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Reviews (9 found)

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Very well written and entertaining so far!

Author Response

Please continue this one it's shaping up to be one of the better stories i have read here.

Author Response

Thank you... this one has sort of gone on the backburner with the opus that has become my other two stories. (plus all the life stuff that gets in the way) But I certainly have plans of continuing it as I was really enjoying writing it.

i think you accidentally said 'Dr Watson' instead of 'Dr Weasley' some time throughout this chapter :)

Author Response

I'm sure it's true, I'll have to go check it out, thanks. I own every SH story and every year I reread them, one of my favorite series. So I've recently reread them and that's where this whole cockamammy story idea comes from. I've definitely read them more often and recently than HP so mistakes like Watson and even calling Harry Holmes is a big possibility in future chapters as well. Good looking out :)

I sent my extended thoughts via forums. But I'm sure a little review here can't hurt. 

It was a really good chapter, descriptions were more plentiful and more vivid. Lots of new information to process but you're shaping the story up beautifully, I did noticed the timeline and had some troubles fitting the story about them, but nothing too major. 

Very excited to see what Harry digs up from all his sleuthing next time around.

Author Response

Might be awhile on this one, CoW needs a lot of attention right now. See you in the forums.

There we go, with the eating scene in Leaky Caldron that's a little more Ron-like behavior. (Actually.. Do you call it a scene if it's in written format?) Moving along, I see that you have included at least some of "A Scandal in Bohemia." in the story, obviously some parts differ because of the merging of the two worlds, and it's quite plain that in Doyle's story Miss Adler did not jump onto a broomstick for a quick getaway, nor has Watson married Mary, considering that Luna has taken her place. But you've included the King of Bohemia (I'm not even going to attempt his whole name.) 

So I'm assuming that in this story that 'the Quibbler' is more of just an average small time newspaper, rather than the one in JK's stories when it was basically a joke paper, which main articles included imaginary creatures like wacklespurts or whatever they where called. I know that Ron referred to the Quibbler as 'garage papers' in Chapter 1, but Harry seemed to think it was a respectable enough source. Plus I've noticed in both of your stories that Luna is a lot less dreamy, so I guessed that it probably follows the same trend. 

Also in Chapter 1, you refer to Luna's father as John Lovegood. 

(Well, it’s of a sensitive nature. Which is why my father, John Lovegood,)

Then in Chapter 2 it's back to cannon with Xenophilius Lovegood.

(We were led up the two short flights of stairs and down a long hall to an office bearing the name Xenophilius Lovegood, Owner and Operations.)

I really liked when Harry pointed out the patterns in the dust, prime example of Holmes at his best there. As Holmes says to Watson in A Scandal in Bohemia "You see, but you do not observe." But honestly who isn't guilty of that? I mean I certainly never counted how many steps where in my staircase, well.. not until after I read that. 

Like the other reviewer, I thought immediately of Voldemort, when I first read about the Dark Mark scorched into the side of the building. Although I highly doubt that it was Moriarty's hand that actually did it, he is above common crimes like stealing and breaking and entering, more fitting crimes like treason and sedition. I would think that it was probably one of his followers who left the mark, they're called Slytherin's instead of Death Eater's in this story right? 

Basically no errors, all in all (to me) it was nothing short of perfect. 10/10 as usual. I can't really think of anything else to say than looking forward to the next one, I know it's pretty cliche but it will have to do.

Well hope that was a decent enough review, should get round to doing some more soon.

Author Response

If this story goes well, I plan on having two sequels, one that goes back to the case where he meets Hermione and one where he first meets Voldemort. They will have aspects of the real stories, but mostly will be fitting the new timeline I'm creating, (so Ron as Watson hadn't met Luna as Mary yet. Plus I'm setting it up as Voldemort being their first ever case together which is obviously different from the series as Study in Scarlet was the first.)

The quibbler is very much looked down upon as silly and useless by Ron and everyone else, but Harry as Sherlock would know that in everything there is something useful to be gathered so I don't think he would write them off. But no, it's not so much about imaginary animals and things, more like conspiracy theories and the like, they take real stories and have very complex stories citing outrageous claims. As for Luna, I think in RoM I had her more dreamy when she was still hiding her power from everyone, and I explained it away as her using that to keep people from suspecting. Once she was able to reveal her secret, she became less dreamy. In this one, she's still going to believe the improbable and she's still not going to be an ordinary girl (no powers just weird) she's just a bit more down to earth which is the Mary influence. 

Thanks for pointing out the disparity, I had changed Mr. Lovegood's name in the second chapter but forgot to go back and do it in the first, I just went and fixed it so whenever that gets back through the queue.

I'm trying very hard to keep Harry himself but add in the brilliance of Holmes. I think once some action starts, we'll see more of the Harry influence.

I don't know who left the mark yet, if it was him or someone working with him, but the thief is Hermione. His followers will be Slytherins, Death Eaters are going to be the former enemies from the war. (Watson was fresh from serving in the war when he met Holmes, so I had to include that in there somewhere and that gave me the opportunity to add in the DEs. But Voldemort didn't lead them in this story, he simply wants to collect the remaining ones and bring them together under him and the Serpent's Doctrine. That's where the difference comes in.)

