Reading Reviews for True Romance
  
300 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AbraxanUnicorn Hold Tight

17th April 2017:
Right, flag! We're coming for you and you won't evade us any longer!

I'm a bit confused with the opening line of this chapter - "What started out as weekly brunch with Lily's boyfriend.Harry and Ginny hadn't met Archibald" - how could they have been having weekly brunch with Lily's boyfriend Archie and yet not met him? Unless it's supposed to be Albus's boyfriend? that would make more sense. Apologies if I've got confused for no good reason (it happens).

I feel that the statement "pleased to make your acquaintance" is too formal a greeting for Harry to issue when welcoming Cindy (or any "new" guest) to his home; I feel like he would have been a bit more chatty and less severe-sounding?

Ooh dear. Archie doesn't hit it off terribly well with the Potters at brunch, perhas more specifically Harry, who cannot seem to let go of the fact that his daughter is no longer a little girl. I think Harry needs to loosen up a little bit here, TBH.

OMG, I cackled my head off at the "Could you pass me some sausage" line! That really cracked me up!

The introduction of Corbin to Draco went off better than I was expecting it to. Draco, unsure as to how to behave around his son and partner, is very lucky to have Astoria by his side, who isn't at all fazed. I think you did really well here with respect to handling Draco's character - he's nicely in keeping with canon :)

Oof. Bit of tension between Rose and Albus to end the chapter on. I liked the cute scenes chez Molly and Arthur.

Loved this chapter :)

Brax X

 Report Review

Review #2, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage Don't You Want Me

17th April 2017:
Here for CTF!

FINALLY I read a chapter where Scorpius is adamant about the fact that he goes for Corbin and isn't in doubt or making moves on Rose or Albus or calling things a date. Dear god have I waited for this moment. It's a really pivotal moment where they each go their own way - Scorpius with Corbin and Albus with Branden, while remaining friends and just be happy for eachother. And that makes me so happy to read because they both deserve it (though, Scorpius maybe less because of what he did to Rose and Albus).
On that note I must add that I find it a funny thing that Rose and Albus seem to have the same taste in men. Was that intentional?
Anyway, I do love the fact that Albus got so concerned about Cora and that he and Branden completely came clean and told eachother what they were ready for and what not, because that totally is the epitome of a healthy relationship. They really are great for eachother and I'm glad they found oneanother.
Also, it's a good thing, I think, that Rose is keeping her crush to herself for now, and not telling anyone about it. With what everyone is going through and with Rose being busy enough herself as it is, it might not be handy if there was added drama or awkwardness.
Great chapter again!

 Report Review

Review #3, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage The Wolves and The Ravens

17th April 2017:
Here for CTF!

The danceparty was really well written and had me laughing more often than not - especially when you started talking about Albus gyrating on the dancefloor, because the images in my head became a bit too much. It must've been a sight to see. I do like that Derrick popped up as well, and his reaction to Albus is actually really logical when you take into account he has no clue as to what has happened and that Branden is in the picture now. And huzzah, James and Cindy action! Finally he got someone, so he's not entirely hopeless, so it seems.
The entire Rose and Branden bit, with Albus popping in, was also brilliantly written, especially since Branden barely had any clothes on as it was and it certainly made things akward. Not to mention that Cora spiced things up a bit too, what with being colicky. Poor baby though. She must feel horrible.
And then we have Scorpius and Corbin. I'm not sure if he should be apprehensive or not when it comes to the fact that Corbin and Astoria hit off. Maybe he should, maybe he shouldn't. I can't quite figure out what the best option out of those two will be. Few notes though, I noticed some typos. Not many at all, but there were some so it can't hurt to check it over a bit!
Other than that, excellent chapter.

 Report Review

Review #4, by manno_malfoy Ice Cream

17th April 2017:
You know what, I've had my suspicions about Rose ever since that first encounter with Brandon way back in the ministry, and every time something happened, I talked myself out of the suspicion because I wanted to believe that Rose is smarter than this. I was reading this scene with a hand on my face in a literal facepalm on her behalf. Not only is she jeoperdising Albus's 'relationship', but she's making an already messy situation worse. And above all of that, I don't see how she thought this would work out in her favour at all. Man. But it only makes sense that Rose would have some flaws/lapses of judgment. It's only realistic. I guess I just held her to unrealistic standards.

