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Reviews (3 found)

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This is quite cute. This is now canon for me. It actually happened

Author Response

Aw thank you! This was one of the first fics I ever wrote- it's far from perfect but I did try and stick to canon as much as possible. I'm glad you liked it :)

i love this :) nice little one shot.

Author Response

Haha, I’ve been wanting to edit and rewrite it as it’s one of my oldest works and the writing quality’s a bit lacking in places, but I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the review <3

Hey, I'm here for BvB! :)

This was an adorable one-shot. I'm a massive Jily fan, so as soon as I saw it on your page, I knew I had to jump on it right away. (Esp with no reviews?? What??!)

I really liked the fact that you definitely showed Lily having some interest in him from the start, even if she denied it to herself. That's always been my headcanon, too - that she never really <i>hated</i> him the way it came across at the lake, just found him to be a bit of an obnoxious jerk in addition to liking him. You walked that balance so well, and I liked the end result a lot. I especially liked the fact that her friends all knew that she was being ridiculous and lying to ourselves - I think our friends often know these things about us before we know them ourselves, and it also really fits with the idea that James was actually pretty popular among Gryffindors (which also always seemed to be the case).

The only little bit of CC I had was that while I really liked the repetition as a narrative device and found it to be really effective, I did wish that you'd framed it a little differently. As it is, it comes off as a tiny bit skeevy - almost like blackmail - and I think it would've worked a bit better if he'd said something like, "If I did, would you go out with me?" or something - really slightly different, but just a little reframed/restructured. :)

Again, though, this was a really fun and adorable one-shot, and I really enjoyed it. Thank you!

Author Response

Hi, thanks for the review!

 I think it's slightly unrealistic if Lily suddenly fell in love with James. I think she always liked him but was too stubborn to admit it. I think it would be very like James to say something like 'If I did, would you go out with me?' I'll just make sure I put something in like that next time I write Jily- I'm also a HUGE fan of them ;)

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