2015-03-17 23:02:31
Treacherous thoughts. Don't pay much attention to the rating, if it shows.
2015-03-17 23:02:31
I liked the story but I think it over simplified Harry and Hermione's relationship and it ignored that Harry and Hermione argued nearly as much as Ron and Hermione though if completely differing ways. Ron and Hermione's arguments get way overblown in fandom because Harry is the POV and Harry and Hermione get ignored. But if the books were from Ron's POV I bet it would be "Why do Harry and Hermione snipe at each other so often.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review; you're right, of course, that I'm oversimplifying Ron and Hermione's relationship, trying to pack a lot into a very short story. This fic was based in large part on what JKR revealed in a recent interview (check it out if you haven't seen it, it's great!). She speculates that Ron might not be able to make Hermione happy, that maybe Harry and Hermione were a better match, and that R/H will probably be ok with some relationship counseling. This fic was my way of exploring her ideas while still sticking to canon (I'm not really able to write or think outside canon for whatever reason!).

Another thing that was on my mind when writing this: the relationships we dream and speculate about are always better than the ones we actually pursue, because they exist in the idealized world of the mind. So Harry and Hermione definitely would have had plenty of problems if they had actually ended up together; their relationship is idealized here precisely because it never really comes to pass.

Thanks for reviewing :)
2015-03-17 23:02:31
I now see that all I had to do was go to the next chapter to see more of the wedding.

Seeing Harry be really and truly happy is so nice. We were with him for seven books, but he was hardly ever really happy. Reading about him watching his friends and his new in-laws was so sweet.

I like how Harry recognizes everything that Hermione did for him. Of course Ron is his best mate and Ginny is his wife, but Hermione contributed so much. (And not just when they were hunting Horcruxes, but in all of their adventures up to that point. The events of Prisoner of Azkaban would not have been possible without her, for example.)

I will make the same suggestion I made in the previous chapter: longer chapters please! You have a lovely writing style and I would like to get to read about longer passages of time.

Very well done. =)

- Rhaenyra
(for the HPFF fundraising review challenge)

Author's Response: Cheers! Thanks for all your input on this fic!
Me again. =)

This was short and sweet. Compared to the previous chapters it was very fluffy, which was a nice change of pace.

Seeing the two girls bonding was nice and something I don't think gets enough attention. The fact that Ginny chose Hermione as her maid of honour was fitting and the comment about Hermione needing to use a whole bottle of potion to tame her hair would probably be accurate, if what we learned from the Yule Ball holds true.

I like how you made Ginny confident in her decision rather than nervous. I'm sure some people are nervous on their wedding day, but I was not at all on mine and it is nice to see that represented as well.

The only thing I would suggest would be making the chapters slightly longer. I want to know more about what happens!

Onto the last chapter now.

- Rhaenyra
(for the HPFF fundraising review challenge)

Author's Response: Thanks :):)
Four chapters up!? I could have sworn that when I reviewed the first chapter earlier there was only one. Either I'm going crazy or the queue time is really short!

I like that you showed Hermione and Ron having some difficulties in their relationship. So often in stories you only see the good times and things being easy, or everything is over the top. You managed to keep it realistic: there is a problem, they have a bit of a spat, but they try to address it. Seeing as there were so many ups and downs during their relationship at Hogwarts, I am not surprised to see that it continued into their dating life. (I would have been shocked if it didn't!) This also ties in nicely with what JKR said about thinking Hermione and Ron would need to put a lot of effort into their relationship.

It is not important in the grand scheme of things, but I have to say that I love the name Wenton Wiggins. Something about the alliteration and not-quite-normal-names makes me picture a slightly eccentric wizard. Perfect naming for a self-help author in the wizarding world!

This helps expand Ron and Hermione's romantic relationship, which we see so little of, nicely. =)

- Rhaenyra
(for the HPFF fundraising review challenge)

Author's Response: Hello again! Thanks for reviewing. I actually struggled to make the last chapter long enough for HPFF to accept! Sometimes I get stuck in drama mode and can't find the right dialogue or descriptors to create a longer scene that fits the tone. Dialogue is probably my weakest point as it is. But thanks for the encouragement to try longer chapters. I have another fic idea that I was considering rewriting for longer chapters, might go ahead and try it out :)
I was not entirely sure of what to expect with this, but I though that it seemed interesting. A potential "missing moment" sort of thing from DH seemed appealing and I'm glad I gave it a shot.

You managed to keep Harry and Hermione in character in this story, which is always a good thing! I especially liked Hermione's line about how Harry was FINALLY reading A History of Magic. It is so true... he made it through five years of History of Magic class without ever really reading the book (he didn't even know the author for crying out loud!), yet here he is. Ah Harry, if only you would have paid attention in the first place you might have simplified things for yourself later!

You also managed to keep to the canon pairings of H/G and R/Hr, but the tension between Harry and Hermione fit in here wonderfully. It seems only natural to me that a couple of lonely, isolated teenagers who have nobody else to rely on but each other would develop feelings for each other over the course of their time alone. Yet, it is abundantly clear that both of them still had feelings for the two Weasleys they were not with.

The last few lines of this were very poignant. The fact that it was not really romantic but felt like home, yet they both couldn't stop thinking about each other makes for quiet a mess. Yet, for them, the mess fits.

I really enjoyed this. =)

- Rhaenyra
(for the HPFF fundraising review challenge [the goal is to review new authors/people you don't recognize from the forums, don't worry about whether or not you've donated!])

Author's Response: I admit it...I can't really deviate from canon, I just can't do it! To be honest, I never really considered the depth of Harry and Hermione's relationship until I read JKR's recent interview. This fic is a sort of hashing out of the points she raised about what pulls Harry and Hermione together, while staying true to canon. Three chapters to follow based on the same interview!

Anyway, thanks so much for the kind review and for helping spread the enthusiasm for the HPFF fundraiser. :)
2015-03-16 22:36:21
Hello! This is my first review for the HPFF fundraising challenge, and I'm so glad I picked this story! Your summary really grabbed me, with its kind of bittersweet sense of acceptance. I will always ship HarMony, in my secretest heart of hearts, but canon non-compliance always throws me. But this! I really believe this happening--just, of COURSE this happened! The language throughout was really beautiful, and the moment felt incredibly relatable. Like, I think anyone who's ever been a teenager has had an 'almost,' and CIRCUMSTANCE DICTATES that this would happen.

I especially liked 'It was hard to say who broke the spell first. Maybe they both did.' Like, especially when you ship something (which I do), restraint can be a difficult thing. But it was SO GOOD for that restraint, and made the story all the more potent.

I wonder if you've read 'My Antonia' by Willa Cather? It's my favorite book, and this summary reminded me of it. Like, the manner in which I ship HarMony is very similar to how that story functions, which is why I was so drawn.

The only constructive criticism I can offer is that I think it would be stronger if you stayed in Harry's POV, instead of head hopping--especially for such a short piece. I only even offer concrit because I edit stories like a maniac based on the feedback I receive, so definitely don't take it as a discouragement! The overall mastery of writing in this story was superb, and I'm so glad I read it!


Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review, and the constructive criticism as well (I love hearing tips like this from editors!) Never read My Antonia, but I will definitely give it a shot! :)


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