My favourite in this chapter has to be Corbin in that final scene. His maturity shines through and you can tell that this age thing makes him quite level-headed and understanding of how big a decision this is regardless of one's feelings for someone. And I love how this surprised Scorpius, which is understandable when you take into consideration the unstable mess that Albus is. Young love can be such chaos.

The scene with Teddy and Albus was one of the cutest things ever. And how easily Albus deals with Remus makes me wonder what it'll make him do in regards to Brandon and Cora.

 Report Review

Review #5, by lovegood27 Where the Wind Blows

17th April 2017:
Hi I'm here for Capture The Flag! :)

So, I kind of just jumped straight into this story without even reading the beginning, so apologies in advance that this review will be a bit all over the place.

I don't know who Eliza is, but it was nice to see she was getting married and still managing to meet up with her old school friends. I thought it was so sweet how she still wanted Rose and Agatha to be her bridesmaids, even though she didn't keep in close contact with them. But woah, getting pregnant just so she could ensure David stayed with her? That seems a bit...I don't know, not entirely honest? All I know was my reaction was similar to Rose's. To be honest, I don't know why anyone would want to call it 'genius', it sounds a bit clingy and desperate to me.

Sorry, I got a bit annoyed by that. Moving on! It was interesting how you made Scorpius' relationship with Astoria more stiff and formal. I felt like they kind of just had a lot of awkward small talk- not really what you would expect from a mother and son. Also, is she just another pure blood fanatic? I might have interpreted it wrong, but the line where she thought "as long as that person was unable to provide them with a grandchild". Did it mean she didn't want their bloodline to become tainted or something? I was curious to know :)

Aw, I don't usually read Albus/OC male but this was really cute. And I loved the name Cora, it sounds really pretty. It seemed like Albus and Brandon had had an argument concerning a date, or something like that. If they did, I'm glad they made up :) (But I do hope Scorpius can hurry up and figure out his feelings)

Great job! :D

 Report Review

Review #6, by AbraxanUnicorn The Wolves and The Ravens

17th April 2017:
CTF #3!

I don't know exactly why, but it struck me as rather amusing for Albus to be giving James tips on how to chat up girls. Probably because James is frequently portrayed as some kind of Lothario and I have that image of him stuck in my hea, and also because Albus is gay, so his own experiences would probably be limited. It did make me chuckle, though.

Neither of Lily's brothers have met Archibald (what an old-fashioned name; I wonder if he'll live up to it? I'm imagining a Percy-esque character...), so it will be interesting to see what James and Albus think of him. I also laughed at the mental image of Albus gyrating on the dance floor.

I'm a bit surprised, after Albus intoning he wouldn't turn up to Brandon's flat whilst drunk, that he's "buzzed" - doesn't that mean tipsy? Or does it mean something else in this context? No - I suspect it means drunk as he ends up snogging some guy he's snogged many times before. Albus!! I'm glad for his sake that Rose stepped in and cut the union short. Who knows how much further he'd have gone, despite protesting that he was trying to escape? Naughty, considering he has Brandon at home.

Poor James; it's his party and it would appear that he's the only one without a partner or a hook-up for the night. Luckily, Cindy is in a similar position outside to provide him with a snog! Will this be a one-off, or will more happen between these two people? My one reservation is that it will get messy if they have a relationship which then fails, given that Cindy is Albus's friend...

Uugh. Baby puke. Bleurgh! But it causes an amusing situation of Rose and Brandon only partially clad and Albus choosing that moment to walk in. He covers the awkwardness well with humour, though!

I'm glad Corbin got on well with Astoria, even if it meant he sided with Scorpius's mother at times.

Another brilliant chapter :)

Brax X

 Report Review

Review #7, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage The Love You Save (May Be Your Own)

17th April 2017:
Hi here for CTF!

I really don't like Archie. Like at all. Having read later chapters doesn't help my opinion at all, if I've got to be honest, but this chapter? Ugh. The prejudice against LGTBQA+ people is simply horrid to read, and I love how both Rose and Lily immediately jumped to the defense here, because it's just an awful thing to say really. As if those people couldn't be an Auror, honestly.
I also am again creeped out by Scorpius, with him being happy with Corbin but also willing to ditch him directly for Albus, to get a second shot there, even if Albus is working things out with Branden. It's just simply not done and ugh... I just get horrid feelings from him continually doing that.
And then we have Branden himself. I love the fact that he's trying to adjust to this so much on so many different levels and that Rose is stopping by with books is such a Rose (and Hermione, really, as she thought he could use them) thing to do, I'm not even surprised. I can understand that he'd love to have Albus around though, so that he has some kind of stability there, but then again, this isn't really easy on Albus either so I think it's fair that he hadn't stopped by yet and that they're both simply getting used to the idea first.
Well done!

