2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Potterhead1994 Centaurs and More Trauma

8th February 2017:
Wow, this was really amazing. I like the recklessness that Seamus holds. How you portray him and Micheal (though Michael was a small character). You've done an amazing job. I can't wait for Part Two.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much. I love your work.

I set out to make Seamus as unpleasant as possible, so I'm amazed and grateful that you liked it.

The end of part two is all I've written, unrevised, so if you have suggestions for future chapters or edits, I would love to hear them.

Thanks for reading :)


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Review #2, by PaulaTheProkaryote Of Acromantula and Angst

25th January 2017:
Hi lovely!

OoOh! I saw this on the feed the other day and thought it would look good so I'm even more excited to be here!

I like the introductory paragraphs a lot because we get a lot of explanations about where we are in this story that isn't too much "pretty writing" (I'm pretty sure there's an actual word for it, but idk what it is). You know the one though. Like when people spend three paragraphs describing a clock tower that has absolutely no relevance to the plot or general story. I'm a big fan of straight to the point writing.

You've got a lot of good details tucked in here like newt scores, order of merlin, how Jamie is surviving post-war, and a certain love interest. It's really well set up.

I like that there was this great war proposal like that because it seems to directly contrast the entire Ron/Hermione Chamber of Secrets romance gesture. I love contrasts. Not every war fueled grand gesture will have a happily ever after.

I think when you're upset you should always go back to wherever you call home because it brings an innate comfort. For him, it's his parents' house in the middle of nowhere. That entire paragraph I'm picture a montage of skipping stones in the lake and sighing. (and not giggling at Jamie's misfortune).

My favorite line: "The stars were dancing in the cold air outside my bubble and there was no noise apart from the occasional, complaining cow in the distance."

Oh my god, I love it. Yes, take classic legends and turn them into beautiful works for me to read! Such a clever idea!

Oh, no! That's got to be the worst job in the history of bad jobs! Are you going to kill Jamie in chapter two? Is that what this is!?

YOU KILLED FANG! :( How am I supposed to continue living knowing that sweet, slobbering Fang is gone!? Although to be fair he was getting old. Poor Hagrid.

I like Jamie being a hard negotiator. It definitely adds a lot of interest to the character!

I can't wait to see what actually dealing with the spiders will be like! I'm a biologist (of the molecular variety though) so if you find yourself in need of any particular details on spiders or biological control, I'm only a pm away!

Author's Response: Thanks for the great review!

I always promised myself I would never kill the dog in any story - it's a cheap shot.

But this is a story about mortality, and Jamie is sliding steadily to despair, so I took a cheap shot.

Sorry!


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