OMG i really love this story. i know you havent written in a while but please dont leave me hanging i need more!!!
Heyyy, I miss this story :'( I really hope you update soon because I want to see Snow and James talk properly about the kiss, I also love ScoRose and would love to see them more because they're cute and I also think Al's crush on Alice is super cute too and is a really nice little backstory! And I'm waiting on Dom/Paul and Debby/Fred so you know lots of love around. The further the story goes on the more I like Fred and Debby (individually I mean) as well, Fred is such a big softie. But yeah I miss these characters and I would be so happy to see another chapter!!
All the best
I HAVEN'T LEFT AGAIN! I'M STILL HERE!
but you're still not :(
I was hoping you might of come back by the time I wrote this but you haven't :(
I understand you probably have a lot going on in your life, I do to, but I do miss you, its so fun getting to write long, long lovely reviews to you and you having to then read the whole thing just to get to the point-mind you everything I say comes out like that, there is no short story or long story choice, just the latter. oh! look at that I used a sophisticated word (to my degree!)!
anyways I understand if you can't read this or you can but you can't reply until a later date.
anyways, time to get down to THE REVIEW!
said like that too you have shout it out of pure excitement that you're hearing from ze master weirdness (that's me!)!
... okay maybe you're weirder ... you can be the master... !I will be the princess!...or maybe an apprentice!... unless you don't want to be weirder cause then I'm taking back my title!.
I don't mean to offend you by saying you're weird, I personally see it as a compliment but if you do I would like to remind you that YOU LOVE ME!
you know you love me :)
you know you care...
gosh i'm singing again!
why is it that I always end up singing
OK! I don't know what its like but its like something and you should appreciate the thought and obsessive amount of full-stops. . . . . . . haha have more! ! !
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Spots everywhere! !
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
back to the point
you love me!
but I would like to come in here and say I love you more! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
also your story is like bae! total, total, absolute bae! ! ! ! ! ! !
I don't use that word often if at all, feel the lurve.
By the way I would like-nope, love- to add that I'm not on drugs, but have just had a lotta, lotta chocolate
:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
me and this we are in love, there is no denying it and if I remember last review I told you of our getting married, if I didn't, here is the great news! I am thinking of divorcing my dearest nutella, but you must understand that its very close to my heart. Also I'm thinking chocolate flavour for the cake, that's all 3 tiers, with extra chocolate sprinkles, ice-cream, brownie or rockyroad (no raisons- why ruin a such nice thing?) and more on top.
also can I just say something, flinty ain't so minty
-I'm pleased with that one :) -
I don't like him.
I hatey hatey hatey him
lordy, I'm singing again
but really, can we just ditch him round about now?
Cause James was so sweet yet slightly self-centred I suppose, but still flinty wasn't supposed to do that.
Mary and James were going to kiss and fall in love and have little mini Jameses and Marys and they'd be adorable and ...
ok maybe not that fast and maybe it might still happen (ie. it will because you love me and even if you weren't planning on it happening it now will, although I think you were going to anyway- great minds think alike!)
but really you can tell she knows he's not right for her, but he's just gr
k, I'm going to stop that bit before I malfunction- perfectly capable of happening
and oh gosh I've written a lot only 2461 characters left!
oh look! even less now!
I'm so very, very clever :)
HALLOWEEN! who doesn't like Hogwarts Halloween???
NO-ONE! ! !
I personally don't really like muggle Halloween, as I never went trick or treating as a kid and prefer chocolate to sweets-have I mentioned I LOVE chocolate?-
BUT, I LOVE THE HOGWARTS VERSION!
from yours I ESPECIALLY love James dragging Mary around, it sounds so typical James. which I love by the way, I love typical James. almost as much this wonderful, beautiful story-which I am deeply in love with, as you know :) .
I've just realised something; I've spent the majority of this telling you how much I love it. and now I've just realised how true that is though. I love your story how ever many others I read, I end up coming back to this, and that's because you are truly an AMAZING writer.
okay your probably having a small maybe, more probably a big, laughing attack.
I'm right, aren't I?
do you why I'm right?
I'M BEHIND YOU! ! ! ! ! ! !
really, turn around!
