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Reading Reviews for Blush
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BBHP team cupid

29th August 2017:
Poor Lettie! It's like she gets drugged every time Louis uses his power.

I've really been enjoying this story! Looking forward to the next chapter.

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Review #2, by Marie team cupid

10th July 2017:
Please update! This is so good!!

Author's Response: Hey! Aw, thank you! I've got a couple of other writing projects on at the moment but at the end of the month then I should be able to have some more time to get the chapter finished as it's been half finished for a while! Thank you for this cute review! Xo

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Review #3, by Anna team cupid

10th July 2017:
Amazing story!😁

Author's Response: Thank you! I need myself together so I can do the next chapter. This made me smile. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #4, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage the power

27th April 2017:
Here for CTF!

You fell right in the middle of it with it dind't you? I do like it though, seeing a character distraught right away and only later on findin gout what exactly happened, while also finding out things about her character and those around her anyway. I also like that you use descriptions other characters have of others too, like that Mia calls Cash grumpy and Cash calls herself a realist. it makes it all the more gripping and real and even more like a real friendship.
I do get the feeling that Lettie is a tiny bit dramatic though. But then again, she does come off as a complete teenager, embarrassement and obsessions included, and considering it's been a while since I was that age, it seems really well done regardless.
I also love the fact that you made Louis and Dominique twins, because it's not something I see quite often. The differences between the two are obviously highlighted too and I love the fact that she's actually trying to help and tries not to get them go to Louis, even though she didn't manage to stop them in the end. It seems like shes a character everyone wants to be friends with, which also fits with her popularity, and it's a very nice touch to see that people can be popular and not be cruel (cause sometimes they absolutely are). Well done!

Author's Response: Hey!

It does go straight into the action which might be a bit unusual without too much build up but a lot of the story is told through flashbacks which fills in the blanks of what has come before.

I'm glad you picked up on the girls friendship, it's something that I really wanted to present well. It's obviously a romance but the friendship aspect was really important for me to get right and highlight!

Lettie is totally a drama queen, at this point in the story she's basically a fairy princess. she's a total idealist/dreamer/romantic but that's just her nature. the events of this story help her develop as a person. I'm really pleased you enjoyed her characterisation.

honestly, I made Louis/Dom for twins for a reason but I can't really remember why, something to do with their ages. I think I wanted Dom to be in the same year as Lettie or something. I know Dom is older in canon but it's artistic licence or something. Dom is a nice character, she's got pretty pure intentions. :)

It was lovely to receive your ctf review, lucky me! xo


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Review #5, by merlins beard the power

27th April 2017:
Hey Abbi! Iím here for a CTF Review to try and find the flag. I so hope itís hiding in here so I can go to sleep 😉
Yep I have been that embarrassed. (like, daily)
Wow poor Lettie, sheís got a really rough life here. Her friends arenít being very helpful, are they?
She sure knows how to pick her literary exampes Ė I donít particularly want to be part of either of those couples.
I get the feeling that Lettie rambles on a lot Ė at least thatís what I gather from the way you write this. If this is on purpose: I command you. If not, maybe throw in some more periods.
Well this changes things Ė Veela Power shouldnít be used like that. I quite agree with fleur there. Dominique is pretty awesome for talking to Lettie and telling her about it!!! Iím very impressed with that maturity and responsibility. (and quite annoyed at Louis because in my headcanon heís adorable and sweet). I get that he might want to use his power, but using it to continuously make someone else embarrass themselves on purpose is really really unfair.
Wow I feel a little breathless now. Lettie sure reacts quickly. I do have a couple of things I want to point out before I leave.
You should add a few commas here and there Ė maybe find a beta if youíre not sure how to use them the right way. It would make this story even better (itís already pretty awesome tho) if youíd add a bit more description here and there Ė smooth the edges, connect the dots. Think about all the senses when writing Ė what does your MC see? Feel? Touch? Smell? Hear? What do the surroundings look like?
I hope this is the flag story so I can just continue reading. Itís very cute and I really want to know what happens next.
Xoxo Anja

Author's Response: Hello!

firstly, I'm sorry that it wasn't the flag story but very happy to have you here!

Lettie does tend to ramble a lot. she's quite scatty really but I probably do need to review the pause breaks. Louis is adorable but not in this chapter for sure. I think it'll be clear what his intentions are soon, I'm a bit in love with this Louis though he's pretty flawed.

