I really enjoyed this. Very tender and touching.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading+commenting!
Wow. Just wow.
I stumbled across this story at lunch looking for some good Harry/Hermione to read, and I wasn't disappointed (though my boss would be if he knew I was reading fan fiction at work hahaha).
I really loved this. The way you explore the feelings of Harry and Hermione post-war, and even Ron to some extent, is brilliant. Harry's characterisation was just perfect and his reaction and behaviour made perfect sense. Going through a war like that, obviously it's hard to move on. My heart broke for him.
And then Hermione was very well-written. I loved the way you portrayed her relationship with Harry. I ship them so hard here. "Let's grow old." That was a profound moment. Then the love scene. My god. Could not have been better. You described it very tastefully and at the same time in a tantalising manner. It worked the way it was supposed to. I could resonate with Harry/Hermione's connection. Brilliant.
I am glad Harry left for the trip in the end. It tied up the narrative together, showing that he was ready to try and start healing. Hermione helped him there, and I only hope that their relationship flourishes from when he returns.
This was such a lovely read. Great job!
Author's Response: I made such an "aw shucks" face when I saw this review! I haven't posted anything in forever, so it's great to get a review. (really. I hid my face in my shirt.)
Harry/Hermione is maybe a guilty pleasure of mine. I don't necessarily ship them, but I enjoy exploring their relationship. Or maybe just when I want to be super angsty.
Also, I find the trio most interesting post-war/pre-family, and I'm glad you enjoyed my interpretation and characterization.
Thanks for the review!
Wow, intense, that was unexpected of Hermione. In the same breath though it seemed right. Excellent chapter...time to go cool off now * wafts hand in front of face *
Author's Response: Haha, thanks.
Yeah, don't know what else to say. You had the appropriate reaction.
Slytherin House Cup 2015
I NEVER read Harry fictions! I don't know why because I really enjoyed this!
I think everyone, myself included, needs to explore the post-war emotions of the Golden Trio. Once it's over you sort of except them to get a huge weight lifted off their shoulders but that isn't necessarily the case. It's been a long, terrifying, heartbreaking war, and surely there's more to it than a weight suddenly lifting.
You portrayed all of the characters in perfect canon, which I love. Harry, especially. He can be a difficult person at times and I really saw that in him.
Overall, and I've said this before, I really enjoy your writing (obviously since I've reviewed many MANY of your stories today) and I've really enjoyed this story. Just beautiful!
Author's Response: I don't write the trio much, but what is most interesting to me about them are those post-war emotions. They were children who spent most of their lives fighting, and he transition to peace can be disconcerting. When they used to have to keep going and fighting no matter what, now they are left with their damage. And you can't tell me they don't all have damage.
I'm really glad to hear that you thought I kept the character in character, particularly Harry. I don't necessarily enjoy writing Harry, but when I do it is always good to hear that I handle him well.
Thank you so much for the lovely review, raisha!
I happened to see this story on the new stories thread this evening and since you left me a lovely review the other night, I thought I'd stop by and leave you a return review. :D
This was a really interesting choice for a story. Not too many people venture into the emotional status of the trio post-war...or at least not immediately post-war. I actually really like that you've chosen that time frame.
You've done an excellent job of showing each persons emotional state during this time frame and I thought that everything you portrayed of them fit right in line with their cannon personalities. At the finish, I had a really good sense of who each of them were, what their issues were, and where they were hoping to be.
The love scene between Harry and Hermione was executed pretty well. It was certainly steamy. You certainly did a good job of making the reader aware of what was going on with out getting overly explicit. Very tactfully done.
On the new stories thread, I noticed that you said that you challenged yourself to write a more physically descriptive story instead of emotionally descriptive. I think you certainly did include a lot of description, most of it really good. The only cc I'd like to offer in regards to that is that it felt a bit stilted in places, particularly in the beginning. I noticed that you have a tendency to put big vocabulary words in a lot of places, which there's nothing wrong with using big descriptive words. It's just sometimes using them so frequently throws off the flow. Maybe putting in a few simpler, more straight forward descriptive sentences would help ease that up a bit. (I hope this makes sense).
Also, I noticed a couple of sentences that read a bit awkwardly.
Always his head turned back away quickly, - This reads odd. Try taking the word always out
it was once again like stepping again into another world – take out the second again
All in all, I think this was a beautiful one-shot. You conveyed a lot of things that are very hard to convey and you did so without making them seem cliche. A few tweaks to the description will make it perfection. Good work!
Author's Response: Agh, surprise review - thank you so much!
I'm really glad that you thought I did a good job with their emotional states and that they all seemed in character. That's a scary thing about writing the trio so close to canon material!
For the love scene I wasn't sure how explicit I could get (a I haven't read many of that kind of scene on her) so I tried to be careful and not get explicit, which worked well because it helped me focus on the emotional side.
I see what you mean by the stilted comment. That was partially deliberate, as I wanted to use the narration to parallel Harry's numbness at the beginning and then bring it to life as he encounters Hermione. It's a fine line, to try to accomplish that without boring the reader with monotone writing in part of the story.
