Harry Potter Fanfiction – Read Over 85,000 Stories!

I LOVE IT AND I HATE GINNY NOW I WILL ALWAYS DISPISE HER TILL THE END OF THIS STORY :D

Author Response

Haha :) 
I love Ginny in some stories and I hate her in others. I love how many talented people there are out there and how they've moulded the characters into being something more than J.K made them

I love your stories I have most of them save in my favorite

Author Response

Thank you, that's amazing. What a great compliment to wake up to.

Loved this story! Amazing, detailed, and not the same old storyline!!!

Author Response

Thank you. I realise it's a little cliche but I appreciate you commenting/enjoying it.

Dear lord, this is a disaster! I'm on second last chapter, and I seriously can't continue! 
First of all, you portraited Weasley's and Harry like scum, which most certanly they are not. Ok, I thought, maybe you needed it so you could tell your story... but you didn't. Everything here is so confusing, I couldn't tell who is telling story at some points, you never put any kind of warning that scene changes or anything. Besides, it's so rushed, I felt I was going 100km/h all the time! Everything here is unrealistic, not even close to what could have happened. The only reason I'm even reviewing is so that if any reader, like myself, reads reviews before starting the story, could get my (experienced on many many Dramiones) opinion about this one. It's a disaster!

Author Response

You're right, this story is all over the place. Harry's not all bad, he gets better. You obviously don't like Dramione's that bash the Weasley's and that's totally fine. It is my choice on how I represent the characters. That is what fan fiction allows you to do. 

When you say unrealistic what are you referring to? Unrealistic in terms or what happened in the books? Unrealistic in your mind? Unrealistic for OOC characters? Please be more specific when ranting on a story. 

I'm now in the process of completely rewriting this story. When I first wrote it I was just starting out and I didn't have a good concept of grammar, punctuation spelling etc. Now I have more experience and have moved on to better things I can come back and successfully edit this entire story and make it 100 times better. 

People like you that review really grind at me. Yes everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I wouldn't want it any other way but if you are going to give a critique of something then do it justice.

Tell the author what you liked about the book. What needs to be changed/improved. Whoever you're critiquing on has spent a lot of time on what they've written and tearing someone down with pointless words like you have isn't good for anyone. 

I've been in multiple book clubs where people will review stories just like you have and in the end you get used to ignoring them. 

Thank you for taking the time to read all the way to the second to last chapter before declaring the story a disaster. I appreciate it.

Damn you! I have to wake up early tomorrow and your bloody 
storyline is so bloody good that I cannot stop. I keep on saying 
"One more chapter..."

You are putting me through immense pain yet I still love you 
for it. Damn you and your writing skills.

Author Response

Haha. I'm the same when I read a good story. 
Glad you've enjoyed the story so much :)

Y does Blaise call her cara?

Author Response

Blaise is Italian and 'Cara' is a word of enderment, meaning 'darling' or 'loved one'

You need to fix where Blaise and Katherine call Evvie Cara. Its kinda annoying. Oh yeah, and i like the story

Author Response

No I don't it's not a mistake in name, it's a use of an Italian phrase.

I want you to know that I only review and favourite my favourite stories and rarely do I find authors that have more then one that I deem re-readable and you have more then one! I think your stories are fantastic and I hope you keep writing.

Author Response

Awh thanks so much. As you can see from my current WIP 'Trouble' I've taken a substantial break from writing harry potter fanfics but don't worry, I plan on returning soon! :) so glad you have been enjoying my writing ~Zyii

wait why was Blaise calling her Cara and not Evvie?

Author Response

Cara is an Italian term used when referring to a dear one or a loved one.

Hey, I wanted you to know that all the reviews I posted were under Butterbeer but my name is actually butter_beer_junky2499. I didn't know I wasn't logged in when I posted all of them. Just in case you wanted to look me up later and so that I had a link to you and your story here as well. Take care and be blessed!

