Reading Reviews for Sticks and Stones
40 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Maelody This Means War...or Friendship

7th March 2014:
Hey there! I'm finally done with my bit of the competition, so I can come and review this now! :D Sorry it took me a bit after I read this ;).

So I think it's cute that they can manage to be somewhat friends after what she did to him, though I still think he needs to be careful around her ;).

I was right by the way! She's totally a prophet worker! I just sort of put it together with the title (brilliantly thought up, by the way, with her profession being a highlighted feature of the story). Sticks and Stones may break my bones but WORDS will never hurt me. Oh, James, be careful there buddy! Your career lies in the hands of that woman!

I do think she blew it a little out of proportion, though. Why be so negative toward him when he did help her? He saved her from a cheat and a liar? Sure, she was embarrassed, but once people start going around asking why he ruined her wedding in the first place, admitting to being in a 'meh' relationship and knowingly marrying someone who cheated countless of time may hurt her credibility as an author! I hope she experiences sweet revenge! ;)

This is adorable, and as I stated before, I do hope that working together can get your muse back and going for this story! It really deserves the love and dedication you've put into it! It's amazing so far! :D


Author's Response: No! Don't be sorry Mae!Im sorry for getting to this so late!!

Hahaha, yeah. Thats James main personality- he's really trusting :)

Hahahaha- thanks :D Yeah, its a lot to do with the story and the plot. After its how James and Pippa meet so her occupation is really really important! Hahahaha, exactly ;) But ily James for that :) His trusting nature :D

Yeah- Pippa's really just channeling the frustration from her (not good) relationship and taking it out on the others :) Oh she will, she definitely will :) And ill give you a spoiler, its in the form of humiliation ;)

Thank you! Im glad you liked it! And it totally did! Thank you for doing the collab with me! :D

-Curie :)

 Report Review

Review #2, by Maelody I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

6th March 2014:
Hey! Coming over to check out my soon to be collab partner's current works! ;)

This is pretty cool! I tend to like humorous situations like this in movies, so it was definitely unique to read about it! I wonder what brought the boys (men?) to break the news right at the alter and not sooner? I mean, at least they did it before it was too late, right? xD

Pippa! I love the name! And her personality seems to fit it extremely well! It just reminds me of a fiery soul haha. :)

So Peter and Amy had 'an accident', and James and Mason know about it? Hmmm, I wonder what the back story is there other than it just being an old school fling. And poor Pippa! Though, the beginning made it sound like maybe she would have regretted marrying Peter. How she didn't like how boring and monotone he was. Perhaps the two men saved her from a long, broken relationship! Woot! Way to go Potter and Finnigan!

I think this is a cool start to something I think I've never read before. And that maybe Pippa is a journalist? Or Unspeakable? Or something else in the Ministry? I really don't know! xD

I think I might just have to continue on reading to find out! :D


Author's Response: Hi again Mae!!

Thank you so much! It was actually playing in my head as i wrote the scene! I imagine everything i write as movies scenes- so wow, we think alike! Oh, they were actually just saw the wedding and walked in (not aware that Peter had a fiancee) I shall make that clearer :)

Thank you! I think i spent way more time picking out her name than actually writing the chapter! Hahaha, that is so true about her!

Yeah… ;) Oh, it was an affair :P Hahaha, yes! Go Potter and Finnigan! And maybe… ;) You'll just have to wait and see ;P

Hahahaha- thanks Mae for the awesome review! And i know you know now, but its not that interesting ;P

-Curie :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by Infinityx I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

6th February 2014:
Who on earth is this girl? :o

Here for the BvB review battle, by the way.

Pippa's character is one of the most interesting I've come across. She just radiates a cunning aura and I am extremely intrigued about her and what's about to happen.

I found it a little weird that James and Mason crashed the wedding. They must really hate Peter for some reason, since they don't know Pippa and she can't be the reason for them doing so. I wonder what the story behind them is...

This chapter surely leaves behind a lot of questions. I like how you've brought in Allegra's character and the way she understands Pippa's tone and the undercurrents to it.

I felt this chapter to be a bit too fast paced though. Things just keep happening one after the other and there's no emphasis on the details of any single event. But the effect was strongly portrayed though. There was action and certain mysterious tone from the very beginning, so I can't wait to see what's coming up.

I hope there'll be a bit more background on all the characters that were introduced in this chapter for there are quite a few loose ends to what just happened. I'll definitely come back to read on and find out!

- Erin

Author's Response: Hello again! :D

Thank you! Such a HUGE compliment! :D I'm glad she's cunning! I wanted her to be witty and I'm glad that came across! :)

Hehe, you'll have to see... ;) They definitely don't like peter!

Thank you! I'm glad! It's meant to leave a lot of questions

Yeah, I understand. I will definitely go back and add more description :) Thank you! Lovely comment! Thanks again! :D

Hehe, definitely! There will definitely be more background! :D

-Curie :)

 Report Review

Review #4, by kenpo Unexpected

28th January 2014:
Here for your requested review (finally)!