Re CC: I'm really pleased you managed to get some CC into this review. I agree with the points you've raised here. I need some extra help with grammar for sure, I'm working a bit more now with a few people who are kindly helping me with this aspect of my writing. you've given some good advice in regards to description, thank you :) xx



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Review #6, by nott theodore the power

2nd April 2017:
Abbi! Hello! I thought it was about time you also got some love for all your hard work in the CTF game (and also just because I like reading my friends' stories).

Anyway, I really enjoyed this first chapter! I already really like Lettie, and I was sympathising with her from the very start of the chapter, because really, who needs that much embarrassment when it's the start of the school term? Especially since it turns out that the embarrassment wasn't her fault, but Louis was actually causing her to be embarrassing (more on that later).

One thing I really liked was the way that you introduced the little details about her, like her love of pink coconut ice - not just mentioning it, but her friends giving it to her to cheer her up. I think that was a great way of showing the depth of the friendship between these three girls, too, since they clearly know each other very well. I liked the dialogue between them, too. It made me laugh that they didn't really try to comfort Lettie too much, or lie to her about how embarrassing she'd been. I think it really shows how close they are when friends do that.

(Also, as a side note, I would like to second Lettie's comment about nobody ever remembering all the good things that you do. Everyone just remembers the silly and embarrassing things. I feel her pain.)

There were a couple of things I noticed here that just took away a little bit from how smoothly the rest of the chapter read, like some run-on sentences. They're only tiny things which are easy to fix, though. If you want a hand looking over it or anything, feel free to ask :)

I thought it was really good of Dom to tell Lettie that Louis had been using his powers on her, which is why Lettie's been doing so many embarrassing things around Louis. Her reasoning behind telling her, and not using the powers herself, are really believable, and I'm glad she said something. I also like how defensive and protective of Lettie her friends became when they heard, because it really isn't okay.

I'm not sure if this is going to become a Louis/OC story in the future, but I'd definitely be interested in seeing what his explanation for using his powers on Lettie is, especially since he can control them... there's going to be a lot of explaining for him to do - if he can get anywhere near Lettie without Cash hitting him again, that is :P

I really enjoyed this first chapter, and I'll try and get back soon to read more chapters of this!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian!

I lovelovelove this review. you're such a sweetheart!

I'm glad you liked the interaction between the girls as I really want their friendship to be part of the story as well as a romantic aspect of it which will obviously feature. I look forward to your reviews in the future and to see how you like the character development etc..

I'll tweet you about a bit of extra help with grammar issues! you're the best! xo


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Review #7, by scintillated captain potter

24th February 2017:
i really liked this chapter! i'm so glad that we get to see why louis did what he did, and now, i sympathize with him so much more :) can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: thank you so much! I've very pleased the reactions. I can't wait to write more, I'm doing quite a bit of Lettie/Louis interaction in the next chapter soon. Louis isn't a bad person but he's handling his emotions terribly like most blokes! so pleased to receive your review xo

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Review #8, by RubyEyes123 captain potter

20th February 2017:
Hi
I've been reading this story since the beginning and so far It is going great, I love the story idea and the plot line so far. Keep up the good work and update as soon as possible. Great Story!!
--RubyEyes123

Author's Response: aww, thank you so much for reviewing! I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this! hopefully you'll like the next chapter, I better get my skates on writing it then! thank you so much again! :) xx

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Review #9, by loverofcolours captain potter

20th February 2017:
keep them coming! please update asap

Author's Response: thank you so much for your review! so pleased that you're enjoying this! I've noticed that you've reviewed before too, I'm really chuffed that you liked it enough to review more than once! I'll try not to keep you waiting too long! lovely people like you keep me going! :) xo

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Review #10, by scintillated the party

10th February 2017:
this is great!! i really like it a lot, and i cannot wait for the next chapter. fingers crossed that louis will finally get to explain himself!!

Author's Response: yay! i'm glad you're enjoying it so far! I'm working on chapter 3 at the moment. there will be plenty of time for Louis to explain himself! xo

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Review #11, by scintillated the power

10th February 2017:
haha this is really nice! i've never read a story where ~the veela power~ really comes into play so i'm excited to see where this goes :)

Author's Response: thanks for your review! I'm looking forward to this too! it's an idea that's been in my head for a while so I thought it was time to tell it. :) X

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Review #12, by loverofcolours the power

8th February 2017:
please write more! love it

Author's Response: hi!

I'm glad you've enjoyed the first chapter! I've just put 2nd chapter in the queue so won't be too long before you see this story pop up again! :)

thanks for your support xx


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Review #13, by blackzero the power

7th February 2017:
Interesting storyline. Veela Superpower

Author's Response: I've had this idea for a while so I decided to finally write it out! hopefully you'll like how it progresses!

thanks for reviewing :) xx


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