Author Response

Oh awesome stuff :) I have indeed looked you up, I now have some of your stories in my reading list waiting for me to read. I got some books for Christmas, so I'm banning myself from fanfiction until I've read the books :D 
~Zyii

Congratulations on ending a story! I know that it must be hard, how can it possibly be over?? But what a joy and sorrow it is, I am sure. I must say that finishing a novella of my own has never quite happened. Maybe some day, but the outlook is kind of doubtful. You did a splendid job writing this story, I am sorry if my reviews weren't helpful. I enjoyed spending a few nights of my own holiday vacation to read and once again be encouraged and find the mystery, intrigue, enthusiasm, flicker of life and hope and breath, and joy in reading a good ol' HPFFic. Be blessed! And a job well done :)

Author Response

I'm thankful for your reviews, I enjoy constructive critisism, and I'm happy that you stuck with the story till the end. 

I'm afraid my imagination for Dramione is running short but I'm sure to return soon. 

Thanks again!

~Zyii

I like that Draco is concerned with his eternity :) I always like to think he's amazing too

Author Response

Goodo, glad you think he's amazing too ~Zyii

I don't think I could have stayed awake. The sensory overload, overstimulation, stress, shock, change, after what he'd been through, I would have been comatose or had a psychotic break or something. I would have shaved his head and it would have taken much longer than a few good meals to fix his nutrition. Please know that I'm not trying to offend you, I'm just thinking what it would be like for me. I know it's your story and as far as this is concerned you are right, I don't meant to be so opinionated. I'm just caught up in the story and sharing everything. I really hope you don't mind ;) I feel like I should mention that the last few chapters have had many more grammatical errors/spelling mistakes than in the first several. I like the time you are taking to build emotion for this part of the story. I agree that it's important. He doesn't know that it's his daughter or wife yet, does he? I mean the reader can tell, even if it doesn't explicitly say. I'm pretty sure it's Evvie... That doctor was mean, SLEEP NOW lol. Wow, can you imagine going missing for 16 years. If being locked away and tortured for that long wasn't enough, add 16 years of all the things you missed. Enough to make anyone beyond depressed and hopeless. That healer is seriously a hot head though, horrible beside manner. Get her out of there! Right!?! Lol. I bet that was a fun bit to write. At least she got what she deserved but WHY was she supposed to stay away, you got me all suspicious now ;) Lol. I've been sitting here trying to remember exactly how the last chapter ended. How they wound up in the hospital and whether or not someone had took care of Marcus Boyle. I can't remember, you switched gears so fast, I got distracted immediately. Nice lol. Now I'm getting the notion that Draco took care of him. But I need to know lol. The thing is though with the whole memory retrieval thing, is that even though he might remember who he is, he hasn't worked through the assured PTSD, fears, depression, anxiety, and years of captivity and torture. He's got a ton more issues to deal with. But you recognize these things I think; his anger for example, you talk about that.  And there you have it :) Thanks for the summary!!

Author Response

That's alright I won't hold your opinions against you. I think whatever story you read, the further you get into it the more you form your own opinions of what you want to happen and how you feel it will happen, until your view becomes very changed from what the author was expressing. 

I apologise for the grammatical errors/spelling mistakes but as I mentioned previously this story had no beta and I am dyslexic so I do often make mistakes and not realise them.

I like to keep things mysterious and messed up. For me, when I read something, the more shrouded in darkness it is the more I enjoy it, so I guess that's why I write that way. 

He has the anger and the depression and he's been alone for the majority of those sixteen years but I didn't write him with PTSD in mind. 

~Zyii

So I like that you introduce her father in this chapter. It's really serious and somber. Greater than the DraMione purpose of the story, is rescuing him now. It is different though that you switch back and forth between him and her, like he knows what is happening with her or something. Maybe that really is what you were implying, Idk. I had hoped to see a more intimate relationship develop through this story, it took a long time to get together, and now that they are together, there's little character development... All connection with Blaise, and the others seems to be gone. She is no sight of Hermione in her past. It's sort of like you started the story, got to a certain point and sotpped, then came back to finish it, and did what you had to to get it done. It was stupid for her to go alone and I'd like to know how she figured everything out... I know that requires some crazy creativity, but I believe in your abilities. Ohhh so she actually wasn't alone but sort of... There was no one to watch her back, she might never be able to signal that she needs help. Rescued... The most interesting thing about the end of this chapter is that you call them "Children of the Light", I loved that expression :) Another great chapter!

