Reading Reviews for Before They Fall
  
959 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Kaity Forever Frozen In Time

24th June 2017:
Oh my goodness, tears are literally streaming down my face!! This was almost worse than dobby's death!! (Almost!) I love belle I'm so sad right now! But that was the best way to write it, you wrote it so well!! I am in love with your story, thank you so much! Now whenever I'm reading Harry Potter and Sirius is mentioned, I'm going to think of belle! 😭

Author's Response: Aww I'm so happy you liked it! Thank you so much for the awesome words! It sucked killed belle, it really did.

Thanks for your kind words!
Jami


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Review #2, by Sushmita The Force That Drives Us

25th April 2017:
Loved this story and can't wait to read more of "As Darkness Descends". This story definitely got me hooked. As far as this chapter goes, I guess killing "Belle" before graduation made the whole graduation ceremony sort of pointless and sad.
A few typos to fix
"still no her"
"Why don’t you over and sit"
"or if the helped sew just "

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Review #3, by Sushmita Forever Frozen In Time

24th April 2017:
So hard to watch Belle die but I guess if u wanted to stay true to JKR's story she had to. Bellatrix is just so evil! I wish it wasnt so abrupt green light and the two of them just disappear without any confrontation, but I guess if they could disapparate from the flat its just as quick.
A few typos for u to fix
"entrance so they’re reading to go
no longer insulting them from the noise outside
But I will not save you and of Mrs. Potter’s breakfast.
inch over him as he it started sinking in
nervous steak shoot through him
but all the sudden
felt herself to struggle
It almost felt welcomed against her boiled inside,
thought of how her she and Sirius
When the murdered released Belle's "

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Review #4, by Sushmita A Test of Wills

24th April 2017:
Slight typo "so she was certain he opinion wasn’t warranted."

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Review #5, by Sushmita A Test of Wills

24th April 2017:
What an exciting chapter! I was totally hooked.

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Review #6, by Sushmita Accepting and Understanding

21st April 2017:
I don't like the idea of Lily referring to herself as a "mudblood" when that's the reason she broke up with Severus for calling her that.

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Review #7, by Sushmita Accepting and Understanding

20th April 2017:
Typos to fix "an odd kind if disbelief filling them", "me to follower her"

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Review #8, by Sushmita A Servant's Attack

17th April 2017:
Really brilliantly written to describe the evil Dark lord and his evil servants. My heart goes out to Regulus who has to watch all this but also shows why he chose to do the right thing later.
Some typos "he’d come buy just to talk"
"and he was going to make it her in time"

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Review #9, by Sushmita Dueling Lessons

17th April 2017:
Typo "He’d been so stuck imaging the future"

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Review #10, by Sushmita Srikant Alrek's Plans

17th April 2017:
Typo "Butterscotch - would have something new toy to play with."
Love the cliffhanger aspect!

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Review #11, by MalfoysAngel A Night of Surprises

1st April 2017:
You have a way with scene changes. I've been sucked into this story from chapter one and It's amazing! I've been reading fan fiction for almost eleven years now. How I managed to not find this story until now is beyond me but I'm so glad I did.

The way you are developing the relationship between James and Lily without leaving the other marauders out is so creative. James's reaction to becoming quidditch captain and the way he told Lily is how I imagine I would react if I was chosen and I liked how you included the aftermath and how he was handling all the demands and requests of his housemates.

I really liked how you used Remus to help Lily understand that it's okay to miss her parents and thought it was a great idea to have Remus tell her his secret without actually giving it away.

Having Lily be a witness to a meeting of Death Eaters was the icing on the cake and it shows her rebellious side a little more. Every chapter I read leaves me wanting more and I can't tell you enough how much I'm enjoying reading your story.

Author's Response: Hey there, I'm so happy you are enjoying it! Thank you so much for the kind words!

Jami


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Review #12, by Marshal Head Boy and Girl

1st April 2017:
When it comes to Lily's emotional recovery you are handling it well. I am glad you aren't rushing it and it is moving slowly so kudos there. I also liked the fight between James and Lily while the fight was from her perspective my brain was all in James head feeling where he was on this and you played his responses well and I feel accurately.