And yay! I keep thinking about this story, but I have a really scattered brain and I can never remember what it's called or who wrote it, but here it is!

Yay! We're starting off with James and Mason! I'm a sucker for a good bromance.

It seems like you're having a tab bit of trouble with some of the dialogue. Make sure you're not always using periods. If you use "he said" or "he replied" or something, use a comma.

"I ate too much," she said as she rubbed her belly and let out a groan.
"I ate too much." She rubbed her belly and let out a groan.
There's a good forum post on dialogue. Rumpelstiltskin also did a great blog post about it.

I think James should probably watch his back, too... I'm not sure if I trust her...

Oh! There are some things I would very much like to say to Amy, but I will refrain because this is a review and it has to be 12+! I would like to say some not-12+ things to Amy!

Hmm. Once Felicity came into the room, I got a little confused as to what was going on and who didn't like who.

I officially am picturing Mr. Montgomery as Teddy Roosevelt. That's not a bad thing, but interesting for me...

Oh! Did she write another article about James? Am I totally right about not trusting her?

OUCH! You go, girl! Pippa's got SASS.

YES IS GINNY GONNA GO ALL MAMA-BEAR? Or get sassy? I want Ginny to get sassy. In the next chapter or two, I expect her to get sassy to SOMEONE. Please. I don't even care who it is. I love sassy characters, and Sassy Ginny is the best.

Okay. Sorry.

Haha, I liked this chapter. I'm really interested in the fic
Ew. Gross. Peter, go away.
Wait I don't know where that last line came from. I think I typed it earlier but then accidentally clicked above it when I started typing.

Hmmm... What did Pippa write?
Something about James and Mason? Because Mason complained about how he almost lost his job, so maybe it's clever foreshadowing? Or something about the entire Potter-Weasley clan? I don't know. But I'd like to find out! Keep updating! Sorry this review was so late!

Author's Response: Hehe, thank u! Time doesn't matter at all!

Haha, OMG THAT COMMENT MADE MY DAY, LIKE 15 TIMES! The fact that someone thought about my story! squee!

Eugh. Grammar is my eternal enemy. So thank u so much for pointing that out! :D Yeah, I'll go check out Rumpel's blog right away! :D

Hehe, I think you are right on that one :)

I know right. But, I love her, in a love to hate her way! My favourite antagonist character to write! :D

Ok, I will go look over that too! :)

OMG OMG OMG! ME TOO! Thats what I pictured Mr Montgomery as too! :D

Hehe, you'll have to see ;) As you no doubt will when I request a review after posting the next chapter ;)

Haha, same! SASSY GINNY FTW! :D I'm a bit high on chocolate...Thats why theres so many caps! :D

Thank u! :D Yay! Thats such a HUGE compliment! :D Haha, it's okay! I love that line anyway!

Haha, you'll have to see! :D

Thank u for the super awesome review! No probs! :D And I will definitely update!

-Curie :D

 Report Review

Review #5, by academica I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

22nd January 2014:
Hello, here for our review swap!

Well, you didn't waste any time getting started with the action, did you? I get the sense that Pippa was more delighted by the chance to embarrass Peter than upset by the loss of her fiance, given the way she talked about him being boring right from the start. I kind of have to wonder why she agreed to marry him in the first place.

My only guess as to her job would be something like a spy, like maybe she was given the job of pretending to be his fiance to have his secretive activities exposed publicly. Maybe she works with James and Mason and is just pretending to be meeting them for the first time on her wedding day. I'm definitely curious about what her job could have to do with the plot, though.

This chapter was a bit zany for my taste, unfortunately. Everything happened so fast and with such intensity that I have trouble picturing the audience just sitting and letting it occur. If there would be any way to slow things down a bit and take more time for the details (others' reactions, emotions, etc.), I think that would make it easier to follow this initial chapter.

Good work, and thanks for the swap!


Author's Response: Hi!

Yeah, it was the more faster of my works. Hehe, I'm glad you picked that up! Especially as I didnt mean for that to happen, but that is actually right!

Haha, I wish it was that interesting! It is a very boring plot! But, hopefully, enough to pull through :)

I think it would be too zany for my taste too! If I was reading it, that is. But, thank you for the sweet review, even if it didnt interest you :) I will work towards controlling the flow better in my future edits :)

Thank u for the fun swap!

-Curie :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by navyfail I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

19th January 2014:
Hi! I'm here from the review swap!

Oh, you start the story off with a wedding! Very interesting.

And Peter why, oh why, did you cheat on her? Pippa is an intriguing character. And she has a hot temper. I wonder why she agreed to marry Peter in the first place. Does this have to do with her job? She's moved from France to Britain for some reason too. I'm very curious, indeed.

