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Reading Reviews for Off the Rails
  
601 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Marshal fifty-nine

4th April 2017:
This was a fun chapter, I particularly liked seeing Slughorn. I know a lot of people loath him as a character but he has always fascinated me and I tend to like his way of thinking being in the backround stroking the ego of famous people who can get you what you want and need... But still it was fun watching James and Harry squirm under his clutches! I love how it is same-o same-o with him. I particularly love how Horace collected like all the Potters.

It also amuses me that Horace wants Harry to teach - I think Harry would do well in it but if it's not what Harry wants then it is an ill fit.

You also did a nice job of building tension here for the coming final match. I will say though that I'm not sure I'd find interst in a game that was all about the snitch but that's just me I mean when points don't matter and it is all about the win the focus is all about the snitch but I do understand in James' shoes wanting to do everything you can to help your team so maybe, from that angle it would be an interesting game.

Anyway another fun chapter that was fairly enjoyable.

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Review #2, by Marshal eleven

4th April 2017:
Ooo the chapter where Carlotta learns about magic - so interesting. I love how James doesn't want to obliviate her. It is sweet and shows how he is already probably liking her more than he should/more than he realizes himself. I also wonder why Carlotta showed up unannounced and used his spare key or how she knew about his spare key.

Also slightly random question but why would James be using the door at all if he can simply apparate into his home like he did in this chapter. Sorry I feel like I keep poking holes here and there and I'm not meaning to, of course I could be off base and be missing something from an earlier chapter. If that is the case pay me no mind with my questions.

Anyway I know based on future chapters that Carlotta will not be oblivated but I wonder how that will be worked out but I guess that falls to me to continue to read and see what happens.

Also I did enjoy the on going theme of don't tell so and so that you had running. SO many secrets, they are bound to be found out and then I predict DRAMA! Yep because tension/drama is certainly a thing - not a bad thing mind but a thing. It works, it keeps people reading.

Author's Response: There's times when James needs to travel home by Muggle methods so he'd need to use his door. If he's going home from somewhere he can disapparate from then he can apparate straight into his place, but if he's in the middle of Muggle London then he at least needs to go to somewhere that he can disapparate from, so he may as well use the door.

Thanks for reviewing :)


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Review #3, by adluvshp eleven

4th April 2017:
here for slytherin.

Ooh Carla found out about magic! The panic of the situation came through the narrative very well. Her reaction and asking James not to hurt her was spot on, and then James trying to be soothing but failing. And then finally her running out. He broke the statute of secrecy! Him running to Lily and Brie made sense, and the way they were trying to think of ways to combat the situation was believable. Of course James doesn't even know her last name let alone her address. What a tricky situation!

It is heartwrenching to think that she could be obliviated though. and especially regarding the cooking stuff. James has started to care for her too, it's easily seen so good Job there. I really liked how the emotions were coming through here subtly.

And yay rose and scorpius! i love that pairing so i am glad that got thrown in here. A secret for a secret actually!! I hope James is able to follow his advice though - things better work out for him and clara as well as rose and scorpius, and hope Albus comes around.

Overall, this was a difficult chapter to tackle as it's a crucial point in the story but you did a good Job out of it. Carla's reaction, the confusion and the chaos, and the frustration James is feeling all was woven together nicely, and builds up really well to the next chapter.

great work

cheers
angie

Author's Response: It was actually quite hard to write the Carlotta/James scene at the start of this chapter. When people are shocked and scared they don't act rationally, and so it was a case of trying to find the balance between a stunned shock and scared shouting. It was fun to write though, even if poor Carla's terrified and James is in a bit of a pickle.

I couldn't resist throwing in a bit of Scorose! Love a secret relationship here and there. Thanks for reviewing! :)


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Review #4, by Marshal thirty-five

4th April 2017:
Hey lookie it's the chapter title! So this is the turning point of the fic I suppose? I know it is only about half way in as there are 60+ chapters and there is a load of tension and problems that happen even later in the story but James got kicked off the team, drew his wand on his dad, cost his mum her job, and pretty much lost his girlfriend at this point and is now trying to fix it all! Also I now see where the drinking issue came up and it must be before now that James decked the photographer.

ALso it is very clear in this chapter that James cares deeply for Carlotta. If I get to read the chapters it will be interesting to see what brings them back together, not to mention what caused James to snap because clearly he was under a lot of pressure.

Also you've painted a nice picture of the tension that generally exists between James and Harry. I think most people feel like Albus tries to get out of Harry's shadow rather than James so it is an interesting and unique take Jame having to try and get out from the shadow of his dad and prove that he isn't him. Also Harry didn't get an O on his DADA? I thought he had? DADA was his best subject after all! Anyway my memory may be shotty so who knows.

