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Dear Maia,

I have here enclosed a review from your Secret Santa that they requested I pass on. My boss - while nicely recovered from the rigors of handing out presents to little boys and girls all around the world at Christmas - recently remembered that her English project is due in less than a week and she is currently hiding away to try and finish it in time.

The review says:

"Hi Maia!

I'm only a paragraph in and I love Mary already. And Regulus. Mary is so refreshing, seeming so full of spunk just from the little bit Regulus gives us. I like Regulus as well - I can see Sirius-like qualities in him, reminding me that while they may have fought on opposite sides of the war (until Regulus realized his error in choosing and corrected it) they were brothers, and were alike. 

Regulus's grief is amazing here. I can feel his sorrow, and sympathize with him. Members of my family have died and I've wanted to say something to them before they passed (but, unfortunately, I did not get the chance) so I know what Regulus is feeling here. And that last bit of the second paragraph! I never really thought about what made Regulus reject the Death Eaters. When I read the books, I simply assumed that he realized that the lifestyle wasn't as perfect as he had been raised to think, and backed out. Of course, that would've had to be a dramatic change, and love is the more realistic answer - especially since all the other DE defectors (Snape, Narcissa Malfoy - well technically not a DE, but close enough) had a motive of protecting someone they loved.

He mentions the Room of Requirement! So he's still at school, because I somehow doubt that Dumbledore would let him teach at Hogwarts (and there's no record of him having done so). I think this is a sad detail - he's 18 at most, and he's already lost the love of his (short) life, presumably to his former comrades. Mary took her own life? Or at least went out on her own terms? With what we know from the first paragraph, I'd say she fought to the end, potentially against the Death Eaters (and her death was Regulus's impetus for change). 

Ooh a scandal? What happened? And I can emphathise with Regulus when he mentions how he didn't go to her funeral. If he's already grieving her loss, having to go be with other people who are also grieving her loss would've been unbearable, because tears are contagious. The fact that some of the Death Eaters went makes it a little bit different, in two ways. First, obviously they would be interested in why a respectable pure-blood was extremely upset about a muggle-born's death. Second, unless Mary was really well-known - and I mean really, not just in the Hogwarts community, why would the Death Eater's go? I can see the children of Death Eaters who were her classmates going, but not adults, already-in.

So Regulus joined after she died! I wonder if it was an attempt to get away from her memory by going the exact opposite way, or if it was a subtle attempt to get close enough to Voldemort to take him down. I'm favouring the second option, especially since he directly mentions thinking about doing it. 

I loved this story! I'm really happy that I got to be your Secret Santa, because it means that I get to read all your lovely stories that I hadn't had a chance to before! (Well, except for <i>bloom</i>. bloom I reviewed pre-SS)"

My boss would also like to add that she would have made you some graphics, but this mysterious program called Elements hates her. I don't understand that bit at all. 

Sincerely,
One of Santa's Employees who is listening to How to Save a Life by The Fray and finds it somewhat appropriate.

Author Response

why hello there, secret santa's messenger!  thank you so much for transporting this absolutely lovely review!  i love my santa very much but please tell them school work is more important than reviewing my silly stories ;) this made me smile so much to read, i would respond to all of it but i have to run out now, but santa, you are a darling, thank you so much!!! 

~Maia xx

Hi Maia!

I'm here for the BvB review battle.  I really did fall in love with these two.  But it was more than that - I felt love, frustration, grief and contentment - all within 3000 words.  

Telling the story through a letter is brilliant.  It completely let Regulus's emotions pour out all over the page.  The fact that he was in the Room of Requirement while writing, I think, made him a bit more open and free to express his raw feelings.  Being a Death Eater, and a Slytherin (and a Black!) requires him to have controlled, planned out actions for every part of his life.  Mary - and the RoR - allowed him to be free and full of life.  She seems to be his polar opposite.  Her personality was carefree and she craved the control.  

At the very beginning, I actually thought the letter was from Reg Cattermole to his wife, Mary until you mentioned the name Regulus - haha!  It left a bit of mystery to the story in the first few sentences.

I caught one typo here:

<i>It wouldn't have been suspicious if I had gone, in case you wondering, because most of the school turned up.</i>

I think you might mean "... in case you were wondering,..."

I really enjoy reading about Regulus and you've given a great back story here to explain his choice to join the Death Eaters but, at the same time, for us to see into his heart.  He is still a love-sick boy and this story explains how he eventually used his good heart to turn on the Dark Lord.

Beth

Author Response

Hiya! this story is so old by now, i feel like my writing has evolved a lot since i posted this, so it means a lot that you still think it's good! 

i really don't know why i chose to write this in letter form - i had never done it before and doubt i'll do it again, really! but it just seemed the perfect choice here, as it totally allowed me to explore Regulus' point of view, as biased and unreliable and emotional as possible.  

ahaha, i hadn't even thought about that Reg and Mary! yeah i guess that would be confusing, ahaha. I put the pairing in the summary because I didn't want people to be totally lost, since I don't exactly introduce the characters in a typical way XD

eek, thanks for the typo spot! honestly when i first posted this it was just riddled with typos... i think it's had about five edits since then, so i have no idea how i missed that one!

thanks so much for this lovely review x 

~Maia

It. was. PERFECT.