Oh, James and Mason! I like them. They are very cheeky and boyish. But why did they find a need to crash the wedding other than making sure Pippa didn't marry a dishonest man, of course?

The end leaves an air of mystery. And I can already tell a plot is starting to brew. I really like how you introduced your characters and how they'll develop throughout will be compelling.

Great first chapter!! And good luck on future chapters!


p.s. My guess is that she is an undercover agent of some sort.

Author's Response: Hi!

Would it be too cliche to say that the idea came to me in my dreams? ;) It actually did.

Well, it doesn't play a big part in the story. But, yes, it is to do with her job. Just an ordinary transfer :) Nothing spectacular I'm afraid :/

Haha, because they don't like him of course! But I cant tell you why! I'm glad you like them! Mason is my favourite character! :D

Thank you! And of course, thank you for an amazing review and review swap! :D


PS- I wish it was that interesting! ;)

 Report Review

Review #7, by toomanycurls This Means War...or Friendship

19th January 2014:
Review swap!!

Iiinteresting - I thought the next chapter would follow Pippa. I like that it's about the boys though!

You do a great job showing James and Mason's close friendship. Their banter is hilarious and quite natural.

James seems a bit air-headed to leave his broomstick somewhere. I mean, if I were a famous quidditch player my broom would always be in a safe place. I really like the chance to see James interact with his family though. :D Harry and Ginny seem like such nice parents. Pulling girls? that's a new phrase to me. haha, of course Ginny's head isn't the sand.

haha, of course they're mad at him for crashing a wedding. No one wants to hear that their kid crashed a wedding. Inform the bride more discretly *next time*? does he expect it to happen more than once. Podmore has to be a horrible guy for all the Potters to think he's such a longshot for marriage.

oh, a reporter! She sounds a bit like a young Rita Skeeter.

Well, I can't blame Pippa for unleashing her quill on them. Sure, long run they did her a favor but... well, yeah.

Their conversation was very interesting. James' anger is understandable as was Pippa's desire for revenge. I love that James turns the table on Pippa and gets her to admit that she's out to get some (famous) people and might exagerate elements of their personalities/misdeeds.

Hmm, I guess Pippa's reasons for staying with Podmore are okay. I mean, not the best but it gets me by. :P She does brush him off rather fast. It's nice that they left teh conversation friends though! ooh, I hate to see what Felicity comes up with to say about James. :)


Author's Response: Haha,I'm glad its unexpected! :D Thank u! I absolutely LOVE their relationship! Its so natural and easy for me to write!

Haha, yeah. I may or may not have needed an excuse to introduce family ;) But, he is meant to be kind of air-headed in the fic :) I know right, I didnt know the phrase either! I recently read it and liked it ;)

Haha, I never realised that! Thats actually hilarious! Love that you pointed that out! ;) Yeah, he's different with different people :)

She was meant to be a young Rita Skeeter. Only a bit nicer! :D

Finally! Someone who shares my opinion that Pippa wasn't all too horrible ;)

Don't worry Rose! There is another reason! So hopefully that will get you by better :D Haha, I guess you'll have to see!

Thank you for an awesome review! :D

-Curie :)

 Report Review

Review #8, by 800 words of heaven This Means War...or Friendship

19th January 2014:

Pippa's a reporter? That makes far more sense than vengeful assassin, but somehow, I still would have preferred vengeful assassin :P

Wow, everyone in this story is a little... wild with their emotions. James goes from hating Pippa to becoming friends with her incredibly quickly! Just a weird character trait? Let's hope his faith is not misplaced.

I did think it was a bit strange that Pippa was marrying Peter, whom she obviously didn't actually like in the first chapter, but then she turns around and writes that scathing article, and then I thought she did. But THEN it turns out that she in fact doesn't like him and was doing it for secret reasons that are secret! Mystery! Intrigue! In some ways, both James and Pippa are quite evenly matched in the way they view people and how quickly their opinions seem to change!

Hopefully Pippa's secret is revealed in the next chapter? The plot seems to be going in an interesting direction!

Author's Response: Haha, I agree with you on that one! Vengeful assassin is much cooler!! :D

I know right. I need to work on the transitions! :/ But, it is meant to be a character trait- easily trusting :)

Haha, she's half hearted :D She does sort of like Peter, and then doesn't. Haha, yeah, they are sort of like each other :D

Aw, I'm afraid not. Its a bit bigger secret, so there is a bit of a wait :)

Thank u for the amazing review swap! :D

-ReeBee :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by Rumpelstiltskin This Means War...or Friendship

18th January 2014:
Heheh, boys and their antics. What are you going to do with them? Burnt toast and baked beans (tasteless ones at that) don't sound very appealing. Somebody needs some cooking lessons, just saying.