... awww. jokes!
nah, I just know you're laughing cuz you lurve me, like a never ending chocolate bar and a book that had both all your favourites plus this in it and wasn't any heavier than the longest harry potter book. By the way if neither of those appeal to you, I'm disowning you. I'm sorry ,but it is was it is.
and that is the truth.
would you like some great news by the way, one its taken me two days to write this, and now I'm no longer hyper on chocolate but a mix of 'cool' Doritos and M&S' chocolate cookies, which whilst I know you live in brazil and you probs don't have M&S, I think that if you visit England you must, must buy some. they are delicious! the triple chocolate ones though, because the others don't have nearly enough chocolate ;). Two I'm nearly done don't worry :)
because...(dramatic pause)... I've just realised another two things, one,
I spent a lot of this saying pretty much the same things but oh well, you love me (that being one of them ;) )
I'm running out of space!
ok as I'm about to run out of room, and I never got to list all my fav things about this story, I'm just quickly going to say
how much I hope you'll be back soon and that I hope you are okay and that I love both you and this story
please reply ASAP, even if that's not for a while yet
lots of love
from me xxx
HHHEEELOOO! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I HAVE RETURNED!
YOU PROBS MISSED ME!
BUT I'M HERE NOW!
SO YOU CAN'T BE ANGRY!
and I'll tell you why you can't be angry,
BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T UPDATED SINCE FLIPPYDIPPY SETEMBER!
for you anyway people should be used to me disappearing but you are a different matter
I've seen the reviews the others have been leaving and you haven't replied to a single one!
And yet you're probably disappointed of me for not reviewing the last chapter of being us like I said I would
but I did, and the reason it was going to be so special was because I was determined to fill the full 6000 characters, which at first I over but then I got it to fit-I in fact made it 70shorter but it still wouldn't accept it, so I left it for the night and when I came back literally under 24hours later, my laptop had restarted itself and deleted my web history. YAY-NOT. and basically I kept telling myself I'd redo it but then school starts and they tell us that one of my friends is in hospital with cancer and then a few weeks later she died-just after you put chapter 13 of this up. and just like before I left my last review, I couldn't bring myself to read and HPFF, especially this one, because I thought I'd ruin it for myself-something I meant to tell you in that other review but didn't-sorry.
anyways you probs don't care about any of that I just thought I'd TRY to explain myself, but you know IS IT TOO LATE TO SAY SORRY!?
CAUSE I'M MISSING MORE THAN JUST YOUR STORY!
k I kinda gave up on the lyrics but
also by the way,
I LOVE JAMES POV.
like seriously I might have to divorce the jar of nutella my friends married me to. that or just cheat on it. because seriously I don't care if its your story I'M marrying it I you like it or not, that's ME not You. see that? I just beat you t marrying your own story. HA!
like, you can carry on writing it, I mean I need you to, you speak/write in LucyZi is freaking amazing
anyways I have a lot of reading to do and you've got a lot of reviews to answer, and more chapters to write and a chapter of mine to read.
can't believe you didn't, but hey you're forgiven because hell its taken me this long.
but seriously get on with it and return my entertain relies on you writing about an idiot called flint and another called Mary-she's in love and doesn't realise it and James-in yours he's not that bad but at the same time he doesn't think he's in love sooo... oh and also it means me getting write lovely long reviews that probs drives you mad having to read a load of gibberish but it saves me from doing my homework I've got to A3 pieces of paper to fill with something I'm bad at-art- why, why, why didn't I drop it :(
I love it, you are invited to the wedding
I love you, you write good
from me xxx xxx
Omg where are you? I love this story so much, I hope you haven't abandoned it! It's been forever, please update soon!
Omg it's meee! Have you missed me? I know it's been a while! (I know, I'm so funny)
Okay, Mary is literally me when it comes to exercise! Seriously, I hate running, and they used to try and make me in school, but I refused! (Well, not really, but I tried).
And I think it's kind of sweet that James stays before and after practice to exercise! He seems like he's not doing anything, but he's really doing twice as much as anyone else! I love it!
Masculine but cute butt? I don't know why but this killed me! I don't think anyone actually talks like that, and I would absolutely die if my friend told someone I said that!
Also, I'm pretty sure I know all of the dorks by now! It's super exciting! I'm super happy someone else is crazy enough to make tons of OCs so I'm not alone!
I think I'm your 100th review! (Unless someone posts before I do, which would make me mad) Yay! We should throw a party! 100 reviews! Woohoo!
hey hey hey
wish all your chapters were longer they always end too soon!! hahaaa ;P
CAN THEY JUST KISS AGAIN ALREADY??
WOW James ERM over reacted a bit, loved it tho! it made me laugh a lot what also made me laugh is that at the end James went down to apologise right? but did he get changed? i don't know might have misread its late and I'm tired.
I just want lots of Mary and James moments lots and lots
Also random thing I love Rose and Scorp!
