Merry Christmas. Here is a gift for the Ravenclaw Gift exchange
To start off , I'm totally with you when you say that girls get the short end of the stick. Especially the part of being treated like property...us girls are not prizes to be won and nobody owns us. The fact that Rose asked Scorpious out worked in well with this beginning as it broke the stereotypical norms of dating.
Anyway...into the story now. I found it to be lighthearted and humourous. I was smiling at the antics of Lily. Poor Rose, I'm sure if she had her way, she would have rolled out of bed and been ready with minimal fuss in 5 mins.
Rose and Lily appear to be complete opposites, based on what I see here. Rose seems quite laid back and goes with the flow, where Lily is quite demanding and speaks her mind. She doesn't particularly care what others think, she will make her point and stick with it. I had to laugh when she poured the pitcher over Rose's head. Its s sure fire way to get someone to react, but Rose just did as she was asked.
I'm sure the cousins are planning something devious. You can just tell. Rose knows too, though I think a part of her is in denial that her cousins would stoop so low as to potentially ruin her first date with Scoprius.
The story flowed well and the interchange between Lily and Rose was believable and witty. This first chapter is pretty fun and it's a great start. I'm sure that the mischief created on the first date is going to be equally, if not more hilarious than the antics of this chapter.
Well done on a great start.
Author's Response: Wow I'm really late to this I'm so sorry!
I always figured that Rose, having grown up with Hermione would've been perfectly normal with breaking stereotypes. You're right that Rose definitely wouldn't have put so much effort into her date. But at least she's got Lily there to help her pick out what to wear.
Rose is definitely more easy-going, she's not the type of person who thinks her way is the only way. Rose is more flexible compared to Lily, who's more of a this is the way to do it, follow the plan or else. It's why they get along so well because they go with what the other wants.
Thank you so much for leaving a review!
Wow. If I was Rose, I would cry too. That was very bad date. She deserved better. I also feel bad for Scorpius. Hopefully he doesn't think she is crazy. And omg he talked to his dad about her! That is so sweet. And then he blushed and everything. Sorry, I am gushing. I tend to do that when I read about very cute ScoRose moments.
This was a nice and disastrous (in Rose's case) chapter. I liked Scorpius's character and I liked that I got to know Rose more. The only thing I noticed is that you may have been missing a couple commas here and there. They were really minor though, so don't worry about it.
Author's Response: I don't think the words 'that was a very bad date,' have ever made me so happy. I know it's horrible of me to say but I was aiming for a very bad and horrible date.
It's totally okay that you're gushing, your gushing is making me smile. I couldn't help but squeal a little bit because you found it cute and I was hoping it would be cute and GAH!
Again, thanks for pointing out the stuff that I missed, I'll go back and edit the two chapters as soon as I can!
Thanks for reviewing!
Hello! I'm Sama, here from the Ravenclaw review battle!
I actually really liked the title and growing plot of this story. It is quite fluffy yet funny. Rose's character is great. And hopefully we'll get to know more of Scorpius in the next chapter. Autumn sounds interesting. Maybe we'll see her later too.
Her cousins sound very suspicious. I wonder how her date will go with cousins watching her (and Scorpius's) every move.
Another thing I have to praise you on is staying away from the cliche that is Rose and Scorpius hating each other. This is a nice change.
Lastly: "Lily responded by throwing a high heeled show at Autumn's head. " I think 'show' is supposed to be 'shoe.'
Great first chapter!
Author's Response: Hey there Sama!
I have the challenge to thank for this story. I'm happy to hear that you found it funny, that's something that I was aiming for so that's good to hear! I plan on putting Autumn in the next couple of chapters, if things go as planned then she will show up.
Good, I was trying to make Rose's cousin sound suspicious, I wasn't really sure if I'd achieved that so it's good to hear that I have!
I'm going to confess something, that's how I'd originally planned on starting it but then it occurred to me that it would take too long to build up to the romance so I started with them likely each other from the beginning. I'm very glad I did.
Thanks for pointing out the typo, I probably would've totally missed it if you hadn't pointed it out.
Thanks for reviewing!
omg this is soo good please post the next chapter
Author's Response: Glad that you like it and honestly, I haven't even started the next chapter!