While I originally agreed with Ginny in the beginning of the last chapter, I do believe that James had every good intention in crashing that wedding ;). After all, he stopped Pippa from marrying a cheating-jerk... so, everybody wins!

Ha! She's a reporter! Do I get some gold stars for that? I'm good, I tell you.

Whoa boy, I almost didn't expect her to try to ruin James' going-ons. Yeah, he crashed her wedding...but-but...-_-. I'll be on James' side of this one, if you don't mind. I can be like his personal cheerleader! (Rumpel's been hitting the caffeine again, don't mind me.)

Yeah, don't criticize the dude's mom! That's a low blow.

Oh good, they are on speaking terms. Very good.


Author's Response: Haha! I know right!! Not just with boys though, I've always wondered how someone would managed living alone and not knowing how to cook well! Not that mason cant cook well... But still!

Yeah! I'd hate to be in Ginnys position! I would have no idea what to do! ;)

Hehe, sure! 5 gold stars for Rumpel! Have some cookies too! :P

Hehe, of course not! If anything, you're meant to be on his side ;) Haha, yay! James officially has a personal cheerleader!! Haha, I love your caffeinated reviews ;)

Haha! Agreed. Very low blow. Haha, I guess so?

Glad u liked it! :D Thank u for the super awesome review!

-Curry! :D

 Report Review

Review #10, by Rumpelstiltskin I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

18th January 2014:
Whoa boy.

Talk about an interruption, I would be miffed if my wedding was interrupted it such a way. Actually, now that I know what's happening, I would most likely be grateful. Kick his butt, Pippa!

Hm, Pippa's job is kicking butt ;). Well, since she's level-headed in work situations, I would expect her to be doing something mildly stressful. It has a lot to do with the plot. Hm, she works for the daily prophet, where she can write articles and ideally muss up Peter's going-ons because he's a jerk and deserves it! Erm. Maybe. Defense attorney? -_- I'll just go to the next chapter and find out ;p.


Author's Response: Haha, I know right!

yay! Rumpel got it right! Haha, hope you liked it!

And I love you for reading and reviewing!!! :D :D

-Curry! :D

 Report Review

Review #11, by Unwritten Curse Unexpected

18th January 2014:
Hello again, love! I'm so glad you've updated!

Oh my goodness, poor Pippa. How does she get herself into these situations? She's surrounded by the most loathsome people possible. Poor thing. No wonder she writes such scathing articles--she has to get her frustration out somewhere.

I really liked the beginning, by the way. Clearly James is softening to her, which was adorable. Unfortunately it looks like there's trouble on the horizon. I don't think he's going to like her too much after that article--whatever it is--hits the presses.

I'm a bit confused about something, though. If Montgomery isn't publishing the first article because it's not true, why is he publishing the second article that Pippa wrote that is admittedly full of lies? Is it just because he doesn't want one of his reporters to have a bad name?

Also, Peter cursed Finnegan's fiance? What?! Why? Why on earth was Pippa with such a disgusting man? He infuriates me! And what was Peter using against her? He got cut off before he could finish his sentence. Is he blackmailing her? I have so many questions!

Let me just repeat: Poor Pippa. I really feel for her. It's amazing that you have created this character that I should hate (due to her life-ruining articles) but that I actually feel sorry for. She's multi-dimensional. Great work.

xx Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina!

Haha, yeah! Poor Pippa, but I do love writing those situations! ;)

Thank u! Hehe, yeah, there is! Yeah, there definitely isn't a smooth track :)

Yes, that's exactly it :) I'll change that to make it more clear :D And, also the fact that he has a major soft spot towards Pippa. But, mostly the first reason :)

Haha, you'll have to see ;) He wasn't blackmailing, more like guilt tripping :D

Thank u! I'm glad those emotions are there! Thanks again for the fabulous review, Gina! :D

-Curie :)

 Report Review

Review #12, by Wildmoon This Means War...or Friendship

17th January 2014:
I like this! It's a good story. You're clearly setting up James and Pippa for an adventure that will change both of them.

If I had to make one constructive criticism, it's that it's a bit too fast paced. The dialogue just moves, moves, moves. It could use a bit more setting. What does an office at the Daily Prophet look like? Big? Small? Old and smelly from being in business too long? Does Pippa keep a picture Rita Skeeter on her desk as her hero, or on the wall to throw darts at?

Love the ending with the threat of Felicity hanging over her! That's a great little add to keep us hooked!

Keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Thank u! Yeah, a definite life changing thing!

Yeah, I thought it might :/ Hm, great idea! I will definitely add more in! LOL! Rita Skeeter! That is hilarious! :D :D

Thank u! I'm glad u liked it! :) Thank you for the sweet review!

-ReeBee :)

 Report Review

Review #13, by GingeredTea I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

17th January 2014:
Hmm, this was a really interesting beginning but I am so not sure where it is going - at all. I guess I wish I knew just a little bit more to tease me into the story.
Your flow was pretty good, I wish I had more time to understand Pippa in this chapter, James and Finnegan just seemed like..too boyish? I mean, why do they care? Did they have a grudge on her husband?

