Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for Fleeting
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dojh167 Fleeting

16th April 2017:
Hufflepuff CtF review

Oooh PE is Petunia Evans! I honestly couldnít figure out who the second person was in your JP/PE ship =P Alright, Iím interested.

I find Petunia to be an interesting character who is to simplified for my taste in canon, so I jump at the chance to read more complex versions of her in fan fiction, and youíve done that here.

Petunia thinks sheís not brave, but just the fact that she is able to make this trip in the first place is plenty brave in my opinion.

It seems clear that Petunia really cares about Lily despite their distance and conflicts, and it makes me sad that she is closer to Jame than to her own sister.

I find it interesting how long of a paragraph you dwell on Petuniaís thoughts about her shoes. Yu donít go into this much detail with other things, so it seems significant. Like Petunia thinks about this think in particular because itís something in her life connected to James, and that makes it important to her. And it also gives us a window into the minute way Petunia thinks about things.

Oh hey, I knew this little maybe emotional affair was going on when James was with Lily, but I didnít realize Petunia was with Vernon. Cheating all around, then.

I like the idea that James was chasing an uninterested Lily and found something better with Petunia, but the fact that he then ended up with Lily does kind of ruin that. I imagine Petunia would agree.

Oh hey, and James didnít know Petunia was getting married? This is going wellÖ

I am glad that James is owning up to his selfishness, though I would have liked to see a bit more of it in action, to see how he had been holding onto her beyond simply being told so.

ďif there is one thing in life I know how to do, itís come second to LilyĒ Oh my goodness that hurts and itís true (at least o how Petunia sees the world)

Signs you maybe shouldnít get married: ďShe was pretending to read the newspaper but really she would have one of Jamesí letters between the pages.Ē

Thereís a grammar issue in ďDuring the week he spend with herĒ

Omg and thatís what made James decide to marry Lily? Um yikes? In love fools are a train wreck.

You did a good job establishing chemistry and history between these two, and while I was not impressed by their personal choices, I think you did a good job with this story.

Sam.

Author's Response: This was something I was trying to write in a way that was quite realistic and in keeping with canon. The idea is that James and Petunia were both single when they had their little 'thing' but later became involved with Lily and Vernon while they were still writing to each other.

I think the love of James' life was always going to be Lily so he would always choose her because he wanted her for so long. I see it as he fall in love with petunia too but that love was never going to outweigh the love he had for Lily but Petunia always had a special place in his heart.

I used the shoes to show that James is part of petunia's fun side that the 'red shoes' represented fun and it's not something she thought she could do without James because she often lives her life in black/white.

I think that Petunia was probably not ready to marry Vernon but she felt it was the best thing to do to move on with her life, I think she liked that Vernon had always picked her when other people hadn't so she had a great deal of affection for him for that. She probably wasn't in love with him but I think she was probably pretty fond of him during their marriage.

xx



 Report Review

Review #2, by Ron 4 Hermione Fleeting

16th April 2017:
Hey there, here for CTF!

Well this is an interesting concept. I must admit I canít see Petunia and James together so this is going to be a strange read.

I bet it took her a lot of guts to even think about going, nevermind actually knock on the door. I like the little comment about those shoes, it was a nice touch to hint that they already know each other.

Oh, this is a fascinating backstory. Itís sad to hear that there parentís died although I suppose itís definitely most likely since they were muggles in that time. I canít tell if anything romantic happened between them though, or whether it was just a really close friendship/bond that occurred. Oh, never mind lol.

I would have been surprised if heíd tried to stop her, he doesnít seem like the type. But I can understand why he feels like he should hold on to her, sheís the only other person with ties to Lily so itíll be hard to let her go.

I love how you tied this up, thatís such a sweet quote at the end. I canít tell if Harry is alive but I guess not. I canít say youíve converted me to James/Petunia, but it was a nice one-shot to read and youíve written it really well!

- Shaza :)

Author's Response: Thanks for your lovely comments! It's unusual ship so I didn't expect the convert any one but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

This one-shot is set in December 1978 so around 6 months after their 7th year at Hogwarts has finished. Harry isn't born until 1980 so it's a year in the future from this one-shot that Lily will find out she's pregnant. James and Lily weren't a couple when James and Petunia had their 'thing'. I imagine it was also slightly before she met Vernon too. Just to clear up :) xx


 Report Review

Review #3, by SunshineDaisies Fleeting

13th April 2017:
So I have to admit, I was very skeptical in opening this story. James and Lily are my OTP, times like a million. End all be all life long OTP. It PAINS me to read about them with other people.

That said, I was very pleasantly surprised. You've set this up in a truly realistic way, so it wasn't too much of a stretch of the imagination. It makes perfect sense that James would tag along with his father in an attempt to comfort Lily. It makes sense that Petunia would be there and would be distraught enough to ask a kind stranger to stay and comfort her. And traumatic times like that are pretty prime time for falling in love. It's like, heightened adrenaline or something. And of course, James, being James, would keep in contact with Petunia no matter what, because he is a kind, wonderful person, but the fact that he ended up liking, even loving her, makes it even more realistic.

Your characterization of Petunia is so spot on. A lot of times Petunia gets written as a shrill, cold person. It's always nice to see a softer side of her, and I think you did that without disconnecting from the character established by Rowling in the books. And really, you just gave her ANOTHER reason to treat Harry badly and to hate magic. First it stole her sister, then it stole her love, then it forced her to take care of the baby her sister had with her love. That's intense.

I like how you described their relationship playing out. It was simple and sweet, and it tells this solid truth, that true love doesn't necessarily have to last a lifetime. Sometimes it just lasts for a moment.

Beautiful story, even for a die-hard James/Lily shipper!

katie

Hufflepuff CtF

Author's Response: awh!