Need some Dom action (if Mary and Flint are over isn't it time for her to do her part of the deAL)
all the love and hugs
AANNOYED AT MYSELF FOR NOT READING AND REVIEWING SOONER!! UGH SORRY!!! Tomorrow is my first day off work for like over 2 weeks and I've been working 9-5 most days! life is busy busy busy!
HOWEVER this chapter was fabulous and amazing
and I HATE FLINT
i mean I hated him before but now I REALYY hate him! ugh
too many things i want to say! but i have another of your chapters to read and review before I sleep so speak then!
Oh my gosh, I think I logged on as soon as this updated, it's like fate!
Woohoo partay! I love party scenes so much, I would put them in all of my chapters if I could. But, ugh! You just had to cut it short! It's okay I still loved it! (But you should totally try to do another party where all of the dorks and Snow get super plastered! That would be hilarious)
Not a single mention of the kiss?!?! Why do you do this to me! Why?! I can't even! They're supposed to talk about it and then get together forever! I guess now I'll have to wait...
Finally Lily and Jeremy! But James! No! Ugh, stupid older protective brothers! Just let the poor girl be! (It's not like he never kissed a teammate ;)!)
Aww, James listens to Snow! He's so cute! Why does Snow not see that?!?!
I'll impatiently be waiting your update (as usual...)
p.s. OMG is your chapter image Ashleigh from Greek ? Please tell me I'm right! I love her!
Hey lucyzi! I'm back again! I'm pretty sure I'm just going to review all of your chapters! (I'm procrastinating doing like four major projects...)
I love going back and rereading stories and noticing details I hadn't before! Snow is seriously the best. If I had been in her situation, I would've tried to avoid catching the snitch for as long as possible too!
I think Grouchy is my fave dork (is it wrong to pick one?) And I love his little crush on Dom. It's always great to see a dorky boy get the popular girl!
You totally break all of the cliché stereotypes with this story. Having a bunch of dorks suddenly befriend the popular crew is so cute!
And James! He's absolutely mental! I understand why he was mad at Snow, but he was the one who wanted her to tryout in the first place. Gosh, sometimes boys can be so stupid!
Anyways, this chapter, as always, fabulous. My questions is how did you manage to continually update two awesome stories without having too long of a wait? (I posted my second story, and I already find it impossible to keep up with both of them, especially considering the queue) You're freaking amazing!
"I had notice he did seemed"
-I had noticed he seemed
"why did you have to remember me about him"
"trying for the seeker spot where"
"them loose balance"
"than passed right in front"
"This fist week"
"The fist voice said again"
"But how could them"
"Haven't he heard my mental note"
-Hadn't he heard my mental note
"Why did my sweet dear cousin shouted at you"
"Grouchy said finally stopping to tickle me"
-Grouch said and finally stopped tickling me
Snow is so sassy, I love it! And you are so good in naturally adding all of your OCs into the scene. I always feel like I struggle with that. Even though I still forget which dork is which, I still think you do a good job incorporating them in.
And yes, just so you know, I forget my OCs all of the time. Sometimes I have to scroll back through multiple chapters to find their names/descriptions, but I find that the more I write, the better I know them. However, I can't be entirely sure that the reader does...
"Who owned two brooms? He only had one butt!"
Best quote ever! I laughed so hard at this, and I'm not even sorry! :)
Gosh, James is so arrogant, but I'm not going to pretend I don't love him. I personally love stories where he is a complete pr*ck at first.
I'm happy you weren't upset with my last review! I took four years of Spanish (I quit last year, thank god), and I couldn't do the imperfect tense, let alone write an entire story in it. The fact the you can is so freaking awesome! I'm forever jealous! Did you lean English in school, or did you just learn it because you wanted to?
You have a puppy too! Mine is like seven months old now, and she's an absolute monster (she's a black lab and super hyperactive)! I love golden retrievers, they're so cute!
Oh, just in case you were wondering, 'dam' is a word, but is a house that beavers build. I always got confused by that, and 'damn' doesn't make sense to me, but I guess rules are rules.
"Like you where when you said my friends where freaks?"
"the only two seats left in History of Magic where not so close to each other"
"I've woken up"
-I woke up
"Cheerful chocked on his chicken"
That's really all I found, but I'm super tired and may have missed some. Seriously though, I love love this story, and I'm super excited for your update!
p.s. When is your third story coming out? I'm pretty excited for it!
WE NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER. LIKE NOW!I'm in love with this...
