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This was such an emotional piece and let me tell you I definitely found myself welling up at the end! This hit me right in the feels :( you did such a wonderful job of painting Teddy's life as an orphan and his childlike naivety and innocence which his grandmother and the other parents can't understand, and it was really lovely to read. I thought he also had a nice relationship with his grandmother too, because she clearly wanted to protect him from the others and loves him very much. Typical Teddy though being so brave and taking after his parents in that way!

The final part is what really got me. I mean, how emotional did you want to make it?! Haha. Perhaps a little more backstory as to why he was in hospital and a little more development with the description would be good in this section, but the point is that it was truly emotional and you pulled it off to very good effect. As a reader I found myself hoping that Teddy would get better and I wish I knew what was going to happen to him because poor pregnant Victoire if he doesn't survive! :(

On the whole I was really impressed by the emotional impact that you made with quite a short piece. It shows your skill as a writer and your ability to create a situation that is truly dramatic and full of emotion.

Great work :)
I don't even know if i have words for that. It was really good and really sweet. Great, great job!
Aww, that was so sweet. You did a good job keeping the narrative true to what a six year old boy would think. To contrast that even better with how grown-up Teddy thinks, I might elaborate a little bit more on the ending, that way it's clearer for readers to see that the writing reflects the age of the character.

Otherwise, good work!


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