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Reading Reviews for Into the Light
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DossyVilja The Last Word

21st March 2017:
Hi :) here I am to re-review (or better to review another chapter ;-))

Tantrum and fake tears - so realistic, hehe :)

I like the sudden change when they are attacked, I think it is much less 'forced' that in the first chapter when the little girl gets lost. It reads great here, that they are bothered by the press, and then suddenly they have something more severe to be bothered about. Also Patti becoming hysterical is great, I can totally imagine it, that she cannot control her emotions in a moment like this.

Harry appearing in the story suddenly, feels to me just like when Malfoy appeared in the first chapter - it seems a little bit forced, but as you said there, it's probably not just introducing one of the main characters, so I'm waiting to find out it's significance :) In fact the scene where he and Teddy get gifts already gives some meaning to Harry's appearance. And also I see you end the chapter with Harry being emotional, that fits to the story.

I like very much the description of Kaspar treating Kingsley's wound. I think you got that perfect. They way he works, the way he talks about small things - I can totally imagine that he wants Kingsley distracted and this talking nonsense is just about that, and yet he says important little things.

Oh, and Sirius Black comes into the picture. I'm so intrigued by this part! I was looking for the line "innocent until proven guilty" but could not find it in any book. Is this something that actually happened (I mean in canon) or was this your invention? It would be so good to know more about this, how this came to the story, how she remembered precisely that.

It's also interesting the way you talk about religion. We practically know nothing about religion in the HP books. There is a surprising lack of common Christian names such as John and Mary (although an exception is the middle name of Remus Lupin, but he and other exceptions are muggle-born or have at least one muggle parent). But they celebrate Christian fests such as Christmas, although we never hear of anyone going to the church, and e.g. the wedding of Bill and Fleur is also not in a church (I would imagine that if some wizarding families are religious, the Wesleys would be that). But JKR hinted on twitter that all religions are represented in Hogwarts, so this could mean that there are religious wizards. But I always imagined that Muggle religion and wizard religion are separate (even if both are Christian for example), as wizards tend to be so separated from Muggles - e.g. this is the reason, as stated by JKR, why wizards cannot keep a track of Muggle clothing fashion. Anyway, you again made me think of this issue, and what I'm writing are just personal thoughts, fanfiction does not even have to comply with canon :)

I enjoyed this chapter too, thanks for the re-request :) I will take a break now, but will probably continue then to the next chapter as well.

Author's Response: Yeah, this gets lengthy and rather involved. I've walked away from it at the moment, too. Or maybe I've finished it? I don't know.


There is actually a line in Prisoner of Azkaban (and if they didn't put this in the movie, shame on them) where Professor Dumbledore decides the notion of "innocent until proven guilty". I think in that case, he's actually referring to Remus? But the same. He says that.


I am not a religious person. I do not aim to be religious, but don't know, Kingsley popped into my head as a Catholic. So I wrote him that way. It's interesting that you would argue they would be separate. There is nothing inherently magical about religion; I see them practicing it together without the Muggles aware of it or caring. What do I know?

Intersting thought.

I don't insert, or rather, I try not to name drop in my own writing because I hate that the connections might seem forced. There is a reason that I would insert or not insert a Harry Potter or a Draco Malfoy in my nieces. Harry is actually inserted or appears - I should say appears - in every chapter of this fic. I'm still cleaning it up.

Thank you for the review
.


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Review #2, by crimson quill Into the Prophet

17th March 2017:
So, another review. woo.

So, where to start? the beginning obviously! So I enjoyed the name drop of Penelope Clearwater, I imagine her doing that job totally. I just like the link up with canon for that.

I love your portryal of what a family man that Kingsley is when he mentions not wanting to leave Rachelle with nannies.

So I lovelovelove the reference to Kingsley's clothing and being particular about it. I just love to think this is a character trait of his. it's such a little detail but I really enjoyed it. he's always dressed in lots of colours and quite out there in the movies so I rather enjoy the fact that he loves his clothing/style so much so that he's grumpy at his own wife for not treating his clothes right. he he.

I save politicians from hanging themselves, Miss Skeeter, whilst you weave that lovely noose. You destroy the people. - this is so delicious dark!!

so basically, we have to talk about Patti now. she is the star of the story so far. she's so fierce, she's a mama on a mission. I love how sassy she was in the scene with Rita Skeeter (spot on characterisation for her btw). Patti is so strong willed, I love the feisty characterisation for her. I totally see where Patti/Kingsley relationship is at. Kingsley obviously obsessed with her because she's sexy and challenges him in all areas of life. they're a perfect match, they both need to be with strong and intelligent people. So I lovelovelove that.

I thought the scenes with Lestrange was really interesting, very tense. it worked well. you tend to do long scenes as I counted this chapter is basically 3 long scenes. you've really fleshed out those scenes and developed them. which is very impressive.

the little thing which you could do is to separate the scenes out with a little '***' or a page break to make clear where the scenes end which will just help with the readability of the chapter especially as your chapters have such a big word count at the moment (which is great)

xx

Author's Response: Crimson Quill


Sorry that I haven't gotten back to you. You like Patti as a character? That's awesome! I crafted her along time ago and she was inspired my a cousin who shares that name. Patricia is a strong family name. I will look into chapter breaks to make those flow better.


