This is a piece of art!

 Report Review

Is it called *Run* because they eat at a bad fast food place with GMO in it and have to *run* to clean it out?

 Report Review

Great story! I just recently discovered fan fiction, and I LOVE it. Your story is great. I think Colin Creevy will win.
Am I right?
I guess I shall see.
I'm really enjoying your story.

 Report Review

Amazing! I'm so addicted to this.

Gotta run to the next one

 Report Review

I've been so engrossed in the story that I couldn't even review. I favourited it though.

First of all, I can't believe people actually plagiarize stories. I mean I know it happens, but to do it from a story that's actually not profit-oriented or is not earning anything at all? That's plain cheap. I dunno how you detect them though. But go you! Go after them!

When I started reading this story, there was this immense amount of respect that was just born out of nowhere. I started writing recently and you're my hero!

Seriously... I haven't looked away from the story until either my boss called or I fell asleep. I even read your story while on dates.

Pathetic, I know. But that's how god this is!

I see you've won a lot of awards as deserved. I didn't see any mistakes. The way you write is truly amazing! You know how to build suspense without confusion and to bring in tragedy with happiness. You don't sugar coat and you don't overdo anything. You grammar, vocabulary and sentence construction are amazing!

I don't know if you still write but I seriously hope you do. You deserve to win much more Dobbys!

Love
xx

 Report Review

Truly the most perfect story I've ever read. All the pieces fit together so perfectly, like hand-crafted furniture. This will stay with me for a long time. Thank you.

 Report Review

I loved this story. I really liked the ending with how no one is gone forever it was a really nice twist!

 Report Review

I loved the story! It was very original, and you are truly a gifted writer. You captured the characters' personalities very well. If I could give you one tip: sometimes when I was reading, I couldn't picture the surroundings and I couldn't completely understand what was going on. I don't know if this was intentional, but I if it wasn't, I would advise you to elaborate on the surroundings and the actions. But all in all, this is truly one of the best fanfictions I have ever read.

 Report Review

Thank you. This was fantastic.

 Report Review

This was very good! I'm a bit confused about what the clock was exactly though

 Report Review

Ok so you can't do this to me, like seriously, this chapter is even better than the previous one! I'm practically a pile of mush right now absolutely in love with this story and your story telling abilities and its only chapter two! I know that you apologize for the repetitiveness of this chapter, but honestly this chapter didn't seem repetitive to me at all! I mean yeah we had to explain that Remus and Tonks are dead like we had to with Fred and Colin but honestly if you didnt, it wouldn't be realistic at all! Besides that, you did it in a completely different way then with Fred and Colin.

I loved that we got to see Crabbe in this chapter as well because in the first chapter it made me believe that Cliodna's Clock was a place for those on the light side and that the Grotta was a place for those on the dark, but clearly that's not the case if Crabbe is destined to go to Cliodna's Clock. And I loved the fact that you mentioned his burn marks but yet at the time of them noticing his marks, they were already disappearing before his eyes. It also helped us as readers know at what point during the war we are at. Another amazing detail that you added into this chapter, is the fact that Remus disappears and comes back a while later explaining that Harry needed him. I love the concept that while they visit the real world, they disappear from the afterlife so its not like they are in two places either.

I also loved that we changed out the attendant as well. It was really fun to see someone who looked very young and the way that she handled the newcomers as well. Plus she was also a great way to explain stuff to your readers which you took full advantage of and continued to give us information to understand the world that you have created for an afterlife. Its sad to think that they are still "alive" so to speak but yet there is this race coming up in which the loser will cease to exist and no longer have an afterlife to really be alive in any more. It's a very interesting concept and it really made me think a lot and continued to pull my interest into this story and wonder what exactly this race is going to be like and who is going to enter and what will happen during it.

