Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.

Reading Reviews for Put On Notice
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by FireOpalQueen Put On Notice

16th August 2015:
Haha, this was such a funny little story! Favourite’d for sure! : )

Scorpius sort of reminds me of the archetypical ‘Private Eye’, narrating his way through life. (Oh, and in the beginning he sorta reminded me of Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables what with the noticing of a red-haired classmate and, well, the ‘hair on fire incident’, though in this story the incident in question is very different from the one where Gilbert ends up with a slate broken over his head, haha. But I digress… No, wait! He reminds me a bit of Locke Lamora too!)

I had no idea where this was going – you set up the clichéd meeting at a random place and then you subverted it completely! I was so sure that brunette was a polyjuice’d Rose Weasley! So sure. But this way is actually much better!

I love how self-centered and ridiculous this Scorpius is, and that he has built this whole narrative around him and Rose that has almost no basis in reality. It’s probably not very fun for Rose to be stalked, though, but… Yeah. And aw, rich kid vigilante saving kids with illegal unicorn blood, that’s cute. : P Though, just a minor thing, you mention a red blood stain, but in the Philosopher’s Stone it’s mentioned that unicorn blood is silver in colour…

My favourite lines were “Mystery. Intrigue. Too much alcohol, perhaps?” – very Private I – and Scorpius showing his hand with his “Oh, blimey! You're that assistant that sits behind her with the paperclip chain hanging off your lamp!”, haha.

Oh, and speaking of that I also loved Scorpius giving himself away by mentioning smuggling. Not as smart as you think, are you, Malfoy-boy? : P

All in all a fun, short read that went against type and repeatedly played me for a fool. Well done! : )


Author's Response:

Ahh, thanks! This was a bear to write under the challenge circumstances, but I kinda adore the end result, even a year later.

Well, let's just overlook that little bit about what color Unicorn blood is. Maybe it stains red or something... it was close to 3 am when I posted this, if I recall... so I'll use that as my canon-breaking excuse.

Nah, he's not as smart as he thinks, that's for sure. I'm glad I was able to surprise you with this. It still makes me smile when I re-read it from time to time.

Thanks so much for your review!


 Report Review

Review #2, by navyfail Put On Notice

25th July 2015:
Hello! I'm ~chocolate at the forums, here for the review swap.

I never get sick of ScoRose stories and Scorpius is one of my favorite Next Gen characters so I really enjoyed this.

This was a really cute one-shot. I love how he keeps thinking about how she shouldn't be thinking of Rose and then ends up thinking about her anyway. And the fact that he remembers all those incidents that happened in class just shows how much he noticed her.

And this:
"He'd only seen her a handful of times in the last two years. Ten, or fifteen times at the most, he decided."
^^ Oh Scorpius, I honestly think ten or fifteen times is pushing a handful.

I really like how you used so many parenthesis and integrated them into the story as well.

Also, when he calls over the brunette girl and starts comparing her to Rose I honestly couldn't stop smiling on the inside. And the end... I really didn't expect that! But Rose got him good. I wonder how he's going get out of stalking charges.

Really cute one-shot! The writing style really worked with the story you were trying to tell and I love your characterization of Scorpius!


Author's Response:

Hi, and thanks for the swap!

Ah, ScoRose. I never know what to think aobut these stories. Part of my loves them, and part of me screams "why are we doing this again??"

Haha, I loved playing with this character. He seems like he'd be all smarmy and self-assured, and I just wanted to take him down about ten pegs. The parenthesis were essential to get his thinking across. He justifies SO MUCH about his behavior. Ugh!

Thanks so much for the review!


 Report Review

Review #3, by Crumple-Horned Snorkack Put On Notice

3rd May 2015:
Greetings from the Crumple-Horned Snorkack! While I normally enjoy my spare time by hiding from humans (particularly old Xeno Lovegood), today I've decided to branch out a bit and hid in the internet so I could read some stories. I'm very glad to have found yours!

This was quite an interesting story, and until the very last line I had no idea where you were going with it, so I loved that - the end was totally unexpected. I had been assuming he'd meet up with Rose again in the end, but I far prefer your way. I like it when things surprise me, except for when humans appear out of nowhere in the middle of my forest and try to search for me.