 Report Review

Review #8, by manno_malfoy The Love You Save (May Be Your Own)

17th April 2017:
So I've managed to read the first few chapters and I am now all caught up and capable of making solid statements about things. Yay! This means I've basically been gobbling and very much enjoying this story all morning.

I have to say that my face mirrored Rose throughout the scene of Lily's date. Like, I'd make a face at something Archie says, and I read on and find Rose doing the same thing. Eugh. Reminds of a lot of the guys I know. But I admire Rose for handling the situation so well, even though her face was betraying her. At least Archie was too busy making problematic statements to notice. I'm looking forward to Lily's and Rose's conversation about it though.

I'm already in love with Scorpius, especially in this chapter. Close friends or not, he shouldn't be letting Albus toy with him like that. And I understand that he's passionate about him too and it clouds his judgment, but I fully support the decision he makes in this chapter even though I totally ship your Albus and Scorp together.

Have I mentioned already how much I admire Rose? She is a star in this chapter! Just so supportive and an amazing friend, not just to Lily but to Brandon as well. It's ridiculous that she goes to see him and Albus doesn't. Albus really need to get it together; he's starting to get on my nerves.

As you can see, I've gotten very invested in your characters already, which is proof of the wonderful a job you've done with them and the plot!

 Report Review

Review #9, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage A Satisfied Mind

17th April 2017:
Here for CTF!

And what a chapter! I am really concerned as to why Scorpius agreed to go on a date with Rose when he knows he has a jealous boyfriend as it is, because it keeps coming over to me as like he's trying to get as many as he can at the same time, despite being completely happy with Corbin as it is. I really don't get it really, but it also adds to the creepfactor that is Scorpius and I'm not really sure it makes me happy to read. But I'm sure there must be some kind of reason to it all.
That being said, I agree with Lily that the reactions to her engagment were somewhat cool. She is young, but still, even then you would expect happier and more enthusiastic responses than the ones she got. At least Ginny covered up really well later on by following her and then cooing over ring, and Cindy was really nice as well.
And then we have the scene I was dreading to watch. Having read what I already read I knew what was coming, but even if I didn't I'd still say it was one major plottwist, all the more because it was so sudden and that there was no reason at all to suspect something like this was about to happen. It really adds to the shockfactor and the fact that Albus wants his dad first before he wants his uncle to help arrange things, really soldifies how young he really is still. Very well done.

 Report Review

Review #10, by AbraxanUnicorn A Satisfied Mind

17th April 2017:
Howdy! Just chasing some flags around, as you do...

Post wedding dress-shopping, and Rose decides to drop in on Scorpius whilst she's in Diagon Alley. He seems really happy about moving to Paris part-time, but I dunno; how do these things work with wizards? Will he keep having to book portkeys or adopt muggle ways of travelling? I'm not convinced it's going to work, but we'll see.

It was really sweet of Scorpius to agree to be Rose's date for Eliza's wedding, but I wonder how Corbin will view the whole situation, given that Scorpius is Rose's ex? Some partners would be a bit miffed by what Scorpius is doing...oh well, I'm sure we'll find out soon.

I'm kind off surprised at Rose. If she has been so hurt by Scorpius in the past, and it sounds as though their relationship has severely impacted on her ability to have another one afterwards, then I'm surprised she's managed to stay such good friends with him?

OMG Lily is getting married? But she's only 18 or 19 at the most; isn't that just a wee bit too young? Maybe he's her one true love, but there are very subtle little fissures in their relationship it seems, and the chemistry between them is, I dunno, a little off?

I'm glad James has recovered from his Quidditch accident.

Albus being trusted to take Cora to his grandparents - oh! So cute! But but but.Arthur?? NO!! How could this be? Poor, poor Molly. OMG, my heart is breaking for her :( and poor Cora having witnessed his death. Oh. So much sadness to end this great chapter on.

Brax X

 Report Review

Review #11, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage I don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

17th April 2017:
Here for CTF!