This story is set up so brilliantly and even though I've only read the first two chapters, I have found myself already beginning to wonder more about this story and what journey it will take me on. You've set this story up so well and have already given your readers a lot of information without overwhelming us as well as there still being a lot that we don't know about. Basically what I'm trying to say is that you've given us enough information to wet our appetite for this story and have managed to at least hooked me into wanting to find out more about this afterlife and what this is going to mean for some of my favorite characters that you are breathing life into once more. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

 Report Review

This is fantastic! How did you ever come up with an idea such as this? Seriously, what a beautiful concept!

I think it's a little sad that Cedric wishes for his two friends to come to him so quickly, knowing that would mean they would be dead. But, then again, I can see his perspective of loneliness and boredom. Poor kid. Though, I love the detail oriented around the entire chapter!

Miss Trelawny was a real treat, seeing as how she could still possess her powers even in the afterlife. And Godric Gryffindor flirting with Rowena Ravenclaw, stamping on her garden as he does so, just adds so much character to this little village. It's haunting, but yet peaceful all the same. Cedric thinking about the Quidditch games makes me laugh, and him frantically putting a fence around Rowena's garden was perfect!

The station attendant should think of doing his job a little more nicely. These people just died! They're confused! They have no idea how many times he goes through this speech! Though it really adds to his character and believably. He has gone over this a hundred and one times. He knows all the common questions. He has to do it a hundred and one more times. Poor guy. Must be no fun to be the death informant. No wonder h takes a little pleasure out of it.

I like to picture the Grotta as a type of hell for the bad witches and wizards, and the Cliodna's Clock as, not exactly a heaven, but a peaceful resting place for the 'good'.

This was really well written! And I love the concept. I'm super excited to read more! Great job!

 Report Review

So I'm really sad as I had a pretty decent review written out and then my phone froze and reloaded the page only for my review to completely disappear! Oh well, I'm back and I pretty much remember exactly what I said.

First off, I want to congratulate you on having your story featured as the first book club story! I'm super excited to use this story as its one that I've been meaning to read for years but for some reason never had. But thankfully I'm here now and will get to experience this story for the first time!

I really enjoyed this first chapter. I thought that it was very well written and that you did a great job with your opening chapter! You gave us readers plenty of information without overwhelming us with it and already began evoking questions in me about this story. I'm really curious about this "island" of sorts that these characters are on for their afterlife. What is it really and what is going on there?

The characters are all really awesome. I love that we started off the story with Cedric after he has already gotten accustomed to being in the afterlife and then also bringing in the fact that Cassandra Trelawney still gets prophecies in the afterlife. I think that that is a really cool detail that I had never thought of before but now that you have brought the idea to my attention I wonder why I hadn't thought of it before because its a very smart and interesting concept. But then to move on from Cedric to Fred and Colin was also a really good idea. I loved seeing them and their confusion to the afterlife and the fact that they are actually dead. I love that Fred kinda joked about it only to find out that its real. It just really brought out his character to me.

Then the amount of description and detail that you put into this opening chapter is also really wonderful. From the fact that prophecies still exist in the afterlife to the mention of Colin's brother Dennis dying in 20 years, the crows call being an indicator for how many years a person has lived on Earth, it was just all really well thought out and it just really added a depth to your story and really makes the readers understand the amount of work that went into this!

I don't have a single negative thing to say about this chapter. It was really well done and a great beginning to your story. I'm very much interested in finding out more about this world that you are painting for us! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

 Report Review

Hey there! Second chapter in, and I really love this story! I'm sorry if I won't be able to review every chapter and that my reviews will probably be really short and terrible as I never have any free time, but hey ho. :P

This chapter brought me so close to tears! I love Ronks so much and you wrote them so perfectly! Tonks was amazing with the way she wanted Remus to be alive so someone would care for Teddy, as you could really sense her pain and grief for losing him, but them there was that selfish bit to her too which wanted to keep him here. They were still so love and just knew each other so well it was perfect! ♥

I really liked how you included that bit about him being called back to life by Harry too and that's why he disappeared as that was cool.