Looking back at it now, I feel like I should have seen it coming - the hints were there, as the entire fic was Scorpius thinking rather obsessively about her. I think I was more focused on other things though, like the fact that he illegally smuggled potions to save children. The ends justify the means, I suppose. This is how I justify my tendency to hide in the woods and retreat from humans: if they were to find and pursue me, they would most certainly get lost in the forest and perish, therefore by hiding I am saving them from that fate.

I really enjoyed reading this story, and absolutely loved that plot twist at the end - it was perfect. Wonderful work on this! And now, I'm off to meet Bigfoot for tea and scones. Cheerio!

Author's Response: Wowee!!!

I would love to have more spare time, so I can go and hide form humans too. Maybe I should take some tips from you. Care to share?

So, you had no idea where I was going with this until the last line, huh? I hope that means that you didn't get lost. I think that hiding id doubly difficult when someone gets lost. Does that mean that the hiding becomes accidental? Or is it actually easier to hide when you don't know where you are? These are ponderous things.

Anyway, thanks so much for the surprising and sweet review! You are a great creature, and I hope to catch another glimpse of you around the bend one day!

Say hello to Bigfoot for me!

 Report Review

Review #4, by The Procrastinator Put On Notice

19th April 2015:
Hi *waves*

I'm The Procrastinator. I've seen you around the forums, and thought it was about time I read something of yours. I have been planning to do so for a while, but, you know... I'm a procrastinator. It takes me a while to get things done, but I'm here now to finally leave you the review.

This was really surprising. I did not see that twist coming. I mean, I could tell Scorpius really liked Rose, but not that he was stalking her. But looking back at the story now, I can actually see there was some clear signs pointing towards it, but I guess I just didn't think too much of it. So the end just really surprised me, but I like that. It's always nice to be a little surprised, I think.

I really like Scorpius. He has a good narrative voice, and I like that it was clear from pretty early on that he liked Rose more than he said he did. That can often be hard to get across, because we can't actually hear the tone of voice in which he says it, but you still managed to make it visible that his words/thoughts and the truth were very different from each other. So good job on that!

I loved that Scorpius broke the law to save people. It was kind of Robin Hood thing there, and ... what is that saying again? I think it is something like "the end justifies the means", but I could be way off. The English sayings are so different from the ones in my country, so it's hard to follow sometimes. But yes, as someone that wishes to have a law-related job, I think that is a very interesting perspective. Because in some cases, breaking the law really does help a lot of people, but then again the law is there for a reason. I've actually had many homework assignments that are real life cases where one of the parties have said that they broke the law to "follow the law" or to "save people". Of course, they don't actually get that far with it, seeing as they still broke the law. But it's definitely one of the more interesting sides of law in my opinion, because they did have a very good reason to break the law.

Anyway, being the procrastinator I am, I'm late to doing a lot of different things. Therefore I can't stay here any longer, but you'll probably see me over at the forums in my real name (a lot of people misunderstands this, but it means you'll see my name, it's not a clue to us being close or talking frequently. It's just my way of saying that I'm also a member over at the forums, and if you want to you can find me there). I can't give you my name, but I will give you a little clue:

Your clue:

Procrastinating or lateness
To me it's all the same
I can't ever do things timely
To be late is in my name

Hope you are far better than me at not procrastinating things, and may you have a wonderful day!


The Procrastinator

Author's Response:

Hello, Procrastinator. Are you sure you aren't supposed to be doing something else right now? :P

Ah, yes. Twisty endings. We all want to be surprised, right? It would be boring if this ended just the way we thought. It'd be, "Why'd we write this, if we already knew what was going to happen?"


Scorpius' voice was really fun to play with. He's got this self-assured, smarmy thing going on where he knows he has all the answers. Except he has no clue that Rose is on to him. I doubt things went very smoothly afterwards and I don't think he got the recognition that he wanted.

Poor guy!

Not really.

Thanks so much for your review! You are most generous to do this crazy review-a-thon, and I'm proud to have been a small part of it.