This chapter is so heartbreaking! Not only do we have the funeral which has many people in utter grief (and I totally admire the fact that George managed to speak because it honestly cannot have been easy for him, especially because he mentioned Fred and that must've send many over the edge there). But we also have the fact that Lily got cheated on (and I'm totally with Rose here that he is a pig and especially grief of another person should never be enough reason to run to someone else. Though nothing is ever a good reason, actually. But if you're engaged you ought to be there for that person and not do this). But we also have Corbin being absolutely horrible and not believing Scorpius and my god that certainly is no healthy relationship the two are having. It's really good of Scorpius that he insisted they take a break because he needs to get everything in order before they move on and honestly I don't think he ought to forgive him, because if it happens now, it can happen later on too and get worse as it is already.
It's also nice that you added that Charlie did have a relationship but that it all went to hell. I am really wondering what is going on there, but it's nice enough that he stays around for a week so that Molly won't be alone.
Again, great chapter!

 Report Review

Review #12, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage A View to a Kill

17th April 2017:
Hi and here for CTF!

Scorpius truly is one horrible person really, stringing people along with what he's doing, lying all the time and just all the while hurting people in the process, and then keep going back to them. He really is unlikeable and in a way I hope he's going to truly lose everything he has, because I don't even know why people forgive him enough to keep on reconsiling with him. It's just not done.
I also feel sorry for Albus. It's quite the shock to find out someone you date has a kid, because it throws everything off kilter and takes a lot of time to adjust. I really love the strength of the bond between James and Albus here because they're so supportive of the other and they keep on helping eachother out, it's really nice to see.
But then again, I also love the banter between Hugo and Rose because it's so relatable. He obviously missed her but being the younger sibling like he is, he hides it by saying just that and it's just so easy to see that happening because it works that way for so many sibling pairs. Really well done at that.
And the supportiveness of Ron and Hermione. I absolutely adore it, even if the amount of the loan they give her gave me a shock because it is so much. But then again, I suppose that's what parents do if they have the ability to do so. Great chapter!

 Report Review

Review #13, by AbraxanUnicorn I don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

17th April 2017:
Hello. CTF #3. You know how it is...

Oh. The sadness of Arthur Weasley's funeral :( I think it's very fitting that he was laid to rest by the muggle section of the graveyard; he'd have liked and approved of that idea. Kingsley gave a speech, which was also a nice touch, bringing in some acquaintances from the past. I do feel that Kingsley is quite underrepresented in fanfiction, so it's lovely to see him here, even in such a sad capacity.

Poor Molly. OMG, my heart is breaking for her. 60 years of marriage and now she's alone. I hope the family will rally around and support her. I guess they will; the Weasleys are a close-knit bunch after all.

Rose. So alone too. I liked that she and Charlie found common ground here, but I'm intrigued by why Charlie feels that he doesn't deserve a second chance at love? Why? What happened? I imagined him as gay, so your Charlie fits in well with my headcanon. I hope there is someone out there for him in the future. I feel sad for Rose too, but I want her to actually want someone in particular, not just to be swayed by the idea of a relationship. Love for love's sake will never work, m'dear.

Uh-oh. Rose and Scorpius get a little close - surely Rose should know he's off bounds - and then Corbin rather awkwardly walks in at the wrong moment, even though nothing that untoward is going on. OHHH, hang on, Corbin; using violence is never going to solve problems. Bang out of order, mate.
One thing I was confused about was Rose describing Corbin as slightly taller than Corbin, and I didn't really get that bit?

Corbin DID NOT deserve that hug from Scorpius. Ugh, Scorp; should have kicked him straight out for that!!!

Excellent chapter again!

Brax X

 Report Review

Review #14, by manno-malfoy A View to a Kill

17th April 2017:
Hello! I'm here for the CTF, and while I'm not very glad to have started right in the middle of the story, I'm very glad to be reading it. Next-Gen is my favourite.

First of all, I must commend you on the gorgeous writing. I mean, even though I only vaguely know what's been happening to these characters the past five chapters, it was very easy to get involved in the story and I'm already starting to really like your characters (especially Rose, even though we only get a glimpse of her in this chapter so I haven't figured her out yet).

I found it very refreshing to see James portrayed as Albus's confidant and as anything other than a notorious Quidditch player and a ladies man, and I can't wait to see how else you'll involve him in the plot.