Absolutely perfect. I can't really use another word to describe it. Maybe heartbreaking? but that wouldn't define how excellent your writingskills are. It was seriously perfect.

You're extremely talented, no doubt about it. I'm loving how you made their relationship a secret and the letter really shows how much he cared for her, how much he loved her and it was really touching how he imagined her reactions would be to the different things he told her.

Now I'm kinda interested in Regulus, I've never really thought of him before reading this story...

I didn't cry, no, but I was close to.
The ending of the letter was, again, absolutely perfect. It was so beautiful and positive.

I'm so glad I checked your stories, this is definitely going in as one of my favorite stories.

Hugs
- Avi

Author Response

Ahhh oh my gosh you're sweet - I'm so glad you liked it!!

I never really thought about Regulus before writing this story either, haha. I got him in a challenge and I never figured I'd write something like this about him. But when I sat down to write, this just came out - I guess I'll never know why, but nonetheless, it means a lot that you like it and that it's made you think about Regulus!

I'm really glad you liked it, thank you so much for favouriting and reviewing! Reviews like this really just make my day.

~Maia xx

Hello!  For the Ninth Day of the Twelve Days of Reviewing, we had to review stories that have been podcasted.

I listened to the podcast of this story while I read along, and WOW, hearing the words makes a big difference!  I absolutely loved this--it was so sad, but so beautifully written.  Even though we were in Regulus' head the whole time, I still feel like I know him very well, just from the way he talked about Mary.

I never thought about Regulus dating at Hogwarts--or ever, really--but the Reg/Mary pairing that you've created in this story is positively beautiful.  It actually makes a little bit of sense, then, why he went after Voldemort--he was getting revenge for his dead Muggle-born girlfriend.  Can this be canon already?!?! :)

Really, I thought that everything about this story was perfect.  I loved the description and Reg's thoughts and memories of Mary, and Mary's little interjections within the letter.  It was a great thing to read, only made better by the fact that I got to hear it, too!

~UnluckyStar57

Author Response

Hiya! I'm so glad you liked the story, and the podcast :D

I love podcasts. I really think hearing the words at the same time as reading them makes it a really cool experience, so I'm glad you liked that! 

I'd never thought much about Regulus before writing this so I have no idea if romances about him are common, or if Regulus/Mary is a pairing anyone else has ever written at all? But I definitely fell in love with my characterisations of them so I'm really glad you liked them too!

Thanks so much for this lovely review, I'm so glad you liked the story!

~Maia

I love this fic/letter. Poor Regulus. I think he deserve more love in Harry Potter fanfiction land. In my head,I see Regulus is as complex as Sirius or Snape. And you beautifully brough out that depth in his letter. I can read his grieve, his desperation, his loss of direction. Its beautiful in very sad way. 
I admit that I actually more in Mary and Sirius camp but your fic make me wonder the possibility between these two. 
I hope you write more about this pairing, or any other pairing, your writing is exquisite :)

Author Response

Ahhh, I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you so much for this sweet review! I admit I'd never thought much about Regulus before writing this fic, but it really got me thinking about him and I totally agree, he's very complex and really does deserve more love.

I'm glad you liked the pairing! I've only actually come across Sirius/Mary before but since we don't know anything about Mary except that she was a Gryffindor, it seems silly to think that she couldn't be paired with anyone else. I think that at least in this incarnation of them, Regulus and Mary are perfect for each other :D

I do have the beginnings of a sequel to this in the works, so look out for that! I'm so glad you liked the story, and my writing, you're sweet :D

Thanks for reviewing!

~Maia

Hey Milominderbinder I'm here with my review for the challenge :D

Wow, this was a cool read! I think you have done a great job with the narration of it, you have portrayed Regulus in a way that reflects not just one side of him, but a rainbow of emotions. I think with such a character that we only know the small dark side we are introduced to through Sirius that this is a great reflection of how many sides a human has, even one that is twisted by a dark path. 

I also really like how you made the story a letter. Like he says, it is supposed to be a letter to Mary but of course she's deceased, so it's almost more of a letter to himself in a more detached way, like a recast back on his life. Not really something reviewy this bit, but it was really well set up and i had to comment on that.

You have used some really effective short sentences as well, which helps bring emotion to the story, I especially love "it's all like one of your move-eys.  With you the star.  Just like you always wanted." For some reason, that hit me hard, it was so bittersweet :D In such a story, these type of sentences were vital to keep the emotion flowing, and I think you have done really well in keeping the emotion flowing thoroughly.