Author's Response: Queue is finally open, the next chapter is coming!! Yey!
Thanks Jakob, this was such a sweet reply! I hope all when well on your job hunt (although I know how hard it is...) well, I'm sending you good vibes straight from Brazil so I'm sure something great is coming with my chapter ;)
All my love,
Look at me! I'm here at the first chapter! Why, you ask? Well, I just had a double shift and I have the morning shift tomorrow, so naturally, I can't sleep! The queue has been closed, so I've been rereading old stories, and I started rereading yours! ! !
Snow totally get it. I'm so sick of reading stories about gorgeous, flawless OCs. Like, that does not happen in real life! And all of your adorably dorky OCs are the best! I love them all! ! ! ! Is it hard for you to develop them in your story? Because I always find that happen with me. (Why do we have so many OCs again???)
Okay, so you know I absolutely love this story, right? Okay, good.
Now, I know you're from Brazil (which is totally awesome- honestly, you've got better writing skills than people native to English), so I hope you don't mind me pointing out some mistakes. Actually, most of them are probably just typos, which pretty much everyone has.
"we'll never watch this dam thing"
"All tight, all right, I'll hold him."
All tight- all right
"But I diverse"
I think you meant 'But I digress
"Jimmy asked duly"
"during all this brutal"
"literally pilled all my pimples"
"made me fell into the ground"
made me fall onto the ground
"this 'lovely' mourning"
"would have catch it"
"I may at least make some money out of it!"
I should at least make some money out of it
"he's been dropped as a child"
he was dropped as a child
"I was completely relive "
"the chock in all Wotter's face "
chock- shock, face- faces
"the nerves on those "
"I said seating next to Drowsy "
"specially on summer "
especially in the summer
"making a discussed face "
"which was kind of a relieve"
I hope you don't think I'm rude. I just wanted to point out some things I saw. Obviously, most of them were just typos, and they can be really hard to pick up on when you edit your own chapters. I've been rewriting some of my old chapters, and their are so many mistakes, it's embarrassing to think I actually posted them.
The little mistake you made in no way impact how great this chapter was, so don't feel obligated to change anything. However, I do think you may have had some run on sentence. I can't help you there because I splice commas so bad, and sometime my sentences make no sense. If you want to fix them, I would suggest looking up some comma rules, but really your story is fabulous no matter what!
I hope I wasn't too rude because this is one of my faves! I just thought I'd try to help!
Okay, I'm going to review the other chapters, but right now my puppy is trying to type in my laptop, so I have to give her attention!
Author's Response: Oh my god you're so sweet!!
I can't believe you started reading my story again :)
I know right? I honestly can't stand flawless OCs, that's why I relate with Snow so much, well that and the fact that she's one hell of a strong girl (you go Snow!!)
I told you, we are absolute lunatics to create so many OCs, it's so freakishly hard keeping up with them all and come on, J.K. already gave us a lot of next generation characters to work with, why couldn't we just decide to work with them?? Well, what's done is done.. hahah
Have you ever forget a few of your OCs? I swear that every time I have all my dorks in one scene I have to keep scrolling all the way to the top to take a look at their names again and be sure I have them all.
Ok, now for the most important thing I have to say to you in this review: don't you ever, ever feel bad for pointing out my mistakes, I absolutely love when people do that, why, you ask?
1 - It shows me that you care, that you not only like and read this chapter, but you read it carefully and took the time to help me;
2 - Because it's one of the best opportunities I have to improve my English, yes, many of my mistakes are typos or weird words that I let slip (once I called the cloak of invisibility the clock of invisibility, yeah... pretty embarrassing, thank god someone saved me...) but there are a few words that you're actually teaching me, or words that I have a problem with that I keep spelling wrong and when people keep correcting me I get them once and for all, for example: damn (why on earth isn't it 'dam'? It'd be so much easier!!). Also "But I diverse" instead of "digress" might probably be on a hundred of my chapters... damn... (see? Already learning!);
3 - Reason number 1 again.
All in all I think that what I'm trying to say is: thank you!! I'm going to correct them right now!
Thanks goodness my puppy is asleep by my side (he's a three months old Golden Retriever - I hope you guys call it that as well) and he's behaving like a plague! I swear, he's impossible at this age, but so, so, so cute!!
Anyway, I really wanted to thank you for all the amazing help!
All my love,
What are you doing to me!! I had to read this chapter like five times before I could even form a proper word! Oh My God!! What??!!
Um, okay, I think I can write a review now. Nope. Still dying.
