I read 'Her Death' a long time ago and swore that I would check out the rest of your stories soon, but I forgot it somehow. Anyway, I stumbled across your AP after months today and got to read a few one shots of yours. And I simply loved them all! Your language flows in an easy yet beautiful way and I just cannot figure out how you manage to write such short yet wonderful stories! :D I'm really impressed!
Unfortunately I don't have enough time to review every one-shot that I read so I'm leaving a review on this one as it's the best one so far in my opinion. :)
Such a heartbreaking piece of work this is! The descriptions are simply gorgeous. The scene felt very alive. It would have been just as perfect even if you hadn't mentioned who this was about. It felt more about the emotions than the characters and I love it!
Really good job! I hope I'll be able to review the other three stories that I read. :D
Omg this is Ron and Hermione being cute, and dancing, and they're so adorable dancing at their eldest grandchild's wedding and it's giving me such happy feels! and I can't stop smiling it's so fluffy! And then BAM! you hit me with the Harry feels, and the Hermione having a cough feels and them not being long for this world feels. But they're still so adorable dancing and I'm so mixed up in these emotions and I don't know what to feel, so I shall cry.
Absolutely breathtaking one shot, I loved this!
Hi there! I'm here for our review swap from the forums. Sorry it took me a bit to get here. Things and stuff, but I made it!
What a touching moment you painted here! I was drawn into the lives of this older Ron and Hermione immediately. The first person addressing the second person format gave this a very intimate feel, which works excellently with the theme of the piece.
While reading, I tended to wonder how much Ron knew about what was going to happen. You didn't explicitly spell it out, which is not necessary, but the consistent reference to this moment being one of their last times together had me wondering if Hermione was sick, or if she knew she was close to dying. If Ron knew, or if he was simply being overly sentimental... I took it as the former through the language that you used. At any rate, it was very clear that whatever time they had left together was being cherished and treasured.
I appreciated the graceful way you inserted moments in Ron's thoughts that gave me a peek into the long and fulfilling life the two of them had together. I felt the happiness, the pride, the joy at being able to share those moments with each other.
I think my favorite part was where Ron burries his own worries so that he can keep her from worrying too. The small description of her dress and the cough tells us that something is up. It was so subtle, but spoke volumes. You didn't use a lot of words, but then you didn't need to. It was all right there for us, in the spaces between the words where the feelings lie.
This was a lovely, touching story. Thanks for the swap!
Hi Avi –squish, squish- here to do some do exchange reviewing :)
I listened to the Bodil Kjer & Poul Reichardt version of ‘Den Allersidste Dans’ while reading this (thank google haha). I’m American, so what really rang through was the emotion in the tenor of their voices and I think it was a great accompaniment to this one-shot.
I am at work, trying to content myself and not shed tears at my cubicle. This was so short and sweet and beautiful. I love that you captured this moment between Ron and Hermione. Showing the depth of their love and giving credence to old age that is missed on the archives a lot. It’s sad that Ron will be alone, that Harry's passed, but it’s very optimistic and endearing. And I’m just really in my feels, so I’m having trouble typing more. I hope I find such a love as this. And I’m sorry your aunt never got a similar ending.
Avi! I'm a bit late with your birthday review, but better late than never, right? I hope you had a brilliant birthday my lovely♥
This was so incredibly beautiful, and nothing less than the perfection that I'm used to from you. This completely broke my heart, I mean it was sad enough as it is with Ron and Hermione, but then I read your author note and it destroyed me. I'm sorry that you lost your Uncle, I hope it helped to write this ending for him♥
You are too talented.
Author's Response: Hi Dee!
Ah thank you so much for your lovely birthday review! I'm so sorry for being so late with answering it, it's been a hectic few months!
I definitely didn't intend to destroy you with that author's note :-O but yes, it helped me in some way, to write this story. He died a few days before my birthday, so I always think of him that time of the year.
I'm so happy you liked this story! I'm getting used to write Romione stories now, which is weird, hehe.
You are wonderful, Dee!
Avi, I am so sorry! I completely forgot about this! And by "forgot about this" I mean that I thought I had done it and just realized last night that I had not! But here, finally, is my review for the November Exchange!
I really enjoyed this story! And I normally don't like Ron. I think everyone probably knows this by now. But I still enjoy reading him from time to time and this story was just so cute and very bittersweet.
I love that you wrote them as an older couple. And they've lived a happy life and their children have grown up and had kids who are already growing up and getting married. And Ron realizes that they aren't going to be around forever and that his wife is on the verge of death, no matter how much she smiles to hide the fact.
When I was reading this I got an eerie feeling that maybe Hermione was already dead. Or that she would die that night. It seemed like a possibility. It's sad to see the trio broken up, with Harry gone. And it's even sadder that Ron will be the one left alone once he loses Hermione. But it's nice to see that he's not angry or hurt by this but understanding of the fact that it's going to happen and that he's able to say goodbye to her, knowing they will be reunited again one day.
Wonderfully written and beautiful yet bittersweet one-shot, Avi!
