Reading Reviews for What's an Offside?
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Hodor Offside

12th June 2016:

Hodor hodor hodor.

Hodor hodor? Hodor!

Hodor hodor, hodor hodor: hodor hodor hodor.

Hodor hodor - hodor, hodor!

- Hodor

Author's Response: ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #2, by Mrs. Claus Offside

31st July 2015:
Mrs. Claus here, dealing out some last minute reviews!

I was a bit confused myself, never having played this game. Oh course, watching over as many kids as me and my husband do, we occasionally watch games, and of course numerous ask for footballs for Christmas. In fact, I'm fairly sure these two asked for one just the Christmas before this, but that was slightly off topic.

Anyway, for these students, I imagine it's even more confusing than it is to me!

Hannah and Dominique seem to be more than a bit off put, not being able to explain it in a way that relates. Perhaps they can round up some muggleborns and start a game to illustrate? Playing games is often more fun, and makes it easier to understand, than simply having the rules explained. Well, it's like that for a lot of things. I'm sure they would enjoy it, once they figure everything out.

Well, I must be off. There's much to do, and very little time left to do it! Keep a lookout, my friend over on the fourms will soon be making an announcement.

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Review #3, by The Master of the Puberty Spell Offside

1st June 2015:

While one of my identities may have been brave at some point, that same identity definitely doesn't know anything about football, and probably would be just as confused as everyone else who was attending this informational meeting. In fact, they'd probably be even more confused by it.

My other identity is actually a huge football fan, although they know more about playing the game than watching it. They played keeper on several teams for quite a long time...although that was before they mastered the puberty spell.

All in all I thought this was an excellent one-shot! I think you did a wonderful job of writing this scenario out, and I am in complete agreement, the offsides rule would easily be the most confusing thing possible to a Witch or Wizard, since there's nothing in Quidditch to compare!

I wonder what might've happened if Dominique brought them some way to watch a proper football game, so they could watch it in action. I think that would be lots of fun!

I absolutely adore the fact that you combined something that you feel very passionate about with the characters and Harry Potter world we all know and love here!

And thank you for this amusing story! I'll definitely refer to it next time I have to teach someone about...

Keep writing Branwen!

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Review #4, by Miss Quiet Girl Offside

10th April 2015:
Hi Branwen.

I'm Miss Quiet Girl. I don't think you've talked to me before, because ... well, I'm called Miss Quiet Girl for a reason. But hi! *waves*

I liked this story. Not sure why I never read it back when the HC was going on, but better late than never, right? It was a great way of solving the prompt. And I liked Hannah and Dominique, and their attempt at teaching soccer (who would've known it would be so difficult for wizards to understand the game? :P)

I used to play soccer when I was a kid, but now I just watch it (well, actually I just watch the World Cup, because that has the most exciting matches of the year). We're pretty bad at soccer, though. I don't think we've qualified since I was under 10 years old. Could be wrong, though.

But I don't truly undestand offside neither, so I can understand why that's hard to grasp. The rest however was just hilarious to read. Poor Dom and Hannah. It's can't be easy trying to teach people that don't understand anything of it!

Anyway, I feel like I've talked a little too much now. I should probably stay quiet for a little while, since that's the kind of girl I am.

See ya around the forums, Branwen (with another name, because I'm not actually called Miss Quiet Girl)


Miss Quiet Girl

Author's Response: Hi, Miss Quiet Girl! ♥

I'm glad this made you laugh! I've been toying with expanding it a little in a short story where they actually try to teach wizards how to play soccer, but I'm not sure I'd really be able to depict it in an engaging and funny way. Action scenes are not necessarily my strong suit. :P

Thank you so much for the review. :)

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Review #5, by Elenia Offside

12th July 2014:
Hello again ^^

Haha, I love it that you wrote a story about muggle football for this event! That's so perfect!

Oh boy, they certainly have a difficult task ahead of them! Trying to explain the rules of football to kids who are bound to compare it to Quidditch. I seriously don't envy them (x

The whole conversation felt really realistic and you made the kids ask some good questions for people who have no clue about the sport. And the title is absolutely perfect! I know it took me ages to understand the offside rule (x

The idea of them having a football team at Hogwarts is really good though. I've always wondered if they had one, since there are many kids who come from muggle families. And it would make sense, because there are always many sports clubs at schools. Although Hogwarts is the only magical school, so there can't be any games against other schools' teams.

But an excellent one-shot! I really enjoyed reading it!


Gryffindor - House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Oh, offside. Even muggles have a hard time with it! I was at a game somewhat recently and overheard this guy explaining it to his kid... except he explained it wrong. *headdesk*

I'm glad you liked it! I'm considering expanding it, provided someone fills the request on TDA or I decide to do it myself. :P

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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 Offside

11th July 2014:
Hahaha, wow, Dominique and Hannah really do have their work cut out for them!

I applaud you for trying to explain football to magical children. I don't know very much about the sport, but I can imagine that the students were incredible boggled by all of the technicalities. And of course they just had to keep comparing it to Quidditch, the most ancient and silliest of all Wizarding sports. :)

The Dominique-Hannah friendship kind of took a backseat to the football discussion, but I think that's okay. They were starting the team as a joint effort, and I didn't really need to know when they'd met or how long they'd been friends. It wasn't necessary to the context of the story.

Great job with this! I really enjoyed laughing at the silly students who don't know what football is. :)

House Cup 2014 Review


Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! This was originally much longer, with more backstory about Dominique and Hannah's friendship (and more explanation), but then I needed to get it below the word limit. :P Now that the HC is over, I'll probably edit that stuff back in. Thank you so much!