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. There is a reason for them crashing Pippa's wedding. I just couldn't explain it all in the first chapter. I hope you understand :) Thanks again for your review!

-ReeBee :)

 Report Review

Review #14, by LightLeviosa5443 I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

17th January 2014:
Hey! Here for the BvB review battle!

This story was so interesting! I really like what you did here, with the wedding and the boys crashing it. I won't lie, for a second I thought that it was Peter and James from the marauders before you clarified that it wasn't. Which kind of made it a little more awesome when I realized it wasn't. Because I could see James crashing a wedding.

I really like how you had Pippa get all mad, I can't wait to find out what her career is, though I'm a little scared. I really liked the flow of the story, and your characterizations! Keep it up love!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank u! :D Hehe, yeah! In my mind, James II is a lot like his namesake :)

Thank u! I hope you're not disappointed, it really isn't that exciting :) Thank u! I was so scared about the flow!

Thanks for the awesome review, Sarah!

-Curie :)

 Report Review

Review #15, by toomanycurls I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

17th January 2014:
Review swap!

I'm so proud of you for doing a story with heartache and angst!!

I'm a bit surprised that James and Mason would crash their friend's wedding to tell his future wife about his cheating. I mean, esepcially if they don't know Pippa. It makes me think they really didn't like Peter. Where did Pippa go to school? If she didn't know Peter, James, and Mason at Hogwarts.

I love that Pippa had the strength to leave Peter at the alter. I am curious about her profession. Is Pippa a PI? A marriage counselor? She can't be an auror or she'd know Mason. She does seem to have a mean streak. You have such an interesting start to the story! I'm excited to learn more about Pippa.


Author's Response: HI ROSE!

Aw, thank u! I must say, I have gotten much more comfortable with writing angst! :D

Haha, you'll have to see ;) Yeah, they didn't I can tell you that that's no secret :)

Haha, yeah, Pippa's meant to be a super strong character. Hehe, she does have a mean streak!

Thank u for the compliments! :D Thanks for the review too! It was a fun review swap!

-Curie :D

 Report Review

Review #16, by Lululuna Unexpected

17th January 2014:
Hello! :D

Aw, I got a shout out! ♥ Yay! I'm glad you liked the review- hopefully this one doesn't disappoint. :)

I liked this a lot! It was great to learn more about Amy and Peter and Pippa's work life. Amy and Felicity seem like the terrible twosome! I don't blame Pippa for being annoyed with both of them and their meddling personalities: Pippa is definitely a force to be reckoned with, but she is a little ganged up on here.

The conversation with that scum Peter was so intriguing! I'm really excited to find out what happened and why they need to stay together- what happened in the past?! Has he told Amy about it? I really hope not, because I feel like that would be prime material to use in another slanderous piece.

Mr. Montgomery seems like an awesome boss! I really liked the descriptions of how large he was in the leather chair, and how he was like a big teddy bear to Pippa. She's lucky to be in his good graces and have him protect her from Amy's literary wrath! It was really a slow blow and rather creepy to take that picture of her and James and make the assumptions.

Hmm, I'm going to guess that Pippa may have written about James again?! It was sweet at the beginning how he was sort of defending her to Mason, I was definitely cheering for the two of them in my head! This is such an original approach to the romance, what with the way they met and how their relationship is being played out. It's just great! :)

Wonderful chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hehe, it definitely didn't! Your reviews are the sweetest!

Haha, yeah, I'm happy that Amy didn't disappoint! Yeah, terrible twosome! Awesome words! :D

Haha, you'll have to see ;) I'm glad it was intriguing enough! I'm not too good at writing mystery-ish stuff... :/

Hehe, yeah, I felt I needed to add a bit more description and slow down the plot after a couple of reviews I got :) Hehe, I know right ;) He's so awesome!

Haha, yes :) Thank u! Im glad it was original, my stories usually end up being pretty cliche :)

Thank u for the super amazing review! And sorry for the late reply!

-Curie :)

 Report Review

Review #17, by LilyLou I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

17th January 2014:

Wow. This is fascinating and interesting! The suspense is wonderful. ALL THE QUESTIONS GAH. I can't even begin to guess what her job is! Oh my goodness! This is so weird! In a good way, of course! Oh my gosh. I can't even find any more words! James and Mason. GAH I LOVE THEM. OH MY MERLIN.


I honestly can't think of anything to say. I'll be reading on! *clicks favorites button*


Author's Response: Thank u Janelle! Wow! Such a surprise review! THANK U SO MUCH! Hehe, I love Mason! Eugh lack of emoticons is killing me! But anyway...

Thank u so much! That means SO MUCH! Thank u again for reading and reviewing! I hope u like the rest story!


