Reading Reviews for Nothing But Perfect
  
24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jen Lives

25th April 2017:
I really like this story I think the characters emotions feel so real

Author's Response: Thank you so much, and thanks for the review!

 Report Review

Review #2, by May Days

2nd November 2016:
Poor Albus and scorpius they are having a hard time with there feelings

Author's Response: Hey May! Thanks for the review. Yeah, definitely. But who knows? I definitely believe in the proverb, when one door closes two doors open. Have a wonderful day!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #3, by Ron 4 Hermione Snoggers

27th October 2016:
Hey there, back again!

Aww, poor Scorpius. Not only does he have to put up with Albus and Matthew being together during the day because theyíre friends, he now has to at night as well. Not fun! Although itís making me feel kind of bad for Albus because all he wants is to be happy, and itís not like he knows how Scorpius feels.

Aww, Iím glad he told Matthew the truth about what to get him. I like that youíve introduced him a bit more and showed off a bit more of his character as well. Although now itís making me think thatís what he wanted to get him and now he canít which is sad.

Aha, I love Lily and Iím glad Scorpius has someone who knows and who he can talk to about it now. Not that it seems like he wants to though. And Iím with Lily, I totally ship them as well! :P

Another great chapter, and Iím excited to see you writing more of Maddie/Scorpius in the next chapter! :)

- Shaza

(HPFT Team Vampire Review)

Author's Response: Hey, glad to see you back!

Of course I just wanted MORE drama and MORE Scorpius feeling bad because this story is DRAMA ANGST and MORE DRAMA and MORE ANGST.

Matthew is a sweetheart, how could Scorpius refuse anything he asked for? Maybe it is, I never really thought about that.

Lily is literally my spirit animal in this story (and my name is Lily, ha ha). I actually know that Lily is going to be something more than Scorp's friend in the epilogue of the sequel, but they won't be a couple (mull over that for the next chapters of this story and the sequel, ha ha).

I hope to see you continuing to read and review even though team vampire vs team werewolf review battles are over.

Thank you for the kind review, have a lovely day!

-ImaRavenclaw





 Report Review

Review #4, by Ron 4 Hermione Questionings

26th October 2016:
Hey, Iím back again!

Oh no, this blows! I knew I shouldn't have got my hopes up although I mean at least this is better than nothing. Aha, I wish Scorpius really had said ďDon't go for him. I love you, I want youĒ. Hopefully one day!

That date! What is Scorpius doing? Now I just feel sorry for Maddie. Okay, and a bit for Scorpius because it must be hard to see Album taking Matthew on a date when he wants it to be him but ergh. Jerk behaviour. Oh no, I hope he doesn't string this along so far that his parents find out/ meet Maddie because that would make it even worse!

I think this chapter is making me want to kick Scorpius into shape. I get it must be hard to see the guy he loves with someone else but he's going to lose him as a friend at this rate. Oh dear, why do I feel like there's only going to be more problems to come!

Another great chapter, looking forward to the next one!
- Shaza

P.s. I know Iím only like 3 chapters in but Iím now really excited for the sequel!!

(HPFT Team Vampire Review)

Author's Response: Ahhh, so sorry that it has taken me so long to reply!

Plot twist of course. No you shouldn't... I know, me too (Lily, you're the one who wrote this idiot), but of course that would make the story really boring.

I know. Some part of him deep down enjoys Maddie, but he doesn't really LOVE her. Scorpius is the jealous type, Matthew is the perfect type who doesn't get jealous at anything.

Scorpius has gone through a lot though, don't be so hard on him. There's a reason he doesn't say anything to Albus. YES THERE WILL BE MORE PROBLEM MUAHAHAHA *cough* *cough*

Thank you very much!
I know, me too!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #5, by Ron 4 Hermione Thoughts

23rd October 2016:
Hey there! So I thought Iíd carry on and see what happens next!

Again with breaking my heart! It must have been so hard to grow up with Draco as his father. I know Iím only two chapters in but I really want him to have some happiness.

