I don't own HP or the Beatles.

Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me
~ Across the Universe, The Beatles

Sirius Black had never liked England. He hated the feeling of being smothered by the salty air, the grey skies, and his pureblood family. No matter how hard he tried, it seemed that he was always surrounded by one and, sometimes, all of the three.

There was no doubt in his mind that he was different. He knew it by the way he breathed, by the way he felt, and by the way he lived. His ideals differed to that of his parents. It almost seemed as if they were across some made up universe that he had been exiled from.

It didn’t make sense to him. His brother was the perfect son, always perfect, always on time, and always agreeing to whatever his mum and dad said. Regulus was the perfect one, never Sirius.

“Boy,” an icy voice sneered from the outside of Sirius’s room.

Sirius winced at the all too familiar sound. It was his mum. It always was. The harsh grate of her voice constantly seemed to be at the back of his mind. The voice would haunt him wherever he was. For some reason, he couldn’t seem to get rid of it. Even when he was with his friends, it was a whisper, reminding him of what his family stood for.

“Sirius Orion Black!”

The new voice tore him out of his thoughts. His father had always had a special way with words. His words were like liquid venom, the longer you hear them, the worse they sting. Sirius had had sixteen years full.

Sixteen years too many, he realized.

Sirius merely watched as his parents yelled at him. The words carried no meaning anymore. After hearing them time and time again, he was finally done with their voices. The harsh words, the grating voices, they had finally pushed him over the edge.

He had barely realized it himself as he started to gather his belongings.

“You coward,” his father spat as he watched his eldest son gather his belongings. “They call you a Gryffindor?”

Sirius couldn’t hear him though. He just went on, barely blinking. After he had sufficiently filled his trunk, he made for the door.

His mother was more persistent. “Are you leaving, blood traitor?” she taunted.

Sirius said nothing. Her voice melted in his ears. It’d always been this way.

“You’ve been a nuisance to this house and our family for the past five years! If you leave now, you’ll never be welcomed back,” she sneered.

Sirius was about to do what the voice said. After all, mother knows best.

“You don’t have the courage to anyway. You’re no better than any of those other blood traitors. Filth!” Her cruel voice pierced his ears.

He slowly made his way back into his room. An object on the floor caught his eye, and he slowly picked it up.

It was a photograph. He and his friends were standing in front of the Whomping Willow. James Potter was smiling broadly, and every few seconds, he’d run his fingers through his already messy black hair. Remus Lupin had been grinning his classic lopsided smile in the picture while shaking out his shaggy brown hair every so often. Peter Pettigrew had nervously smiled as the picture was being taken, his watery blue eyes shining.

The fourth boy Sirius almost didn’t recognize. His dark brown hair looked much more luxurious in the sunlight, and his grey eyes danced with happiness. The most foreign of all were his actions.

He was laughing.

For the first time in a long time, the grating voice had gone from his head as he remembered his laughter. The barking sound made when something good happens.

That was when he realized that he wasn’t made to listen to the voice. He was meant for the laughter. Being a Black was far too serious for his taste, no pun intended. The grating voice didn’t belong with him. Not anymore.

Sirius carefully placed the photo in his pocket. He was done with the Blacks. He was going to his real family. Sirius silently slipped to the door, trunk in hand, and pulled back the lock. Just as the door creaked open, Sirius heard something behind him.

Fifteen year old Regulus Black stood staring. His dark grey eyes flickered between Sirius’s face, the trunk, and the opened door. Regulus was silent as he watched.

Sirius looked at his brother. For once, Regulus looked hurt. Sirius closed his eyes as the thoughts raged within his head. One thought, however, stood out from the others.

You’re leaving you only brother with them.

Before Sirius could open his mouth, another voice interrupted.

“Go,” Regulus had said.

Sirius didn’t move.

“Before they hear you,” Regulus added in a whisper. He walked closer and held the door, ready to shut it if his parents appeared.

Sirius took the step outside, and Regulus looked at him. Sirius wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come. They stood in silence for about half a moment more before Regulus extended a hand. Sirius smiled. It perfectly summed up the awkward brotherhood they had.

“Thanks,” Sirius muttered before taking to the streets. The moment he had been waiting for finally came. He was no longer a Black. He was finally free.

It wasn’t until he was completely alone that the tears started to fall.


A/N First update of the year! Woo! Leave your thoughts in a review! Lucy and Sirius will hopefully both be in the next chapter! Sorry if there are no updates for a while, but my grandpa is in the hospital, and I offered him my laptop. Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be out soon-ish!

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