I'm about halfway through the next chapter but I'm having trouble with the scene (yes scene) between Harry and James. I know the relationship between Holmes and Mycroft is sort of love/hate and competition. I'm trying to push through, but I think I feel kind of burnt out on HP which could be part of the problem. I've been working on my real novel a lot more because it has nothing to do with HP. I mean I have both stories and I'm trying to fix RoM it's like HP all the time and my brain feels bored everytime I open one of them to work on. Even CoW which is actually in an exciting place right now. So the next few might be a bit slower getting put up, I'm still plugging away on them though.

Thanks for liking this story, i wasn't sure many people would. I know because of the movies a lot of people have become SH fans without ever reading one of the stories, so I'm glad that people who have read them are being supportive. See you in the forums.

it feels wierd to read a harry Potter story and have it sound like I'm readin sherlock holmes. But I like it! So voldemort put the mark on the wall rihgt? Is he going to look like himself all snakey? How is he going to be a professor?  I can't wait to find out what you do wiht this. good job!

Author Response

We learn a bit more about Voldemort in the next chapter. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about his appearance yet, but I think it should be fairly easy to set him up as a former Professor. Thank you for your support with this story, I truly appreciate it.

Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes are my two favourite worlds and when I saw this I was so excited to read your first chapter. I though it was a very good opening chapter because most opening chapters are quite dull and boring. The idea of Ron as Watson is awesome to think about and I'm just imagining what Ron would do in some of the Holmes episodes. Oh yeah, and Harry as Sherlock is perfect. Can't wait to read more.

Author Response

Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you like the idea of this story, because I have been obsessed with Sherlock Holmes for as long as I can remember. Mystery has always been my favorite genre. Ron will definitely be a hybrid mixture of himself and Watson, as I think several parallels can be drawn for both. The next chapter has posted and I look forward to hearing more of your opinion. Thank you for giving this story a chance!

I love sherlock holmes! But I don't remember who langdale pike is. I think this is a great strt but I haev trouble believing ron is a doctor. :) Cant wait for moer.

Author Response

Langdale Pike was a newspaper reporter in one of the stories, The Adventure of the Three Gables. Watson refers to the papers he writes for as garbage papers, just like Ron describes Rita Skeeter. He wasn't like a major character in the series or anything, but knowing I'll be needing Rita later, i figured Pike was closest to her of all the SH characters.  

Ron being a doctor is far fetched, if you are only going off HP cannon. But this is a hybrid of the two worlds and so while he'll retain most of his Ronness, he will also have a bit more sophistication and a little of Watson's background. After all, when Holmes and Watson first meet, they are still young men and Watson is fresh from war, a very capable and in shape young man despite portrayals of him as an elderly fat man. Thanks for reading, hope I answered some of your questions!

Character choices are interesting, Ron playing Watson, it's an completely absurd thought but yet that makes it all the more intriguing. I wonder who's personality will come out out the dominate, will Watson add a certain sophistication to Ron's character, or how will Ron's own lackadaisical personality affect the character of Watson, I wonder. 

I was 99% sure that you would have Harry as Holmes, but it still strikes me as odd when Ron refers to him as Potter, I know that's the fashion that the Sherlock Holmes stories are written in, but I can't help but to be reminded of the drawling snarl of Snape or the tone of absolutely loathing used by Draco Malfoy. 

I'm looking forward to seeing the sheer genius of Sherlock Holmes acting through Harry, and the involvement of Hermione as Irene (or as Holmes refers to her 'the woman'), that should be fascinating. A Scandal in Bohemia was one of my favorite Sherlock Holmes stories, and it will be great to see your interpretation on the relationship. 

I loved how quickly Ron's opinion on The Quibbler changed when Luna entered, of course that had to be nothing more than a coincidence, absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she was attractive :P, and also the way Harry refers to eminent danger as 'exciting!' It's something I can definitely imagine Holmes saying in one of Sir Arthur Doyle's stories.

One little thing bothers me, I would have had Goyle as Bradstreet just because they have a similar physical build-up both being tall and stout, where as Crabbe would be considered short and stout, and to me Crabbe would have a better Inspector Hopkins. I don't know if you would agree, but I thought it might be worth me pointing it out. 

All in all, It was fantastic. The descriptions when used were effective, story was amazing and the characters were captured to complete perfection. 

It will take a while for me, to get my head around Ron sipping tea instead of acting like the gorb he usually is when at the dinnertable, as well as acting maturely and generally being quite an elegant person that Watson is. But I'll get used to it.

(Just a last second thought, shouldn't it be Ronald or Ronald Bilius instead of just Ron to keep to the formality of the story?)  

- Sorry for the delay on the review. Life's caught up with me, been busy catching up with friends and stuff that have come back from various holidays. Talk to you more later anyway. 

FYI - *Gorb* Irish colloquial word meaning to eat ravenously or messily.

Author Response

I think in this story, Ron will be a mixture of himself and Watson. Currently it's more Watson, I admit, but as the story progresses, more of the Ronness will come out. 

I felt awkward when I was writing, having Harry be called by his last name. But like you said, it was how it was in the SH style and that's the style I'm aiming for. SO I must do what I must do.

As to the inspectors, I intended it to be that way and didn't realize until you pointed it out that I mixed them up. An easy edit. Thanks for that, I would have totally missed it. 

As for Ron's, lack of gorb-like behavior, he was only drinking tea in this chapter. In the next they stop for lunch while discussing the case and Harry as Holmes definitely has something to say about Ron's eating habits. With his name lacking formality, I agree with you and will edit accordingly. He should have been introduced as Dr, Ronald Weasley. 

No worries on the delay, I've been quite the busy bee myself. Let me know when you update your story!

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