I've only recently started getting into Scorpius/Albus, so I'm very excited that I've come upon this story.

I'm quite interested to see what Albus will do with his situation. From what I've grasped in this chapter, I'm feeling as though he's not very responsible...? At least, from what Scorpius had told Corbin, I guessed that this little fling that is stressing Scorpius out might have been initiated by Albus? But then again, I'm just guessing, so I'll definitely have to pop back over and check out the other chapters to know for sure. But yeah, I don't really trust Albus in this story.

Oh, and I almost forgot! The characterisation of Ron and Hermione (even though we only got a quick glimpse of them) was on point. Especially Hermione!

I was quite impressed to see that you have the story in three perspectives. I would say that's a big task, and I'm eager to see where it goes next, and for the perspectives start to cross and they're in the same room together.

Wonderful work overall!

 Report Review

Review #15, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage The Long Day of Vengeance

17th April 2017:
Hi! Here for CTF!

What I'd like to point out first before I forget it, is that you have one point in this chapter where you change the time from ... I don't know the right naming. Point is, you are going with 'he had' etc for pretty much all of the chapter, except when Lily comes in, where you go to the time of 'he is', if you get what I mean, and that's quite a bit confusing.
That being said - I love protective Albus and James and finding out the reason why Lily and Archie broke up in the first place so shortly after being engaged. It's a perfectly understandable reason if you ask me, and I'm glad Lily got to get a punch in herself, becaus he deserved it, really.
And haha, also, Harry pulling the 'i am harry potter' card. This is something which does not tend to happen often, but considering the reason behind it all and the fact that they really are that backwards, it's a lovely gesture for him to do. Then again he is a parent and it does kind of involve his kid and grandchild, but still. It's great to see him wanting to pull that card in the first place.
I do stand with Albus when it comes to Scorpius wanting advice though. He's going a horrible way around it and it's not done that he wanted to go and kiss Albus, especially considering he's in a relationship and all that. It makes me hate Scorpius really, and I don't think staying in that relationship is a good thing...
Great chapter though, well done!

 Report Review

Review #16, by AbraxanUnicorn The Long Day of Vengeance

17th April 2017:
Greetings again! Does this chapter contain a little flag, by any chance?

OMG! I'm reviewing these chapters out of synchrony, and I appear to have leaped straight into a domestic abuse scenario. Oh, ouch! :( Did Corbin REALLY hit his boyfriend? Yikes, Scorpius, don't ever go back to him. Leopards don't change their spots and all that. Get out whilst you still can. Gosh, even if Corbin saw red when Scorpius was sharing what might have seemed like an intimate moment with Rose, there is NO EXCUSE for violence, it's NEVER justified. OH I am so mad/sad on Scorpius's behalf.

Oh, and you're throwing MORE pain my way by telling me that Arthur Weasley is dead?? NO!! Poor Cora, being present and w(?)itnessing that - even if she is young, what she saw is potentially so damaging to her young mind. How awful and traumatic for all concerned. I hope Arthur didn't suffer in the end.

Oosh. Albus drops by to see Scorpius and they get a bit close. If Scorpius is thinking of kissing Albus, so soon after Corbin lashed out at him, then perhaps he isn't anywhere near as over Albus as either of them think? Maybe subconsciously, Corbin was aware that Scorpius was harbouring feelings for Albus and this made him jealous and insecure? It doesn't justify what he did, though. Sorry. Corbin still shouldn't get a second chance. It must have been hard for Albus to stand up against Scorpius in his moment of anguish and take the moral high ground, but I'm glad he did. Ugh, what a situation; if Albus is over Scorpius and in love with Brandon, but Scorpius still has feelings for Albus??

The brothers, out for revenge against Lily's ex, Archie. Uh-oh, boys, is this a good idea? Apparently, they think it is, and it would seem so does Lily after she gets her piece in first. Wow. The fists are really flying in this chapter.

And - OMG - HOW prejudiced is the Child Services group? Ooh, Josephina Wilcox, how could you?! I'm seething on Brandon's behalf.

Great chapter!

Brax X

 Report Review

Review #17, by BellaLestrange87 There Goes the Fear

17th April 2017:
Hi Rose! I'm here for CTF!

I love how Brandon is getting to know all the Potter family friends and getting along with them. It makes me happy that he's becoming a part of the Potter family and slowly being accepted by them. (Yeah, yeah, I know that the Scamanders aren't part of the Potter family but I imagine they're as good as).