The only CC I have is something that could be ignored completely, because it is great as is, just something that could give a bit more detail. That is perhaps having some talk focused more on what they did together. Like, when the were in the RoR, what did they get up to? Did that talk or play games etc? 
The second little suggestion would be divulging more into why Mary was so upset with life. What happened between her and Regulus, and what was Regulus' look on it? Maybe that's why he decided to become a Death Eater? Who knows, I'm not the author hehe :P

Overall though, I did thoroughly enjoy this! It was well written and engaging, and was great to see what you did with Regulus, I really think you made him an interesting character to read :D Thank you for entering my challenge and I wish you the best of luck for the results :D

Grace :D

Author Response

Hi Grace! I had so much fun writing for this challenge, so thanks so much for setting it!

I really wanted to try and show a different side of Regulus here. Everyone seems to forget that he was only around sixteen/seventeen when he joined the Death Eaters, which is really just so young, and I wanted to try and show his youth and emotional vulnerability here. I have a pretty strong headcanon about Regulus' character and it includes him actually being very sensitive - it was nice to finally get that down onto the page!

I don't really know where the inspiration to have it a letter came from, but I'm glad you liked it :) I felt like it was just a much more interesting medium to work with, especially since it gave such a direct link to Regulus' emotions.

I get what you mean about adding more detail to their lives together. I'm not really sure, but I think that for Regulus, at this stage, those memories might be a little too painful which is why he focuses a lot more on the version of Mary inside his head rather than his true memories of her.

I think part of why Regulus is so hurt is that he didn't KNOW why Mary was so depressed, or even that she was so depressed that she would go as far to kill herself. So he's just confused and doesn't know how to react, and there's nobody he can talk to because nobody knows they were together, which makes it all the harder.  I think it's definitely part of the reason he joined the Death Eaters - he was just looking for somewhere to belong, after Mary's death.

I'm so glad you liked it! Like I say, I had a lot of fun writing for this challenge :) I'll look out for the results!

~Maia

wow. just wow. you have broke my heart a little but i dont even mind because this was amazing! i am in love with Mary and Regulus too!

Author Response

Aww, I'm glad you liked it :)

~Maia

Hi Maia! :) I'm here for your second prize review! 

This was a great story and I think you write this style really well from what I've seen- I'm speaking of the "leaves a lump in the reader's throat and makes them dwell on the story for hours later," of course. I've never really thought about this pairing before but it was so real and vivid that I'm sure I'll be shipping them for a long time afterwards. 

Regulus was really interesting here, and I quite enjoyed his narration. He comes across as very playful and thoughtful, and with a great deal of perception and maturity what with how much he analyzed Mary's character and understood his own feelings of grief towards her, which I thought was really powerful. A part I particularly liked was when he was talking about how maybe he'd kill Voldemort as a present for Mary, which is sort of what he tries to do with the Horcruxes, and I thought that was a really amazing tie-in to canon. I love the idea of Regulus changing his mind and his family ties because of Mary. It kind of highlighted an interesting difference between him and Sirius too: while Sirius is very brazen and open about his beliefs, Regulus seems more Slytherin-esque in that he goes undercover and takes out his enemies by stealth and knows when to play it cool- sort of like Snape, in a way. 

As for Mary herself, I thought her character was so interesting even though she's already dead, and the complexities and flaws of her personality were really brought to life through Regulus. It was clear how well they knew each other. Something I thought interesting was how she seemed very insecure and self-centered about how others perceive her, what with wanting to seem mysterious and desirable. But then there's these hints that others teased her for this and that she wasn't necessarily popular, but that her death brought people together to mourn for her even if they didn't really like her. I guess that was just what she wanted, and I thought it was a sort of tragic thing that she killed herself in order to obtain the attention she craved. :( But then there are other hints that she might have had some depression issues, I thought, and her need to stay in control while always being unpredictable was an interesting dynamic as well. I thought it was a really poignant and tragic portrayal of suicide with how immature and insecure Mary clearly was. 

I also thought Mary seemed rather selfish, too, both when she was alive and dead. She clearly had a lot of the control in the relationship what with getting angry with Regulus for being late (loved the idea of playing house in the room of requirement, by the way!). And then leaving Regulus there when she probably knew how he was in danger of being recruited by the DEs seemed selfish as well, so it made me hate her a little bit through Regulus' anger. 

On that subject, I thought Reg's bitterness towards Mary and his competing adoration of her were great contrasts which I loved reading about. His admissions that they both had problems and that she wasn't perfect were really important in rounding out their characters, and I loved the part when he sort of snidely said that her note wasn't as scandalous as she would have hoped it would be, it really showed his anger well.

But then there were some really beautiful, poignant lines as well: I especially loved the ending with the image of her flying through the sky. It was really poetic and lovely, but with the added bit of character about how she hated broomsticks which showed Regulus' character really well but also how well he knew Mary. I think it was the perfect way to end the piece, and show how much he loves her despite everything. :) 

Amazing job, I'm so glad I read this! :D

Author Response

Hiya! Sorry it's taken me a trillion years to respond to this review!

The "leaves a lump in the reader's throat and makes them dwell on the story for hours later," style was exactly what I was going for, so I'm glad you liked it! Haha. I'd never really thought about this pairing either to be honest - I'm not even sure if they ARE a pairing outside this one weird little chunk of my brain - but I'm glad I could make you ship them!

