I like that Ron's in a complete daydream - can we see more of this maybe a scene between him and Harry and between Harry and Hermione. You've skipped a few days since the last chapter so how did Hermione and Ron act in that time? Is Ron under the impression that they're going out just because she kissed him. Wouldn't he get quite a bit of stick once the story about that kiss get to his brothers.
It's all things you can write about and you can put mulitiple scenes in a chapter maybe Ron and Harry have a guy chat then they go downstairs where Ginny is. I want to see more of this world.
I like that Ron has a place to get away from it all - nice touch.
Do you want me to continue reviewing like this? I'm hooked but you seem to rush through at 50 miles and hour maybe you just want to get them to Australia I know I want them there. Take your time.
Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Hey Hats:)
Thank you for these reviews, they are really helpful and I'm glad you like the story.
So far, Chapter six is pending so after its uploaded I will go through each chapter and try and add more bits!
Thank you though, really apprieciated.
OK here we go - this is quite a long review so I hope you don't mind.
I've read all 5 chapters so far and I really like where you're going with this story. I like the fact that you have Hermione and Ginny having a girly chat you've captured their characters well. I'm glad Fred's funeral was a laugh it seems only fitting.
If I were writing this story - which I'm not so ignore me if you want - I'd write longer chapters, expand the scenes. Your scenes are well written but I start getting interested in what is happening and then the scene changes. For example two girls in a room are going to talk for hours Ginny isn't going to leave till someone interupts them. Particularly if there is a lot to talk about. I know you're focusing on the Ron Hermione relationship but Hermione might question Ginny about her and Harry. I assume from the second chapter that they are back together. What about the D.A how are those guys doing? You don't need tiny details but when I read you're story it's like watching a party through a crack in the door - great party but I haven't got a ticket so I can't see the whole picture.