his hormones to react to any other girl) fancied Remus for a while now. Remus however, being the gentleman he was, always would defend Lannie and tell James and Sirius off for making fun of her (every time the boys would mention Lannie, the rest of the Marauders would start making disturbing slurping noises with an invisible woman).

“Off to the spot again?” Remus asked absentmindedly. James grinned.

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Well don’t get too into it.”

“Yeah, yeah.” James said, rolling his eyes. “Whatever.”

“See you, then.”

“Bye, Lannie.” James grinned, as he passed her. Lannie, who had been peeking at Remus behind her book upside-down, jumped at being addressed and blushed furiously. She hid her crimson face behind the book.

Peter Pettigrew was found to be at a table near the staircase, biting his lip and trying to do his homework. Once seeing that his friend was approaching him, he immediately closed his book, looking relieved to be held off his homework for a while. “Going to that place again, Prongs?”

Sometimes James hated how his friends knew him far too well. “Yeah.” James said, trying not to let his voice sound sober. He grimaced, knowing what was next.

“Shouldn’t you know by now that Evans is never going to like you?”

“Thanks, Pete.” James said sarcastically.

“Just telling the truth, mate.”

“I appreciate it,” James said grimly. “Well, I’ll see you later, then. I can help you with your homework if you like.”

Peter gave the book he was reading and the half-finished essay a fearful look. “That would be nice.” He said weakly. Then he muttered, “I hate Charms.”

Lily’s face appeared in James’s mind. Lily liked Charms. In fact, it was her favorite subject.

“Yeah, I know,” James said, not really paying attention to what he was saying, since his mind was on one of those Lily rebound moments. “Well, see you then.”

“Bye, Prongs.”

James strode over to the portrait hole, where predictably the fifth year girls were standing nearby, pretending to look nonchalant. This time James ignored them and climbed through the hole, glancing for a moment at their crestfallen faces. James grimaced and left the common room. If only they knew him. Then again, not a lot of people did.

Once he was alone, ignoring the calls from the Fat Lady portrait, who was telling him off for getting out of the common room out of hours again, James thought about the question that Sirius had popped up on him during lunch, just after he had gone to talk to Lily. During their conversation, James told him that he was now going to be calling Lily by her first name now, something he wanted to do for a long time. Lily was so much better than Evans anyway.

When Evans rejected him once again, James had gone to sit with his friends, and that was when Sirius asked him; Why do you like her?

But did he even know? James dug his fists into his pockets and wandered the moonlit halls, passing through the tapestries and walking skillfully quiet, due to Filch and some sixth year prefects to be patrolling the halls tonight. Since all of the sixth years feared him, due to James being Quidditch captain, Head Boy, and supposedly the most popular boy in the school, James didn’t have to worry about them. Thus he only had to keep an eye out for Filch, the caretaker who had held a grudge against him and the rest of the Marauders for a while for their havoc-causing record.

It was partly because of James’s popularity that Lily, the deemed love of his life, hated him. At least, that’s what he thought, due to her dropped clues. She’d always call him arrogant, bigheaded, and smug; things that James had to admit were part of the show he’d put on for everyone. But that was because he wanted to get her attention, and unfortunately, the only way he could think of how to do that was by making an idiot of himself in front of her.

But he wasn’t like that anymore. Not after what happened last year, with Snape.

James shook his head and ran his hand through his shaggy black hair, remembering that Lily had once told him that she hated it when he did that. James automatically dropped his hand and continued walking, pausing once and a while to look outside.

James closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, just so he could think about her for a while. He could never do this in front of his friends, who would always know what he was doing. Sirius called it pre-masturbation, something that would always earn him a good thump on his head.

He started to think about her eyes, which were his favorite physical attribute. James remembered first noticing Lily’s vivid, auburn hair, and then noticing her beautiful, emerald green eyes. He was in first year at the time, and James remembered that he stood there for a full minute, staring at the girl. Sirius looked at him, raising his eyebrow, and then pulled his ear painfully. “What are you doing, staring at that girl for?” he had said, in his squeaky, eleven-year old voice. James had blushed crimson, since a moment later Lily had turned around, looking for the person who had just yelped in pain. She blushed also; although it was the only time he remembered her blushing because of him. James liked the feeling.