 Report Review

Review #18, by Lululuna This Means War...or Friendship

13th January 2014:
Hello! Here for review swap- I read and reviewed the first chapter a little while ago so it was about time to check out the second! :)

James and Mason are so funny, I love the bromance they have going and how James lost his broom (haha!) Mason is a good cook, that was a really great detail. It made me laugh how the toast was burnt too- I mean, who burns toast?!!

I liked the scene with the Potters as well, especially Albus. He just seems like James walks all over him and it was quite funny, especially the bit where James stole his orange juice and then spat it on him. It really made me laugh. :) I quite liked Ginny as well, she seemed quite in canon and very motherly but also a little sassy and stubborn, which is just how I picture her being as a mum to a wild child like James here.

Pippa intrigues me. She seems like she has a very tough and strong exterior, but possibly secrets and things she doesn't want other people to know. I'm curious about why she felt she had to marry Peter even if he was cheating on her and she knew it - perhaps she's pregnant, or he had some secret that he was holding over her head, or they were engaged by their parents or something? Okay, that last one is a little too over the top. :P This is twenty-first century Britain after all. But it seems like there's something she doesn't want Felicity to find out, hmm. You've definitely piqued my curiosity!

I was a little confused about her name- why does she introduce herself as Bea being her nickname when she goes by Pippa, so that would be her nickname? I know some people who go by their middle names, but they would never use their first names except on official documents, and they usually use the middle name primarily because that's what their parents called them as children. One explanation might be if she goes by Beatrix for professional reasons to keep her identity cloaked, but I think Pippa was in her byline so perhaps not. :P Anyway, just a thought, but maybe you're way ahead of me and have some ninja reason for her name, so feel free to ignore this if so! :)

Something I was thinking about while reading the story was that there was a lot of dialogue and not a great deal of description. I'm a little description-obsessed, but I would have loved to see a little more setting of the scene, descriptions of the characters' thoughts and histories, a little longer paragraphs to frame the dialogue and balance it out a little. But that's just a personal preference really, and maybe something to keep in mind for the next chapter. If you were worried about the writing feeling stilted then that might help (though I thought the writing mostly flowed very nicely!) :)

I enjoyed this a lot, it's a really original storyline and you write very compelling characters. Well done! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thank u! I'm glad u liked it enough to come back!

Thank u! I'm glad u got that! I had a lot of comments saying that they didn't understand that part :/

Thank u! I loved writing Albus! And Ginny! I honestly love her! Writing that scene came so naturally and it's one of my favourite scenes so far :) I'm glad u did like it! :D

Thank u! She's really fun to write :D and for all those guesses, they are very very good and you'll have to see ;) that's great! The number one point of these two chapters is to get the readers curious!

That point may not be expressed well. The thing is she does go by her middle name :) the 'Bea' thing is only for family (so by making her introduce herself as Bea to James, it was meant to be a sign that she feels relatively comfortable). There is a reason no one else is allowed to call her Bea, and that will be revealed later :)

Thank u! That's great CC! I definitely will add some more in! :D Only when I look back does it stick out to me! Thank u so muh! :D

Thank u! I'm glad u liked it! :D thanks for an awesome review swap! :D


 Report Review

Review #19, by UnluckyStar57 This Means War...or Friendship

12th January 2014:
Hi! I reviewed chapter one some time ago; now I'm back for chapter two for the BvB Review Battle!

Wow, I really, really love this story so far. James and Mason, wedding crashing extraordinaires, burning toast in their flat, bahaha. It's cute that Mason's good at cooking--rather different, I think!

I'm glad that James has a good relationship with his family, rather than being moody!James who feels like he's in his father's shadow. From what Ginny says about Pippa, she seems REALLY snarky and mean for no reason except that she wants to ruin people. I can't wait to find out why she's like this, because right now, I love AND hate her at the same time!

Getting some of Pippa's background was nice. She and James are being friends now?! Uh oh, that could lead to trouble, especially since she's still making evil plans to write articles about people. :)

Great second chapter! Update soon!


Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad it wS interesting enough to come back :D

Thank u! That actually sounds awesome! The easy u described them! Way cooler than the story!

Thank u! Unwanted that to be different! To me, James never seemed like the bratty boy of the house, just cheeky, yet still sweet :) She sort of is :) But, to her, she's just doing her job. If u get what I mean... ;) thank u! That is completely the point! Pippa's meant to be hate-able and lovable :)

Haha, it does lead to trouble :) let's just say that their relationship isn't reallybsmooth... ;)

Thank u! I will try my best!


 Report Review

Review #20, by 800 words of heaven I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

10th January 2014:

Oh, this sounds like it could be a super fun revenge-filled story where Pippa just goes completely crazy and annihilates Peter for being such a soggy noodle (the words that I wanted to use to describe him were a little more vulgar, to be honest, but rules are rules).