Scorpius must both love and hate being friends with Albus. At least he gets to be around him but that must be just as hard as it is fun for him! I love the way you write their friendship group as well, especially Rose. Theyíre all just so different but itís an interesting dynamic to read about.

Wow, okay, so that is weird! I definitely think Albus wasnít telling the truth there, although weather I dare to dream I donít know haha.

This was a short but very interesting chapter. Looking forward to what happens next.
- Shaza

(HPFT Team Vampire Review)

Author's Response: Hello there Shaza! I'm glad to see you back.

Yes, it is depressing. Trust me, there probably won't be much happiness until the sequel! Don't hold your breath.

I don't really know if he hates or loves being friends with Albus. I never really thought that through.

He was telling the truth. HA HA HA OF COURSE HE WASN'T DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I WAS GOING TO MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL?! I don't think so.

I hope to see you reading more, and I hope that you have a very lovely day!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #6, by Ron 4 Hermione Lives

23rd October 2016:
Hey there! Leaving the second of your review prizes!

Oh wow, so Iím guessing by the authors note this is going to be heavy.

Oh no, his father telling him that itís his life to find a girl is then followed by a dream about Albus. That can only be a recipe for disaster.I like your portrayal of Draco in this though, he seems a lot more like his father was, strict rules- forbidding crying- and his mother being scared of him. Although I feel like that is just going to create a lot of problems later on, especially for Scorpius.

Aww, this is too cute, and agonising! Poor Scorpius! I wonder if Albus feels the same way. Hmm. Aha, I love how you dropped Neville in there, I definitely think heíd be headmaster one day!

This is a great start to the story, I love how youíve portrayed Scorpius and how his personality is affected by him having grown up in a house with Draco.

Canít wait to see what happens next!
- Shaza

(HPFT Team Vampire Review)

Author's Response: Hey Shaza, thanks for this splendid review!

Yes, very very very heavy.

I'm glad you like it. I definitely wanted to make Draco much stricter in this fic because in a lot of my other ones both Harry and Albus are always super accepting and everything is fluffy and boring. But there's a little mystery from Scorpius's past that you might find out if you keep on reading.

Yes, no, maybe so. Who knows? Well... I do. But besides that!

Thanks for the review, I hope that you keep reading!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #7, by May Holidays I

17th October 2016:
Poor Scorpius let's hope things get better x

Author's Response: Oh I'm sure they will *smirks evilly*. Thank you for your kind reviews May, I'm glad you've stuck with the story, I appreciate it so much.

 Report Review

Review #8, by May Rules

17th October 2016:
Reading this story from start again it well written and very enjoyable

Author's Response: I'm glad that you like it! Thank you for taking the time to say it!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #9, by Leah Lives

17th October 2016:
I really enjoy reading this story

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to say that you enjoyed it! I means a lot!

 Report Review

Review #10, by PaulaTheProkaryote Lives

7th September 2016:
HELLO LOVELY LILY!

Things that really stand out to me in this chapter are in abundance but one major one is how different it is from Lyra. It's much heavier and angstier and that's also fabulous. I love when writers have that contrast.

The Malfoys are a VERY different breed than they were in Lyra. I'm okay with that too though.

I love how much pressure you've put on Scorpius to have a relationship. A perfect relationship. A perfect STRAIGHT relationship. I was just talking to Plums about the pressures that society would put on magical families. You better reproduce no matter what because every drop of magical blood is precious, especially if you're pureblood. I love how you've really driven that home.

Part of me thinks that Draco wouldn't even really care that Scorpius was gay as long as he did do the whole marriage and babies thing and then the other part, reading the first few lines, would say that it could be a death sentence for Scorpius. I'm curious to see which way it pans out.

I'm quite surprised TBH by the bit about Rose. Would Draco really be fine with his son with her? Why else would he be asking? I would imagine a lot of pressure to be toward a pureblood girl but maybe he'd just settle for a girl that Scorpius was friends with.