I will say however that I'm never found of a special seperate dorm for the head boy and girl in some ways it feels like an over done trope but at the same time I get the trope and I get what you are trying to do here. I also find it interesting that secrets have to be shared to enter. I can kind of already see where you intend to go with it as you have already used it to get some character emotion across that isn't always easily rendered outside of it.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see where you take the relationship between Lily and James from here as they have to continue to spend added time together and away from their friends some.

Also, I like your Frank. Though technically speaking he was older than the marauders I get why he's there and he was fun when it came to the boggart and McGonagal's remark about the new professor being up to his standards that was cute and funny all the same.

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Review #13, by ABlack Head Boy and Girl

1st April 2017:
I know chapter images aren’t necessarily part of the writing, but the ones you have for this tale are just lovely and really serve to enhance the experience.

Lily questioning why her heart gives a little jump so soon after her parents have been laid to rest – ugh! It’s just perfect. Of course she’d feel a level of guilt, it’s only natural. And then there’s the wonderful little touch that Hogwarts feels like home to her. So reminiscent of what Harry feels during his years there.

You’re handling of McGonagall and Dumbledore’s dialogue really shines. You got a great grasp on them.

Typically when I read a story that includes the Head Girl and Boy getting their own quarters, I pause. Blame it on reading too many such fanfics over the years that featured this set up and were poorly handled. I have confidence, though, that you won’t have any issues.

The description of their common room was detailed, but not overly so. That he can’t enter her room is expected. That they’d lose their position if they get naughty with the other in that person’s bedroom? That feels at once a little like a stretch (this rule doesn’t exist in the Tower), yet not a real restriction since there is no mention of no naughtiness in their new common room.

I look forward to seeing where you take this next!

~Alexis

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Review #14, by MalfoysAngel Hogwarts Express

1st April 2017:
This made me cry! Your descriptions capture grief beautifully and I know exactly how Lily feels right now. I lost my grandmother a couple years ago and I went through every emotion that Lily has in about the same amount of time. I had to be forced to eat and it took me a couple months before I was able to function somewhat normally again. I was pretty much left alone to deal with all the new emotions, and I'm glad that Lily had James and the rest of the Potter clan (including the Marauders) to help her and not let her drown in her grief.

Speaking of James, If this was actually canon, this would show the exact moment when James went from being an arrogant prat (Lily's words, not mine) to being a decent human being and I'm really glad you decided to capture this moment. I can actually picture James offering his support to Lily and the exact moment when he helps her realize that she'll be okay.

Thank you for such a beautiful chapter. You have an amazing way with words and I'm excited to read the next chapter to see what you have in store for James, Lily, and the rest of the gang.

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Review #15, by Marshal Hogwarts Express

1st April 2017:
Well here I am at chapter 2 and I like how you are developing the friendship/romance of Lily and James. You are doing a nice job of relaxing the two characters into one another. Of course we always knew that James cared for Lily but I like how Lily is learning that she can depend on him and that he isn't always a prat.

I always feel that a good friendship is a good basis for a good relationship and that is what you have building here. I also like the light humor you've weaved into the chapter - I feel that it is much needed to keep the sadness and heart break Lily is feeling from getting to the reader.

I will be interested to see what you will have next in the coming chapters for Lily and James and the others of course - and I am eager to meet your Remus in this story. He's my favorite character so it will be interesting to see you take on him. I kind of guessed when he wasn't present that there was a moon and of course he would be stubborn and say no to the others joining him so close to the start of the school year.

Anyway we shall see what is next!

Author's Response: I so agree, Remus s such an amazing character. I had so much fun exploring him and Lily's friendship in this story. As much as I love the romance aspect of Lily and James, it's raelly the friendship of the entire group that makes (for me) writing a Marauders era so great. The dynamics of it all, combined with the love story aspect, are my favorite thing to explore.

Thank you so much for you kind words, and I hope you're enjoying the rest!


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Review #16, by ABlack Sirius Black

1st April 2017:
I’d love to quote a certain blue fish with short term memory about just knowing this is going to be a good story! It’s a rare feeling.

On a side note, can I just take a moment to say how much I prefer the name you gave James’ father versus what JKR came up with? William is much better than Fleamont.

Anyways, the level of detail in this opening chapter is great. You deftly weave elements in like William and Oliva’s concerned for James as well as Sirius. It feels natural that their affection extends to him. The early acceptance into Auror training as well as it being costly plays off perfectly against Sirius’ pride. It also neatly solidifies the timeframe. That the Potters would have paid for the training only serves to highlight how much they come to love Sirius.