I think it's so cute that Lysander has a crush on Lily, and his reaction to finding out she's in a relationship are so realistic. Disappointment, swiftly hidden.

WHY DID YOU HURT JAMES NO

I'm glad James is going to be okay. Seriously, what are the odds of being hit in the back of the head with a Bludger? And shouldn't he have known better than to get tunnel vision, since he's playing professionally? But yes, he definitely needs to go to St Mungo's, if only to get checked out further by Healers.

Oh man, I love the bantering when they're picking out dresses for the wedding. Although, shouldn't Rose's friends know better than to give her a groomsman partner who's already dating? Or do they not know her history with relationships? (to be brief) Rose's concern about bringing somebody to the wedding sounds genuine - how much time is there until the wedding? Is there enough time for her to get comfortable enough with *insert boy here* to want to bring him to the wedding as a date? There's a huge gulf between "going out for drinks" and "wedding date". The only gulf bigger is "going out for drinks" and "this is our wedding".

Mr. Hopkirk is an ugly man. He's blatantly acknowledging that he only hired Lily because of her last name and he's making her write a story about her brother being hurt when he knows full well that all she wants to do regarding her brother is make sure he's okay and help take care of him? Ugh. I'm sure the last thing on her mind when she goes into St Mungo's is "time to do work now". Ugh.

I noticed a few typos:

It was a perfect afternoon for quidditch viewing and playing with Albus, Brandon, and Cindy were at a match between the Wanderers and the Wasps. - while this isn't a typo, I feel like this sentence could be split into two for better flow

You but just finished seventh year, correct - either "you just" or "you boys"

I really enjoyed this chapter! And I would answer the questions you left in the author's note, but I've already finished this story and there's no point replying with plot details *laughs*. "I predict that Corbin will be a massive butt" is not that good a prediction when you consider just exactly how I know that. :p

~Olivia

 Report Review

Review #18, by BellaLestrange87 Live and Let Die

17th April 2017:
Hi Rose! I'm here for CTF!

I have to admit that when I first started reading this chapter I thought that something was going on with Rose, because Lily was bringing her food and oftentimes people will bring you food when you're sad or feeling down. Then I realized that Rose was happy, which is probably a rare occurrence in stories you write :p

I love the joking about Archie, and about how innocent and happy Lily seems about him. Although we all know that she's not going to stay innocent and happy *sighs* Actually, the banter between Lily and Rose in general is funny and very entertaining to read.

I love the relationship between James and Albus. Although I don't have any brothers, it seems very realistic and family-like (and since I don't have any brothers, you should probably take this with a grain of salt, to be entirely honest). James' joke about clothes was absolutely hilarious and it made me laugh far too loud for someone writing this review at 1am.

And while I've already read this and I know why Brandon stood Albus up, this part of the chapter still annoys me. Couldn't he have sent an owl or something to let Albus know he wasn't going to be there. I think that the bartender putting his drinks on the house, while good-natured, was a bit like adding insult to injury, in a way.

I noticed a few typos:

Heís a vegetation specialist who and has gorgeous eyes - who has gorgeous eyes

crazy, let her have the poster in her room - he had let her

This was the first fancy date Albus and he wanted it to go well - Albus had / for Albus / some word is missing here but I'm not sure what

I really enjoyed this chapter!

~Olivia

 Report Review

Review #19, by Claire Evergreen Live and Let Die

17th April 2017:
Back for CTF!

Um, okay, that cliffhanger? Incredibly rude. Here I was, all ready to get mad at basically everyone in this chapter but Lily for not being able to make up their freaking minds and then you have to go and drop that ending on me. I'm just in awe of how you are able to craft such a well constructed story that I genuinely did not think that Brandon was hurt despite the fact that he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do that. I'm also still unbelievably annoyed at Albus and Scorpius for their complete inability to make up their minds. I know that Corbin is an incredible jerk, but I still think cheating is one of the worst things a person can do. Just...make up your minds jesus christ.

I also love the Rose plot line and the inclusion of Lily. With the backdrop of all the relationship drama, it's such a relatable struggle of trying to figure out what you're supposed to do with your life. As an almost senior in college, let me tell you, I relate to Rose absolutely too much for my own good, but it's fine. I mean, knowing you and your reputation, it's not going to end well but a girl can dream, right?