I'm so glad you came to jailbreak B. this is so lovely to read especially with you being a die hard Lily/James shipper! I'm very fond of them too which is why I didn't want to totally ruin Lily and James in this one-shot as I knew I was taking a risk of people hating this pairing so I'm glad it's gone down well. I'm tried to play it in a realistic way as possible. I'm really chuffed with all your comments! thank you, ctf has made this fic get a lot of love. :) xo


 Report Review

Review #4, by victoria_anne Fleeting

13th April 2017:
Hello Abigail, my dear!

I've never read this pairing before, but I have heard of it. I knew I was excited over this challenge for a reason!

Ah, if Petunia was a witch. That's my favourite 'What if?' Her and James probably would have gotten along. Eventually.

I love that you've written that Petunia chose to accept the term 'Muggle' because it's the only thing that made her feel strong. That's very powerful, because I can understand how she would be feeling when she has Lily, a talented witch, as a sister. Petunia has to find something to hold on to.

Ooh they've been writing to each other! Sneaky sneaky! It's sad that grief brought them together, but I can totally understand that :( (But wah - the Evans' killed by Death Eaters!)

I like how you included little things that show how close they are, like him knowing how she has her tea.

Ouch, coming second to Lily in the boy department too :( How are you making me feel sorry for Petunia?!

I think you did an amazing job with the pairing you were given, Abi, it can't have been easy! Good luck in the challenge! :D

Author's Response: B!

Aren't I the lucky one for you to be reviewing my work!? I love your reviews!

I wrote this for a challenge but I chose the pairing in fact. I really liked the randomness of the pairing so I wanted to see if I could come up with something that would work for them without going to far from canon. I'm really pleased to see it looks like it has worked! you're such a sweetie! :) xo


 Report Review

Review #5, by Felpata Lupin Fleeting

5th April 2017:
Hey, Abigail! Hello! :)
I decided to check your AP. It's nice to explore other people's writing just for the fun of it from time to time, I definitely don't do that enough... anyway...

I saw this and I couldn't resist, I love Marauders so much. Plus, this sounded like such an interesting pairing...

I loved this! Like, Siriusly! Definitely puts Tuney and all her choices and behaviour under a new light.

I loved the bond between them, I loved all the feelings. I can see how Petunia would fall for James' spontaneity and for his humour and his... whatever it is that makes James so special. And it's so lovely that he could break through her defences and discover a side of her that is so rarely shown, and how he admired her for her strenght and how he could see the beauty in her and love both sisters equally. I mean, it's sad, but it's so sweet at the same time.

I do have a little CC for you. I think the grammar wasn't perfect, there were a couple of times when you didn't use the right tenses and sometimes the structure of your sentences seemed a bit weird... anyway there weren't any major mistakes, so no worries! ;)

Everything else was really good. The plot, the pace, the dialogue. I really loved it all, I'm so happy I happened arross this!

Good luck for the challenge! And many hugs to you!
Chiara

Author's Response: Heyy!

Thanks for the review! It was so sweet of you! I'm really pleased with this story! I really like james/petunia as a pairing but I really don't like betraying James/Lily.

I agree with you about the grammar in my writing. I have dyslexia as it's something I really struggle with in writing but I do love to write. I need to improve or at least get a beta. So I'm very aware that it's an issue, I'm going to go through to try edit when I get the chance.

I'm really happy with your comments about plot/dialogue.

Thanks for stopping by! √ʬ̬§


 Report Review

Review #6, by Unicorn_Charm Fleeting

4th April 2017:
Hey Dear! Here for CTF!

This was incredibly sad. Everything from the weather to the conversation between James and Petunia was just incredibly bleak. I like the premise of the two of them having a brief relationship before James and Lily got together. It gives a whole new layer to the dislike that Petunia had for her sister. It's very interesting.

I also have the headcanon that Mr. and Mrs. Evans were killed by Death Eaters when they were still young. It makes sense, because Harry most likely would have gone to live with his grandparents rather than Petunia otherwise. And I'm sure they were too young to die of natural causes, being that Lily and Petunia were only in their early 20ís when Harry was orphaned.

It's also really sad that Petunia met and developed the relationship with James because of her parents dying. I felt really sympathetic towards Petunia, which is rare for me. Between losing her parents, losing James to Lily, and once again feeling second best, it made me want to hug her. And especially because she's marrying a man that she doesn't really seem to love. It's such a raw deal in life.

James truly did seem to care for her, but a part of me can't help to be angry with him for going from one sister to another. If he had feelings for Lily beforehand, he should have never let himself get involved with Petunia. Bad James. No wonder Petunia turned out to be so bitter. Anyone would have after all of that.

This was incredibly sad, yet an enjoyable read. I'd love to see more James/Petunia. It's a rare pairing, but one I'd really like to read. Good job!

xoxo Meg

 Report Review

Review #7, by Marshal Fleeting

4th April 2017:
James and Petunia - such an odd an interesting ship. Not something I thought could work and yet here you have it. You have made it work, made it believable and I like it. I have never been overtly fond of Petunia as a character but you made her so real and likable here.

What you have here is a real relationship here and I love how you tied in the title of the story into the prose. I like how you kept things canon as well with your story. I love when people take something that isn't canon and weave it into the canon. You did a fantastic job here.

Also with your writing, you have kind of made me almost ship James and Petunia, it would be interesting to see what their relationship would be/have been if things continued forward in a non-canon fashion. Too bad in some ways we'll never see what happens between James and Petunia as she is getting married and tomorrow and James will soon ask Lily to marry him. Makes you wonder what caused James to pick Lily over Petunia and Petunia pick Veron over James so to speak. Still great story, I would love to see more like it.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login