2016-08-18 00:23:06
Better. but still took way to long. Be interested to see where you go from here. I still say the boy deserved at least one of Ginny's batty friends. And if they had reconciled at the start of the Chapter, why are they just doing it at the end ?
2016-08-15 19:20:46
Not a bad start, but I do have some issues with. One, for somebody that is so desperate to find Ginny, it certainly takes a long time for him to find her. He takes a nice long bath, has breakfast, including seconds, and a nice long chat with Kingsley. THEN Ginny finds him, their reunion seems to be brief, with very little said. This does not seem to be the fire breathing red head I know and love. Not single bat bogey in sight.

He spends more time talking to Ron and Hermione than he does Ginny, and he has not discussed his future plans with her. I'm sure she is thrilled, but again she is not included.

Then, instead of spending time with her, he starts rebuilding the castle. This is still not the picture of a young man who has spent the last year away from the love of his life. Especially one known to be a fireball.

Still, not bad, and I'm interested enough to keep reading
2016-08-15 19:20:46
Great story ! Why didnt think of this myself

Author's Response: Thank you. I really do appreciate it. Working on the second chapter now. :)

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