2012-08-19 08:34:42
That was really sad:(
2012-08-19 08:34:42
Ravenclaw Review Tag!
wow. this seriously gave me the chills. it made me so sad but i loved it. and yes, i did tear up. i love how you make it sound so ginny-esque. like i can almost hear her saying all of this.
seriously, this was amazing.

Author's Response: That's exactly what I was aiming for! I'm glad you liked it. :) Thanks so much for the lovely review!

2012-08-19 08:34:42
Wah wah wah! Please excuse me while I cry my eyes out. Wah wah wah. Ok I'm done. YOU EVIL CHILD! HOW COULD YOU KILL HARRY!

Author's Response: Haha, BECAUSE I CAN! HARRY DESERVES TO DIE!!! Lol just kidding. I'm glad it made you cry though! (In the sense that it was good, not because I like making you cry, haha.) Thanks for reviewing evil child!

2012-08-19 08:34:42
come on don't cry dont cry is all i was thinking as I read the so amazingly sad, but not in the heartbreaking destroyed kind but in the quiet dead kind as soeone once said "its the quiet that hurts the most" I loved it

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked the story! Haha, I kind of think I failed at this song fic but I'm glad you thought it was sad. :) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing (and the author favorite!!) It means so much to me!

2012-08-19 08:34:42
Hello! (:

I may not be crying right now, but I am close to it. I'm not really an AU person, but I found that I liked this one-shot.

I think Ginny's thoughts could've been a bit more defined because they seemed a bit repetitive to me, but it wasn't a really big problem. I just kinda noticed it maybe three-quarters down the story.

The twist in the end really stabbed my heart. Its not just the fanfiction itself but the possibility that the HP series could've ended this way. Jeez, my heart will be shattered. Imagine if it didn't end with 'all was well'. :'(

Anyway, great job with the story! I enjoyed it even though my heart kinda suffered a bit. ;)


24th review out of 100

Author's Response: Glad you liked this one-shot! I'm not much of an AU person either, though I like experimenting with it sometimes. I know this lacked some detail but I was focusing so much on the emotions I didn't notice. x)

Yeah, I had fun with this 'what-if' scenario, and the HP series could have really ended this way. (But I could never separate Harry and Ginny! D:)

Thanks again for the lovely review! :)

2012-08-19 08:34:42
I cried. Lots. I think that's all that needs to be said :') x

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much for the review! I'm glad I managed to get the emotions across. :)

2012-08-19 08:34:42
Very good story. I like it =]

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

2012-08-19 08:34:42
Hi Rosie, here for the BvB :)

I enjoyed this one, and more to the point, I like how you killed Harry off. In Ginny's monologue I wasn't expecting it because as you said in your AN, you WERE canon for most of it and then BAM, surprise. I quite enjoyed that actually. Never liked the name Albus Severus, glad someone ended that before that started lol... :)

There was one point of repetition which I just noticed of "I remember it like it was only yesterday", which given it was said not long beforehand just kind of stood out as a repeat. That would be my suggestion as to rewording the second one perhaps just to make it a little different? And I know the astricks thing is to notify people of the book canon taking place, but with such a memorable line by Molly Weasley I doubt anyone would ever forget it, and if you highlight the fact as you've done in the AN that it is a canon quote, I'd remove the astricks as they do distract a tiny bit.

Aside from that, it was a beautiful read. The angst and pain Ginny felt resonated beautifully on the page, it was a Harry/Ginny romance with a twist and I did enjoy the surprise ending. I felt that made it a lot more enjoyable than if you were to follow the darker theme and have him survive, it just wouldn't have made sense. Beautiful description and imagery portrayed here too, very enjoyable! :)

The bittersweet ending was a nice touch too, a little bit of a tip of the hat back towards canon, as if they would always be together. I liked it. Very enjoyable story Rosie, nice work! Bobby :)

Author's Response: Hi! It's fine that you reviewed this story instead of my other one, btw. :)

I'm glad you enjoyed this! Personally, I've always thought the ending in DH would have been more dramatic if Harry died. Oh yes, and before Albus Severus, too...haha. :P

I've never thought about the astricks...I'll look into that an maybe edit them out. :)

I'm so happy I managed to show Ginny's angst in this! And that you didn't think killing Harry was a bit wierd/confusing. (I don't really want to think he died though...this was just an experiment.)

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D

2012-08-19 08:34:42
Like your chapter loads, though it didn't make me cry, it still made me upset when Harry dies. Also, I think you should make the paragraph after Harry is killed longer to show more emotion for Ginny. Keep writing :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review. I'll try to look into that paragraph. :) I'm glad you liked it overall though.