Here for review tag!
Aw I feel so sorry for poor Rose. I'd die if something like that happened to me, especially on my first date with the guy I like. Her family did go too far with everything. I'd hate to have such a family. I hate her cousins now, really.
She and Scorpius should definitely do something to get back at them, or perhaps Rose should complain to Molly who would send all her grandkids (minus Rose) a nice howler to straighten them up.
I loved Scorpius by the way. He was so cute, it made me smile. I liked how he'd talked to Draco about Rose and his father was okay with it. I also liked the way he tried to make Rose feel comfortable despite everything going wrong. I hope he's able to comfort Rose soon though.
I can't wait to see how the story progresses. I would love to see Scorpius and Rose 'getting together' and then plotting something against Rose's evil cousins.
By the way, all the 'pranks' were pretty awesome. I could imagine the scenarios in my head which was cool. If I wasn't feeling sorry for my favourite couple (Rose/Scorpius), I'd actually laugh xP
Great job! Keep writing!
Author's Response: I must be an evil author because I enjoyed making Rose go through all of those pranks (sometimes I worry about where all of these ideas come from). It's a good thing that you think they went too far with everything because that was kind of what I was aiming for.
Her cousins won't be as bad later on in the story though so you might like them later on.
That would be a great idea actually (I'll think about actually doing that). A Howler from Molly Weasley would set anyone straight.
I figured that as much as Malfoy may hate the Weasley's, he probably moved on from all of that as the years went on. I didn't really think that he would have a very huge problem with Scorpius dating Rose (I plan on making Rose annoy Draco just to get a rise out of him).
It would be pretty epic if they teamed up and got back at her family (I've already got an idea in my head what could happen).
I'm glad that you enjoyed the pranks, I enjoyed writing them and I'm happy to see that description has not failed me.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Hi! Here from Team Blue for the Review Battle!
Well, that was probably the worst first date ever! Poor Rose and Scorpius :( I liked how they were both good sports despite all that happened and persisted with the date, and I bet things won't turn out as bad as Rose anticipated. It's nice to see that Scorpius isn't as high-strung as I expected him to be.
It did seem like Rose's family went a little too far with all the pranks. I would have thought that they cared enough about Rose to only mess with her a little and not try to ruin the entire date, especially after they saw that she and Scorpius were getting along well despite the chaos. Less might be more in this case--maybe just a big prank in one part of the date with time for the two of them to recover?
I like how this is going so far. Good job!
Author's Response: As weird as this may sound, I'm glad that you think it's the worst date ever (that was the whole point of the challenge) so hearing that means that I achieved my goal!
I had planned on making Rose just walk out of the date at some point because she just couldn't take anything anymore but it occurred to me that that wouldn't be a very Gryffindor thing to do.
Good, they were supposed to go too far with the pranks. They do care about Rose, a whole lot in fact but they just expected that because she was a Weasley and George owned a joke shop that she'd be okay with the pranks. They just assumed that she wouldn't mind and would laugh at them.
Thanks for the feedback and thanks for reviewing!
So, I picked this story because I appear to be slowly working my way through your entire body of work, and this looked like a fun one! It's been ages since I read a first date horrible or otherwise, story!
So I guess the Wotter clan is going to make some mischief happen for poor Rose and Scorpius! I'm looking forward to it, even though I am already cringing on the inside, thinking about what madness and mayhem they are going to inflic upon Rose and Scorpius!
I already like your version of Rose. It was nice to see that she was the one who took the initiative to ask Scorpius out! Kudos to her!
And even though Autumn was in this for like, a grand total of two and a half lines, she's my favourite character so far, hands down, simply because we seem to have exceptionally similar thoughts where our sleep is concerned!
Author's Response: I hope that you enjoy everything that you read as you go through all of my works. Enjoy your stay at Casa de Alexfan/AlPotterFan/Grace/whatever you want to call me.
It's a good thing that this challenge came along and gave you something different to read as opposed to the dates that go fine.
This is the 21st Century, men don't always have to ask out the girl, the girl can ask out the guy. WOMEN'S RIGHTS AND ALL THAT JAZZ!