Regulus is one of the few minor characters I have a very solid headcanon about, so I really just wrote his personality here the way I always imagine him - which is very mature, but also very emotional and vulnerable. I'm so glad you enjoyed his narration because I really grew to love this version of him quite strongly as I was writing this! I also wanted to tie it in to canon without putting a focus on that side of him, hence the nod to the Death Eaters - it's good to hear you think that worked.

Mary was definitely a complex and in ways fractured character. She was sometimes hugely confident and outgoing, putting off an arrogant vibe, but at the same time very insecure inside.  She definitely had hints of depression as well as strong insecurities that led to her suicide. I feel like she was, really, just an overly extreme person - she would swing to the one extreme of the most outgoing and self centered person in the room, then swing the other way and become tragically nervous of what everyone else was thinking of her.  I like how you put it - she was, basically, immature. She had a lot of flaws but she also had good points, and I think that's what Regulus is trying to find the balance of here.

This review is just lovely, thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed the story :D

~Maia

I absolutely loved this story. :) It's been amazing how you made me feel things that I don't like feeling 'cos it's poignant and painful at the same time.
I did fall in love with Regulus and Mary, they were written so beautifully and I felt sorry for Regulus and felt his pain.
Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this.:) Really wonderful job.

Author Response

Wow, I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so much - hope I didn't make you TOO sad! 

Thanks for reviewing :)

~Maia

Review tag! 

I have really been getting into Regulus as a character in HP fan fiction and I think you did a great job with him here. It was sad but poignant and I really liked how you set it up (through the letter). Nice job. :)

Author Response

Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it :)

~Maia

Oh, this is just so beautiful. I fell in love with the two of them as well. It's just such a painful, sad and yet completely beautiful story. The way you wrote them is amazing. I felt I could feel Regulus's pain, the way her death was slowly destroying him. I thought your portrayal of Mary was really nice as well. The bit where he goes on about watching his memories of her, you can see they are eating at him, making it worse but her can't stop. It's a really accurate portrayal of utter grief. This was such an amazing story. Well done.

Author Response

Aw, I'm glad you likes it! It's definitely a painful thing to write about but I tried to make it meaningful rather than just plain depressing, so I am really glad you thought it was beautiful.  Regulus' grief is definitely eating at him and changing him.

Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it :)

~Maia

Here from the Ravenclaw Review Battle! Wow. this is such an emotional story. It almost drove me to tears. Almost.

Regulus Black is one of the few Death Eaters that I actually pity, seeing that he died so young, but now that perhaps he had a friend up there (or wherever) it does not seem so bad.

Mary is a very interesting character. She comes across initially as a rebel, with her dyed hair and cigarettes. She seemed so strong. She loved to be the centre of attention, like you mentioned, and seemed to dream of a bright future. So why she would commit suicide initially puzzled me.

 However, after rereading the story, I found the chinks in her armor. She wanted a more exotic name, she wanted to be unique which meant that she was never comfortable with being herself. She wanted everyone to love her because she couldn't bring herself to do so. It's not wrong, it's just who she is. Now her suicide seems more plausible. She was a very unhappy person, she just didn't show it too often.

And poor Regulus, my heart just goes out to him. He doesn't know whether he should be in denial or try to move on. At least now we know his true reasons behind destroying the horcrux.

This was a wonderfully detailed piece of writing that I could not resist breaking down. The characters are so well developed. 

Amazing job :)

Author Response

Yay, I'm so glad you liked it! 

You really picked up on exactly how I was trying to portray Mary.  She was powerful and chaotic and vibrant, but she wasn't perfect, in any way, and she really struggled with that. She didn't really know how to be happy with herself without an audience, which is actually why her relationship with Reg was especially sacred, as it was the only thing she felt comfortable enough with to not need other people's attention on it.  The fact that she could keep it a secret really showed how much she loved him. However, unfortunately her love for him couldn't solve the issues she had with herself.

Regulus definitely has very complicated emotions about the whole thing, just as he's conflicted about the death eaters and what to do when he finds out about the horcruxes etc.

I'm so glad you liked it, and liked the characters! Thanks for the great review :)

~Maia

I also really like Regulus Black--along with some less heroic characters.

Author Response

Glad you liked it! I love Regulus after writing this story, haha :)

Thanks for reviewing!

~Maia

Wow... I mean... wow...

I am completely astonished at how - like you said - falling in love with these two like you did... I mean... I hit rock bottom with this. 


I have to say this is the BEST one-shot I have read... like... I read good one-shots... but yours really took the cake here. (I feel in shame with my works now. :P)

But anyways... honestly - this was very emotion-wielding and you did an absolutely great job with this small piece here.

I never cared for Regulus despite his story in the books. I know he was the one who really risked everything in order for Lord Voldemort to be defeated... but I don't know... 

So your Regulus really appealed to me. And the story behind the letter is so sad yet wonderfully written... and the romance in this was so... unique! 

Usually when I read a romance fic... let's just say - it doesn't turn out like how I want or the writer goes overboard with it... and it completely turns me off. And that's why I'm not into romance fics now.

