2016-05-13 07:09:19
(For CTF: Gryffindor - Jailbreak)

Hey Hayden! I know I already like this because I like second-pov's - and as I can see, you took a different approach with this, and I can see why.

I don't claim to be asexual myself, but I can totally relate to Luna here. I never really felt the need to be in a relationship like that. (I have been a few times - but they never really worked out.) I find though, I am better on my own. Reading this - it reminds me of the times when I had my peers - or just people in general - try to convince me to be in a relationship.. or they would try to talk about how cute someone is... or do I like them. I find myself at a loss at times because I didn't find anyone that much attractive then - even now. I was mostly in love with characters. All jokes aside, as I said, I can see how Luna avoiding those topics all-together because I practically do the same. I keep to myself. When I was younger, I did try to fit in. Even up till after I graduated from high school. It took me a long time to get to a point where I don't feel or don't have to feel like I have to fit in. That's what you had Luna do here. She tries to keep herself occupied. She surrounded herself with good people and lived life the way she wanted. By the way, I had to laugh at the part with the Tahn-yuh too. I love how you added that she had birth-certificates and everything. Had me like - what?

You concluded this very well in the end - with her just being blank. You don't have to be necessarily anything and it isn't a bad thing.

Great job!
2016-05-13 07:09:19
Really interesting story here, Hayden! This is a new take on the "coming of age" theme you often get in young adult stories, as normally it includes a romance of some kind. Here, your protagonist has deliberately eschewed that route and is all the happier for it. I can understand though how she's kept her distance from her old school fellows, though, as that sort of questioning is so annoying when you don't have an answer. (As someone who has gone through "when are you getting married", "when are you having a baby" and "when are you buying a house", I can relate.)

I love the idea of Tahn-yuh, as well. That's hilarious. You don't often get the comedic aspect in these short one-shots, but you nailed it with that one. Had me giggling uncontrollably, especially when you mentioned the birth certificate. Well done!

All in all I thought this was a well thought out and well constructed piece. You've got into this character's head (is it Luna? It was hinted that it was, but it's not clear at all) and shown their innnermost thoughts and annoyances. And the minimalist title works really well too. I was very impressed by this one, Hayden. Really good job!

cheers Mel
2016-05-13 07:09:19

I'm here for the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Weekend!
I was pretty certain I've already read and reviewed this story but apparently I didn't?? How did this happen?

First of all, I really like that you've written this because it helped me understand aros even better than I previously had. You taking the time to write this really provides insight into what it's like and let's be real, aros are SEVERELY under-represented in fics.

I think the thing that stuck out the most to me was the point of view you chose. Not only was it very appropriate, but it also really highlighted the story. I feel like you don't need to tell me those gender identifying pronouns because they aren't necessary to the story. You're telling us what it's like for us to experience it.

I like how we see other aspects too though because who you are/aren't attracted to isn't the thing that should define you entirely. You are a person.

Also, you make the very good point that snogging takes away from studying time. Also boyfriends are totally over rated. The war would naturally leave permanent scars, especially for those that were so immersed in the battle. I like the applied science bit because I've always thought that if I didn't go into biology I'd love applied science. I think the best part of all of this is the happiness and resolve in the ending. It's okay to be blank.
2016-05-13 07:09:19
Hey there! :)

So I haven't read that many stories about aro/ace characters (whether they're just aro or just ace, or both), so this is a bit of a strange one for me - but strange in a good way! :) In ways, it's that little bit more personal, but it's good - and I think you handle the topic really well, showing the sort of confusion when you see everyone else off doing things you just don't get the point of, and how Luna doesn't understand it and how it takes her so long to come to terms with what she feels and how she feels.

There was a lovely simplicity about your writing in this too. The way there wasn't overly much description, and no dialogue, it really allowed the emotion of it to flourish and perhaps the more thoughtful side of it to come out really well. It's not a style which works well for everything or for everyone, but you use it so well. Also, it's not the easiest thing to do, so you should definitely be proud of it ;)

I also wanna say that I love the idea of using Luna for this too - it was strangely lovely to see Luna, who's so confident in herself throughout the books, be unsure and worry. It was a lovely, unique insight into her mind, and I really loved it.

This was a lovely, unique little one-shot, and I'm so glad I read it! :) Happy Pride Month! :)

Aph xx
2016-05-13 07:09:19
For the LGBTQA+ Review Event

Very nicely done Hayden. While I don't identify as asexual or exactly aromantic I totally get where the character/Luna is coming from. Why is there a need and a pressure to hook up? To be with someone? Life can be just as happy and full for the person who doesn't and has no desire to be in a relationship as it is for those who seek that kind of life out.