Lol, Autumn is one of my favourite characters at the moment as well. I just liked the part where she said Lily was a devil child.
Thanks for reviewing!
Hey! Here for your review tag.
This seems like a fun little story. I like your characterisation of Rose, Lily, Autumn, and Scorpius so far. I also like the idea of starting the story with Rose & Scorpius going on a date, it is a refreshing approach as opposed to all the love/hate stuff we usually have. I wonder what the surprise is though. You have left the chapter on a curious note and I like it. Do keep writing.
Author's Response: Hello there!
I'm glad that you like the characters and I'm pretty sure that Autumn is my favourite character to write in this even if the story isn't being told from her point of view.
I actually thought about starting this in the usual love/hate way but then I remembered that this was a horrible date challenge and I couldn't write 20 or so chapters before the date actually happened.
Thank God for this challenge, it made me start a Rose/Scorpius story differently from how it's usually started.
Let's put it the surprise in short story, it include a lot of destroyed Hogsmeade property.
Thank you so much for reviewing!
Hii there, im here from thr review tag
okay so this chapter is a filler im waiting for some action, very excited i might as well add.
I Laughed at blinking part because i do that too. i want to know what the Wotters have planned. poor Rose, i feelbad for her already. would they end up being together after this?
i would really like a happy ending. you flow was smooth, writing was fine and simple i suggest taking it to the next level and add some beautiful words, vocab is a gift.
im sorry for the messed up capitalisation and commas, bear with me im writing from my tab and you know how touch screens can get.
anyhow, good start. update soon.
Author's Response: HELLO THERE!
I was thinking about just diving right into the date but I didn't like that idea because it didn't work when I tried to write it and I just didn't want to start the story off like that. I settled for a somewhat entertaining beginning.
I'm happy that you're excited then! The next chapter is finished, I'm just waiting for my story to get validated before putting the second chapter of this in the cue.
I'm pretty sure that just about every female blinks when mascara is being applied to their eyes (I myself have gotten stabbed in the eye multiple times).
They will most definitely end up being together after this (for some odd reason I had the urge to give Scorpius a brain tumor at some point in the story and have him die but I decided that was bit depressing and would be out of nowhere).
I like to keep it simply and straight to the point when I write because I feel like using fancy words that people probably don't know is just really unnecessary. It's happened to me when I'm reading and I guess I just do the opposite of those fancy words without really thinking about it.
I know how it is typing on a touch screen, it can be slow and annoying (and autocorrrect thinks it's funny to make your life more difficult).
Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
I can't wait for the next chapter ;)
Oh geez, that first part of the story made me feel guilty :P Girls do have to go through a lot. I can't even comprehend all that make-up stuff, let alone someone shaving their legs *shiver*.
As always, you've definitely captured me into your plotline, and Lily was just a sassy little bag of fun! Wow, I don't know where that came from, sorry.
Looking forward to your next chapter,
Author's Response: Funnily enough, I actually finished writing the next chapter the very day that you left this review so I thought that was pretty funny. Then again, I might just have a really lame sense of humor.
Us females got the short end of the stick and you're not alone on the make-up part. I can't comprehend any of it either (I once stood examining a mascara brush for fifteen minutes just try to figure out what it did. There was also that time that I thought eyelash curlers were just really weird scissors and tried to cut something with them.)
I love writing sassy Lily (I just love writing sassy characters in general).
Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
I really enjoyed this chapter, it's a great start. I haven't read that many Scorose fanfics where they actually like each other in the beginning; this is refreshing. I just hope they don't end up hating each other by the end of the story!
The dialogue between Lily and Rose was very funny, especially Rose's deadpan narration. I can't wait to read the next chapter, especially to find out what Rose's mischevious family is going to do!
Author's Response: I thought I'd start a story a little differently instead of making Rose and Scorpius hate each other since that seems to be done a lot. For now, I'll promise that they won't hate each other but depending on how the story goes (and how evil I can be) they might end up that way (boy, would that be a twist!)
Lily is one of my favourites even if she is being a little bit mean and evil.
I'm so happy that you enjoyed this and I hope that you enjoy the next chapter (which I'm working on) and the shenanigans that go on.