 Report Review

Review #5, by Gladis Gudgeon Put On Notice

6th December 2014:
Review Tag
Throughout the whole story it is pretty clear that there is going to be a surprise at the end and Scorpius it quite a bit more attached to Rose than he thinks he is, but I still didn't see coming the stalking. I thought it was very well done. It could use maybe a couple more sensory details and maybe a bit more dialog, but for the most part I was extremely impressed by the elegant story structure and spot on characterization. The story was not quite to my taste, but that's not your fault, and It makes it all the more impressive that I found it enjoyable anyway. 9/10
Gladis G.

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks for the compliments on the story, even though it wasn't your cup of tea. I appreciate your comments!

 Report Review

Review #6, by Lostmyheart Put On Notice

21st September 2014:
What. This was brilliant!
I'm here for the Review Tag, and I'm so glad I picked this story.

I love your humoristic details in the story, and how much he actually thinks about Rose, despite trying to convince himself he doesn't like her.
I noticed the mention of Rose's hair a lot, and the back of her head, which made me think that he watched her instead of meeting her. And the ending was such a fun twist! Of course! :D haha.

And like any creep, he doesn't know what he's doing is wrong, it's seems natural to him or he doesn't have a great sense of right and wrong.

It was fun to read, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

- Avi

Author's Response:

Oh, hey!

What. That was pretty much my response when I finished writing this. What. Is. This. :P

I don't know, but it made me laugh, so I kept it. I'm glad it made you laugh too. It's kind of sad, but kind of not. Scorpius just doesn't know what he's doing, and if Rose only knew how much she'd affected him... well, I supposed that'd be a different story.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #7, by CambAngst Put On Notice

9th July 2014:
Hi, pix! I'm here to win another valuable point in Ye Olde House Cup. Also, to finally read and review your story, which I have been missing out on. So first off, let's deal with the formalities:

House Cup 2014 Review

Now, with that out of the way, may I say what a great job you did of nestling yourself inside Scorpius's over-inflated blond head and getting comfortable. The voice you captured in this story was excellent: smug, self-important and cocky, but with just enough self-doubt and introspection to make him interesting. Interesting and more than a little comical. To briefly and inadequately summarize: "Who needs Rose Weasley? Not me, that's for sure! I just like to stare at her, you know, from a distance. And do foolish things to make her annoyed at me. Because if she's annoyed at me, she's paying attention to me, not that I need her attention! Or even want her attention. I just enjoy knowing that I'm on her mind somewhere..." It's a bit pathetic, but in a cute sort of way.

It seems that he's turned into something of a Robin Hood, flaunting the Ministry's law in order to help the weak and powerless. It's funny how he wants Rose to not only know what a bad thing he's done, but also appreciate it for his noble intentions.

The only thing I can critique you for a bit is that sometimes the timeline of the events Scorpius is thinking about gets hard to follow. He's sort of bouncing around between different years they were at Hogwarts together, and the events are a little hard to put in any sort of order. Then there's an implication that he hasn't seen her since leaving Hogwarts, but it's pretty obvious that he has. There's almost a schizophrenic quality to it, which perhaps was what you were going for. In that case, bravo!

Good job, and I hope you did well in the challenge!

Author's Response: Hi there! House Cup time!

Sorry for the crazy delay in my response. The House Cup was very good to me as far as reviews went. I am grateful, and also finally catching up on responses.

That said, I can't believe you actually read this thing. It's by far not my best writing, and at best, it's the most-rushed, least-edited piece on my author's page. Ah well. I'm marking this as another milestone and moving on.

Haha! I guess when I'm in a pinch, I default to snark. Your summary pretty much hit home the character of Scorpius Malfoy in this story. Yes, cute and pathetic. Because pathetic alone wouldn't make him very attractive, and then half of fanfic world would be setting fire to my author's page and sending me hate mail.

The timeline bouncing was probably a combination of fatigue and a looming deadline. I didn't have sufficient time to revise the way I usually do, and it was posted practically as soon as I finished it. Crazy. In spite of that, I don't hate it. It still makes me chuckle, so I guess it came out alright. I was probably slightly schizophrenic when I was writing it, but hey, if it works for the character, I run with it. lol!

Thanks for the review!