Bless Remus with the way he still had it in his heart to be kind to Crabbe and feel sorry that he was here despite the fact Crabbe was always vile and they were fighting against one another. It just shows what a good person he is.

A fab chapter! ♥

 Report Review

Wow, I'm so glad I found your story, because it is so original and amazing. I can't wait to read more.

 Report Review

*exhales*

THAT PLOTTING, THOUGH. Wow. The rarest of all gifts in the world of writers, you crafted an addictive and elegant plot that spiralled in on itself, all loose ends not tied up so much as woven together. The whole story seems seamless, all twists and turns shocking and yet they felt inevitable at the same time- as if of course the story could end no other way.

The concept of Cliodna's Clock and the races, while borrowing various elements from other stories, when put together were extremely original. The themes of the story- overcoming fear of death, dualities (such as opposite and doppelgangers), mother's sacrifices- they were all so connected with the original Potter series that though the third person omniscient style was much different, I feel that JKR herself would approve of how you continued her major themes. I also enjoyed the fleshing out of minor characters, none of which seemed to stand out as obvious OCs.

I adore that you allowed the strongest relationships in the story to be between those characters which never (until the end) were able to interact- the residents of Cliodna's Clock and their living loved ones. You get the sense of tension between James and Lily, both of whom ultimately want what's best for Harry, even though they hardly know him. I think the most devastating part of the story for me emotionally was seeing how the power of Lily's motherly love for Harry was driving her to the kind of self-destruction that Voldemort paralleled on earth. While he tore apart his soul trying to avoid death, instead getting ever closer to it, she risks death over and over, ending up with more time alive on earth than anyone else in the Clock. As heartbreaking as Harry's grief for the parents he never knew is, it's fascinating to see it from the other side- the parents who are horrifyingly unable to protect their baby and who know that their only chance to see him again is when he dies, and imagining the terrible double-bind of that- wanting your son to die so that *you* can see him again...it's really no wonder that Lily was falling to pieces.

You crafted a great mystery, and the action sequences were vivid and clear, easy enough to follow but definitely worthy of a movie screen. It's so hard to *write* an action or fight scene. Great job on those. My favourite duel was the first one because I loved trying to figure out who was who just from their behaviour.

And Fred and George's characterizations were pitch-perfect. You really picked up on the subtle differences between them in canon, like Fred being more foolhardy and reckless, while George is a little more caring and worried about others. Of COURSE Fred would be the one to impulsively enter the races and George would be the one to knowingly risk getting stuck in the afterlife so that Fred could have another year on earth.

Anyways, terrific job. I need to read everything you write! Please consider continuing on in original fiction in the mystery/suspense/adventure genre. There's not enough plotters like you out there.

 Report Review

Another great chapter! Loved the introduction of new characters, especially Lily and James and Regulus and Dobby and all the rest. Can't wait to see what ensues between Lily and Snape and am really hoping to read more about Regulus and Dilys. Those two really intrigue me for some reason. Really good job, loved learning more about the races and both The Grotta and Cliodna's Clock. Can't wait to read more, such good writing :)

 Report Review

I really enjoyed this chapter! Not redundant at all, because I think the relationship between Tonks and Remus has been really cutely and well written, so good job. Really looking forward to seeing what will happen to Crabbe and what the story is with this changing station attendant, if there is a story. Really good chapter lengths by the way. Not too short, not too long. Such good writing, loving this a lot :)

 Report Review

Yay!! I found this story again! I originally found it ages ago and then I lost it but I found it again and I am so happy that I did because it sounds amazing and I think about it a lot ... This story is so awesome. I love your description and your writing style, it is really really good. Love the banner, and can't wait to read more.

 Report Review

Aha! Some more information on the races! Gosh, imagine that...dying after death...ouch.

I'm glad Crabbe gets to go the Cliodna's Clock. It shows he wasn't truly evil (if my guesses about the Grotta are right) and just followed what everyone else did. Or maybe there's a rule about under-18s or something?