I look forward to figuring everything out!

Claire

 Report Review

Review #20, by PaulaTheProkaryote Don't Let it Pass

17th April 2017:
Hello lovely! Iím here for CTF so the Claws can dominate!

Oh boy. Here we go.

Honestly Albus should have suspected trouble as soon as he saw James sitting rigid instead of smirking! And Also Harry being like a real Dad and laying down the law with the whole I'm-disappointed-in-you line was just so classic and beautiful.

Sooo. I don't think arguing their case is helping at all. They're definitely just digging a deeper and deeper hole for themselves to climb back out of.

I mean in reality what they did probably wasn't that bad. Minus the kidnap. And maybe Lily punching him.

Silly government always snooping around for no reason harassing innocent sweet parents. Literally the worst timing for the boys to decide to harass Archie. Like it really could have waited a few days until the Cora matter was settled. I know he couldn't have known, but still.

I don't blame Brandon for being short with the waiter. I hate assumptions. At least they got some free drinks off of it though. He clearly didn't mean much harm.

I really liked this line: ďI donít think youíll ever settle, Rose. Youíll meet your match.Ē Thatís what I want for my babies when I have them.

Poor both Scorpius and Rose. I really think all things considered both of them are just better off as friends. All of these emotions and hormones have to be a lot for them to deal with but shoutout to their maturity for not going ahead and being impulsive for the sake of their friendship.

Lysander is perf. I love him above all else. I want a spin off of him.

-paula

 Report Review

Review #21, by AbraxanUnicorn There Goes the Fear

17th April 2017:
Well hello! I'm here for CTF #3 and in search of a flag. I don't suppose it's hanging around in this chapter, is it?

Diving straight into the middle of this story is somewhat disorienting, but I'm able to follow what's going on (I think) :) Apparently, I've jumped into the perfect day for a spot of quidditch. Albus is spectating with his boyfriend, Brandon, and his friend, Cindy. James, his brother, is playing and am I right in assuming (if she's watching the game in worry) that James is the romantic interest of Cindy? Oh - yay - that's explained in the next sentence. I feel terribly sorry for Lysander, finding out that his crush is dating someone else - that information was kind of sprung upon him and being in a public place means he'll probably want to keep his emotions under wraps. That's hard, pretending to others you're perfectly okay with something when you're not.

OOF! Poor James - a bludger to the back of the head, followed by a collision with a metal goal-post? That's got to hurt :( Understandably, Cindy finds this all a bit distressing, but what I feel bad for her is that she has sole responsibility of accompanying James to St Mungo's whilst Albus and Brandon go and inform the Potters. TBH, I thought it would be fairer if Brandon had also gone with Cindy for moral support?

Rose's idea to cast an experimental swelling charm on her pregnant friend so that she can see what she'll look like on her wedding day, is a particularly foolish one - what was Rose thinking??! A pillow is a far more sensible suggestion.

I like the stance that Lily took against her boss (related to Mafalda, perchance?) - she shouldn't have to report on her family like that. Surely even her boss could have some sense of compassion and there must be other reporters around to get the scoop on the story? Ohh, and her boyfriend proposes! Gosh, there's quite a lot happening in this chapter; I've certainly picked a busy one to review!

What's this? Scorpius with a man called Corbin? How refreshing that he isn't with Albus or Rose. But he was once with Albus? Hmmm. I wonder if they'll get back tgether again in the future, or whether it's all mapped out between Scorpius and Corbin?

I look forward to seeing what the next chapter has in store!

Brax X

 Report Review

Review #22, by PaulaTheProkaryote In the Waiting Line

17th April 2017:
Hello lovely! Iím here for CTF so the Claws can dominate!

Did I mention that I sorta love how everyone is in this massive love tangle knot. Like everyone is semi-dating everyone in this story and I think that makes it messy in the best way. Even though itís not like that this time with Rose and Scorpius. Also massive kudos to him for taking her in. I would not let any of my exes even come up my driveway so heís a champ.

Also poor Rose. Being used just to make his parents happy is actually pretty cruel, but she's still pretty great about that knowledge. Like she immediately empathizes with him about the loneliness and the rejection.

I wonder how Corbin will take it. That's he's now got an ex girlfriend in the place and that they casually cuddled all night.