 Report Review

Review #8, by missclaire17 Put On Notice

26th March 2014:
I found this ScoRose extremely entertaining even though Rose didn't even make an appearance. Scorpius's constant babble and mind monologue about Rose told more than he could ever say in words regarding his feelings towards Rose.

Another thing that was interesting was Scorpius's regard towards rules, about how they were for other people but not him. In a way, I can see Scorpius thinking like that but also, I can also see him not thinking that way.

Scorpius's personality is usually an enigma left up to the author, and I love to think about Scorpius being a little troublemaker to gain some friends people he's not a natural people-pleaser, perhaps due to the fact that he is (seemingly) an only child and because of his family (as sad as it is that someone is judged for that sort of thing).

It's rather hilarious that Scorpius is being brought in on stalking charges. It seems to me that he is mentally stalking Rose xD

Good job! :)

Author's Response: Hi missclaire!

Oh, I'm so glad you found this entertaining. That's what it was written for, after all. :) Yeah, and who needs BOTH characters to make an appearance when one works just as well? :P

In this story, it's all Scorpius thinks about, and how he tries forever to NOT think about Rose. Haha!

I couldn't resist putting a twist to this. Thanks so much for dropping in, reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #9, by Maelody Put On Notice

1st March 2014:
Oooh! Ouch! Haha. Poor Scorpius! Though, he was just a little stalker-ish haha.

If she's an assistant though, can she really arrest him? What does Rose do exactly? And I guess she finally got the revenge she always wanted, though it's a little sad it happened like that. He's a do-gooder! Poor guy!

I wish it would have gone into detail on why he was back to talking to that girl at Hogwarts. Then I'd know who to side with haha. Maybe he was talking to her for a charity reason? XD

The fact that he lives off his parents' money makes me laugh. I can actually see him doing that! The little git. At least he uses it for good! Maybe Rose will clue two and two together and drop charges? Maybe?

So he got Firewhisky at a muggle pub with a one-eyes barmaid? Sounds like a shifty place! Haha though the comparison between the brunette and Rose was hilarious, and for her to turn out to be her assistant made it all the more hilarious! A paperclip chain? Awesome! Though definitely stalkerish xD. And to think, he thought Rose wouldn't look for him there! Looks like she's stalking him!

This story was definitely hilarious, and a great continuation to the first piece. I like how they definitely stray from the normal romance, and cover the ultimate romance you don't want (stalkers). You guys did a great job and I wish you two the best of luck!


Author's Response:

Hi! As I've said to the other reviewers who are going through these entries, thank you so much for doing this for all of us! I couldn't believe how many entries were submitted for this challenge, and having lovely people like you reviewing them makes it all the more special!

I never go into detail about exactly what Rose does or what her assistant is capable of, because the only thing relevant is that her assistant CAN and does arrest him. So you can extrapolate from that. :) Also, my brain had very little logic left in it when I was about to post, so it really never crossed my mind to flesh that bit out. Haha!

Yeah, I wasn't able to get that connection with the other girl from Hogwarts. I would have loved to have more connections with my partner piece, but alas! We did what we could to come together. I gave a lot of possibilities, and I like your thinking that maybe he was talking to her for reasons other than cheating on Rose.

Aww, you are quite the romantic! I suppose that Scorpius could prove to Rose that he's worth more than she thinks he is. Maybe she'll see it that way, maybe she won't.

Yeah, leave it to Scorpius to find a Muggle bar with Firewhisky and a one-eyed crone. I wouldn't put it past him. ;) And yes, definitely stalkerish!

You're the first reviewer to point out that Rose was probably keeping stalkerish tabs on HIM, if she knew where to send her assistant to pick him up. Hahaha! Serves them both right!

Thanks so much again for the review!

 Report Review

Review #10, by Singularity Put On Notice

26th February 2014:
I kind of loved this. Scorpius's voice was just so much fun to read and his asides to himself were often quite hilarious. But there were also some really endearing moments, like when he tries to remember the first time he saw Rose, but can't remember.