ďYou arenít. You arenít. You arenít. You arenít.Ē Oh, darling, I'm afraid you are. I love this section though. The torment, the pain. I think this is one of your better stories I've read so far if only for how much emotion is captured. It really pulls the readers in.

I'm curious if perhaps young Ms. Henrietta Zabini will resurface. She'd be a potentially viable mate for him according to his father.

The line about Albus and him playing quidditch would be easier to recognize as a memory if it was italicized. That's more of a personal preference than anything so it's up to you. ď'Find the snitch and get this over with!' He yelled after. I nodded through the clouds and continued to search for the snitch." Another super minor thing is "mean grey eyes" I think another word other than mean would pack more of a punch. Like vicious. Mean just doesn't do him justice. And this line "when your away" it should be you're. Again, minor. NBD. This line was also a little wonky to read: "In the compartment was Rose, Albus, Sachi Merony (a beautiful muggleborn girl) and dotingly Albusís sister, Lily Potter." Maybe rephrased as "In the compartment sat the beautiful muggleborn, Sachi Merony, and Albus's doting little sister, Lily. Across from them sat Rose and Albus." or some variation that makes sense. It helps pull imagery and deals with the awkward line. ďYour such a slow reader, turn the page.Ē should be You're.

I like that Rose is at least semi-aware she's a cover. I'd like to know what she thinks of it and what she has to gain by doing so. Or is just out of friendship?

With Sachi's dog I keep imagining it wearing dog diapers (IDK why) and I keep laughing hysterically at the idea of it and I need more coffee before I lose my mind.


I 100% SHIP IT. LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED, I'M PLANNING THE WEDDING AND DRACO ISN'T ALLOWED. I hope you rerequest so I read the next chapter and don't put it on my endless to-do list instead! ;D

Author's Response: HI PAULA!

I'm glad you liked it. AND YOU'RE GETTING SO MUCH BETTER AT CORRECTIONS! I'm so proud of you *sniffles*. Before you thought you were being so mean, and now you're like "let's do this!"

Thank you so much for those grammar tips. I'll deal with that ASAP.

This is a short reply because I have some things to do that are unfortunately more important then fan fiction related things *sighs*.

I definitely try to always have contrast in my writing. That is something that is super important to me, so I'm glad you noticed that.

Well, you will find out why Draco is so pushy when you read about "That Day"...

I think there are some major plot twists in store for you, and I hope that you'll continue to read.

Thank you so much for finally reviewing. I get it, RL gets in the way WAY too often.

Much love,

ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #11, by wolfgirl17 Lives

17th July 2016:
Hello Darling,

It is I, the elusive Wolfgirl, here to check out your story for your review request in my thread. First off, I love the banner and the chapter image. Very delicious. I kept staring at it at the top of the chapter and losing my place in the sentence.

Now, onto the meaty stuff. Firstly, there are a number of typos throughout, things like using 'of' when 'up' is more conversational and makes more sense, here: "He didnít end of saying anything about which girl,"

There were a number of these throughout where perhaps an edit through would help make it flow a little better. Try reading the fic aloud to see how it sounds. It it feels awkward as you read it because it's not how you might ordinarily say something, change it to how you would actually say it if you were talking.

Generally speaking readers tend to read how they would actually think the words were they monologuing, especially in fics like this where we see through the 1st person POV of the protagonist. Having the words not be what we might ordinarily think as we experience the scene tends to jar the reader out of it a little.

On HPFT the mods are currently in the process of creating a Beta Requesting section/thread, so if you have the time and want to improve a lot, you could always try asking someone to beta-read it for you. They tend to catch little things like that and fix them up for you.

Also, on a more grammatical level, it's important to always start a new line when switching between people who are talking. Especially if it's unclear who is saying what.
Here: "ďSo, how is Rose?Ē He asked conversationally. ďSheís fine.Ē I said,"

A new line should have been included because you switched between Draco asking a question and Scorpius answering. Think of the line-break as being the slight pause in time it takes for 2 people to converse. Without the breaks between speakers it all blurs together and makes it confusing for people to understand who is talking, the type of tone that might be used and whether one should be interpreting from Draco's POV or Scorp's.