I thought I knew where this was going, but then Lily stepped out and turned any notion I had on its head. That she was so quiet, so turned inward spoke volumes. That’s not the demeanor we’ve come to expect from the spunky Lily Evans. She obviously trying to be strong and holding back tears.

I loved how you only gave her one line, yet those four words have so much impact. What happened? Was it the Death Eaters? Was it just an accident? You leave me wanting – no, needing – to know.

Author's Response: Haha yes this was written before that information came out, though I can't say I'd have been able to name him Fleamont either! I'm so glad you liked this chapter, to be honest the first few in my opinion are the roughest and I feel like it really sort of smooths out around chapter 5. I hope you're enjoying it!! Thanks again!

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Review #17, by Marshal Sirius Black

1st April 2017:
Ooo a very nice start! I like how you set things up with Sirius and I think that you using the voice of James' mum Olivia was a nice touch too. It is a different perspective than what most people take when writing a Marauder story.

I am curious what is going to happen with the auror training and Sirius but I get the feeling that he is going to have to ask the Potters for help seeing as he mentioned the whole concept of getting courage to speak to them rather than his own parents. (Unless I miss read that.)

Anyway the introduction of Lily and the death of her parents was a nice addition and twist. I didn't have it figured until near the end. I was thinking just before the end how you are going to have to kiss Mr and Mrs Potter as well as Lily's parents and then realized that is what has got Lily.

Still it is a lot for the characters to go through particularly James and Lily both loosing their parents on the cusp of war and while James may not know Lily's parents well it is still a blow particularly knowing that the one you love is hurting from such a loss. Maybe that will be a plot point for James and Lily comforting eachother. Who knows, as I am probably rambling.

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Review #18, by Sushmita When Past Collides With Present

6th March 2017:
I absolutely loved getting to know Belle, her family, their interactions, how supportive Sirius was and the "punch". Loved the length of it. This chapter was just perfect!

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Review #19, by Sushmita One of Theirs

21st February 2017:
Absolutely love the way u portray Bellatrix Lestrange and how she is the person she is. Magnificent to read the mirror scene and the emotions that traverse thru her mind.

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Review #20, by Sushmita Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

17th February 2017:
Yours was a wonderful insight on how they changed into their animal and human forms. I don't think I had read about this in any other hpff till now and it was fantastic to read it from James' POV. I also liked the beginning where Sirius showed such a considerate side to Belle when she was in tears.

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Review #21, by Sushmita The Picture of Friendship

15th February 2017:
Great chapter! I love the heat building up between James and Lily, specially coz I wasn't really buying the connection between James and Lily till this chapter. For some reason its the way James spoke to Lily just didn't feel like it rang true to me, he was always super polite with her to give her space. Loved reading a lil of Remus' POV in the end as well.

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Review #22, by sushmita Head Boy and Girl

22nd December 2016:
I saw some misspelt words that could be fixed. This chapter was a bit of a drag.

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Review #23, by An accidental stargazer The Force That Drives Us

18th June 2016:
Wow. This was fantastic! I loved your portrayal of all the characters and how your plot foreshadows so nicely to the books. (I especially loved how you added the detail with prof. Slughorn and the fish hehe...)

Okay, so I could probably ramble on for a while on how reading this story brought a silly grin to my face, essentially made my day, and helped confirm that yes, I'm still hopelessly obsessed with this series, (after all this time?), but unfortunately, I lack your splendid writing skills and have a 6000 character limit, so I'll keep this brief.

Thank you for an absolutely delightful story. Though it's been years, this fanfiction brought me back to the magical days of my childhood. :)
Good luck, and *definitely* keep on writing!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a kind review!! Fan fiction did the exact same thing for me -- reminded me of how very much I love the world that JK created and gave me a chance to stay in it!!

Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning!
Jami


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Review #24, by mugglelover1977 Holding On To You

4th June 2016:
I thought the were going to the same wedding as the boy from Durmstrang! What a plot twist that would have been for one of Vernon's relatives to be a wizard!

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Review #25, by dannyman101 The Force That Drives Us

20th November 2015:
Absolutely great story and I can't wait to start reading the rest :-D Brilliant detail on everything including how they felt during different situations. Next part should be good :-)

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