You did a good job of tying your story back to your partner's as well. In her story, we saw a lot of Rose noticing Scorpius, and in yours, he keeps tabs on her (I loved the bit about how that had run into each other a handful of times...or 10-15, but they were all accidental...at least as far as Rose was concerned. Lol :))

This is not at all how I pictured the follow up to stargazing's story, but it works really well. And the ending, simply brilliant. I actually laughed out loud. In retrospect, yeah, that kind of /is/ stalking, isn't it? Not the happy ending I was hoping for, but a really great ending to this chapter. I sincerely hope you'll write a follow up to this, because I would really love to see what happens next!

Author's Response:

Hey! Yeah, poor Scorpius. I couldn't help but make things awful for him. Yay! You noticed the connections! When my partner wrote all those moments from Rose's pov, I knew I wanted to mirror them, but from a completely different angle.

I know this was supposed to be in the Romance genre, but when the story started developing into what it was, I simply couldn't help myself. All the pieces were there, and I just put them together.

Thanks so much for the great review! I'm so happy you took the time to read and review out entries!

 Report Review

Review #11, by 800 words of heaven Put On Notice

22nd February 2014:

... Also, I'm on a mission to review all the Speed Dating entries, so this is killing two (metaphorical) birds with one stone!

OMG! I am laughing so hard! I actually adore Scorpius. So what if he's being brought in on stalking charges? No one's perfect. And I loved how much in denial he is about Rose Weasley, yet can't stop thinking about her at all - ver endearing.

I also love how he thinks he's some sort of superhero! I can see the elements - all he needs is a tragic backstory and he's all set to be the next Batman ;P I'm loving that he's a smuggler, for good reasons or bad, who really knows? I'm sure he is saving some children's lives along the way, but not without great personal profit!

Okay, so this was wonderful! I'm off to read your partner's entry now! Fantastic job and good luck :)

Author's Response: Yay!

Kudos to you and everyone else who has even thought of reviewing all of the speed dating entries. There are SO MANY, it's unbelievable! I haven't read every single one, but the ones I have gotten to were fantastic!

Haha! Poor Scorpius! I can totally see him as Batman, and don't worry. I'm sure that Scorpius will concoct his own tragic back story. Just ask him. He's got it ALL. ;P

Thanks so much for the review, and for reviewing as many entries as you can. We all appreciate that greatly!

 Report Review

Review #12, by writeyourheartout Put On Notice

21st February 2014:
Hi there, Pix! I come bearing the gift of a review! Yay! ^.^

Ugh, this came out so great! How did you do this? I can't believe how critical you were of it at first because it really turned out pretty darn awesome - especially considering the time frame and circumstances! Not that I ever doubted it would be anything less than that - you've always been able to craft these funny, witty, interesting, and surprising stories in no time at all! You've simply done it again here. The whole story from start to finish was just delightful, it really was. :)

I hate you.

haha No, I kid, I kid. It's really, really great, Pix! Not to mention the fact that you were also able to fit in a handful of connections to your partners story, as well, which I wasn't expecting at all because of how little time you two had to compare details! I'll tell you this much: I couldn't have done it if I'd been in your boat. But I won't dwell on that train of thought here... to the story!

"Scorpius Malfoy walked into the Dripping Dregs pub, utterly chuffed over his good fortune." - Perfect opening line. 'Utterly chuffed' - love it. hehehe

Scorpius came out wonderfully! I love how you chose to develop his character! He's a great balance of all things: stubborn, but kind, stuck in the past, but building a future, a criminal, but a good samaritan. He's almost an oxymoron with all of these opposing characteristics battling it out, but that's what makes him such a great character; he very realistically reflects human nature. And he's so in denial. SO. MUCH. DENIAL. I just love that so much of who he is these days is based on the idea of what Rose might think of him; a few years worth of becoming this person he might someday get to rub Rose's nose in and yell, 'Ha!' at. As sort of sad and pathetic as that is, it's also a very real trait that a lot of people have - this desire to prove to those who have hurt them wrong, especially when it's someone as deep seeded as a person you once had feelings for.