I guess I'll start with Flint. I hate him, but I kind of saw this coming. But seriously, I hate him. That whole bet thing reminded me of She's All That. I don't know if you've seen it, but it had that whole nerd turned beauty thing. But that movie had a happy ending, and the guy was much better than stupid Flint. Sorry (not really) I hate him!
Okay now for what I've been dying about. Ahem.
OH MY GOD JAMES! WHAT!??!?!??! I LOVE HIM!
He kissed Snow/ Mary, and it was so sweet and cute. He's so sweet and cute! Can I have him? Too late, I'm taking him! And he knows! And he's her prince charming! I just want them together now!
I officially can't breathe now.
Oh, by the way, I have like three papers to write, but I came to read this, so none of that is getting done. It's all your fault if I fail! (Just kidding, I love you!)
Well, I'm off to read this again!
Author's Response: Oh my God I literally rolled in laughter with the beginning of your review, ahahaha amazing!!
Who on their right mind hasn't watched 'she's all that' a billion times?!?! The only thing that this movie is not better than is Greek (which come on!!), period!
Flint: I think I really built it not to be a surprise but it's awesome to know that I didn't drop the ball on the way things happened and from your reaction I'll take it you liked it (or hated it, because the guy is a true jerk).
I DIDN'T DROP THE BALL ON JAMES FOR YOU!!!
Yep, that means a lot because you're a James person!! Gosh, I'd hate to ruin him for you, that'd be a nightmare...
James kissed Snow!!! A stolen quick peck, a way for him to show that he cares but at the same time respecting Snow's space at a delicate moment (can I insert smiles with hearts in their eyes here?! I'm mentally inserting them...)
Pf, you won't fail!! I'm positively sure of it, you'll get like an A+, especially with your writing abilities!
Hahaha I loved the way you ended this review, just as great as it started:
"Well, I'm off to read this again!"
Peace right back at ya!
Okay, so I haven't reviewed the previous chapters but I thought I should it for this one because it honestly deserved it! The characters are so well developed and the story actually seems to have a plot rather than getting the guy and girl together almost immediately. You're an amazing writer who has a lot of potential for writing your own novel one day. P.S I love dom, she's an amazing addition as I've never really read much about her character in all the other fanfics I have read. I know its pretty long for a review but I felt the need to pour my heart out :')
Oh and James is phenomenal
Author's Response: Hey Maria!
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me this amazing review, it really means the world to me, especially coming from someone who's clearly been reading my story for a while :)
You've actually said to me everything that I'm certain every writer wants to hear, thank you so, so much for putting such faith in me. If I do write my own novel someday I'll definitely dedicate it to you guys!
Hahaha I'm so glad you like Dom! I was just starting to get a little worried that she might be a little exaggerated as a character, you know, being so bossy and all, but at the same time I really like her too, she has a strong character, yes, but I like her way of showing she cares, it's so unique.
I really like James and I love how little by little we start discovering more and more about him, in the beginning we'd only see James though Snow's eyes, now I guess she's starting to discover the real James behind the famous Potter boy, and therefore, so are we.
I'd thank you again but I might really come off as a lunatic here since that's the only thing I seem to be writing to you, but honestly: thank you!! Hahahah sorry...
I really hope to read from you again.
All my love,
Ps: For me there are no long or small reviews, all I see is people caring about the story I'm writing :)
Well this was an eventful chapter!! First off the secret that came out about Flints interest in Mary was done well because although I wasn't altogether shocked I thought the way she found out was realistic and from his character what he was doing was also realistic. I really really liked both James and Mary's reactions to it because she would be upset enough to cry, it's a really hurtful thing and he was so angry but it showed how much he cared and so yeah I really liked that. AND THEY KISSED!! I would have liked a slightly more detailed kiss scene ngl haha but since it was there first one and under unusual circumstances I think the way you wrote it works but clearly things can't be straightforward for them so I'm interested to see how they'll end up reacting to it. The game was good and not too long lived haha but Mary caught it and probably my favourite part of the chapter was James closing line because it was cryptic but truthful and she knows that he understands the nicknames now and yeah I'm really really excited for the next chapter but again amazing job!! Just two last things 1) a couple of times in this chapter you put 'fell' rather than 'feel', I didn't make a note of exactly where but if you can't find what I'm talking about then let me know in your reply and in my next review I'll help you out! 2) you mentioned in your A/N at the end about ticking the read chapter, I was just wondering, if you don't tick it does that mean it isn't shown as a read to you, because if so I hadn't realised that. Yeah that's all for this one, loved it!