Right now, Pippa's job sounds like she could be an assassin or something. Either that, or a spy! I'm really intrigued to find out what it is, even if she isn't an assassin or spy - it's still probably going to be something cool.

I totally understand what you mean about a plot evolving in your head too fast. Usually, I wait for sometimes a year before writing down my plots, and even then I don't know what's happening, but sometimes, stories just sneak up on you and demand to be written! Good luck with this one - as well as school and life. I always complain that I have no life, but whenever I try and make time for writing - POOF! All the life! This was a solid introduction. I think I'm looking forward to getting to know Mason the most right now! :)

Author's Response: Thank u! But I'm afraid it isn't revenge on Peter ;) definitely is revenge though! Haha, I totally understand what u mean by vulgar ;)

Haha, I wish it was that cool! It isn't though :( but I like writing it!

Thank u! I know right! I do nothing but I have no time! :/ I love Mason too! :D

 Report Review

Review #21, by Unwritten Curse This Means War...or Friendship

10th January 2014:
Wow, you're really good with dialogue. I should take a few pointers from you because dialogue is probably the aspect of writing that I struggle the most with. For you, it seems natural!

Anyway, I was just about to question why Bea was telling James such personal things about her life when she said that line about it not being personal, that she'd tell everyone the same thing. And that totally makes sense, especially because she's a reporter. I'm guessing she's very used to being in the spotlight and everyone knowing things about her, so she wouldn't be afraid to share those details with James.

I think they have a really interesting dynamic--Bea and James. One minute they're fighting and the next they're being "civil," as James put it. But you can tell they're actually quite similar, though they fight it. You are right that things are moving a bit quickly, though. Keep an eye on that--it's a lot like the Dramione ship in that it'll take time for them to overcome the animosity before anything genuine happens.

Another random comment: you handle a lot of characters in one scene really well. The Potter family scene was nicely done. I wasn't confused at all, I knew who was talking, their personalities were distinct. Great job!

Let me know when you update. I'd love to read more. :)

Author's Response: WOW! Why are u so sweet! That's so so nice!!! I'm at a lack of adjectives, so excuse my terrible vocabulary!

I have no idea what you're talking about! Your dialogue was so good! And definitely well written! But, it's an amazing compliment! Especially from such an amazing writer! Your chapters, really left me speechless!

I'm glad it made sense! I'd hate for it to not and just seem like something I randomly put out to fill plot holes! That is actually a key personality trait of Be a. She's very open!

Thank u! Yeah, I'm planning to slow the pace back down in the next chapter :) The plot will still be moving quite quickly, but hopefully a bit more smoothly :)

Thank u! That is one thing I'm terrified of! Having too many characters in a scene and not managing them well! Thank u! I'm trying to control a squeal threatening to escape!

Eep! Those two lines made my day! Ah! Like seriously! Amazing! I will! Eep! And hopefully the update will be quick :)

-Curie :D

 Report Review

Review #22, by Unwritten Curse I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

10th January 2014:
Hi! So I picked this story because I felt like diving into a WIP and I couldn't resist the cast of characters. ;)

This is a random detail, but I like that Pippa goes by her middle name. I think it's an interesting quirk to throw in and it seems to fit well with her characterization, which is spunky and offbeat. I'm really enjoying her so far!

I'm wondering why James Potter felt the need to crash a wedding to inform a woman he barely knows that her fiance is cheating on her. I'm sure you'll explain this in later chapters--I'm very curious to find out. You have quite the interesting set up here!

One thing I'm confused about is what the audience was thinking/doing while all of this was happening. You don't mention the guests until the end, when Pippa's family is trying to calm them down. I would've liked to see them throughout this chapter, reacting to the events as they unfold. It would've helped me visualize the scene a bit better. Just a thought!

I'm venturing on to the second chapter now. Look out for another review from me!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad! I'm a huge sucker for a James II/OC!

I love that name, 'Pippa'. It was the first time I've thought so much about a name! I quite like Pippa! She so fun to write! :D

Well, it is because of his animosity towards the groom :) The exact reason will be mentioned in the 3rd chapter :D Thank u! I thought of it in a dream ;) Really, I did.

Hm, that's really good CC! I'll go edit it after I post the next chapter! :D It was an awesome thought!

Ooh! Really?!?! *squee!* Its the first time anyone has gone into the next chapter in a review swap! Thank u!

-Curie :D

 Report Review

Review #23, by kenpo This Means War...or Friendship

8th January 2014:
Hey! Here for review number two!

This beginning is well-written. I like the flow between the two guys. Can't help but love a good bromance! James losing his broom is great for characterization! The notes about Mason's cooking were a little confusing, but I still liked them.

The interaction between James and Albus was childish in a good way. Older brother can't help but picking on his younger brother.

Hmm, I like Ginny and Harry. They embarrass their son because what else would they do?