Thanks a lot for your comments on awkward sentence structure. I know it's a thing that I do, and I'm secretly relieved you only pointed out two instances. Your comments about my big vocabulary words gives me something to think about as well.
Again, thank you very much for your review. It gave me bouncy excitement! =)
I'm here for our review swap!! (thanks so much for swapping with me, by the way!)
So, I don't normally read much outside of next-gen because I am a strange little hobbit that never leaves her obsessive comfort zone. But this story was so amazing I'm really glad I did. I don't really ship Harry/Hermione, I never have, it's never like, occured to me? But with yoru descriptions in this one-shot, I think I could.
I mean, the story started out and I was sad and nostalgic and I just wanted to cuddle Harry and shake him and tell him to go with Ron! And see Hermione! I wanted to make sure that they'd be okay, that everything would be okay. I was just really really sad for him? (my words make no sense im sorry, it's so late here)
But then, he went to Hermione's and I think I almost knew it was coming even though I didn't know. And then that whole scene was beautiful. Your writing and description was incredible and I just felt all of their super strong feelings and then my heart was breaking again for Harry because I could feel it again. Like I knew, but I didn't know that he was going to leave.
BUT THEN! Then at the end he decides to go with Ron and I think that was probably a better ending than I could've dreamed up because it was strong and powerful and tied the story together really nicely. I just feel like it made it come full circle.
This was a really good piece of writing and you should be proud! Thanks again for swapping with me!
Author's Response: Hello Sarah, thanks for your review - I'll be getting to your story soon.
Haha, people keep telling me that they don't normally read Harry/Hermione, and I keep telling them that I don't usually write it! Maybe the fact that it's new for me, and not a pet ship of mine that makes it accessible to other non-shippers?
I really enjoy reading your account of your emotional reactions reading this fic - they're pretty spot on.
Hehe, I take your words to mean I did a good job with subtle foreshadowing =) I am especially glad that you thought the story tied together well in the end.
Thank you very much for the swap and lovely review
Here for our swap!
Ok, I'll have to admit, this is not exactly my genre... But I still think you did an absolutely amazing job!
I loved your description! You really could feel the air of the sea in the first scene, and the way you introduced the urban environment later was simply amazing.
You did really great at showing Harry's emotions, too... He is just so broken and lost after everything he's gone through...
And then there is Hermione, with her compassion and sweetness. And they just feel this sudden attraction and, well... You really gave such a vivid and intense picture of all that happens between them.
I suppose it is a good thing that in the end he decides to leave with Ron and the others. He needs to start again. I suppose Hermione helped him to see that he could move on.
A really well written and constructed story! Congratulations!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
This is totally not my genre either, haha! So thanks for giving it a chance with me =)
Thanks for your specific notes on description. By the time I got to the urban setting I feared I may be going over the top, but I also felt that the description was relevant.
I was really glad to get your review, because it seemed like you really got what I was trying to do with Harry in this story, which is not sure is something that will come across clearly to all readers.
Vivid and intense are good words for it.
Thank you very much for your review.
Hello hun! I am here for our swap :D And I am very excited!
Your lovely descriptions instantly drag me in, and really sets the tone of the start of an amazingly written chapter.
Oh Harry, where have you been? Has he been hiding? And why isn't he going with them? And where are Ron and the others going? I have so many questions haha I'm definitely going to need to carry on reading the rest of the story!
I really liked how you've shown Ron and Hermione's background, how they've agreed to not rush into anything.
Harry and Hermione together are beautiful, it's so easy to see their friendship blossoming through and you've done a superb job with showing it, and how utterly amazingly they seemed to flow with ease from friendship to something more. He needed this, and I'm glad that he found it with Hermione. She's helping him move on.
And boy was that scene amazing! It was brilliant, you have such a fantastic way with words. You're an utterly fantastic writer and I am definitely going to keep an eye out for your future works!
And I'm so glad that Harry decided to go with Ron, but I can't help but wonder what's going to happen between them when Ron finds out? What's going to happen between Hermione and Harry now?
Seriously, this was amazing!
Author's Response: Aw, thank you very much for the really sweet review. I'll be reviewing your story tonight.
I'm really glad that you liked my descriptions, as that is something that I don't normally focus on and made a deliberate effort to work on with this story.
Based on your questions, it seems that I wasn't as clear with some of the details as you would have liked. I said in the story summary that Ron was going on the traditional tour of the wizarding world, though I didn't find a way to smoothly incorporate that fact into the body of the story.
I really didn't want to spell out too much background and personal details for this story so that the descriptions and dialogue could speak from themselves. I really wanted to create the sense that Harry was lost and struggling to adapt to quiet life without straight out saying it.
This story was actually written as a one-shot, and I do not have plans of adding more chapters to it at the moment. I suppose it is possible and I might at some point want to explore the development of Harry's reaction to the trauma of his life. But at this point I feel that it works best as a stand alone story, even if there are questions left unanswered.
I'm really glad that you found my words so compelling. It is a huge compliment that you are interested in reading more of my work, and I totally plan to keep posting more.
Thanks for the lovely review!