Author's Response: Hey Beka!!
I'm so glad that even though the discovery of Flint betting on Snow wasn't a shocker you still liked the chapter. I think I really built it not to be a surprise but it's awesome to know that I didn't drop the ball on the way things happened. I thought a lot if Snow should cry or not, but it also seemed realistic to me the way it ended up happening, at a certain point in my writing it just seemed natural.
James is such a sweaty, really... he was insanely mad but he knew that at that moment he needed to be there for Snow instead of punching Flint or whatever.
They sort of kissed!! Don't worry about it not being detailed, it was supposed to be exactly what it was, sort of a stolen quick peck, a way for James to show that he cares but at the same time respecting Snow's space at a delicate moment.
It's great knowing that you liked the game, it's so hard to write a quidditch scene... and well, we already had a quidditch chapter so I thought making it shorter would be for the best :)
I know that I wrote this chapter so this may sound insanely weird but I'm absolutely in love with the way it ends:
"He's not your prince charming Snow."
I just love it...
Thanks again for pointing out another typo! I think the queue will reopen tomorrow so I'll be able to edit the chapter and make it right! You've been so great helping me, I couldn't thank you enough!
As for your last question, yes, unfortunately I only know if someone read the chapter if you check the 'read chapter' box, which sucks because it's insanely tiny and no one knows about it... also it will only appear for me as many as you checked, I really wonder how many people are actually reading my story...
Thanks again for this awesome review!!
All my love,
I loved how this chapter was a girls night so we got some proper interaction between just the three girls and it was a typical, painting nails and rule informing night which is one of those things that is like a warm fuzzy feeling if you know what I mean haha.
Dom was portrayed so well in this chapter, seriously I really liked how down to earth she was and her reaction to the thought of Paul was good too! Also I totally ship Debby and Freddie like 100%.
And in terms of the rules themselves I thought they were accurate because they weren't impossible to follow but they all had a good reason for being there.
So overall I liked this chapter and I just love this story in general!
Author's Response: Hey Beka!!
I'm so glad you liked 'Girls Night', I really felt like a little interaction between the girls was missing but at the same time I was afraid that no one would like it since there's no James or dorks in this chapter. There's just no being a girl without this moments, right?
I really like Dom too, I'm aware that she can be too bossy sometimes, but I loved how she dealt with Mary in this chapter, how she is her friend enough to just question what she's doing with Flint, you know? Dom and Paul, Debby and Freddy, are we going to see those couples?? (insert mystery song here).
In the end I only came up with simple rules, but they're basically the ones being followed everywhere, right? I love how long Dom and Debby took to create them though, ahahah .
Thanks again for another amazing review!!
All my love,
Today I was supposed to find a job. Today I was bored and clicked this story, I'v really missed the HP Fandom. This was marvelous! My new favorite thing to read on internet. Also on another note your spelling tenses could be better; it might be an accident but through out the chapters I have noticed these mistakes. I would suggest a Beta Reader or something. Anyway, I look forward to reading some more and now because if this story I will probably start writing my own, bugger.
Author's Response: Hi Jakob, welcome to Puberty and Her Seven Dorks!
I'm so glad you found my story in the middle of so many good ones, it really is a privilege to have you here :)
I know that my spelling tense could be better but here's the thing: I'm actually from Brazil so English is not my first language... I know this is not such a great excuse since I decided to write in English but I really am learning a lot, unfortunately, that requires you guys (my amazing readers) to be a little patient with my spelling mistakes. I get really happy when people correct me in the reviews, so feel free to send me a couple of corrections if you can :)
I have the next chapter ready but the website isn't letting me submit it for some reason, it should be fixed soon though so hopefully it won't take long till chapter thirteen is up.
I really hope to read from you again.
Happy job hunting, happy reading and happy writing!
All my love,
I knew Mary would realize that Flint wasn't a good guy. What makes it even better was that James was there... And that they kissed! Yay for James for taking action.
I wonder what they bet on and more importantly why?!
Author's Response: FINALLY!!
I love this chapter because it's finally full of 'finallys' :)
I'm so glad that you liked it, I think that learning what Flint was up to wasn't a surprise to anyone, but I'm so glad that everyone responded so well to this chapter :) Thank you!
I think they say in the chapter that they're betting money. Why? Well, because they're sixteen years old boys... unfortunately, that's a reason...
Thanks again for being here with me on every chapter cocopops, it means the world to me :)
All my love,
aw Mary and James :)
but FLINT ughh. and James being there for her/with her :)
"'He's not your prince charming Snow.'"