Thanks for the review.

LSC


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Review #3, by lovegood27 The Last Word

14th March 2017:
Alrighty, I'm here for another review! :)

Haha, I loved Rachelle's excitement about Christmas! I know I can definitely sympathise with her eagerness to unwrap the presents, and it wasn't too over-the-top, especially since she's only 3.

Assassination attempt? THAT was unexpected. I have to admit I was more worried for Patti than I was about Kingsley (am I a bad human?) But what was really heart-warming was the fact that Kingsley's first concern was about his family and not him. It shows what kind of person he is, and emphasises him being a sort of family person. I was slightly confused on what was going on? Okay, I knew there was some sort of attack going on but I found the descriptions of what Kingsley was feeling little vague. It makes sense now that I've gone back and read it but I wouldn't really have guessed he had been shot with an arrow, and there wasn't really a clear indication of how Patti had been hurt. But I just have those two comments :)

I have no clue why this stuck out to me, but I LOVE your names. Rachelle, Patti...Amarie! The last one was definitely my favourite. I can't seem to explain why, it just really fits and doesn't sound odd if you say Amarie Shacklebolt. And the part about Barnabas stealing her made me laugh- it's nice how you show not all reporters are horrible, particularly since we became rather biased against them in the books. I wonder whose fault that was...*cough* Rita Skeeter.

And this was the end. I think you did a good job wrapping it up, I felt satisfied with the story and the ending didn't seem too abrupt. Especially the quote "they parted ways" at the end, I just really liked that. It's a perfect way to end the story and also the type of ending I feel even JKR herself might write.

I think this was a lovely story, believable and well written. I have loads more thoughts on this but if I voiced them all this review would basically never end. Sorry if this review isn't very well strung together; I'm rather sleep deprived at the moment and can only be bothered with reviewing as I read :P But I did enjoy reading about Kingsley. Like I probably said before, it's not very common and a lot would fit into canon given his minor role. Great job- thanks for the request :D

~lovegood27 xx

Author's Response: Sorry that I haven't responded to this. I meant to answer yesterday and got rather sidetracked. Sorry. Yeah, I'm desperately trying to keep this interesting as JKR adds to her plot and keeps things going at a pace. That's hard ... harder than I would've thought as you have to stay within your story while staying in your story, you know?

So, the assassination attempt? I knew I was going to write that the moment I chose Kingsley as a character. The reason his view is so broken and not that coherent? That's because he's in shock and rather going in and out of out of it himself.

Patti herself was never hurt. She leaned on him as thus got blood on her clothing. You are right that that should have been clearer.

Barnabas. I meant to show that all writers are not all Skeeter; I did that on promise and your comment made me laugh. A lot. The names? Like JKR, I research names before giving them to my characters. Amarie means something having to stand up against adversity. To me, especially when he becomes Minister, that is Kingsley.


Glad you like it. The newspaper lift scene? I tried to mirror JKR there.


Thanks for the review.

LSC.


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Review #4, by Carla The Last Word

13th March 2017:
It is an interesting story line...Please continue.love reading stories about the events after the war.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like this. I will most definitely continue. The next chapter should be posted soon.

Thanks for reading. I'm glad you like it.

Thanks for the review.

LSC


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Review #5, by DossyVilja Into the Light

10th March 2017:
Hi :) Here with your review - thanks for requesting. I will definitely read further to the next chapter, and I think that already says that I liked this one. Nothing cathartic, nothing much extraordinary - but overall a decent story that flaws well and that one can like.

I couldn't get this part:
would a man die of starvation or thirst first?
Starvation
There is water in food
What did you mean with this? Maybe it's just me, but this was strange and couldn't figure out the meaning. I get that it should be something about twisting the fact that one can live more without food than water so that would make thirst the answer (if you get no food and no water), but then if you get food you don't die of thirst as there is water in the food (but then again you don't die of starvation either, as you have the food...) I know it's just a detail, I'm merely curious about the riddle

You mention a lunch with the Minister for muggles and then say quite a few things about him, I wonder why you didn't write anything characteristic of Tony Blair. Not that he needs to be in your story, but I think if you decide to tie to the muggle world you can use it to give credibility to your story by giving hints of what we know to be real about the PM in May 1998.

I like that we get a glimpse into Kingsley's private life. He is an important character as Minister for magic, yet his era is kind of skipped and we can't really get to know him in Rowling's work.

The middle part (when they punch each other at the start of training) seems a little too long to me. That would usually not be a problem (and it might be important later on), but since your chapter is anyway quite long, I thought you might consider shortening this part. I mean, as this is a multi-chaptered fic, it's hard for me to say if this will have importance later, but for now it seemed too long for me.