Author Response

I guess there is an implied element of both Father and Daughter knowing what is going on with each other. 
All the other connections haven't gone, they've just taken a back seat as this part of the story comes to the front. 
Sometimes with my stories I start with the enitial plot and then it grows into more than one plot along the way. It's just a matter of making sure that all plot lines return to one at the end. 
It was also essential that Evvie go alone, no one believed her anyway, so it was part of her proving her worth but also finding the missing piece of her.
I understand that Evvie is very oc from Hermione, they are almost like two seperate people but I wanted to take Hermione from her comfort zone and thrust her into a situation that I knew would change her completely. 
Thanks for your review tho, means a lot.
~Zyii

Marcus Boyle's background is useful, thanks for including it. So did Katharine, Evvie's mom know all along that they'd have to give her up? Sorry I don't have more to say, must keep reading!!

Author Response

Thanks, no she didn't. 
She didn't know that Marcus would pose such a threat.
~Zyii

Why were their parents upset? They all "soberly" survived a werewolf attack. They should be panicked and then proud, not lecturing! OHHhhh HAHA the boys are the ones getting lectured for not manning up, nice lol :) I think Evvie overstepped her bounds in her response... Seemed a bit lacking in response and excessive in attitude, but that's just personal opinion. Maybe that is how you intended it to sound. It was really straight forward, but that would most likely have gotten me in trouble with my own parents, and especially with someone else's. Yayyy they are finally together :)

Author Response

They may have survived the werewolf attack but that shouldn't mean that their parents should be proud and not lecture them. Their parents have a right to be upset. 
Evvie is a unique person, her lack of punishement may not sit well with you but it is the way I crafted the character. It did not seem important to chastise her or punish her for her actions or attitude when I knew what would lie ahead for her. ~Zyii

Wow, so that's what's really going on, they are both crazy about each other but neither think they are good enough for the other. How to break the cycle!? Yikes a rival to Voldemort... I don't like it :( So the change from Marcus Boyle to Christmas was very very abrupt. If I may recommend a smoother transition here, that would be really great :) Ooohhh holiday parties + Firewhiskey, I can foresee some truthtelling ;) lol. You'd think a bunch of Vodly-War Veterans would be able to handle a silly werewolf... You'd hope anyways lol. Good job and she did beat the filthy animal. But what happens next?

Author Response

The transition from Marcus Boyle to Christmas is supposed to be abrupt, but I supposed I could have done it smoother. I guess there is the element of assuming that they'd be able to handle the werewolf but there is also an element of them having let their guard down since the death of Voldemort and perhaps not being as prepared as they should have been for an unforseen threat. ~Zyii

Parvati... Wench. So the input in the middle of the chapter, a sort of author's note within the chapter, was different. I'm not quite sure if it was awkward or okay. Just different. It's interesting for you to stop and write rhetorical questions and tell the reader where you are going to focus next. Interesting... I don't feel like much happened in this chapter but that's okay. On to the next :)

Author Response

Yeah this chapter was more of a filler chapter and an experiment more than anything else. I like to push myself into writing out of my comfort zone because I know it will improve my writing (: ~Zyii

What happened to the bookshop keeper!?!? Was there an investigation? So scary, like he was cursed from ever saying, probably by Marcus... Ah the mystery!! What? He packed up? Who's covering up the lie? And why? She's smart to wonder if he's not a whole lot closer than she would expect. He really could be right under her nose. Yikes! So while Ron gets punished nightly lol, Ginny's going to die if she doesn't consummate a marriage with a crazy person - KARMA lol. Wow Arthur seemed to figure that our rather quickly... So he knows about the potions... Did that happen to him? Apparently... I like the contemplation by Draco and then Luna at the end. I get the feeling that Luna and Harry are going to get together. Now I am going to bed lol :)

Author Response

Dun dun duh! The bookshop keeper's disappearence will be explained don't worry. 

Ahh Ginny's predicament, I laughed so much when I wrote that. What a perfect way to stop her meddling. With Arthur I think it was a case of knowing how much meddling his own wife was capable of and thus knowing that she probably passed her teaching onto Giny. 

You may well be right in that feeling but you'll have to read on to make sure.