2012-08-19 08:34:42
so finally i read this! i saw it long ago, when it was posted, but i never read becz i dont like Taylor swift much. still, i thought the summary was interesting so i finally came here. my friend ashwini told me that this is an interesting story. i guess u know her. :)
THE TWIST!!! OMG, i never thought of something like that! i never thought anyone will dare kill Harry. so congratulations from me for doing something diffrent.
i liked the end. "I turned my head to look behind me, but still, I saw no one. I smiled softly, and muttered, "I love you too, Harry." that was amazing, just amazing ending... I felt so baad for poor ginny. :(
but i think the paragraph after "oh holding my breath" needs some improvement as it fails to show Ginny's sadness. pls do some small corrections. try to show that her heart was broken. Okay? :)
but still, a nicely written fic.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks for the amazing review! I must thank Ashwini for recommending this to you! :)

I know! I don't usually write AU, and normally I would never even think of killing Harry. (Because my headcanon is that Harry and Ginny live a long and happy life together.) :P So this was just a fun writing experiment.

Hmm...you're the first reviewer to point that out, so perhaps I'll look into that.

Again, thanks so much for the review! :)

2012-08-19 08:34:42
I have to say, first off, that I really don't normally read this sort of AU. I generally prefer really wild AU - like the Marauders stuck in Arthurian times or something like that. Things like this where the details are changed, so it's not quite the same world we know from the books is not generally my sort of thing.

Anyway, I've seen this around on the archives a couple of times when I've been looking for things to read and somehow never got round to it (even though I made a mental note that I probably should), so I'm here now :P

Your first and last paragraphs were lovely. They were simple, easy to read and understand, so full of emotion and very, very poignant. There was so much weight carried in them, but at the same time they seemed to light... I dunno, they were just lovely.

I think one thing, if I had to give you one thing to work on, would be your word choice. You used 'evil' a lot in this, and you seemed hesitant to use words like 'screamed' instead of 'cried' and to make things more sudden. It was like you wanted it to be soft - but you're writing action. You can't let your words hesitate, or the scene hesitates. Does that make sense? I hope so... :)

Gah, the emotion in this was just lovely, though. I thought you handled the angst really well. You used enough emotion and enough force with it to make me really believe that Ginny was feeling that way and to get the hurt across. I'm a pretty hard-hearted person, too, so kudos to you ;)

Lastly, your characterisation was great, as well. Ginny seemed so like the character we know from the books - although, of course, we only saw her through Harry's eyes which coloured her a bit. Rose-tinted glasses and all that jazz. I thought she was well developed and she felt genuine and real, which is always so good to find in a story.

And, of course, the Ron/Hermione moment was just lovely :)

I really enjoyed reading this - I'm glad I found this on your page in the battle.

Aph xx

p.s. I'm still not entirely sure if what I meant about hesitating was clear - if not, feel free to pm me to ask questions. I don't bite, I promise!

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for the amazing review! :D

I'm not really an AU fan either--this was pretty much an experiment for me. (And by the way, my head-canon is that Harry and Ginny live a long and happy life together. :P)

I'm glad you liked the fact that I got the emotions across! That was primarily my goal. :)

I know, word choice and description is something I have serious problems with and I'm trying to improve that. Thank you for pointing that out! :)

Again, thanks for the lovely review! :D

2012-08-19 08:34:42
I looked at this because I love the song Haunted.
I LOVE this story, it seems so real.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for the kind review! It made my day. :)

2012-08-19 08:34:42
Hey there! I'm here with your requested review.

Although I can hardly admire AU -it confuses me, they way you've written this story kept me engrossed throughout. Your words and thoughts are so meticulously arranged and wonderfully touching! You make Ginny sound so genuine and I found myself sympathising with her.

The flow throughout the story is really wonderful. The way you show us things through Ginny's eyes made things play out in my head like a movie, honestly. Even though you focus on faces and emotions, the way you arrange the events just made things very easy to follow and to keep me interested.

And yes, I teared up once Sectumsempra was shot! I think you wrote that bit very well and focused on bringing up the people that we really would be curious about the state of in a moment as terrifying as such. I found Hermione's reaction very canon; no one can continue to function under a crisis like Hermione!

Anyway, I think that this is a nice, touching read and I'm glad to have come by it. Great job!


Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a great review. :)

I used to hate AU too. But then I read some great AU stories here and I started giving it a chance. Although, my head canon is that Harry and Ginny live a long and happy life together. So this was basically an experiment, forcing myself to try something new. ;)

I am so happy you liked the emotions! I tried focusing on emotion the most, but I was afraid this would sound really bland, being just an out-pour of emotions.

I'm glad you enjoyed this, and once again thank you for the review! :)

2012-08-19 08:34:42
Yeah, you made me cry when i reached the last line..

Author's Response: Aww, thanks so much for the review! I'm glad I made you cry! (Er, in a nice way, of course. :P) Again thank you! :)

2012-08-19 08:34:42
Hi dear! I'm here with your review since you responded to my status!