Whhhatattt? She's a reporter. Oo, is she gonna get James in trouble? Was the entire thing orchestrated by her? Whaats going on?

Oo. That's harsh. James is gonna have some words with her, isn't he?!

I don't think I like Pippa very much...

You asked if I think this will draw the reader in. I can't speak for everyone, but it drew me in! I think this is a really cool start and I'm curious to see where things are headed. I really really enjoyed this. The characters seem like they're headed in some cool directions and you've got some fun relationships established (such as between James and Mason). This was really really fun to read.

You said I can nitpick... here goes.

"Come on, Mason. Its not like I lost it... Its probably here somewhere..."
It's is "it is". Its is possessive. Also, if you use an ellipsis you need four dots. Three for the ellipsis and one to end the sentence.

There are a few times that you use a comma where a period is needed or visa versa, such as here:
when I went to visit Al." James said thoughtfully.
crashed that wedding." James replied
youre kidding." Harry said,

Those should be commas. If you have trouble with dialogue, I recommend reading through the Grammar Guidelines on the forums. (Oh man. The chapter I asked you to beta for me is probably covered in awful dialogue.)

Yeah, the accent you develop when your young,

Other than that, I didn't really see anything to nitpick... really cool idea for a story, I'm interested to see where it goes!!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank u so much! I'll go edit that later! :D I love James and Al's interaction!

Aw, dont hate too much :) Pippa's a very multisided character!

Eep ! Thats good! :D I'm glad it drew u in! Yayayayayayay!I love Mason! *love stricken sigh*

Gah! Thank u thank u thank u! Makes my editing way easier! And my grammar is terrible!! So, it helps A LOT!

Haha, thank u! I got the idea in a dream! :D Yes, as cliche as it is, yes, I got it in a dream! :D

Thanks for another amazingly lovely review! :D

 Report Review

Review #24, by kenpo I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

8th January 2014:
Okay. Whoops. I was planning on doing another rolling review, but I forgot because I just kept reading. I didn't want to pause at all!

I was confused at the beginning but I am both easily confused and fine with being confused (a handy combination, I think), so not much I can say there. My confusion was quickly resolved though, and onto the story!

Potter and Finnegan, yes! I like that you made an OC for James' friend rather than just saying "well... Fred is available..."

I want to know what kind of history Peter has with them. And why Beatrix doesn't know about the traits a Hufflepuff would have. And why she'd agree to marry someone who has apparently cheated in the past.

There were a few little things that I noticed...

"Pips, sweetie-" Peter was scared,

Your closing quotation is backwards:)

You used some commas in places that I'm not sure they were entirely appropriate. One thing I noticed was that the commas before the word "before" usually made the sentence's flow a little rough. I don't think that you need a comma there, so I'd go through it and see if you can spot any little things like that.

This was a short chapter, but really nice! It grabbed my attention and made me curious for more. Personally, I prefer shorter first chapters because if I'm thinking about starting to read something... sometimes a long first chapter can be daunting. I'm not sure if I want to commit the time to reading a 5k chapter 1.

Sorry that this review took so long! I'll get to your second one later tonight. :)

Awesome opening!

Author's Response: No! It's alright! I quite liked this too! Anyway, the fact that u didn't want to stop is a compliment! :D

I'm honestly glad u were confused, that was the definitely the point! :)

Haha, I thought I'd used Fred too many times! :)

Yeah, that's going to be uncovered sometime soon! :) Yeah, Pippa is different! And definitely my favourite character! :D

Yeah, my laptop is weird with stuff like that! Ah, commas! You have no idea how much I use them! I'm crazy! I'll definitely go back and edit that!

Thank u so so much! I couldn't write more in the prologue. I just wanted it to be quick and interesting :)

No! It's no problem I love receiving reviews! Yours are extra awesome! :D


 Report Review

Review #25, by UnluckyStar57 I Don't and Other Wedding Nightmares

7th January 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Twelfth Day of the Twelve Days of Reviewing.

Wow, this was a very intense prologue-of-sorts! It's a good thing that Pippa found out about Peter's woman on the side, but it's probably NOT a good thing that she had to find out from the silly wedding crashers. What's going to happen now? Will she exact revenge upon James and Mason in addition to Peter? Her job certainly sounds important! I feel like it's going to be a medium of getting revenge--perhaps she's a reporter for the Daily Prophet or a comlumnist for Witch Weekly? That would be a good way to get revenge--make up some nasty lies and see what happens to their public images. :)

I can't wait to find out more about Pippa and the rest of the characters!


Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank u so much! It's the fastest plot flow I've written! Hm, yeah, I'm glad u saw that side! No one's commented on the fact that they were wedding crashers! Even if they did do her good, they still were wedding crashers!Yay! You guessed right! She is a reporter! XD That's exactly what she does!

Thank u so much for the lovely review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>