Alright, goodnight, hope you sleep well :)

~Zyii

I was reading through some of your reviews as a sort of intermission on your story. I'm not as young as I once was. I started reading HPFF when I was 14, it's about 10 years later. I used to be able to stay up al night reading, but not any more. I only stay up all night on the rare occasion of a party or if I'm writing a paper (I'm in a double master's program now, just graduated with my bachelors). I don't have a lot of time for HPFF these days. Haven't had time to write in ages, or time to read in even longer. So it's a nice throw back, sort of Christmas vacation tradition. I chose your story, I love DraMione Mature Romances, and was looking for a completed novel/novella. Your story has been a joy to read! Lots of bits of funny, drama, anger, sadness, just a ton of good stuff in it. I look forward to the love and happiness that I pray is to come. This girl loves happy endings so I hope you won't leave me disappointed. I'm going to read this last chapter and then hopefully find time to finish it tomorrow, but we shall see - it's Christmas Eve and all. 

I didn't mention it before, but I really like this mysterious magical calling you have as an underlying theme in this story. I trust she's going to find her dad, complete her family, get her friends back (except for maybe Ginny and probably Ron), and get Draco :) This is my hope anyways!! Why doesn't she have a right to know about her dad?? Now I want to know why she was taken and what really happened during the raid... So is her dad still searching for her? Is he locked up in St. Mungos? So shouldn't her mother and brother be angry at her? Wouldn't part of them almost blame her for losing dad/husband, are they still in shock that they found her at all? So where is he? Was he kidnapped by the creeper? For whatever reason, the bookshop keeper made me think pirate hahaha :) Lol. Who is this mysterious guy who seems to know what she wants to know? And where's this Marcus Boyle? Creepy! And now I have to keep reading. But I am so tired!!! Lol. A reader's greatest predicament ;) Good job creating it in me lol.

Author Response

Wow, double master's? Good luck with that! :)

Thank you, I like to throw everything into my stories, sticking to one theme or one plot line is too boring for me. I promise you this story has a happy ending. 

I promise all your questions will be answered as the story continues, there are a lot of different story lines that will all converge at the end. Marcus Boyle will make an appearence don't worry. 

Hehe, well I'm happy that my story has made you want to read on but it will still be here if you go to bed - so don't fret :)

~Zyii

"Or you'll no longer be the boy-who-lived" - this line made me actually chuckle out loud. Very, very amusing :) Wooohooohooo LUNA! I never thought such emotional words would come from her mouth lol. I see people working on Harry, obviously he's going to turn. But it sounds like people are trying to blame Molly for slandering Evvie's reputation, when in reality, I think, it was originally all Ron! Their break-up is destroying him, which offends Ginny. And the natural little witch she is in this story, makes her extra likely to be super jealous. Harry is blind and weak following his friend in his breakup and like a lovesick puppy after Ginny the whore, and Molly just takes whatever her kids say for granted - and might be a little offended that the happy ever after never happened either. Sounds like a lot of people were really counting on everything being perfect after Voldemort's fall - which was totally unrealistic but dreams are dreams. I don't think Harry needs to necessarily break away from the Weasleys, but he does need to start fighting back, to make them see the light, nudge, hint, and if that doesn't start to work and make conversation, a clean break may be necessary. Oh that's right, Ron's a jerk in this story too ;) Forgot just how much so. Maybe he's not so hurt afterall... Glad you take the time to explain things, people like me like to know ;) Lol. Ron's money hungry? Really? You are Slytherin at heart my dear, this is the truth. The giraffe spitting on Ron made me laugh too :) That's a funny way to see that justice is served lol. Good job, like I keep saying, so creative, so imaginative, and a great writer!! (There are minor word misspellings, maybe one per chapter, and you are clearly not American, there are some foreign tendencies but I am not sure where, otherwise, seriously fantastic writing!!)

Author Response

I think Luna is way more than what J.K writes her as. I think people get lost in her weirdness that they fail to see how amazing she is (that's just my opinion). 

The blame on Molly comes from fourth year when she sent that really small easter egg to Hermione. I think Molly is fueled by others opinions. 

I know happy ever afters were totally unrealistic for after the war, but I think that's what most people would be looking for. For this story I felt it was necessary for Harry to break away from the Weasley's. They are the only real family that have remained through the years so it is only natural that he would pick up their mannerisms and start acting accordingly. You are right though, he does need to start fighting back. 