Rose is great as well, even though we only get a second-hand look at her in this story. The way Scorpius talks about her paints a very clear - if not somewhat bias - picture of who she is and of the relationship the two have had. From her love of all things rule-related to her "sterling reputation" to her ability to always gain the upper hand and best Scorpius, she's the exact type of person a Malfoy would feel so bitterly towards. I particularly loved this line about her: " Following rules, creating rules, altering rules to be fair and equitable for all... if it was in the name of justice and righteousness, Rose Weasley jumped on the Troll Trolley." - Troll Trolley... Hahaha

The twist ending was perfect. So funny and the exact kind of surprise I should know to expect from you by now, but still always manage to be fooled by. It's great, because you really set us up for that idea that he's clearly following her very closely and being a little creepy about it all, but leading us astray with the distraction of how if he's going to get into trouble, it will be for his illegal smuggling, and not for being a creeper. hehehe "He'd only seen her a handful of times in the last two years. Ten, or fifteen times at the most, he decided. And all those instances had been purely unintentional (on her part) and random (also on her part). The back of her head had never looked so good." and "He thought for a second of looking her up (she was still in the Ministry building at this hour), for old times' sake (because he'd seen her leave for an early lunch, which probably meant she'd be working late tonight), so he could rub his successful, useful self in her face." - You are literally dangling his stalkerish behavior in front of, but distracting us with this illegal smuggling business so that I can't see the trickery - you're a magician! :-p

I love how clever he thinks he is, even as he's being arrested - so certain that he's covered all his tracks. Although I feel like bringing up the smuggling before the brunette said a word and the fact that he has actual blood on his sleeve might be incriminating, but hey - at least he's not getting taken away for that after all, is he? :-p Too funny.

"Face it, he grumbled to himself." - I might consider italicizing the 'Face it' here, but it's a minor thing either way. ^.^

"Scorpius' face went slack. "Weasley?" His face contorted. "Oh, blimey! You're that assistant that sits behind her with the paperclip chain hanging off your lamp!"" - I thought this moment/line felt just a tiny bit rushed. I think something as simple as giving Scorpius an internal moment of recognition, in which we see it finally dawn upon him that he's seen this girl before, before announcing who she is, would take care of that. Literally that was the only spot that felt even slightly that way, though, which is insane considering how quickly this was written. :-p

Overall, this was just fantastic. It really was enjoyable and clever and fun the entire way through, and it's got a very distinctly you sort of feel to it, which is just great. I know you weren't thrilled with this story when it first went up and I know it was a struggle for you getting it to come together, but you should honestly be really proud of yourself, because it turned out wonderfully. :)

*hands over Spoon of Kudos* ;)

Tanya ^.^

 Report Review

Review #13, by Lululuna Put On Notice

20th February 2014:
Hello! :) I actually read your partner's story last night and started on this one, but the internet decided to die. :( But I'm here now, and really loving this! :)

Ah, I love the old crone with one eye! That's such a great detail which I imagine would be more common in the wizarding world. The idea of her "singular eyebrow" made me laugh as well as it was such an odd image.

Haha, I really love the characters you both created and explored in the stories. Rose the rule breaker is fantastic, and Scorpius the arrogant, slightly criminal troublemaker is hilarious as well. You did an amazing job of capturing his swagger and his rather obsessive thinking about Rose. This line really made me laugh:

The back of her head had never looked so good. It was just so strange and gave me this image of Scorpius admiring the back of her head from a hiding place, haha. How he kept mentioning how much he hated her and was irritated with her, but admiring how much he liked her at the same time, was so humourous for me. He was a great anti-hero in that I was really looking forward for him being made a fool of, and the way the story ended was just poetic justice.

You did a great job with this, it was so well-written and entertaining! :) Loved it!

Author's Response: Hi there!

First, let me tell you how wonderful it is that you're taking the time to not only read, but also review all these entries. That is so sweet and takes a lot of time and effort, and you are very appreciated!!

Scorpius seems to have a hair fetish here, haha! I loved that about him, and I played it up as much as I could. It was such fun! In fact, the whole idea of Scorpius, the jilted one was such a fun idea. Not fun for him, obviously, because he was seriously hurt in the feels back at Hogwarts, but just to have him harbor all those feelings still, and then in his mind, play it out that he's over her when he's not.

Thanks so much for the great review!

