Harry Potter Fanfiction – Read Over 85,000 Stories!

An excellent chapter and well written.

I take it that when you refer to Molly's father as minister, he's actually the MoM?

Must move on.

Author Response

Since, in canon, we have no historical line of succession in that position, why not?  But actually, I just assumed that since he was in authority in the Ministry of Magic that he might be a minister of some sort.

A nice start to your story.

I like the way that you seemed to have followed on from JKs description of life in the orphanage for Tom Riddle. And you've brought it to life beautifully.

Carrying on with the next chapter.

Author Response

This just follows what I did in the first story of this series, Dark Beginnings, which follows his time at Wool's Orphanage prior to the visit with Dumbledore.  It was a lot of fun to write and I would not change anything in it.

Hi again

Once again I loved this chapter. I like how you've got Tom determined to find out more about his family.

But one thing though, I think Tom would most likely have stayed at Hogwarts at Christmas than go back to the orphanage. Remember he hated the orphanage and thought of Hogwarts as home.

Good chapter and must move on.

Author Response

But, remember that Dumbledore had some reservations about Tom.  I believe that he suspects that Tom would use this time at Hogwarts to get into mischief that he would not be able to at the orphanage.  At the Muggle orphanage Tom realizes that he has to keep things in check.  The MOM has demonstrated the ability to sense misdeeds and, since Tom is the only magical at the orphanage it would be quite apparent who was responsible if something happens.

Review posted (along with the others) posted 8/8/18.

Once again another excellent chapter. 

I love how you've gone into detail about Riddles dreams of his family, I wonder when he'll find out that he was dreaming about his mother, grandfather and uncle? No doubt you'll explain later.

I don't know how Farley and his cronies got sorted into Gyffindor since the behavior they're displaying is not up to Gyffindor standards. Maybe at some point of the story you can include an explanation of how that happened (just a suggestion).

Must move on.

Author Response

An author has his (or her) secrets and at some point much will be revealed but that point is in the future.

You know, I have to imagine that at the time that they were first years being sorted they lacked the arrogance that they show now.  The headiness of having some authority can change a person into something that is not normal for them.  I have seen this in person when a student is selected to be the captain of a team or a cheerleader or any other coveted position.  Some, but not all, change significantly and we cannot forget the fact that they are approximately 16 which is an incredibly difficult age to manage (especially when you want something badly.

Review posted 8/8/18.

This was excellently written. I couldn't have described the encounter any better. Well done.

Just one thing. The Slytherin Common Room is behind a bare stretch of wall in the dungeon's and under the lake, not behind a witch. On some points I'm a bit of a stickler for detail.

Great chapter and must move on.

Author Response

It was a lot of fun to write.  I guess that I was thinking about a HP game that I had played that had the entrance behind the portrait of a witch.

Wow. A very powerful well written chapter.

I could visualise everything perfectly, it was like I was there experiencing it all, and this is important for me.

Well done.

Author Response

This (of all of the chapters that I have ever written) is my second favorite.  The honor of favorite belongs to "The Cave" which is in the story Dark Beginnings which concerns Tom's life in the orphanage just prior to his meeting Dumbledore.

I was visualizing it as well as I wrote it and this made it so easy to write

Another well written chapter. I must say that you do write/tell a good story.

I wonder if Molly has finally seen through Tom and his charming altar ego? Only reading on will I find out.

Great so far.

Author Response

This chapter was incredible to write.  She may be a bit upset with him and Carol at the moment, but things will only get more interesting.

Once again a well written chapter.

Well pride certainly did come before a fall where Farley was concerned. I wonder what he's going to do now?

I hope Molly doesn't get hurt to much when she finally finds out what kind of person Riddle really is.

Great chapter and moving on.

Author Response

That remains to be seen.

He really forgot a cardinal rule which is "make certain that there are no superior authorities in earshot when you start a problem".

As I have said before, Molly is a force to be reckoned with (something that will become more apparent as this series continues.)

What a Schemer Tom is. To use someone else to get Reid of Carol. When the crap hits the fan, he'll be blameless.

Another good chapter and moving on.

Author Response

Yep, the mark of anyone who could be labeled a sociopath.  He gets what he wants regardless of the cost to other people while remaining safe from the repercussions.

Tom must be feeling very pleased with himself. I wonder if he'll be found out.

A well written chapter and moving on.

Author Response

It was something that I had wanted to write for a very long time.  I like both the Carol and Molly characters that I created for this series of stories, but we have to have some conflict occasionally otherwise it becomes too sugary sweet.

Tom is Tom and likely will have some sort of problems in the future but we all know that he is more than a bit of a problem maker himself

Well what can I say but once again you've produced another wonderful chapter. You certainly have a knack for telling a good story.

I wonder what will happen next where Molly and Carol are concerned? And Tom I think is going to be in for a very rude awakening.

Must move onto the next chapter.

Author Response

I am an educator in a public school and have seen similar situations in person.  None of them are particularly pleasant and usually result in students at odds with each other.

By the sound of it I'd hate to get on the wrong side of Molly. Once she finds out exactly what happened she is going to blow her top.

Once again another excellent chapter must move on.

Author Response

As I said in another response to one of your very kind reviews, Molly Porter is a force to be reckoned with and will become more so as the stories progress

I don't like the sound of the last bit of this chapter. Tom Riddle has got something going on in his mind.

I wonder what will happen next, another good chapter and I must move on.

Author Response

He really does not care what he does (as long as he gets what he wants and yet can appear innocent) or who he does it to.