What I think was really great is how you tie your story into canon despite the fact that practically nothing is known about the time this story takes place. My favourite is Kingsley getting Remus' suitcase. It is a perfect mention for Potterwatch (and it's great that it appeared also earlier when McGonagall quoted it) and to credit a deceased member of the Order of Phoenix (Lupin of course). To me this suitcase is a symbol of Lupin as this is the first thing we see of him when he travels onboard the Hogwarts express in PA.

There are so many details that leave me intrigued. Kingsely reading the Quibbler for example. It just makes me wonder how this journal turned out to be after the war. It had an important role in exposing Harry's story when noone else did, but then it gave in to the Voldemort regime. And we all remember it not to be a very reliable source before. So how is it now? I'm hoping to get an answer at some point later on.

Rachelle disappearing caught me by surprise, it was kind of a weird change in the story, and from this moment on it's like a completely different tale. I also liked some parts of this, for example at the very beginning when we see how Kingley hold a dying girl that is very powerful. I'm not sure if Draco Malfoy returning the girl was a good choice. To me it seemed more like forcing another major HP character into this chapter. But then again, this might be important in later chapters.

Overall, as I said, I want to keep reading :)

Author's Response: Interesting. The riddle. I meant for that to be a double edged sword depending on how one got out of the problem. I cannot believe you caught that. I threw off my beta, and then I asked her to read it. I've never gotten an "Oh!" from her before. The point is that Kingsley needed to find a starting point. No matter which point he started it affected other places or departments. A domino effect.


I appreciate that you like that small details. The boxing scene is long; thos chapter itself is too long. It shall be edited. The mood of the story did change.

I did not choose Draco Malfoy simply as a name drop. Here's the thing. Draco changes as a man for Cursed Child. I would argue Malfoy changes in the sixth book. I wanted to show that and Draco does appear as an alchemist later on. Draco is not a bad man; he was a aheltered child who knew nothing about nothing. Again, that's an opinion He was an arrogant mouthpiece for his arrogant, ignorant, hateful father.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for the review. LSC


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Review #6, by lovegood27 Into the Light

9th March 2017:
LunaStellaCat's review

Hey! Here with your requested review :)

Okay, so I thought it was quite interesting to read a story from Kingsley's point of view, as he isn't THAT important and we don't really get a sense of his character very much. I really like the idea of the Weasley twins being the ones who inspired Kingsley to run for Minister of Magic, even if they had just been joking. It reminds me of "Moody" being the one who encouraged Harry to become an Auror, which he did.

Aw, Kingsley has a wife and daughter! I found that so sweet. What's nice is that we barely find out anything about Kingsley in the books, so it potentially fits canon. I never really pictured him to be the marrying type, but I think you made it work really well here.

Omg, I loved the "That man just picked his nose" quote! It's so characteristic of Ron to be so open with no regards to politeness about it. It had me laughing way too hard ;D (Mature, I know)

It was a good idea to write about Rachelle going missing. It added another reason for me to keep reading, and makes sure readers don't grow bored. I was panicking that she would be dead or something, but I think your conclusion to the problem was very satisfying, and I know I would never have thought of the idea of Draco finding her. I love how you portrayed him as quite caring of Rochelle, showing the soft side of him but also still keeping his character like we know in the books ("Shut up, Potter"- there are way too many good lines in this chapter)

One thing I think you could have done, however, was to maybe split the chapter in half. 8000 words is a bit of a stretch and there were plenty of breaks in this chapter when you could halve it. That's just my opinion, though.

But overall, I enjoyed reading this a lot. There was plenty of dialogue to keep me interested (it's just my preference) and you ended it on a lovely note. Great job- thanks for the request :)

~lovegood27 xx

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I am glad that you like characters and the hint about Ron. Funnily enough that line was a mistake but I found it funny when you pointed that out. Its nice that you like the family angle. And I appreciate the kidnapping. Yeah, I see strength in Draco since the sixth book so there was a reason, given he changes in the Cursed Child I did that. Thanks for the review. Hope you keep reading.

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Review #7, by crimson quill Into the Light

8th March 2017:
Hello!

I'm here to do your requested review!

So I've never read much from this era but it's refreshing to read outside my 'comfort' zone I guess so I'm pleased this was requested. I think the character of Kingsley is so interesting in the books so I really enjoyed your imagining of him, all the detailing was great. Seeing him as a family man is not something I would have associated with him but you write it well so it totally works.I just loved Draco's role in the story.

Words meant nothing, absolutely nothing, until someone placed meaning behind them - I lovelovelove this quote.

good job with this! I'm glad I got to read something a bit different. I'm not sure if this is a one-shot or not? it says 'completed' but I thought you said this was the first chapter? so a bit confused by that! It seems to work as both one-shot or as part of a bigger story though. xx

Author's Response: Hey crimsonquill

Thanks for the review. I am glad that you liked my spin on Kingsley. I just kind of started crafting him this way. The piece is more than a one-shot. I suppose I need to update that, huh? I had meant it was one and kept writing this thing. I am glad that you like that quote. It kind of just rolled onto paper. 😝 And Draco? Yeah my beta gave me that idea. I love his part, too. Glad you liked it. Hope you come back for more.

Thanks for the review,

LSC


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