"Don't make any friends." Ooh...

-Karou

 Report Review

Hi there!

This is a great start. You've got me intrigued - I wonder what the races are, and who Cliodna is/was, and what the Grotta is (I'm guessing it's the bad place?) How long has Cliodna's Clock been around, anyway?

The descriptions are brilliant. I especially like the part about Rowena's roses, and the bit with Godric's cat made me laugh.

The premise of this story is so sad - and when the attendant thought Fred was George...oh dear. It's good to know, I suppose, that Dennis will live a lot longer than Colin. But 36 is still really young! :(

Let's go find out what the races are.

-Karou

 Report Review

Wow, I can't believe that this is the end! Five days of desperate reading, laughing, squeeling and frankly bawling my eyes out and I've finally finished reading this borderline masterpiece!
I don't even know where to begin; everything about this was semi-genius. The descriptions, the originality, the insane amount of detail and the ridiculously accurate characterisation. I dont have enough words on here to give you the review that I want so I'm just gonna list everything that I loved
Regulus Black and the way that he is so much like his brother (only a thousand times better because of his stellar slytherin charm), Snape's apology, the founders' love triangle, Crabbe's reaction when he lost the duel and confronted Slytherin (I can't believe that made me cry), Tonks' sacrifice, the hilarious moment when Fred tried to hit on Lily, Quidbumps (wouldn't want to play it personally but it'd be very fun to watch), the Weasley clock scene, George and Fred's switch and the greasy-haired git reference, the Narcissa and Teddy scene and everybody's escape to Witchery. There's so much more but really I loved it all! I hope Cedric finds love in Witchery and invests in buying better underpants in the future as well, he's just a really top guy!
Phenomenal read and well worth the time it took to do so! Sticking with the theme of immortality, this will be an eternal hpff favourite of mine, congratulations on being the incredibly talented author that you are and thankyou thankyou thankyou for writing this and particularly for giving Fred and the marauders a happy ending!
Olivia

 Report Review

I posted the last few comments and have since begun exploring this site and reading more on it - mostly due to how this story piqued my interest. The story is great. Out of all the combinations of different ideas, this is one of the better executed and original ones I've read in HP fandom. So even with all my quibbles this story is asuredly (I had to misspell that and drop an 's' because of a content filter? REALLY?) provocative.

BUT, as you gave a reply which I can't reply to: my interpretation of Severus Snape is not happier or relaxed or anything like that. If anything, I think that by the time he died, he had long stopped loving Lily as anything more than an abstract concept and was perfectly aware of that. He knew that she wouldn't ever care for him the way he cared for her, and that he stopped caring about anything a long time prior. Including about her as anything more than a symbol for what his life could have been.

Perhaps darker, he'd already accept that his life was a complete negative influence on the world, and no matter how hard he worked to fix that it was an exercise in futility. His emotions in canon are always very basic ones on a psychological level (pain / hurt / pleasure, and the closest to a pure secondary one is anger - usually as an extension of a primary hurt), he shuts out the complicated ones completely.

I could expand upon this greatly and give a lot of reasoning, and in my head, Snape would be the first to admit that if there was an afterlife, there would be nothing for him there. Perhaps even going so far as seeing at death as the only way the war could end remotely well for him (relatively speaking).

The conclusion to this would be that he'd look to purposefully die in the afterlife and that his fervent hope was that there wasn't one in (at least) the year before he died. I don't think he'd be in a place to be able to have civilized discourse with James in the area... and quite possibly with Lily - whether it was his fault or not, she was an integral part of setting him down a very dark path, and one look at her would be enough to shatter whatever fantasies he'd been clinging to in order to survive to the end.

He'd just say "I'm sorry", and walk away, knowing full well that he won't be forgiven no matter what - even if such a possibility existed and that was completely too dark a line of thought. Once he'd be able to start healing, he would never forgive her for the damage she did (unless she did sleep with him, guys *can* be coaxed beyond 'stubborn' with feminine tools). And as for what he chose to do in the second round is absurd. He put his weakness on a soft target. The man went through two wars - even if he was an utter moron, he should have known better.