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Review #7, by evil little devil Offside

11th July 2014:
I am so sorry for clogging up your reviews! Attempt number three:

Hello again! Thank you so much for all your reviews, they really made my day. I'm so happy to be able to return the favour!
This is hilarious! I love that you've written this to coincide with the world cup. I can imagine this scene so clearly, with everyone getting increasingly confused. I love how worried they were when they got to the offside rule - how well they knew that it was going to be difficult to explain. I remember when I played soccer, and first began to learn about the rule. I was so bewildered!
This was such a lovely, light, humorous piece. I really enjoyed it! It was such fun to read.

- House Cup 2014 Review.

Author's Response: Aw, no worries! That's happened to me, too. It's really annoying.

I'm glad that you enjoyed the story, particularly the offside rule - it's definitely super confusing, and given that Quidditch involves flying, it always seemed to me that that would be the biggest problem. :P

Thanks for much for the lovely review! :)

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Review #8, by TidalDragon Offside

9th July 2014:

Huzzah for a football-related story during the World Cup! The World Cup and the House Cup going on at the same excellent right?

I thought it was great how you progressed through the rules in the story. The reactions of the witches and wizards assembled were fairly amusing, but most importantly also pretty believable. I've used a football tradition in one of my stories to confuse a group of witches and wizards too, but I will say that someone later raised an excellent question about it - wouldn't muggle-borns from across the ages have alleviated this ignorance? For the purposes of our stories I think we can say no. Maybe witches and wizards just were never interested - but I still thought I'd share with you as something to think about.

Regardless, the reactions by Dominique and Hannah were also great. They were nice little contrasts, Dominique staying patient and clam while Hannah was constantly suppressing her frustration or irritation with all the questions.

This was a fun read all around! Thanks for sharing!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yes, it really was! It was also quite convenient with Event 4, because I was just sitting at home watching football anyway. :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review! Muggleborns definitely would have helped a bit, but I kind of had to cut that part out to preserve the word count. :P Now that the HC is over, though, I'll probably add it back in, because you're absolutely right!

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Review #9, by patronus_charm Offside

8th July 2014:
Hi Branwen!

This was probably one of the best entries I’ve read so far as it’s just so topical and made me laugh so much. Even though I am football fan and know the basics of the rules (watcher not player so I sometimes forget a few), you recapped them so well for a non-player too so even they could understand which was really cool and just showed how much you loved it.

Another thing I liked was how you used analogies with Quidditch to explain everything as it was just so great! I think one of my favourite lines was about everyone being chasers so how the hell does that work out, and it gave me lots of flashbacks to the arguments between Dean and Ron over football.

Dom’s friends really did make me laugh a lot though. This line especially was great ‘Dominique and Hannah grimaced at each other. This was going to be a long, long meeting.’ Because it really just showed the depth of friendship with how long they were willing to talk about this for!

House Cup 2014 Review!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I'm a huge football fanatic - I followed the WC super closely and actually cried when Argentina lost - and I've kind of transposed that onto a few of my stories. My Dominique's life kind of revolves around dragons and football, and I always try to squeeze mentions of it in here and there. (She has strong feelings about Manchester City, Chelsea, and Tottenham Hotspur, being an Arsenal fan.)

Now that the HC is over I'm actually thinking about expanding this. Hopefully if I do, it will continue to be entertaining!

Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #10, by Freda_and_Georgina Offside

7th July 2014:
For the House Cup 2014 Review
Woah, a muggle sport at Hogwarts? That would be really interesting. I wonder if it would ever take off.
Maybe they should have brought pictures and diagrams...Poor Dominique and Hannah. I fear their goal is hopeless. (that was a pun!)
(ps you missed a "d" in midfeilder) As a former soccer I mean football player, I'm resisting the urge to try to map out the feild and the positions for them! I don't know how Dominique is managing it.

Author's Response: Whoops - thanks for the catch of midfielder. I'll go back and change that as soon as I get the chance.

I love (love, love) football, and my Dominique has always been obsessed, so I really wanted to capture that. A football league was never going to be super popular at Hogwarts, but there are so many Muggleborns and halfblooded that I think it would probably gain some interest - if Quidditch is their only sport, that's only 30 or so people in the entire school that ever really get to play a sport, which doesn't seem quite right.

Thank you so much for the review - I'm so glad you enjoyed the story!

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Review #11, by maskedmuggle Offside

6th July 2014:

This was fantastic! I definitely enjoyed reading this, which is quite surprising given I'm definitely not a football fan at all. Or actually, maybe it's not surprising, because I found all the explanations of the rules actually quite helpful to me, haha. I definitely learnt something new from this, particularly about how many players there are in football and as my first time hearing about this offside rule... :P

Anyway, I definitely loved the characters you chose to use here, mainly Dominique and Hannah and I thought the way you portrayed their friendship was great. I loved how they worked together really well in trying to explain the rules to their friends, and I also thought it was great how they interacted with each other, in exchanging looks for example. I guess if I was being super nitpicky I'd say that they seem to "exchange looks" one too often in this short story, but it's not even that noticeable so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I also loved the plot here - it's quite a simple idea but I can totally imagine next-gen kids trying to integrate a muggle sport into the magical world. Again, if I'm being totally nitpicky I can't help but wonder how/where Dominique would have learnt to play football and with what team, but this little info is probably irrelevant as I'm just thinking too much into this as I tend to do. Anyway, I also liked how when they were trying to explain the football rules they had to keep referring to Quidditch as that was the only thing that was familiar to the audience - it helped make everything feel really realistic. So I definitely really enjoyed reading this and felt it was well written!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it! ♥

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