I know I keep saying it, but great job on this. I can't wait to read whatever else you have in store for us. 10/10


From the review thread!

~ Asphodel

Author Response

Oh my god, I'm so glad you liked it! This is one of the sweetest reviews ever, thank you so much. I'm not a big romance writer at all and I pretty much hate all things sappy so I'm glad you thought this wasn't too over the top :)

I never thought much about Regulus either until I got him in this challenge, then I started thinking for what to write about him and somehow I just came up with this. I know it doesn't have much to do with his story in the books so I was worried people wouldn't really get it, but I'm really glad you liked it and that it made you see Regulus in a new light.

I am sure there are tons of oneshots better than this, but thank you so much for the compliment < 3

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the amazing review.

~Maia

Hi! Review Tag!

I really really like epistolary stories- they are so easy to read and have a set structure which works so wonderfully with character-based stories. That's why I'm very pleased you wrote this as a letter rather than just Regulus's internal monologue. He has a point to make, and he sifts through his feelings and grief rather than it spinning out of control which it probably would be if he were just talking to her in his head.

This is written very well. I like the picture of Mary that you painted, she comes across as very fiesty and a great match for your Regulus. He is very well written also; it makes sense that he would decide to join the Death Eaters out of his grief and rage; I also love that you mentioned trying to kill Voldemort for Mary, for that little tidbit of motive for Regulus that ties into canon. Love it.

I think if I were to suggest one little thing, it would be to linger on why Mary died a little more. I know you touch on it, and it might be your decision for it to be too painful for him to think about, but I think it makes a little more sense for him to question it slightly more. But that's just my opinion xD

All in all, wonderful job!

Author Response

I'm glad you liked it! I love playing around with unusual writing methods which is partly why I wrote this as a letter, so I'm glad you think it worked :)  I definitely think it would have had a very different tone if it was just him thinking about her in his internal monologue so this was a fun way to make the story more structured even though it only had one real character.

I'm glad you liked Mary, and thought she was a match for Reg! I get annoyed quite often reading about couples who are totally wrong for each other in fic, so I really tried to give these two complimentary traits and paint a picture of the tumultous relationship their respective personalities would have left them with.

I kind of tried to leave Mary's death very ambigious.  Not only is Regulus still in denial and doesn't want to think about it, but he still doesn't really know WHY Mary did what she did, doesn't know her motives or anything, and because their relationship was a secret he can't find out any details without seeming suspicious, so there's not much more he can say when it's only from his POV.  That said, I'll keep your feedback in mind next time I give this an edit! Maybe I could add a few lines that make it clearer while leaving that ambiguity :)

Thanks for the lovely review!

~Maia

Hi, review tag!


WOW!

After reading this I don't even want to post my attempt at the challenge! I will though because it's already written but it doesn't stand a chance.

I can't review this properly so I apologise, but it was beautiful!

Cannons.

Author Response

Awww, thank you so much! Don't worry about the short review, it was really sweet :) And I'm sure your entry is amazing! I will definitely read it when you post it! 

Thanks hon,

~Maia

Hi, here for the review battle :)

I was intrigued to read this as just lately I have developed an affinity to Regulus stories, I'm not sure why but I have. This was quite different to the other stories I have read about him recently; i've never read about him with a love interest. I liked how you showed a different side to him, a softer side.

I also loved your different take on Mary MacDonald. She is usually portrayed as a quiet, timid person (in the fics I've read anyway) so it was nice to see her being the complete opposite.

This was a great portrayal of someone mourning the loss of someone they loved and I really liked the idea that he is narrating this through a letter. This was a touching piece and there were a few lines that really stuck out to me. This one <i>'...how much it goddamn hurts, not just that you're gone, but that I wasn’t enough for you to stay for.' </i>How sad for Regulus to feel like that, but of course one would feel like this if a loved one has taken their own life. And this one '<i>They say eventually you reach acceptance, but it seems unlikely to me.'</i> how true that someone in the grieving stage would think like this, how could they see an end to their grief when they are hurting so much?! And then the last two lines - I think they were the perfect end to this fic :)

I felt you explored the motions of grief very well here. I really felt for Regulus in this as he had no-one to help him through his grief as he would have had to hide it from others due to the secretive nature of his and Mary's relationship. Poor Regulus! I really liked how you included his becoming a death eater in this. It gives a good explanation of why he joined them and a possible reason for why he turned against Voldemort too - I see it that (from your story of him) Regulus joined the Death Eaters in the anger stage of his grief, to get back at Mary for leaving him. Then, when he had reached the acceptance stage he could see that he was wrong and wanted to avenge Mary's death, in his own way. What I'm trying to say is that this is a great portrayal of Regulus's motivations - and a very unique portrayal too!

On the whole this was very well written but I did notice a few rather long, run on sentences. Maybe just revise these and break the sentences down a bit. 

