Such an interesting take on a Dramonie.
Looking back and seeing the possibility of falling in love with her, without the common undercurrent of a long forgotten crush on his part or a forbidden romance they'd once had. Just simply an acknowledgment that he could have seen it happening had circumstances been different.
I enjoyed that aspect of your story.
I do think there are some phrases in the story that could be reworked, as they seem a little off and distract from the flow of the story.
Thank you for sharing!
Author's Response: Thanks on the input! It helps a lot. Rereading the story now, the flow does seem to be interrupted. Sometimes it's good to take a step back from your work and come and look at it from a different light at a later time. So thank you for that. Also, thanks for the kind words. It makes writing that much better to see people who actually enjoy reading my work. Thank you.
Hello! I was scrolling through, looking for something new, and noticed your fic. I really liked the way you built up Draco's feelings for his son so well in such a sort amount of time. I could see the way his feelings and emotions changed over the years but still kept some of his old personality in this story. The only suggestion I have is that some of the phrase used sound a little off - for instance, I find it s little hard to imagine Dravo calling his son "kiddo". That aside, I liked this story quite a bit!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! It means a lot that you took the time to write this. Looking back at it, maybe he wouldn't call him kiddo, but it felt right at the time. Thanks for your input. It's honestly much appreciated.
Wonderful short story...I hope in this uni, like most, Rose and Scorpius get together (as it IS inevitable) ;)
Author's Response: It's very possible because his son doesn't judge like he used to. I was just trying to convey how he realized a lot could have been different if he had not been the way he was in school but also, that he is fine on how things turned out because he has a wonderful wife and child.
This is a very sweet story. You do a fantastic job with recalling the way Draco used to be and now honing in on the man he has become. I like that you don't go into tooi much detail but leave it for the reader to imagine. It's great. Plus you stick to canon and show a little hope of what could have been if he had not been such a prat in school.
The admiration you show Hermione(without saying her name- bravo) is wonderful. You hit on a lot of the characteristics that make us love our little bookworm. And I like that your main character shows that here.
The end was nice. When Malfoy drops down to his son and tells him to not let envy, ego, or bitterness get in his way- I thought that was sweet and kind. And Malfoy grew to be a father with having making sure his son sent discriminate. I am sad thigh that his kid never knew about what his dad was like earlier. It's going to beat hash wake up call(I think) when someone brings it up. :/ all in all. Cute story. You should enter it in the short and sweet challenge on the forums if you are on there.
Author's Response: Thank you for the response! It means a lot that you took the time to write all this. I absolutely love it when I get to hear how people feel about my writing so thank you.
I was scrolling through the list of new stories and happened to come across yours. Since I always love a Dramione story, I thought I'd give this a read.
I really enjoyed this little snippet of Draco on the platform reliving some of his memories from school. I think the character you've created has really grown up quite a bit because he seems so much mature here. I like that he's able to look at the awful things that he did and realize that he was wrong. There's really no fixing it at this point, but it's nice that he at least realizes he wasn't the greatest person growing up.
I enjoyed his musings about Hermione and how well matched they are. It's interesting how he thinks about how they could've been had things been only slightly different. It was really nice.
I also liked that even though Draco is having these thoughts, it doesn't really detract from his love for his wife or child. You can tell that they are the center of his world.
I try to include just a little bit of constructive criticism in every review that I leave, so here it goes. I did notice a few typos in this. They weren't anything really major, but if you get a chance to re-edit this it might be worth cleaning it up just a smidge.
All in all, I thought this was a pleasant fic about one of my favorite characters. Good work!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the response. It means a lot you took the time an effort here to explain to me what you liked and what I needed to improve on. I will fix my typos. Thank you bunches!
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