Molly is as Molly as she can be with her barrage of questions and poking and prodding about his eating habits. I love her characterization and think it's spot on.

All of the muggles are just copying everything that Arthur tinkers with in his spare time.

Death has a way of sorting out your priorities I think. I hope thatís not foreshadowing though donít give my poor little baby a near-death-experience. Commitmentphobe or not, he doesnít deserve that kind of agony!

Iím keen on the complex nature of Harry and Brandon. Like the way they communicate is just interesting to me and I canít wait for more of their interactions.

-paula

 Report Review

Review #23, by Dirigible_Plums Simple Song

16th April 2017:
Hello there!

As you can see, I'm jumping all over the place to see where this darn flag has been hidden.

This was a rather short chapter but - seeing as how it's the final one - that is completely understandable. It's here to tie up loose ends, cut off the fic neatly and concisely. There's still some uncertainty about the future and not everything is concrete, laid out perfectly for the rest of their lives, but it ends at a nice point.

Since I'm a young 'un, I haven't necessarily been in Al's position but can understand the fear of having people you've known your entire life just move away. It's a mark of your adulthood, the fact that these people are going off to live their own lives. The ties that bind you together may not withstand the distance. They might fray from the effort of holding you together. Things inevitably change when people are physically apart so Al's grumbling is perfectly understandable.

I was surprised to see that Scorpius is giving up his dream. From what Al's saying, his relationship with Corbin doesn't particularly sound the healthiest either (which actually explains why he might do it). This was wbat he worked up to for ages. And now he's moving to a different country. I respect that people give up a lot for their other halves every day but it's still a little surprising.

I mean, I'm assuming he's moving, right?

"Help wanted - shop manager" coupled with his bombshell does suggest that, after all.

Plums xo
♡♡♡

 Report Review

Review #24, by BellaLestrange87 Don't Let it Pass

16th April 2017:
Hi Rose! I'm here for CTF!

I can definitely understand Harry's frustration with his sons. Yeah, Archie hurt Lily, but that definitely was not the right way to handle it. Besides, Harry probably had to explain away their actions, which might have cost him professionally. And additionally, depending on the law, they could have been charged (in Canada, it would have constituted assault, obviously I don't know what wizarding law is like. Hmmm, plunny... *gets distracted*).

Ugh. That waiter. And seriously??? Ugh. I love how cute Brandon and Albus are together, though. I'm glad that Albus is at least realizing how stupid his actions were in jeopardizing not just his father's work prospects, but his partner's as well.

I'm not sure what to think about Rose and Scorpius's section of the chapter. While I'm happy that they're being smart about where they are in their friendship and about not wanting to jeopardize that, part of me wishes that they had gone through with it and tried to resume a relationship as Rose would have been a much better partner than Corbin. (Ew. Corbin. Ugh.)

Yes, I love how Lysander is jumping in to defend Lily from Archie. Speaking of Archie, how could his personality and behaviour have shifted so much? He did a 180 degree switch in a few chapters? Did he even love Lily in the first place? Or is he just excessively bitter after the relationship ended?

I noticed a few typos:

into a deeper scowl that it previously wore - than it previously wore

Making up her mind to interact with that creep - mind not to interact. I know it's technically not a typo, but since Lily is heading to Floo to avoid Archie, I think there's a word missing.

I really enjoyed this chapter (like I enjoy all of your writing, tearful as it may make me)!

~Olivia

 Report Review

Review #25, by Claire Evergreen In the Waiting Line

16th April 2017:
Back for CTF!

I really love how you keep alternating perspectives. I feel like that could be distracting and overwhelming in such compressed doses, but you pull it off so well. I feel like the story wouldn't be the same without the jumps. This kind of story with all of the interconnected story lines. It really helps to see how everyone reacts to everything and gives the feeling of a whole complete story. Not that it wouldn't be without it, but you have such real and rich characters that it would be a shame if we didn't get inside all of their heads.

I also love how you have the big overarching plot but it breaks down to each separate character. It really gives the sense that they are all real people with real people problems that they need to figure out. I love how all of the problems intersect, but they still stand on their own. Like, Rose's story line could be its own story and so could the Albus/Scorpius/Brandon story line and even James could be on his own. But they all compliment each other so nicely that it would be a shame if we weren't able to get everything all at once. Basically, I am so ridiculous impressed with how you've balanced everything out.

Can't wait to read more!

Claire

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>