 Report Review

Review #14, by HeyMrsPotter Put On Notice

19th February 2014:
Hi! I just came from reading the first half of yours and your partner's entry for the speed dating and loved it. I really like that you've used Scorpius and Rose in both but have such a big gap between the events. (Though the romantic in me was hoping your story would have been like 5 minutes later when they had kissed and made up and lived happily ever after but yours would have been a very short story!)

So, I like that your Scorpius fits well with Scorpius from the first part of the story, there's great continuity in the fact that he's a little arrogant but not overly so, and very stubborn. I love that his thought process is completely centred on Rose even though he tries his best to ignore it. And the fact that he is essentially stalking her and knows his routine just proves that he is still completely in love with her as much as he would like to not be.

What I loved most about this story though was that the ending was completely unpredictable! I was fully expecting Rose to walk in and for them to have a deep and meaningful conversation, a passionate kiss and that be the end! But no! Instead there was this brilliant plot twist! I love love LOVED it! It was clever and funny, and even though Scorp and Rose didn't get their mushy happy ending, he definitely deserved to be arrested for stalking!

Brilliant, just brilliant.

Dee :)

Author's Response: Hi!

You are doing an incredible thing by reviewing these entries. I can not tell you how much I (and everyone else) appreciate what you are doing. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

In the first piece, it was all Rose did: think constantly about Scorpius. This is the other side of that, where Scorpius is thinking all Rose, all the time. You're right. If I'd taken the easy way out, it would have been a VERY short story, and not as much fun to write. I'm not that big of a romantic when it comes to writing, so let's just say that I questioned my own sanity when I signed up for this challenge. I think the results were pretty good, though. :)

I am so glad to hear that you were surprised by the ending. I was surprised by it too! I had someone read it over when I first thought that I was done with it, and they were all, "that's it? that's the end?" And then I saw that I wasn't done at all, and added those last few lines. It was what my muse wanted all along, but some time in the middle of the night (morning, whatever) my brain seized up and I couldn't remember what I was doing. Anyway, it turned out pretty good, I think.

Thanks so much for the great review!

 Report Review

Review #15, by nott theodore Put On Notice

18th February 2014:
Hi Pix!

Ah, this was a great continuation of the first story! I loved seeing this from Scorpius's point of view a few years later on, especially with the incredible insight that you managed to give to his character in such a short piece.

(Also, the editing is incredible, because I didn't spot a single mistake here.)

I couldn't help laughing a bit at some of the different points in this story, like the name of the pub that he was sitting in, and the way that he thought about different things. The tone felt just right for this story and I'm so impressed by what you managed in the time!

I loved the way that you developed the character we saw from Rose's perspective in the first story to someone who seemed to have much more depth. The reasons that he decided to start pranking were believable but they seemed to be rushed through, as if Scorpius didn't want to dwell on the bad things in his life.

The way that he was constantly trying to reassure himself about how great he had become was great - as was his profession, a vigilante smuggler! It's certainly not the typical next generation profession I tend to see :P I think my favourite part about this story was the way that you used the brackets to reveal Scorpius's real thoughts, that he wasn't as 'over' Rose as he was pretending to be to himself. It was almost like there were two sides of him, fighting it out - the fact that he'd only seen Rose a few times, then that was actually all him doing it deliberately... it all built really well to the ending, which still managed to surprise me a bit!

I couldn't help but laugh at the ending, that Scorpius was being brought in on stalking charges rather than smuggling, and Scorpius was just there hoping she'd see how brilliant he was (and probably that she'd fall in love with him again). It's a really original twist and I didn't expect to find that in any of the speed dating entries!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!

I got a first review! Yay! Thanks so much for reviewing these entries. It's a big job, and you guys who are doing it are awesomesauce!!

My brain was seriously fried after this. I can't believe it was even readable at this point. Haha! And that tone, that's what you call sheer desperation. But it worked. :)

That's it exactly. There's the person we are, the person we want to be, and the person that everyone else thinks we are. If I were clever, I might have played with all three... I bet that would have made for an interesting piece. Haha!

I'm so happy you liked the twist at the end! It made it feel complete, and I'm still not sure where it came from.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review!!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login