Oh, and quite possibly, he'd look to hurt Dumbledore. Not prank, not shout at, not argue, not guilt - that's the one person he'd probably think genuinely deserves to suffer and not an iota of comfort... and that would probably be as close to friendship as he'd get with anyone he ever knew. For a few years at least (he exhibits way too many symptoms of PTSD for any different outcome - he exhibited some milder ones at age 9 for crying out loud). Either that, or look forward to something cheerful like substance abuse.

Again, my interpretation of canon Snape is quite possibly darker than most.

As for Regulus - he was a year younger than Snape, with twenty years to lead a normal life in which he could have emotional growth (if anything, he'd be far more emotionally mature). Pranking seems unlikely, but that's your interpretation, so fair enough.

Other than that, I have a few nitpicks here and there, but this story is excellent, and very well written. I'm already nearing 4000 characters and need to find out how to continue send a message in some form (ahh, to be a noob again), if you would be willing to delve into deeper discussion (or ask me what I based that block of text on, which is an ultra bare-bones version).

Author's Response: Hi! I definitely welcome a Snape discussion, and I like that you brought all your passion to the table. I think that we view him so differently that we'll probably never agree on our interpretations.

I'll start with what you mentioned about Regulus. If Regulus were still alive on earth, I agree that he would have been more mature. But he's not alive. The thing about Cliodna's Clock is that it is a very small and unsatisfying place to exist. None of the residents have a real purpose. They can't leave the island. With the exception of the tournament, every day is exactly the same. They're stir-crazy, and that's why the insane notion of volunteering as a Grotta guard is even a thing. They're that desperate for a change in the monotony.

There's very little to do and that can have adverse effects on people - especially coupled with the temptation to stay forever young because they don't have to age here. Regulus came to Cliodna's Clock as a Death Eater. I imagine he would have overcompensated in trying to be likable, because he would be surrounded by those who hated Death Eaters. Somewhere during that period of gung-ho overcompensation, I envision him as getting stuck in arrested development. It's like how Sirius had some issues after he got out of Azkaban because he'd undergone so much trauma and his maturity was stunted. A man who'd lived out an ordinary life wouldn't have been as reckless as Sirius was. I gave some of Sirius's qualities to Regulus partially because they're brothers. Both of them are pretty messed up. I don't think they'll be able to grow until they find a way off the island.

I have noticed in your reviews that you have a tendency to be very blunt. Sharing your opinions is great, but you might want to watch how you word your criticisms. I finished Run two years ago, so I'm not going to go back and change round two. Everything that happened in that round, happened because I was playing God and I dictated it. When you say that his actions were 'absurd', based on your own personal feelings about Snape's characterization, remember that your opinion is subjective and criticisms of that nature are not constructive. And when you sign your name as "Ugh..." in a review, there is someone on the other side of the screen who has to read that. I spent a great deal of time and energy on this story. You might have written some of the elements differently, but keep in mind that we all have differing views of these characters. NONE of us are exactly spot-on, with the exception of JKR. Telling me that I wrote Snape "wrong" and confidently asserting what he would and wouldn't do, when neither of us know for sure what he would do since we're not JKR, isn't constructive. As fans, all we can do is guess.

Some writers have thicker skins than others. Luckily I can take a bullet to my story and I'll be okay with it. But please keep in mind that for some of us, posting stories for others to see is a vulnerable thing. Negative review can really ruin an author's day and perhaps their outlook on their story. I've seen authors on HPFF completely give up on a novel because they received a review that wasn't necessarily a flame, but did make them feel like they shouldn't bother posting anything unless it pleases absolutely everyone. Which is impossible. If I were on the receiving end of some of the more nitpick-y ones, I would be really disheartened. This is fanfiction. We're all amateurs. The way you phrase your opinions is important; focus more on what you like than what bothers you and remember that your words carry weight.