I admit I've had romantic moments myself but they aren't the end all and be all so I sympathize with not wanting people to ask about a significant other about a boyfriend/girlfriend. I am happy being me and on my own and don't desire anything more. It is frustrating some that people don't get that. Still happiness can be found and that is my favorite part of this story. Blank but happy and content with life.

Author's Response: Hey scooter!

Thanks! I always love it when someone who does not identify with or have a certain trait of a character can still understand where said character is coming from.

Thank you so much for stopping by!

2016-05-13 07:09:19
*For the LGBTQA+ Pride Review Event*

Hey Hayden.

So it took me a while, but I’m finally here to read this story. Now I first want to start by saying that I love that you wrote about this, because I myself identify as aromantic and I feel like there are not enough aromantic characters in stories. So yeah, I just want to thank you for writing this before I’ve even read it, because it means a lot to me. With that being said, let’s get to the actual review.

Okay, so I really think you did a good job when it comes to describing the feelings and well… characterize Luna I guess could you say. I could relate a lot, because there are some things here that I think anyone who is aromantic would have experienced at some point. I did for example often find myself not needing or caring much for a boyfriend, and I often said, and I still do today actually, that I honestly don’t believe in love. And people do think you just need to wait for the right person, but I really hate when people say that cause why does everything have to be about finding a guy/girl? Why can’t you just be happy and single? I really wish society would see that there’s nothing wrong with that, and that they would stop putting pressure on you to be with someone.

I’m probably around the age Luna is at the end of this story, when she’s cut contact cause she can’t handle the comments. Again, I can relate to that, because society is just mean to people that want to be single. Sorry, I will try not to be so angry, but that’s something that really makes me angry. It’s that overwhelming feeling of no one understanding that you just want to be alone, and that, that’s okay. You’re blank. I’m blank. Luna’s blank. And we aren’t taught nearly enough about feeling like that, and because of that we are ignorant. We don’t understand. We put pressure on people. It’s not okay. I really wish it will change.

Okay, I’m done ranting. Over to your writing. I love that you wrote it in second person’s POV. It’s a POV I’ve grown to love over the last year or so, and I think that, if you do it right, it can end up being a really good story with this perspective. With story, it just felt like the right POV, because it’s like you’re telling us what it’s like, what it feels like, that it’s okay to feel like this and to be different. And while I haven’t read a lot of your work, I do think this is the best one so far. It really captures an emotion, and has a message about accepting yourself, but at the same time it doesn’t focus entirely on her sexuality. It also covers her life, what she’s done instead of finding a boyfriend, marry and have kids. It was great to see, and such an important story to tell. Good job. Thanks for writing it and for sharing it. Like I said before, it means a lot to me.

2016-05-13 07:09:19

I've been meaning to read this story for a long time, and I couldn't think of a better opportunity to finally get here. I know this story is a really important topic for you and I think it's great that you've written about an aro/ace character because, even with the increased representation for LGBTQA+ characters in fic (and in general), I think ace/aro characters are still quite underrepresented.

I think one of my favourite things about this story was the fact that you chose to use the second person to tell it; the narrative worked so much better because of that choice, I think. It felt like the story was addressing the reader, and the protagonist could be the reader - it really helped to normalise the idea that someone may not experience romantic or sexual attraction to another person, and I think that's what's needed.

I also loved the fact that you made it clear that there's nothing wrong with being asexual and aromantic and the protagonist comes to accept that; it's so easy to feel like being different is wrong, but I liked the fact that there was acceptance here. It was quite sad that she wasn't able to stay in touch with the people she'd known at school because she didn't want them to ask questions about her love life. I really hope that there would have been some people at least who would have understood.

Another thing I really enjoyed about this story was the fact that it didn't just focus on her sexuality, but that it covered her life story, because everybody is so much more than who (if anyone) they're interested in. I liked the fact that she studied so hard and made something great of her life!

Sian :)
For the LGBTQA+ Review Event
2016-05-13 07:09:19
Aw, I think it's kind of sad this character didn't contact any of their old schoolmates because they were worried about being asked if they were in a relationship. It sounds as if they feel they'll be judged for that or as if people will think there's something wrong with it. People in the wizarding world do seem to marry fairly young, so I guess that added to her feelings of being different.

I'm glad she eventually came to realise there was nothing wrong with being aromantic asexual. If anything, it has made my life a whole lot easier. No worries about "does he fancy me?" or upsetting break-ups or worries about how your family or friends will get on with your partner. If you want to be in a relationship, it's not something you can entirely control, especially as most people want a relationship with a specific person, but if you want to be single, there's no difficulty getting what you want.

I like the way you mention the girls working hard. I've read quite a few stories where characters seem to spend their whole time partying and still get top grades and while that CAN happen, it's not exactly the most common. It makes far more sense that your characters would top their classes because they work hard as WELL as being bright.
2016-05-13 07:09:19
I applaud you for writing a story with this subject, because I know how close it is to your heart.