Was that when I started liking her? James wondered if he liked Lily because of her eyes. He immediately countered the idea however, since James knew that this obsessive adoration couldn’t be just because of something physical, although Lily was quite pretty.

Quite? Uh, I don’t think so, James thought. To him, Lily was the most gorgeous, astonishingly beautiful, person in the world. Imagine how cute our kids would look…

James was just starting to kick himself for getting so desperately in love with her, when someone said shakily, “Potter, you’re not supposed to down here.”

He opened his eyes groggily and saw that two sixth year girls were holding their wands with alight at the tip. James could tell that they were trying to look brave and intimidating, although James knew if that was the case, they wouldn’t be patrolling in pairs.

“Oh, that’s right.” James said nonchalantly, jumping off the windowsill he was sitting at and brushing his robes. “Sorry about that, girls.”

The girl in the back blushed furiously, while the other said, “So, you’re going to the common room…right?”

“Sure.” James said seriously. He stood there for a moment, pausing. “Good to know that some prefects are doing their jobs right.” He wanted to burst out laughing at that statement, but since he was Head Boy and all, he had to at least try to set a good example.

The girl in the back squeaked, “Thanks.”

“Yep, no problem.” James said, giving them a charming grin. He walked past the two girls and winked, so they wouldn’t notice that he was going in the opposite direction of the common room.

Not that they would do anything about it. Predictably, one of the girls said in an audible voice, “That was James Potter talking to us,”

“Whatever,” the other snapped, although she smiled when James waved to them as he turned the corner. “He’s not going to the common room, you know.”

“But still,” the first girl said breathlessly. “He’s James Potter…”

Okay, James. Enough stalling, James thought as he kept on walking, although he was rather moody. He reached the entrance hall and took out his wand, pointing it at the locked front doors and muttering a charm so that it would open. James took a hold of the handle and tugged at it, ignoring the ominous creak that was echoing loudly in the room.

Once he was outside, James turned right and started to move around the building, looking for the right window. The castle was huge, and it took a while for him to get there. He walked along the border, shaking his head as it drizzled outside. His thick hair sent water flying everywhere.

James sighed as he saw the lake in the distance. He liked that lake. He always wanted to take her there as a first date and just sit there sprawled on the grass, holding each other and hopefully the sky would be clear—so they could see stars.

He hated how he was so romantic. Sirius would always call him lovesick, anyway.

He could tell which tower it was instantly. James stood out there, tilting his head upwards as he counted the windows. He passed his own dormitory window above, where the lights were all off. His friends were still in the common room.

His heart stopped once he saw her. Then again, it always did.

She was crossing the room, with bobby pins in her mouth. He watched as she put her hair up in a high ponytail, taking the bobby pins out of her mouth and sliding them into her hair. The mirror she was using was right next to the window, so he could see her in her loose nightgown. He sighed, wishing for once she could see him the same way he saw her.

Once she looked satisfied with her hair, she smiled slightly and picked up her book on the cabinet beside her. She then disappeared out of sight, probably sliding into her bed so she could read.

It was quite lucky actually that he saw her at all. Usually, when James came, he wouldn’t see her in any of the windows. He knew which one it was though, since as soon as he found out which window was his dormitory’s window, he decided to figure out hers too. When he wouldn’t see her sometimes he’d just sit down and imagine he did…pretending that she didn’t hate him and was actually getting ready for a date with him.

But life wasn’t so kind.

James knew that his friends were right in warning him not to come, since he’d always get moody during these little “visits”. He collapsed on the ground, closing his eyes as he lay back against the moist grass. He blew air out of his mouth, his hair in his eyes ruffling slightly.

“Lily, why can’t you just see me?”

But she didn’t. She never did.



Tell me what you guys think! I answer practically all my reviews, so if you have any questions, just ask.
 

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