Anyway, thank you for reading Run and for your review, and I hope that if you haven't already, you write a Snape novel. All of my fanfiction exists because I couldn't find versions of characters on the archive that I wholly agreed with. If you're having difficulty finding a Snape you can really get on board with, definitely try your hand at that.

 Report Review

After all the build-up: Snape just loses in the second round, walks around and sulks, gets pranked by the cool young kids (one was a year younger than him), and this is his grand resolution? No chat with Lily, no reckoning with James... he gets some pity and a lame joke to cheer him up?

Author's Response: That's a pretty dark way of viewing things. Snape DID chat with Lily and he DID get a reckoning with James. He got that a couple of chapters ago. Did he end up getting the girl? No. Because Lily loved James. That's canon. I can give him some semblance of a resolution without completely altering his relationship with Lily as well as his character. Keep in mind that Snape has only been dead for two months. This is a man who is fiercely stuck in his ways. He loved a girl when he was a kid and even though she married someone else, even though she died - he STILL remained attached to her for sixteen years. He has some deep-seated issues that won't be resolved within a novel that takes place over a span of two months. I could have decided to make him grin and bear it and turn into a happy-go-lucky guy, but that would not have been doing justice to his character. It's not Snape. It's an idealized version of Snape.

The best I could give him was a push in the right direction, in the direction of healing. Snape's happiness must happen once the curtain has closed, and it's going to take a long time to develop. He loved Lily for so long that it's all he knows how to do anymore, and now he's faced with the fact that he'll never get her. He has to move on. Throughout this novel I drew comparisons between Salazar and Snape, Godric and James, and Rowena and Lily. That's not a coincidence. I designed Rowena specifically for Severus. She wants a man who's complex, who's both dark and light. Godric and Salazar are one and the other, but Severus embodies both. Please do not underestimate exactly how far I have pushed Severus's character by lessening his fixation on Lily, apologizing to James, learning to let go, and enjoying Rowena's company. Those may seem like tiny steps to you but if you understand Severus you must understand that for him, those are BIG STEPS.

Yes, Snape loses in the second round. His motivation for being in the duel is gone because Lily was out in the first round. He did some of the cleverest maneuvering in round 2, but he got knocked out anyway because of karma. I love Severus but he was arrogant. I find it kind of insulting that you imply I made him "stupid" just because he didn't win. I wanted to knock him out of the tournament because I had other things planned for him on the sidelines. How can he grow, and how can he heal, if he's fighting for his life? I needed for him to move on. If he passed the second round and made it to the end, he would either 1.) Die 2.) Go back to earth for 24 hours, where he has no one and nobody likes him. Sometimes you can be the cleverest person in the room and you still get foiled because you can only control your own actions. You can't control other people's, so the situation is always up in the air.

And yeah, he got pranked by the cool young kids. Because they're kids and kids are mean and that's what they do.

You seem to be really hyper-focused on Snape's parts in this story. I find it odd that I would have to justify keeping to Severus's canon characteristics to someone who seems to really likes Severus. Ultimately I went with my gut and wrote him the way I think he would continue to exist post-mortem. He doesn't "deserve" for wonderful things to fall into his lap just because he loved Lily Potter. More than that has to redeem him, and he has to learn to be a better person. That in itself will be a decades-long journey. I don't like the rosy "happily-ever-after" Severus. I like Severus as JKR made him - gritty, ethically ambiguous, sometimes terrible even if we sympathize with him. This is the same man who tormented Neville Longbottom every chance he got simply because Neville EXISTED and hadn't been killed in the stead of Harry Potter. And that's canon.

Thanks for reading.

 Report Review

Am I the only one who finds picking on the lonely and the feeble to be horrible things done by horrible people?

I hate Fred so much in this story. I know him and George were the only two people JKR dubbed as "cruel" (even Snape was "somewhat cruel" in her words), but this is just one step above torturing pets.

 Report Review