You've done a brilliant job at it, and I feel like this is your best work that I've read so far. I'm proud of this, and you should be too because it's amazing.

:D I wish that I could say more, but it'll just come out as a gushing mess of emotion.
2016-05-13 07:09:19
CAITY!!! *hugs*

I've seen nothing but good things about this story in the last few days so needless to say I am very excited!

Choosing second person POV was a really good choice, I feel it's easier for the reader to understand a bit more, and get a better glimpse of what it's like to be aromantic/asexual (and I'll admit, I did Google it, and after seeing mentions of it from you on Twitter). I am rather ignorant about this sexuality (I would never have heard of it were it not for you!) so I thank you for opening my eyes to it :)

This is wonderfully written, you should be very proud! It flows beautifully, and has definitely given me a greater understanding of people of this sexuality feel. I love how through the entire story, Luna is happy and strong and knows exactly what she wants. She's confident and I respect that ♥

So thank you for choosing this topic to write about, and the support you've received from others of a similar sexuality is just amazing to see!

Lots of love,
Bianca ♥
2016-05-13 07:09:19

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and all that! Sorry for the lateness and stuffs, I was really excited to read this though and I'm happy that I finally get a chance to sit and devour it.

So, this was pretty darn fantastic. I'm always curious about stories that feature Asexuality and I think you've done an amazing job with this.

It's not something that we see all the time on the archives but I liked what you did here with Luna's character. She's usually kind of used as a hopeless romantic but here, she's so grounded and sure of herself as a person. Even more so than I remember from the books, she knows who she is and what she wants for her life.

I know the feeling of being disconnected from people when it comes to romance as well. It's a strange sensation to not want those things and it took me, personally a long time to understand that there was nothing wrong with how I felt.

Luna's observations were fresh and honest. She didn't come across as cold hearted or stiff, I appreciated that you showed her intelligence and determination. War changed her and left a few cracks but she's healed, grown and become a woman she can be proud of.

Very inspirational for me, personally and I think you did a wonderful job. The passage of time through your paragraphs flowed well and your characterization was beautifully written.

No worries from me on this! Thanks so much for the excellent read. :D

Much love,


Author's Response:
Hey Gabbie!

Im fine with the delay! We all have rl stuff that cant be helped. Don't worry 'bout it.

omg wow. Thank you so much for your compliments! I always knew I wanted to take a foray into writing LGBTQIA, and so when Jayna's challenge came up i knew it was the perfect opportunity to start that, and with a topic I'm extremely passionate about, which is what the challenge is all about.

When I read or see stories of Luna being a hopeless romantic, I am astounded. Because not once in the books is Luna portrayed as being of the romantic sort.

Luna was always so honest, blunt and straight forward that i feel she would be the same about her sexual and romantic orientations. She was so freaking underrated in the movies.

Im so glad i've inspired you in a way! With every single piece of writing I put out, I aim to inspire someone someone. I'm so glad that the time jumps weren't choppy as I feared, and that I embodied Luna well.

Happy! And you're very welcome!

2016-05-13 07:09:19

Sorry, I'm just super excited about this.

I'm ace, and I've been searching and searching for a fic that has an ace character. I've even had to write ace and aro characters in my own stories just to make myself feel better :-/

I love your use of second person. It made me feel like the narrator was talking to me personally, and it made me feel better about everything.

Sometimes I find myself feeling a bit outcast because of my sexuality (people often say that I've 'just not found the right person yet') but this story. This story has reminded me that although my sexuality may be hard for others to understand, it is real and valid.

Okay, I am actually crying now, so I'm going to sign off. Thank you, thank you and thank you.

~ Lee

Author's Response:
Hey Lee!

It's perfectly fine to be excited.

I didn't know you were ace! I myself am a versandrogyne nonlibidoist aromantic asexual, and so its great to know that there's someone else on hpff that knows what the challenges are of being asexual.

I'm really disappointed in the lack of Aro/Ace stories on the archives. I think it's because of the fact that many think that the A stands for Ally, even though it definitely doesn't.

This is my first time writing both LGBTQA and in second person, and I already was thinking about writing an Ace/Aro piece, but when Jayna's challenge came along it felt like destiny, and that life had purposefully stalled me in writing it, so this challenge could come along.

I feel outcast too. Im only a high schooler, and have never had a boyfriend unlike many of my friends. They all say I need to meet the right guy and then it'll all fall into place, but I know that's so not true. And its definitely real and valid.

If you ever need to talk, I'm here. :)

Awwh, i didn't mean to make anyone cry! *hands you boxes of tissues* You're very welcome.



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