I'd like to start off my saying I just love, love, love your opening and closing paragraphs. I thought they were spectacular. There was just something about them that seemed really natural - your natural style and voice seemed to shine through.

On the note of style and voice, I do have a critique. Everything else seemed forced, darling, to be blunt. I don't know what you normally write, but those opening and closing paragraphs have a touch of romance and that seemed to be where you were most comfortable as a writer. Not to say that everything in-between was bad, but I felt like I was being robbed of what you had accomplished in the aforementioned paragraphs. I learned several months ago that short story authors often miss the mark (even more so in fanfiction) because they're not telling the meat, the /real/ story. I see this somewhat in your story because, it seems, that you're not giving me description. You're giving me emotional outpouring, which is fabulous, but I didn't feel connected to the scene - this is why I say it felt forced - lovers of Harry Potter know the story of Harry's last battle with Voldemort inside and out, but not from the perspective of Ginny. I was hoping that you would regale me with Ginny's version of the setting, the mood, her feelings (which you accomplished splendidly), with all those things we want to hear from a woman so deeply in love.

I hope I wasn't too harsh in my assessment, my dear. Your story has so much merit, so much potential - I see great potential in you as a writer. It's those two paragraphs, particularly the last one. You have me a bit of a setting description, but you gave me emotion, and let me tell you, that's what the reader wants. They want to feel so inexplicably connected with a story that they can't bear to tear themselves away. Overall, I did think it was good (and great song choice - it went very nicely with Ginny's emotions).

Please feel free to PM me to rant about my being mean (I hope not!) or if you have questions or need help!


Author's Response: Hello! Don't worry about it being harsh, you were kind enough to take some time to leave me a review and that's what matters. ^^

I see what you mean with description...it's a weakness that I've been attempting to overcome for ages. I thought if I focused only on emotion, description wouldn't matter. But I see that was a mistake on my part.

I'm glad you thought this story had potential, though. :)

Again, thank you so much for the review and your time. :)

2012-08-19 08:34:42
No! That twist! It did make me cry!

Even without the twist this would have been a great canon retelling of Ginny's POV during the battle. There are so many great lines, I can't even pick them out. You've really thought about what Ginny would be thinking and feeling and I love that. The way she wishes she'd been less shy and they'd had more time together, the way she hates Voldemort and knows that he is lying.

My favourite bit was her take on the battle between Molly and Bellatrix. I particularly loved this line: " Mum fought not only with her wand, but with her heart." The only criticism I have of that bit is that Molly's eyes are stained with the tears of losing Harry. I think Fred deserves another mention at that point!

The moment where Harry protects Molly made me suddenly realise that Harry has truly come full-circle... His mother protected him, saved his life as a baby and now Harry is able to protect the only mother he's truly felt cared for him since the death of Lily. It's like he's giving something back.

Then that twist! Oh my. I think I'm quite cross with you. Not because it's a bad twist, or badly written, but because it's such a SAD twist, so well written! You really captured the sudden change of mood, reading it I felt like it all happened in slow motion. Everyone's reactions were great, especially Hermione yelling for Madam Pomfrey.

There's something so cruel and shocking about it being the 'Sectumsempra' spell that kills Harry, particularly as we know Snape created it and that Harry has only recently found out the truth about Snape. Sad sad sad!

I was so shocked that I didn't get teary eyed until this line: "Hermione rested her head on Ron's shoulder, both of them crying harder than ever before. You deserved those tears. Every single one. "
...and then this made my eyes even more prickly: "But there is no one on this planet like you. No one."

...and then this made me feel angry: " It wasn't fair, I thought, wiping away my tears. Why did you have to die so early? You were forced into war and battle and you had no choice."

...and then the final paragraph really got me. SO beautiful, so sad, so haunting. It's very vivid too, I can imagine the breeze blowing Ginny's hair and can almost see Harry looking down at her.

This was wonderful (if upsetting!) and I'm glad I followed your status update over here! I didn't see any spelling mistakes, which made it really easy to just enjoy, and until the twist your canon-work was perfect ;)

Well done!
Athene xo

Author's Response: Gah! Athene! Thank you so much for this amazing review, it totally made my day! :D

I'm so used to writing from Ginny's PoV now, haha. Probably because I'm writing an entire novel from her PoV, so I can really 'get into' her mind.

I am so glad this made you cry! (Er, that sounded a bit mean but you know what I mean. :P)

You're right, I should have mentioned Fred at that part. I'll probably edit that in. I guess I was so focused on Ginny that I forgot about Fred! :)

I know, I might sound like a real creep but I wanted to kill Harry in a cruel way, haha. :P

Thank you so much for pointing out your favorite lines! I am so happy you thought I did a good job with this piece, and thank you so much for leaving me such an awesome review! :D



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