They are only little things, but they will improve the overall flow of the piece and make it a more cohesive read as the reader won't have to stop to figure who's talking.

You've also got a few sections where you've used the word 'then' when you meant to use 'than'. Like here:"Albus laughed a lot more then I did."

"Then" is a frame of time. Eg: We went to the zoo and then we went home.

"Than" is a comparison. Eg. I am better than Henry. Zoe is cooler than Zac.

Do you see the difference? In that example of yours it should be: "Albus laughed a lot more THAN I did." because Scorpius is comparing his laughter frequency to that of Albus.

Does all of that makes sense?

I must admit though, I did enjoy how infatuated Scorpius is with Albus in this fic. it's really sweet the way he pines for him when they're apart and the way he hates particular days because he doesn't get to see Albus as often as he'd like. Kudos on the characterisation, even if Scorp did seem rather glum throughout this chapter.

Overall you've got an intriguing beginning to your fic here, which, with a few touch-ups, could grow to be positively glorious. Keep up the good work and happy writing.

Much love!
xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Ellie, that was quick! Thank you so so much for all the super useful tips.

Even though I'd love to take credit for the beautiful banner and chapter images, I suck at photoshop. They were made by the amazing people at TDA, Enigma, Callisto, and Nyx! I can relate, whenever I get a new graphic it entrances me.

Let's get to replying with your fabulous corrections!

With the typo of the 'of' and 'up', I see it now. I always lose one tiny mark on my English assignments because I take risks in language, and sometimes go fast and don't realize the horrible mistake I've made *laughs*. I'll get that fixed up when I find time, and thank you for pointing it out!

I will definitely try the tip with reading the fic aloud, sometimes I find this hard because I work in busy places (cafe, library, park) and it's always a little weird having people pass. Also sometimes I get lost in this vision I have of my character, this way they speak, whether regal or casual. Sometimes that gets in the way...

Thanks for the beta tip!

Yes the dialogue... I've been working on this. I think I'm getting better, but this is something where I really think I'm going to go back and edit EVERYTHING.

Than/then is my biggest struggle. I'm working on it, this is WIP, I'm so self-conscious about it. Thanks for pointing it out!

Yes it very much makes sense! I am so grateful to you, you have no idea.

I'm glad you liked the beginning of the fic! Thank you for the complement on my characterization, and yes he was glum, because I think that's the point of angst :).

Thank you so much for your time! I hope you come back and read more. Thank you again (for the millionth time...)

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #12, by May Comforts

10th July 2016:
A mother great chapter I hope Mathew gets better soon and Al is ok

Author's Response: Thank you so much. You'll just have to come back and see what happens... Thanks so much for the review!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #13, by May Flames

10th July 2016:
Another great chapter love this story

Author's Response: Thank you!!! :) :) :) :) Have an awesome day!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #14, by May Flames

23rd June 2016:
It was sad to read what happened to Matthew and sad for Scorpius being in love with someone and they don't love you back is hard

Author's Response: Yes, it was hard to write Scorpius' outburst, and I had to really be careful about how I wrote it so that I could make sure it would be validated. I think I toned it down like five notches from where it was in the first draft. If you want more of Matthew, I'll be posting a one-shot from his POV soon. Thanks so much for reading, and for all of your kind reviews. Have an awesome day!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #15, by May Rules

23rd June 2016:
Although I hope that Scorpius and Al get together Matthew seems a great bloke and I like Lily and Scorpius so I'm excited to see where the story goes

Author's Response: Yes, I love the Scorbus pairing but I think Mattbus has really been my thing. Thanks for the review!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #16, by May Avoiders

23rd June 2016:
Not sure where this story is going you are keeping us all guessing it's great love the story

Author's Response: Thank you!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #17, by May Snoggers

23rd June 2016:
I love reading your story Lilly is a great friend in this to Scorpius it's a shame he is not into her but you can't choose who you fall in love with I do feel so bad for Scorpius being so sad

Author's Response: Yes! In the first draft I actually had Lily kiss Scorpius and then pull back and apologize, but then I took it out because I wanted Lily to really just be a friend to Scorpius, and support him with falling in love with her brother.