This was a lovely little one-shot and I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more from you :)

Haronione &hearts;

Author Response

Ahh, thank you so much for this lovely review! I'd actually never really read anything about Regulus before starting this fic but now, like you, I've started to really like stories about him.  I'm glad you think my portrayal of him was unique!  I did really try to show his softer side here even though he is a death eater :)

I love when people quote favourite parts of the fic omg. Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it.  I was trying a pretty different style to what I usually write here, which was writing about a serious topic in a 'teenage' kind of way, so I'm glad you think it worked in those parts.

When I was writing this I was trying to think of a way to link it to canon more, because it seemed like it had just kind of come out of nowhere, so I started thinking about what we know about Regulus in canon, and all we really know about is his involvement with the death eaters, so that's why I decided to put that part in.  I thought it would be interesting to find another motivation for Reg joining them other than 'hes evil' or 'hes a slytherin' like a lot of fics seem to do, so I'm really glad you thought my explanation was good, and unique!

Oh my god, I'm ridiculous with run on sentences, it's awful.  I went through this several times trying to break them down but clearly I wasn't too successful, haha.  I'm like that in all my writing - it's a regular occurrence that a whole paragraph will be one sentence.  My beta hates me.  Next time I get the motivation for editing I will definitely keep that in mind, thanks!

I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the lovely review < 3

~Maia

REVIEW TAG!

Ooh! I've seen a lot of Sirius/Mary stories around, but I've never seen a Regulus/Mary before - I'm excited! Regulus is pretty scarce in fanfics, so I'm looking forward to seeing where you take him.

From the first paragraph, I love how we are getting to know Mary through the eyes of Regulus. There is always something interesting about learning about another person from someone else's perspective. I like how you've also shown us what Regulus is like this way as well, and how he sees the world.

I also like the parallel you've drawn between Regulus and Draco, by having Regulus' sanctuary as the Room of Requirement. They were both two boys who got in too deep, and I'm enjoying this reminder of their connection.

Oh, my goodness! What on earth happened to Mary? I have an inkling, and I am feeling very sad because of it. Oh, how Regulus' pain hurts. You've shown him as quite mature, understanding Mary's motivations, or perhaps he just know her very, very well. I do like how he still feels the pain, and he acknowledges that pain, and is trying to come to terms with his grief, which is the most mature decision of all.

Oh, my prediction was true! How very sad! But you've written this so brilliantly, it's making the sadness feel like such a pleasure! You know you've done a good job as a writer when your readers feel the emotions you want them to feel.

Is this part of the reason why Regulus chose to join the Death Eaters? The way you've written this, it sounds as if he's decided to make his own decisions, just because Mary did. I can understand where he's coming from, and I think it adds another layer of complexity to his character.

This was just such a sweet, painfully sad love letter! I adored it! It really hit home the fact that Regulus was just a teenager, feeling all the teenage things, and he probably had a really tough time of it, too. You've shown him as very human here, and I like how you've talked about him becoming a Death Eater, but that's not what this is about, which is really nice, because most Regulus fics focus on that aspect of him. I really enjoyed this! 

PS: Totally in love with Mary and Regulus!

Author Response

This is the nicest review! It's really cool to see your reading of the fic kinda liveblogged, haha :)

You know, I didn't even really think about the parallel between Reg and Draco until I'd finished the fic, but I'm glad you noticed it - I think you're the first person to mention it! I think there's a definite parallel between the ways they get over their heads in the Death Eaters, and that's represented well by their uses of the room of requirement, so I'm glad that stood out for you.

Eek, thank you so much for thinking I'm a good enough writer to portray Regulus' emotions! It's a lovely compliment that I was able to make the 'sadness feel like such a pleasure', you're the sweetest, I'm so glad you liked that < 3

I definitely think Regulus would have been influenced towards the Death Eaters if Mary was still alive, but she might have just talked him out of it or something, so yeah, when she's dead it's kind of a case of him deciding to just do whatever he wants to, almost to spite her in a way, but also because he really just needs something to add purpose to his life again.  I really upset myself writing that part!  It definitely makes him more complex.

I'm glad you thought Regulus' humanity and teenage-ness showed through, that really was one of the main things I was hoping would come across well in this fic, so I'm glad you thought it worked.  And I'm glad you love Mary and Regulus! I'm totally in love with them too, I don't know how they've managed to stick with me so much after such a relatively short fic!

Thanks for the review :)

~Maia

Hello! Review tag!

Oh wow. This was really beautiful, so raw, and really tugged at my heartstrings. I love the way you portrayed Mary and Regulus, and how they had the Room of Requirement as "their" place. Your characterisation of Mary was wonderful, considering she doesn't appear in the story at all.

I think the saddest part was how, at least the way I read it, Regulus joined the Death Eaters in the midst of grief at Mary's death, acting on a whim (much like his brother in that respect) - even though they were the very people Mary hated. But it shows another side to Regulus' betrayal of Voldemort later. And I love that. It's like you've added another layer to canon. But ahhh so sad! I can tell in this that he's already starting to regret his decision, like the more he accepts Mary's death, the more he regrets joining the DE's.

Really well done on this. I'm so glad I read it. You're a great writer!

