I'm here to (finally) review your entry for my Sleeping Habits Challenge before I (finally) announce the resulsts!
Considering the challenge, her sleeping habit would be being read/told a story, right. I really like that you chose to write about Helena as a child and I love the dynamics between her and the Baron; they are really cute.
The most interesting and entertaining aspect of this one-shot is the background on the history of Hogwarts and its Founders - I'm not used to reading stories from that era and I love your take on it.
The haughty way she commands him around is adorable and that the password to entering her room is her entire name made me grin - serious enough to think of a password, child enough to choose her name.
I spotted a small typo here "without tmy" and it's a darn shame the spacing is off, considering how smooth the read would otherwise be.
This was a very cute and entertaining read, thank you for writing this! I'll be looking forward to the next chapters; I'd love to get to know them both a little better!
Helena's situtation sounds frustrating and fascinating at the same time - "trapped" inside of Hogwarts. Very intriguing!
So the Founders have children, eh? Who is Rowena Ravenclaw married to? (I noticed her name didn't change.) Or is that a secret? :) And who is this boy? (Technically I know who, as in names and all...but WHO who?) :) Nice background on Quidditch...did you make that up or did you get it from Pottermore or other places?
I like the relationship between the Baron and Helena. It's really cute. I guess it would be lonely growing up as the daughter of one of the founders of Hogwarts. What's it gonna be like when she starts school next year? Also, why is her mother shutting her out??? x-( Meh! (Meh! directed at Rowena.)
I caught some typos here and there -- for example, "making as less noise as possible" where it should have been "as little noise as possible." Also, did you mean a morning wind or literally a "mourning wind"? As the story progressed and she kept talking with the Baron, for a while there weren't any tags on the dialogue. For the most part it was clear, but occasionally I was confused about who was talking.
Anyway, very sweet story you have here! I especially like how the Baron told her a bedtime story at the end because her mother wouldn't come down to do it...I wonder why Helena is so scared? (Meh! Rowena, Meh!) (Meh! is my chosen word of exaggeration.) (Closely related to Merp! but that has more to do with surprise) (Yes, I create my own exclamations.)
This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and I'll be getting to your requested review tomorrow, real life has just been such a pain. Ugh. I'm happy to be here though!
Interesting! I never read Founders era fics, I could never really get into them but I like this. Helena Ravenclaw always seemed like such an interesting character to me from the HP book and I always wanted to know more about her. I like here that you're exploring her when she's young, it's going to be interesting to see her growing up. There's something so sad about her being trapped in Hogwarts and also loving it at the same time. I couldn't imagine what that must be like for her, she's not expected to do anything or be anywhere but people never really get to know her.
That's a lot for a girl to go through at that age but her isolation actually makes me curious. What is her life really like in Hogwarts? I'm sure that she's allowed to do things but I get the sense that she's carefully watched as well. You've already shown some interesting range with her emotions though, she goes from being sad, cynical, happy and wary in great sections of this.
I think that Helena feels real and with this added dynamic between herself and Will, I can't help but wonder what's going to happen next. Speaking of, Baron is obviously an interesting little boy. It seems like he's already in love with her and the fact that he knows so much about her life reminds me of Snape. It's not precisely creepy or anything but you get the feeling that he's very devoted to her and I really loved the fact that you included some great canon in this. Peverells and Malfoy's this far back are really nice to see and of course it's not complete without the Blacks. I'm eager to see who will be making an appearance (Ancestors are always great to see in a story) and how their worlds collide with Helena's.
So, good start to this chapter! Helena and Baron have a great banter going on and while they're not quite sure of each other yet, I think that they're going to be friends for a while. Baron seems just as lonely as she does but Helena may be able to break down his barriers while he tries to be her shield. :D
Thanks for the read!
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