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #18, by May Questionings

23rd June 2016:
Was not expecting that Albus would like someone else other than Scorpius I feel sorry for Scorpius he as a sad home life and now his crush likes someone else

Author's Response: Well, it is an Albus/OC fic too! Thank you so much for your review May, and for reading the story and taking the time to comment on each chapter's contents. I appreciate it. Yes, Scorpius does have a tough home life. You'll get to see more of that at Christmas break, and maybe in the summer as well. Thanks again for your review, have a great day!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #19, by May Thoughts

23rd June 2016:
Your leaving me guessing if Al likes Scorpius as a friend or something more enjoying your story x

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Have an awesome day.

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #20, by Hufflepuff1990 Flames

22nd June 2016:
Oh my god! No! Poor Matthew :( and poor Albus.. And Scorpius too! I feel like my chest is constring, trying to control the need to get all of the emotions out. This was absolutely horrible, but so beautiful at the same time. LikeÖ The fact that they are getting hurt, and that the people in the magical world are so bigoted is terrible, but the way you write their emotions is beautiful and heartbreaking and it just pulls me straight into the story and has me angry and happy and fighting back tears all at the same time.

You're doing an amazing job. Just keep doing what you are doing, because whatever it is, it's working! Haha

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Yes, it is horrible what happened to Matthew. If you're looking for more detail, I'll be posting a one-shot soon called Maybe One Day, and it'll be from Matthew's POV, describing the attack and what happened before. A little secret, I actually kind of wanted to hurt Matthew for a while, it would help integrating a little Scorbus in, and you'll see it next chapter!

Yes, I love this story because the emotion is so easy to work with!

I am super happy that you're enjoying the story, and I hope to see you posting some of your own soon. I thank you for all the compliments and this awesome review, it has made my day!

It's a good thing my tactics are working. Muhahahah *cough* *cough*.

I'll see you next chapter, hopefully, and have an amazing day!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #21, by Hufflepuff1990 Avoiders

14th June 2016:
Wow. This was definitely a good choice for the first story for me to read on this site!

Absolutely loving it so far, and I'm looking forward to reading how this continues. Really good teen drama. I wonder what exactly happened "that day". If albus knows about it, it can't be something that screams "scorpius is gay" because then albus wouldn't be so convinced that his best friend is straight...

Well, I'll stop babbling now, and let you get on with your life xD you probably have better things to do than reading my every thought about this story.. I'll just go check if you have any more stories 😉

Author's Response: Welcome to HPFF! Thank you so much for taking a chance on my story and making it your first one. Eventually I will write a chapter explaining everything that happened, that day, but Albus definitely knows more then you think.

Trust me, I have nothing better to do *laughs*. I love reviews and they make my day. Thank you for your kind one, and hopefully I'll see you for the next chapter!

Have an amazing day!

-ImaRavenclaw.

P.S. I have plenty of other stories that you can check out. ;)


 Report Review

Review #22, by NoAccount Thoughts

12th June 2016:
I really like the route you're taking with the personallities of the characters and how scorpius is handling his situation; it's all very realilistic! Keep it up, I look forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you very much, I really appreciate it. I definitely do try to keep the personalities of my characters very different, especially from story to story. Thanks again for your review, and have an amazing day!

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #23, by Lil lily71 Thoughts

11th June 2016:
Really enjoying this story so far, can't wait for the next chapter.

Lore

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! I'm just about to send the next chapter in for validation. Have a great day and thanks again for the review.

-ImaRavenclaw


 Report Review

Review #24, by May Lives

6th June 2016:
Great great read I do enjoy this pairing it's so seems the right pairing

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I wanted to try a story where Draco was more strict and orderly. Hope you read the next chapter!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login