:) that line is everything :)
I just adore Mary and James they would be so cute together
Author's Response: MalfoyMannor!!
I missed you! I hope you are well :)
You captured everything on this chapter because there is one thing, and one thing only:
"He's not your prince charming Snow"
Do you think Mary is going to freak out??
Ahahah I'm sorry to leave you with a question, we shall soon know... ;)
All my love,
Hey :) its been while since I reviewed. I didn't forget about this story of course. I really do love it. Flint is such a Slytherin it's horrible. James is wonderful. i hope Mary isn't mad. If she is I will gladly take James :). You know this past September 1st was James first year at Hogwarts. I hope all is well. Happy Writing
Author's Response: Hey Manda!
We should totally start an "I want James" club, I know I'd be in line so hopefully Mary won't want him, right? ;)
I'm so glad you didn't forget this story and you still love it! I really hope that you enjoy my next chapter (for some reason the website isn't letting me post it, but it should soon be fixed...).
I know!! First day of James in Hogwarts was this year! I almost cried... did you see that they announced the Hogwarts Express on Kings Cross? I wish I could have been there...
Thanks for another amazing review!
I hope to read from you soon.
All my love,
Hi sorry i didn't read this till now I've been super busy, i may still be on summer holidays but I'm not going back to school now so I've got an apprenticeship, college and a job and also hospital appointments which seem to be taking up my life, yay haha.
This chapter was super cute i loved it! i can't wait for her to dump Flint already! ugh he is a plonker and I'm looking forward to the next chapter from the snippet haha.
Also terribly excited about debby and freddie totally adorable cannot wait till something happens with that! but the cutest bestest things are paul and dom! and mary finally realising ish that she may like james.. too much cuteness tbh! lordness all the hugs dear
don't worry if i don't review straight away because i will always be back haha
Author's Response: Hey Shan!!
Yes, I'm fully aware of how long it's been and I'm really, really sorry. I'm actually having a lot of trouble getting my chapters approved, my latest one has been rejected twice already... I know, I'm nearly crying here especially because I really wanted to be nominated for the Dobby awards but I need a chapter approved on September - I think - hopefully, really hopefully I'll get it approved before September 7 and fingers crossed for a nomination.
Now, enough of my jibber-jabber, where were we? Well clearly there's no reason for you to apologize since I'm taking really longer than usual with replies and chapter validations. Hahaha I know exactly how you fell, you get all excited about vacations and then you have to do all check-ups and end up spending your days moving from doctors to doctors...
Please let the next chapter be approved so that we can FINALLY discover what's going on with Flint! Spoiler alert: I have high hopes for our next chapter!
I know!! I got really excited about the idea of Paul and Dom, but hey, she made it clear that she's not doing anything until Snow dumps Flint, which ok, I know Dom can be bossy, but the girl has a point here!
I know you'll always come back, you're my faithful reviewer forever.
Love you Shan, sorry again, life is not being easy on me...
All my love and hugs,
Yay! You're back!! Where have you been?!?! I've missed you!
Anyway, I read this when it first came out, and I swear I reviewed, but I guess not. Blame it on my puppy, she's super whiny!
I loved this chapter; I love girl talk, which I'm sure Snow doesn't get much of considering she's friends with all boys!
I miss James though! Is he coming back soon? Are they finally going to get together? I'm dying here!!!
I'd also like to see more of the dorks. Trust me, I know the struggle of having too many OCs and trying to put them all in the story. Sometimes I forget about some of them for a few chapters and then stick them in somewhere.
Okay, just to reaffirm, I loved this!! I'll be back soon!
Author's Response: Hey xoxo_jpotter!
I can't even begin to apologize to you!! Life has been completely crazy over here and I'm really trying to focus on getting my chapters approved, I've already been rejected twice for my new one, which is incredibly sad because noy only are you guys waiting and dying to know what happened, but Dobby Awards are up!
That's why I haven't reviewed your new hundreds of chapters yet, I haven't actually read them (please understand how much the suspense is killing me though. and know that one day I'll be back reviewing all of them!)
James is coming back, I promise! But yeah, I thought we really needed a little giel time in this story, Mary is getting really close with the girls and I wanted to really show that, you know?
I'm getting to my dorky boys, it's so good that you understand how hard it is to get everyone on every chapter! Gosh, why did we create so many OCs again? Ahahaha just kidding, I absolutely love my dorks, I just wanna make sure that the story is going somewhere, you know?