Nice, very nice. The descriptiveness of the storm was brilliant, it was almost like I was there experiencing the chaos. 
Though i must admit that I never expected this. 

If this is what happens when he's angry, I hate to see what happens when Tom really gets peeved off.

10/10 and moving on.

Author Response

Thanks!  I just let my mind go wild on this and if it sounded good, and was plausible, the storm made it happen.

Let's see, i need to use a quote by David Banner on the opening of the 1970's Incredible Hulk show for that answer.

"Don't make me angry!  You won't like me when I am angry!"

Thanks for another 10/10!

Well this chapter certainly took me by surprise. It sounded like (though you didn't say) you had Tom time travel back to the era of the Four Founders. Though saying, Hogwarts is a very mysterious place and anything can happen.

So you have Tom even in his second year pretty much plotting to be the D&A professor. This should be interesting to read about as you have him going through Hogwarts.

Must move on.

Author Response

What can I say?  You hit it on the head, we have only barely scratched the surface of the mystery of Hogwarts.  Authors will be filling those tomes for years as they write about them.

He has ambition big enough for twelve people his size and the ego to try to achieve it.

What an interesting chapter. Who is this mysterious Sarah? I'm thinking that might also be someone who's also involved somehow with the magical world. But so far your not giving much away.

I can't wait to see what you have in store for Mrs Cole at the hands of Tom.

By the way the Anon review in your last chapter is from me. For some reason my phone logged me out.

Author Response

Sarah?  Sarah?  Oh, yeah, her, she is another plot hook to keep things going.  

The sky is the limit as far as the Tom/Mrs. Cole thing goes.

Thanks for the heads up, it had me wondering

Hi again

Once again another wonderfully well written chapter.

I think that the person who pushed the note under Toms door was Sarah. She's a bit of a puzzle. But if she's a witch I wonder how she's escaped detection? But no doubt you'll tell all in good time.

I think it'll be a big mistake for Mrs Cole to ship Tom off to another orphanage. And I wonder what Tom will do about it?

Must move on.

Author Response

I love mysteries and this chapter was meant to set one up.  There is a lot more to Sarah than meets the eye.  Tom will deal with this as he has so many things-with nastiness

Nicely done with this chapter. Just when I thought you couldn't go any further with the punishments that Tom meters out to people you pull something new out of the hat. Once again you descriptiveness comes shining through. 

On one hand I felt sorry for Mrs Cole but then I think of all the nasty and underhanded stuff she done then I'm on Toms side.

Great chapter and moving on.

Author Response

Yay! Another member of Team Tom!  She really is not a very nice person.  If you read Dark Beginnings you see Tom for a year prior to him starting at Hogwarts.

That story shows us just exactly what he is capable of.

Sarah has got to be magical.

And Cole is being stupid once again and I reckon she has two enemies in the form of Tom and possibly Sarah as well.

Must move on.

Author Response

Yup!  It only keeps getting worse for her

Ok. The magical part (where Sarah was concerned) I guessed correctly, but being half Veela, that one I never expected.

So now that the two have teamed up together I reckon there's going to be a lot of new things happening at Hogwarts.

Once again you keep throwing in the unexpected and long may it continue.

Moving on.

Author Response

Thanks for the continued reading of my work and the kind reviews.  I do read them and take them into account when planning a chapter.  You would not believe how many chapters (and thus stories) have been dramatically changed by reader input.

Wow, what a brilliant chapter.

I wonder if there's a real legend concerning the Veela or was it a made up name by J K?

What a dramatic ending to this chapter and what will happen now to Sarah now that her true appearance is revealed?

Must move on.

Author Response

You will have to read on to find that out and the repercussions of it.  It will shake the lives of several of the people involved.

Hi again

Once again you've shown the great imagination that you have.

So Tom is going to see Salazar Slytherin again. I wonder what words of wisdom he'll impart?!?!

Please do update soon.

10/10 for the whole story so far.

Author Response

The visits with the founder have been a wonderful side story in my mind.  We really never got to hear anything from them in the books or films except in passing.  I wanted to bring at least one of them back to life and hear their words.

I am glad that you liked this.

Thanks for the kind reviews and, of course, the 10/10!

Well Evil Otter it saddens me that you might not continue this story because I've followed it and love your writing up to this point.

If you ever do come back you'll see that your wish has been granted and HPFF has indeed risen from the ashes.

This chapter was wonderfully written and I'd really love to see what you had planned for Tom's revenge on Molly & Carol.

Added to favs and begging you to update when you can.

Review posted 10/8/18

Author Response

Thanks for the very kind reviews of the chapters to this story.  

Actually, this story is very much alive and on the front burner now that my other series has been concluded.  There are several twists ahead for Tom, not the least of which is a new non-canon character that is going to make life interesting for everyone.

I have been looking forward to being able to post to my account, especially on this series.  I mean, we are only in Tom's second year and there are several to go before he leaves Hogwarts and moves on with what we know will become with his life.

Molly & Carol have become favorite non-canon characters of mine and will be around for a while.  

BTW-Since you like this story, please glance at the other two in my series on Tom-Dark Beginnings and Darkness Rising.  Dark Beginnings deals with Tom's life in the orphanage before he met Dumbledore and Darkness Rising is based on his first year at Hogwarts.

Thanks again for the reviews.  I will answer the others as well but, as a sensed a bit of pleading in your review, I decided to let you know that I am still around and writing.

Evil Otter

Reviews (23 found)

JOIN HARRY POTTER FANFICTION