I'm here, a bit late, to wish you a happy birthday!
Maybe I didn't pick the right story for it, though... But I loved the bittersweetnees of this piece, and I feel you and the reason you wrote this in the first place. The loss of a close family member is always so painful and so hard to accept, even years later. It's so beautiful what you did here, giving your aunt and uncle the chance of goodbyeing each other in a sweeter way.
This story is so beautiful, so poetic, so sweet. The delicacy and the peacefulness of it is astounding, when the theme behind it is so heavy! It makes me want to smile and cry at the same time. I think I'll add it to my favourites!
Hope you had a wonderful birthday!
Lots of love,
Happy Birthday Avi!!! It's me Penn and I have come to spread some birthday cheer for my amazing prefect. You do know you are amazing, right? :)
Coming onto your short story... ITS BEAUTIFUL! Just in case you missed it, that was me howling in pure joy. I mean it has been so long since I have actually been simply overwhelmed by a story. I mean it is short and yet so poignant. Emotions are literally bursting out of the seams here and you just want to keep reading on and on before you completely drown in them.
Bravo Avi. Bravo. This has to be, without a shadow of doubt, the best I have read on this site till now.
Happy Birthday once more and please oh please continue to write such stupendous pieces.
Very sweet dance for our couple :)
Author's Response: Thank you!
Oh Avi, you've made me cry. Excuse me if my review isn't very coherent.
Such beautiful, beautiful writing. This was so perfect. Ron/Hermione's last dance. The way you wrote it, just wow. This was such a bittersweet one-shot. It was so sad that they're in their old age and Hermione is ill and Ron can feel his end nearing. And yet their love is still the same which was adorable. Also, the little mention of Harry having passed away tore at my chest. It's sweet and fitting that they still think of him.
Really, it was so beautiful. And I think it's perfect the way it is. It does not need more expansion in terms of the environment etc. This one-shot is all about raw emotion and I believe it'll lose that essence if you add more details about the surroundings etc. So, it's best to leave it as it is - but that's just my humble opinion =)
As for mistakes, I didn't spot any except:
"You smile and I take your hand in mine. I swear I saw a sparkle in your eyes." I believe it should be "I swear I see a sparkle..." to flow with the tense of the rest of the narrative.
Besides that, as I said, this was perfect. I loved it and it was my pleasure to read it. You portrayed Ron and his love for Hermione beautifully, and the premise of this was very touching. Your writing is always so moving. Great work *hugs*
This is so sad but so beautiful. Great writing.
Author's Response: Thank you!
Here for our review swap!
This is a very tender moment that you've written between Ron and Hermione here. I really love that all of these years later, when they're old and grey, they're still as in love as they were in the beginning. You can tell by the way he holds her and the things he notices about her. She is the center of his world and I imagine that he's the center of hers.
One little detail that I enjoyed was the brief reference to Harry. He's passed on, but it's nice to know that his best friend still thinks of him.
The ending was definitely bittersweet. On one hand it's sad that while they're dancing, Ron knows it's the end, but on the other I'm glad they had this moment together. It will be something for Hermione to hold onto in the bitter days ahead.
This was a lovely read. Thanks for the swap.
RON/HERMIONE FLUFF YOU'VE WON ME OVER ALREADY AND I HAVEN'T EVEN READ IT YET.
WAHHH okay now I've read the whole thing and got tears in my eyes! guh how did you do this, in 500 words make me go from 0 to tears?
This is such a beautiful piece - this tender moment as Ron and Hermione are dancing and he's reflecting on their many years of happiness together - and simultaneously acknowledging that she is ill and near the end. It's just one short scene but there is so much feeling in it. And it was those last few lines - "We'll see each other again. I promise." that just sent me over the edge. :'( Because it's sad, but it's also beautiful, and above all, it's hopeful. I absolutely love it, Avi. And your A/N at the end just made it that much more touching.
You are such a talented writer! I'm so glad I read this - this is seriously a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. ♥
Sorry for your loss. Beautiful story
Author's Response: Thank you
Oh, Avi. I hate and love you for writing this.
The one-shot is adorable. I've never read much about the Trio being old and I teared up at the thought of Harry not being there...
The sweetness of the dance and Ron's thoughts was overwhelming, you write him so loving, so caring. I love Ron when you write him.
And then I read you A/N. I was eating a marshmallow. You made me cry. Have you ever cried while eating a marshmallow? It was my first time, I hope I'll never go through that again.
It's been a while since I actually cried because of something I read.
Then I listened to Kim Larsen singing "Den Allersidste Dans". It took a few minutes for the tears to actually stop.
I really wish my grandmother was still alive; I wish she had been alive for the other big events in my life. I wish she'd have the possibility of meeting her grandkids, but that's never going to happen. I knew that already. But it still hurts so much.. And you've twisted the knife.
Your writing always touches me so deeply. You lift me up, hurl me against the wall... Take me to wonderful places, make me experience such feels...
You've scared me, scarred me, made me laugh, made me go "aww", and now you've made me cry.
Really. Avi. I hate you. ♥
Never stop writing.