Author Response

Aww, thank you so much for enjoying the fic :) I was really trying to write something that wasn't perfectly polished but was more raw and emotional, so I'm glad that came through for you.  I'm glad you liked Mary, too, and that you thought her characterisation came through even though it was only Reg's opinions and memories of her.  It's definitely sad to think if Regulus would have still joined the Death Eaters if Mary was alive, and I think he probably wouldn't have, either because she would have talked him out of it, or because when she's gone, he's really looking for something to hold onto because he feels so lost, and if Mary was still alive he might not have needed that comfort.

Thanks for the lovely review hon.

~Maia

Thanks for making me cry at work. (Well, maybe I shouldn't be on HPFF while I'm trying to work but I'm a multitasker.) Seriously though, this is emotionally charged and very well done. It really poked at parts of me that are still grieving over loved ones (I've considered doing the same before). 

The dialogue he's imagine back from Mary was wonderfully done. It showed the depth of their relationship and a bit on how they were together. I really felt Regulus' pain at not being enough for Mary though he seems to get why she killed herself.   

I really liked the theme of them having a room that was tied to their identity as a couple/non-couple. For some reason it really reminded me of a book called Wisdom Sits in Places by Keith Basso that looks at ethnolinguistics of the Navajo tribe.  


His ending with wanting to imagine Mary soaring among the stars in the sky was really beautiful (and I'm tearing up again just re-reading it). I haven't read many stories on here that leverage such raw emotion in this powerful a way. I felt like I got to know Regulus (and he's a bit of a mystery to me) and I got to know Mary (who had just been a footnote to me before).

Author Response

Ahaha, sorry for making you cry! But I'm glad you liked my story! I'm lucky enough to have never lost anyone close to me so I was really uncertain when posting this that the emotions in it would be realistic or fall a bit flat, and it really means a lot that you think it's an accurate description of that.

I don't quite know where the inspiration for the room came from, to be honest, I just wanted them to have something that was THEIRS, and the room of requirement was the only place that seemed to fit? I've never read that book but I'll look out for it, it sounds really interesting!

Thanks for the wonderful review, I'm glad Reg and Mary could touch you with their raw emotion, and that you thought my words were powerful < 3

~Maia

sweet mary jesus. okay ive read a lot of stories A LOT, soem had 100s, 200s, 300s of reviews, but this THIS is by FAR the BEST first chapter i have EVER read, and if the rest of the story comes out anything like this is will be hands down the best story i have read on hpff. Seriously i mean in all of my favorite stories i can pick a sticky place or odd sentence that id like to change but in yours theres NOTHING its so beautiful i was close to tears. seriously forget hpff youre an amazing author in youre own right, you could be a very successful writer, if you ever publish a book please let me know because i would definitely love to read. I mean review tag bought me here but boy am i glad, i love this, i love regulus, i love Mary and i love YOU, i cant wait to see how this plays out, pleaseee keep writing, much love x

Author Response

EEK OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE BEST REVIEW! I am SO glad you liked it! I don't even know how to respond to this because there are so many amazing compliments, seriously, you're the sweetest omg.  This means a lot especially because I am aiming to be a novelist one day and I study English/Creative Writing so this is seriously so, so incredible to hear such good feedback.  This story is actually just gonna be a oneshot but I have a couple of sequels to it in the works, and I hope they are as well received as this is! Thank you so so much for the lovely review, this really means a lot, I am going to save it just so I can look at it all the time!

~Maia < 3

Hey! Here for review tag.

This was such a sad, touching, and beautifully written piece. I loved it. Your characterisation of Mary was very interesting - though we only see her through Regulus' thoughts I could already tell the kind of person she was and she felt very believable. I could literally imagine her in my head with the way you provided the descriptions and imagery. 

My heart went out to Regulus while reading this. I could feel his pain, his sorrow, his frustration, his love, and it really touched me. It was so raw and fresh in your writing that I was hooked. Once again I have to commend your descriptions which were amazing.

I enjoyed the writing style as well. It was all in Regulus' thoughts and I liked that as it gave it a more personal feel. I think you did a very good job in getting the emotions across. I also understood the backstory perfectly and the entire context and the events that had happened all through the narrative without any separate parts explaining it which is pretty noteworthy.

The only CC I'd give is that there were a few grammatical typos I noticed here and there, especially in the beginning. If those could be fixed (and that can be done with a quick re-read) this one-shot would be flawless. I really, really, loved it. I am so glad I got a chance to read it. Great job!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author Response

Thank you so much, I'm really glad you liked it :)

Before I get on with the rest of this response I just wanna say UGH TYPOS, someone else pointed them out a couple of days ago and I hate having them in my fics so I immediately went and edited it all, and the edited version has now been sat in the queue for two days so hopefully the nice shiny error free version will be up soon... but thanks for pointing them out!

I'm glad you liked Mary's characterisation.  I really tried to make her an interesting character, with a lot of flaws as well as good parts, and not just some tragic heroine for Reg to moon over - making her a tangible person even in only his own recollections of her was a challenge, but I'm glad you liked it!