I'm so glad you loved this chapter!! Spoiler alert: I have high hopes for the next one, I just really hope it's approved soon.
All my love,
This was such a good chapter! The only thing I'd have preferred is if it was longer, like maybe some more non-Mary interactions at the party or something but I loved the crazy dancing and description of the costumes would have been cool too, just to help visualise the characters easier but James being a prince was clever and I like the hints about the idea of Debby and Freddie, also how Freddie continues to wear the same costume, that was funny! Mary calling James James now is definitely a step forward too. I really enjoyed reading this one!
Author's Response: Yey!! I'm so happy you liked this chapter! You're not the first one to point out that I should have made it a little longer and get a little bit more into the party, I know, I kind of chickened out because I thought it was really hard writing about a party, sorry... well at least I admit it, right? Now I know that if we have another party I'll have to face my fear :)
You may have realized that apart from the dorks and James costume I wasn't very creative with wizard costumes, oh well, what can I say? We don't really celebrate Halloween here in Brazil... I'm glad you liked Freddy wearing the same costume over and over again, ahahah boys are just even less creative than I am with costumes ;)
Mary calling James 'James' is such a step forward and it makes it really easier for me, I have real trouble into calling people by their surname, even in writing (I know, I'm weird.)
I wasn't really sure about Debby and Freddy because I haven't really put that many hints before, but then again this story is being told by Mary's perspective and she didn't really realize it before, so that's got to count for something, right?
Thanks again for another amazing review Beka! I'm so glad you're back!
I know I've been a little off with chapter updates, but I'm glad to announce that I published the next one on Saturday, now we're only waiting for it to be approved :)
Again: all my love,
So another good chapter like always! I really really loved it being in James' POV and I would definitely like to see more of it, we really get an insight into his mind and it makes his seem more relatable, more human and just nicer really. I also really loved the interaction with him and his cousins, especially him&Freddie and him&Rose! Tbh this was one of my favourite chapters so far! The last few chapters have been amazingly well written with no typos and although this was still written amazingly I found quite a few so if you want to correct them I'm going to write the paragraph number (para 1 doesn't start from the recap but from the following bit), the word that's slightly wrong and then the correction:
Para 2: 'thrust' - 'trust'
3: 'was decided' - no 'was'
30: 'sound' - 'sounds'
41: 'without second' - 'without a second'
71: 'thong' - 'tongue'
73: 'this would' - 'these would'
90: 'yeap' - either 'yep' or 'yeah'
92: 'dam' - 'damn'
94: 'brow' - 'bro'
97: 'point' - 'points'
111: 'mention' - 'attempt' and 'breed' - 'brew' and 'due to' - 'due at'
2nd to last para: 'thrust' - 'trust'
In no way am I trying to sound better by correcting you, I genuinely am trying to be helpful and once again tell me not to if you don't want the typos corrected because I understand that it really isn't that important. Also there's a chance I got the para number slightly off but hopefully you'll find them anyway if I did! It was amazing though!
Author's Response: Ok, first of all THANK YOU!
You have no idea how much it means to me that you took the time to correct all my grammar mistakes (and write me the paragraphs!). I don't know if you noticed but I already took a few of them into consideration when replying your other reviews (such as damn). As you know English is not my first language (clearly) and it really, really helps.
I already submitted this chapter for approval again with the corrections you pointed out. I also corrected my entire document, so hopefully you won't be seeing thing same mistakes again in the future (fingers crossed).
I'm so glad this chapter made James seem more relatable, that was truly my intention with it, humanize him, you know? Seeing James only from Mary's perspective might give an impression about him that's not necessarily who he is. Puberty is definitely a time of pride and prejudice...
I have to admit that I missed a little more James/ Fred interaction in this chapter, I mean they're supposed to be best mates... but as I said before it's kind of hard keeping track and writing about all the characters I created (or the ones J.K. Rowling created, because let's face it, there's already a few ;)) and move forward with my plot.
Typos corrections really are important to me Beka and I want to assure you that in no way you made me feel bad about my writing or my story. To be honest I'm kind of proud that those are the mistakes I'm making, I mean, sure I should know how to spell 'damn' or 'tongue' already, but in all honesty my greatest achievement will always be the fact that I'm writing a story in English and everyone seem to be able to follow it :)
I honestly appreciate you taking the time to correct me, as I said before it really helps me became a better writer and improve my English, to me the fact that you so carefully took the time to correct my mistakes means that you really like this story, all in all, I couldn't be happier :)
I'm not going to thank you again because I might be becoming slightly creepy right now, so...
...All my love,