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Reading Reviews for Shoulder to Shoulder
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SunshineDaisies Pankhurst, Vance

12th April 2017:
Hi :)

I know I already read this, but duty calls! Gotta make sure Hufflepuff gets that flag :)

Iím actually really glad Iím getting to review this for real this time, because it might be slightly more coherent than the squeals I sent you on twitter.

I cannot get over how beautiful this writing is. The colors! Such a gorgeous way to start this story. It gives the whole thing an ethereal sort of feel, and I think that works really well here. Itís like in the movies, and the whole scene slows down and the camera focuses on the protagonist. Very much like the moments where life flashes before your eyes right before death. And of course, it definitely seems like thatís what you were going for!

I really love the parallel/flashback type things to Emmelineís childhood learning about the other Emmeline. I really love the relationship between baby Emmeline and her grandmother too. I love that Emmeline has such a strong woman to look up to, and how it obviously affected her relationships with other women, especially in the order. Hooray for positive female relationships!

I love the ďDeeds, not words,Ē theme that runs throughout the piece as well. Itís very obvious thatís something Emmeline lives by, and that it was ultimately a big part of the reason she decided to join the order. In the action sequences especially, you can tell that Emmeline is very much the type to show her beliefs with her actions rather than her words.

Youíve really done an excellent job of characterizing Emmeline, even in what? 500 words? I honestly feel like sheís had an entire novelís worth of characterization; I definitely know her as well as I do with heroines at the end of novels. This sort of feels like the end of a novel, actually. (Iíd be super interested in reading that, btw)

Excellent, excellent work, just like everything else you write :)

katie.

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Review #2, by Dojh167 Pankhurst, Vance

12th April 2017:
Hufflepuff CtF Review


Minor characters + feminism? Iím here for this. Especially YOU WRITING AGAIN. Very here for that.

Wow, I donít think Iíve ever seen spells described so beautifully. What an opening!

I really like the tie in of the generations here. I feel like very often we see older generations lamenting that their successors take their struggles for granted/donít make the most of them, and I really like seeing it from the other side and seeing Emmeline being inspired by her grandmother.

I really like how youíve worked the two time periods together here. Often when I read a story with a flashback interrupting the action like this I think it takes me out of both periods, but these work really seamlessly together and very much enhance each other.

I really like the line ďshe knows, rather than feels, fear.Ē The rest of that paragraph is stunning as well, but those few words really captivated me.

This line is really good too: ďThe scene is surreal, a painting of a Greek tragedy rather than a quiet English town.Ē It does a great job of both establishing the mood and visualization without you having to spell anything out. The lineís primary purpose is mood, and secondarily it establishes the setting. Iím a big fan of multifaceted lines like that.

ďStrong women. Formidable. Gone.Ē Rude. Rude. Rude.

I am gonna pummel those sniggering nine year old boys. Is that not okay?

I think itís really adorable how Emmeline perks up at the mention of her name. I think anyone with a not super common name can relate to that and looking for personal connections to people with their same name and taking pride in them, and Iím sure itís more so for Emmeline for having been actually named after someone so notable.

I love that even as Emmaline is facing her death she is thinking of others, of strangers. And I also appreciate the way she tells herself that the impulse to yell at them to run is not necessarily the thing that would make them the most safe.

I was confused by what you meant by ďIf she doesnít see another of these encounters, she will do everything to ensure those Muggles can.Ē

The parallels here is really great - right after you wrote about how her dying grandmother inspired her so much, here she is about to die and thinking of the future generations. Ugh and then how they both die without seeing the future theyíre fighting for come to pass.

Again, rude.

Sam.

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Review #3, by Marshal Pankhurst, Vance

8th April 2017:
Seriously wow! I loved this, it was so powerful and amazing. I love how you wove in real history with the character. I love the women and girl power that you have produced here. I love the pride that Emmeline takes in her name, her heritage, her history and the meaning of her name.

I love how you wove the present time and the past into one story going back and forth. The way you described the flying spells was so unique making them like gems and jewels, su h an interesting imagery. I honestly loved this and it has made me love Emmeline Vance all the more as a character.

I also like how you described the battle here being her first and only defeat. It is heart breaking but speaks so much for her skills and ability. The sense of fighting for what is right that is woven into the whole story from the beginning to the end is amazing, I love the line about how women always have to fight and I think it is very true. Also your use of the actual quote from history of Deeds not words was uses nicely and you showed how Emmeline does deeds rather than speaking in this story as well. Honestly fantastic work and I think this will be a new favorite story for me!

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Review #4, by adluvshp Pankhurst, Vance

8th April 2017:
Aw, this was absolutely beautiful and made me tear up a little. I am not exaggerating because the concept itself was so beautiful. The idea of Emmeline being named after the british movement leader was brilliant and i loved how you played around with it to weave this lovely one-shot together. I love women fighters and the way you incorporated that here was amazing. The use of words and the overall writing style was also beautiful. "Emerald, amethyst, diamond." That itself was so powerful and visual and struck a chord. Using that to describe the lights and colors of the spells being fired was genius. The little snippets from her memories, particularly of her grandmother, were great additions and the brackets did not break the flow of the narrative at all. It all sounded very poetic, and then the grandma's last words totally touched my heart. How it inspires Emmeline to continue fighting and doing everything she can was superb and I really connected with her in such a short span of a one-shot. "The first and last she will lose." My god, this line. It says so much - it means she died and my poor heart cannot take it. Why could not she have won? Sigh. Nevertheless, she fought bravely and I raise my wand to her in respect. Really, this was a surreal and extremely well-written one-shot and I am so glad i got a chance to read it!

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Review #5, by magnifique11 Pankhurst, Vance

7th April 2017:
This is a short chapter but I really, really enjoy the way you juxtaposed everything in it! I think that the little bits within the parenthesis really added to what was going on and also gave it a more dreamlike quality as I was moving back and forth in the reading - but in a good way. My only suggestion would be maybe to italicize them instead/as well because it took me out of the story for a second as I realized that we'd skipped in time/place lol.

Emmeline seems like a really fascinating character though - and what a namesake! I'm just kind of mad this is only a one-shot :'D because the way it sets up feels like there should be a next chapter in my mind. But! As it stands I still really, really enjoyed it, I just want more of Emmeline and her story and who she was in relation to Marlene/Dorcas and the death eaters.

Thank you for sharing it! :)

-Julie

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Review #6, by crimson quill Pankhurst, Vance

7th April 2017:
Hello Sian!

So this is the first thing that I've read by you (which is so shocking!). I'm so impressed that you've not been writing for 9 months yet you've come up with this! it's like you've never been away.

What I love about this piece so much is how you've packed so much into this story with such a small word count. There is so much raw emotion in this story, I feel like I've seen Emmeline grow up in this fic, I've instantly bonded with the character you've created for her. she's rather amazing and even you get a sense of the person her grandma was.

I love how you've tied together the themes of strong women with the suffragette movement too. my favourite line was about 'dancing with death as though it is all a game' about her friends, it's so sad because I love the thought of the three friends kicking a*** together! It gives a real sense of the awesome fearless ladies they were.

The way you used the same words at the beginning and the end of the story works so well. it's almost poetic the way you've used it. you're clearly very gifted with the use of imagery. xx

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