Gosh, I'm so glad you liked my writing style here too.  Weirdly I didn't revise this fic a ton of times or write bits of it out of order like I usually do, it pretty much just flowed onto the page, so I'm really glad it seems cohesive and understandable.  I didn't want to have it cutting about with flashbacks and the like because that kind of style just seemed a little too messy in this context - glad you liked all those choices!

Thanks for the lovely review :)

~Maia

Hello, here with your requested review!

I thought this was really beautiful. I was especially impressed with the way you communicated Regulus's voice - his love for Mary was really tangible, and I liked how it was kind of rough around the edges and not super maudlin like in a traditional "love letter." His personality really came through for me, like in this particular section:

<i>Maybe one day I'll find out Voldemort's secret, and then I'll kill him, just for you, like a present, so he knows even Muggleborns can be powerful, if you've killed him from beyond the grave.  But then maybe I won't.  Maybe I'll never do another thing that means anything for as long as I live.  Maybe you took all the best parts of me with you.</i>

I just love his ambivalence and the way he can't seem to commit to what he wants to do - he only knows he wants to do something desperate. It's great foreshadowing for the actions he eventually takes, as well as a good way of looking at his decision to join the Death Eaters in the first place. You really spoke volumes about who he is!

I think the letter format and secondary characterization works well, too. It seems like the purpose of the story is for Regulus to reflect on his feelings about his lost love, and so these creative choices make sense. He's writing her a letter because he can't talk to her in person anymore. He's clearly made her the object of his thoughts and actions in this moment, and so his perception of her is bound to be a little skewed toward the good. I also like that he considered her potential reactions to what he's writing, because it suggests that he really knew her intimately and had a very close bond with her, albeit a rough and tumble one.

I have no crit - hopefully that's not a problem. I'd encourage you to write in this style again because I think you have a good handle on it. Hopefully this review is helpful to you :)

-Amanda

Author Response

Oh my gosh, this is such a lovely review! I was really worried about posting this fic because I've never read or written anything in a style like this, so it means a lot that it seems to be effective!

Eek, quote reviews are the best reviews.  Fun fact: I wrote almost the whole fic in one go, then pasted it into the 'new chapter' thing on here and read through it to do the formatting, and, in that read through, suddenly wrote that quote out of nowhere.  I never write straight into the chapter thing on here so I don't know what suddenly inspired me with that section, but I'm glad you like it! I honestly was really trying to convey just how lost Regulus is at this stage - though he would have had a lot of torn loyalties when Mary was around, without her he doesn't really have anything to hold onto.  I'm glad you picked up on his indecisiveness, and desperation, because that's really what I was trying to get across with his character.

No crit! I'm very flattered! I'm actually considering writing a sequel to this, because these characters have become very stuck in my head and I keep having more things I want to do with them, so I'm glad you liked the style so much because I may well be writing in it again :D

Thanks for the lovely review, it was really helpful :)

~Maia

Tag!

Wow, this was such a great one-shot. I've just started writing a novel about Regulus, actually, and have never really read anything else about him so this was really interesting! And the style in which you wrote it was so unusual that it made it even better.

I really liked your characterizations of both Mary and Regulus, especially how Regulus described Mary - she seemed to be a very out there, different, quirky sort of person - wanting to die young, go out with a bang.

And this probably sounds weird, but I love the way you wrote about that suicide note, and how Regulus thought it was crap, and didn't sound as poetic as Mary had thought, but kept it anyway.

Great one-shot, I really enjoyed it!

Courtney:)

Author Response

I'm glad you liked it! I've never actually read much about Regulus either so this story totally came out of the blue for me, but I think I might start reading more about him now because it's really peaked my interest... I'm glad you liked Mary, her characterisation was totally out of the blue as well and I really wanted to convey that she totally wasn't perfect, but that she was still very special and Reg still loved her.  I'm glad you liked her!

Thanks for the lovely review < 3

~Maia

Hey there!
First of all, congratulations for writing a story about an unusual couple with a different plot in an uncommon way. =] I love such kind of stories and my own stories are always like that. So cheers for that!

It looks like you have given a twist to Regulus's characterization. You've done it well, but I thought it was too soft for his image in my mind. Maybe you can try to write him like Snape? He had a soft corner for Lily, but his Death Eater side showed up often. If that helps! 

Mary was really nice though. She was the Mary I always imagine. =] Great job for that!

Overall, this was very effective.
Ashwini

Author Response

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked Mary.  I've honestly never tried to write her before or even thought about her much before this fic so her characterisation was kind of out of the blue and I'm glad you liked it.  As far as Reg goes, for some reason I've always pictured him as kind of softer than people like Snape.  All the description we get of him in the books is that he got 'in over his head' with the death eaters, plus he then went on to discover Voldemort's secret and try and kill him, so I've never thought he was really evil or anything, and also he's so young in this story that I wanted to show the side of him that's really just a heartbroken little kid.  Sorry you didn't quite love the characterisation, but thanks for the feedback!

~Maia :)

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