hi! I hope you don't mind criticism.at first your story seemed to progress real fast. i like the story but they are many parts missing. like in this one for example nothing was told about their year long engagement and the reason behind it. last ch draco made it clear that he can't stand watching the love of his life marrying someone else but now we see that he is at the wedding. if draco and blaise were such good friends how is that he is not one of the groomsmen? waht is the deal with his new girlfriend.
plz don't hate me for this but your story has so much potential. I guess a bit more elaboration will work wonders! update soon!!
Author's Response: Hey, thanks for your review. And first of all, I don't mind criticism, not at all, it really helps sometimes.
For your topics, yeah, I guess you're right, I could explain it a little more (guess it never came to mind, but if you're writing it yourself you don't notice that some parts are missing, because it's all in my head :D ). So thanks for the ideas, I'll try to bear it in mind and elaborate on a few points you've mentioned in the next chapter, or maybe add a few things in the older ones.
this is a lovely story. I really love reading it and cant wait for more of it to come. I am a big fan of dramione and although i didnt like it when blaise and hermione got together, i really loved the way it was written :) i hope you give us more of dramione in the future :) waiting for the next one :) good luck :)
Author's Response: Hey,
thank you for your lovely review :)
I first planned it to be a Dramione story, but then I found the pairing of Blaise and Hermione more interesting and decided to change it in the story.
But you can be sure that there'll be more Dramione stories to come (just not in this story, I'm afraid) :)
So, I think this was a good start to your story. I like your choice of song for the story as it suits the mood. Hermione and Draco are a little OOC here but that's a given since this is a dramione and its post-war.
However, I think this chapter could definitely be better if you included some backstory on Hermione & Draco, in the form of flashback or plain narration, of their situations and thoughts after the war and how they came to be in the present situation. Ideally it should be in the first chapter, but you could always include it later on (in the first few chapters preferably) so it builds a setting for the plot. Your grammar and sentence phrasing could also do with some improvement so I guess it'd be better if you could get a beta.
Apart from that, all I have to say is, keep writing. As you write, you improve. I am sure the plot you have in mind is interesting and I can see the story going in a good direction. This first chapter made for a nice read and I like the idea of Draco helping Hermione against her bad relationship with Ron.
Author's Response: Hey,
thanks for the ideas, I'll definitely think about that while continuing the story. I wasn't that happy with my first chapter, but I didn't really know what it was that was missing.
Yeah, maybe some native speaker could help me improve in some points.
Thanks for reviewing,
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