Though it seems a bit too simplistic my favourite colour is green so really it was always going to be Slytherin for me ;) 

I wanted to serve justice on Ron in a way that was unexpected, the giraffe bit came to me suddenly and there was no way I could not put it in. 

Apologies on the minor misspellings, this story wasn't proof read by anyone and I am dyslexic so sometimes I get things wrong.

~Zyii

Major breakdown, but I feel like you could have made this even more meaningful and expressive if you would have added body movements and facial expressions into your narration of this event. Very good dialog nevertheless. I'm almost interested with the way this is written if it would have been okay for Draco to say no under any circumstances. So how long til Draco comes around? Interesting bit about the lineage of Molly :) Funny too. How did Ginny know who everyone was? Even Ginny could see that Krum was crazy - really shows her true colors, doesn't it. Another super well written chapter!!

Author Response

I know, I felt that way too. I rewrote this chapter so many times and in the end I just gave up. I could have made it better but that also could have made it worse - does that make sense? 

Draco is getting there, he's mostly at war with himself, he projects what he feels others are thinking of him. 

Ginny works in a way of her own, I think she's more clever than anyone realises - and really she'd have to be with six brothers - it's just part of the mystery that she knows who everyone is.

~Zyii

wow that last chapter must have been twice as long as normal... Well done Fleur, teach Molly a thing or two, must be very brave! Huh. You really like to mix it up :) I enjoy that. Very creative! I still think realistically she would have been punished, instead she seems to have been sort of rewarded, like she's a special case... I like that you threw a bit of French in there, very nice touch. I feel like there's a touch or vibe of Twilight in this chapter, an implication of imprinting lol. Very cool. I have enjoyed the transitioning of this saga as well and seeing it come to completion. Pansy is cute in this chapter :) You are a good writer.

Author Response

Odinarily I think she would have been punished but for the sake of this storys plot line I left it out. 

I like Fleur more than Molly. I think Molly (for me) represents the overpowering woman that you hope to all that you won't be related to. 

Thank you very much for your continuing reviews, I'm so glad that you continue to enjoy the story. 

~Zyii

What happened to make her so emotional? What did Krum do? Was it just the shock of seeing him? The Gryffindors are so awful - how come she isn't doing anything? They just keep going and while Neville and Lavender try to stand up for her, one jibe and they fall down! What's Blaise doing just letting them dish it out? ATTACK!!! :) RIGHT?! Lol. That works too ;) Nice little punchline to end it and the teacher was sacked and rightfully so, she seriously could not contain her students! I like that you added some reflection into this chapter, what she's thinking, it was good for her to do and you to write. I liked it. Now to see if she gets in trouble. realistically she should, she sorta crossed a line with the cuts...

Author Response

It was partly the shock of seeing him, and partly stuff that will be revealed later. 

She isn't doing anything because she can't be bothered to lower herself to their level. All their taunting does is show how pathetic they are. 

~Zyii

I'm honestly mildly confused as to why the Daily Prophet would report ordinary mundane happenings at Hogwarts - I think this part of the story either needs to be fully developed or scrapped. You could make it into something very cool - I encourage you to expand for sure. Great insight about her position! What is a familiar? Is that another name for a pet? So now she has a kneazle (?) and an owl k... Very funny that they were all so concerned with keeping her safe and then let her dodge them in an uneventful situation. I could see if something crazy happened, but wow, absentminded much lol? How did he recognize her, was her picture in the paper? What's he gonna do? Rape her? Why is he not calling her Evvie? I'm scared for her!! I think you could have developed this event more - some dialogue, get everyone more involved, develop the characters a bit more. Go for it!! Well done otherwise :)

Author Response

This chapter I have to admit was more of a filler in between some heavier stuff. 

A familiar is another name for a pet. 

He recognised her from her mannerisms and gossip that was travelling around. 

I admit I might have had some writers block in this chapter. I just went back and reread it. It could use some padding out, I wish I had enough time to do that! I'll get round to it I'm sure.

~Zyii

Reviews (150 found)

JOIN HARRY POTTER FANFICTION