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Review #5, by adluvshp thirty-five

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin.

Aw, poor James. He is so wasted, but glad Carla stopped by to take care of him. It shows how much she cares. The way you showed his confusion and relief at seeing her was really nice, and also the hope. They are at their stage in the relationship where neither knows for sure how they feel and where it is going but can't help but care for each other so it's really sweet. I am sad they fought though - but i guess some things needed to be said and James needed to realise his mistakes, especially since he had hut her.

It was good that he went and saw his father though. James and Harry definitely needed to have that talk and the way things played out was interesting. Yay for Harry telling his son not to give up on her. Of course they were happy, she is his one true love after all xD

It's awesome that everyone got on board with James and Carla - that he has met his match in Lily's words. Again the dialogue in this chapter seemed a little hard to follow though, too much back and forth, so it would be nice if it could be spaced out with some thoughts and/or descriptions. Besides that, it flowed well and the way the plot is turning out to be is good. You have your characters pretty set. Good going.

cheers
angie

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Review #6, by Marshal fifty-seven

4th April 2017:
At the start of the chapter I feel really bad for James struggling in his practices. It always sucks when you don't think you are doing well when working on a team. The pressure to perform for the group is so much more compared to the pressure performing for yourself. Of course as the chapter goes on it is clear that it is James being a prefectionist and I am glad that things come together in the end for James I knew they would considering the end but still it is nice to see.

I have to say that I still love the twins and the smack talk against McLaggen was fun. I loved the bit about not hitting him would be a failure at being a beater. Also I really liked the bit about the squeaking pygmy puff. That if the squeaks weren't happy it was a grumpy and upset pygmy puff. I could never imagine such a sweet little critter being not happy. I think they exist to be happy but that is just my opinion - though if they were upset I think they would be silent and tremble but that is my imagination running away from me.

Still a nice chapter, and the ending mention of how the high didn't last long as they had to keep competing was a nice touch as well because it is very true.

Also I've not learned that it is between here and the last chapter I touched that Ryan changes teams.

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Review #7, by adluvshp fifty-seven

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin.

Aw, James' friends are so sweet. Am so on board the welfare committee. He was near his breaking point so it's really nice of them to band together and have a Weasley convention of sorts in his flat - anything to help him get his bearings together! McLaggan is such a Jerk though, Just like his father was, lol. I like his inclusion though, it adds a humorous drama to the group dynamic.

I really like how the conversations you write flow so smoothly. The dialogues rarely get boring and at the same time they are pretty believable. The banter between the friends is pretty well-written so kudos for that. And of course at the same time we get loads of information from the dialogues too - so it's conveyed without being part of a long explanatory narrative.

That aside, the descriptions in the last segment were brilliant. James' fear and nervousness was captured beautifully and it really came through. I could feel for him. The way the pep talk was written was good though and the "fear tactic" was pretty cool. It was nice to see the transition from James' first fumble to how they finally fell into pattern and started playing well together - that's the way it usually works so it was written well.

The pressure seems to be getting to James though. One win is of course not enough, they need to keep winning. I hope he is able to grow confident and savour these moments though -- and of course they do get to win by the end so that's a plus xD

cheers
angie

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Review #8, by Marshal forty-seven

4th April 2017:
So I see Jim's issues with the press isn't a one time thing then. (Comparing the last chapter I reviewed and this one.) Decking a photographer while drunk never good. Of course I assume the photographer deserved based on Ginny's remark.

Anyway the rest of the chapter you really worked to ramp up the drama and tension pre-match. A missing captain who turns out to have a loved one in labor to a replacement captain freaking out about being captain such to the point that she vanishes. I almost makes one wonder if the match would actually happen and how the team would manage! Yet it all turned out and another victory was scored! Yay Falcons! Yay James! Of course I know it would happen because of the near end of the story.

I have to say I really am now wondering how Ryan went from being on the same team as James in these games leading up to the finals and yet played against him in the finals. I'm not a big sports person but generally the draft happens before the season starts and then players don't move teams until a new season. Of course I'm jumping around and missing information and that is fully my fault - maybe there are two seasons here or maybe it's something else, maybe I'll find out in a coming chapter that I read.

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Review #9, by adluvshp forty-seven

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin!

Ooh, another match chapter. James definitely needs to up his game this chapter owing to previous events so the way he felt was believable, like he owed it to his team and his loved ones to perform well. I like Ginny and how snarky she is, especially with the photographer comment and telling him he can have a little to drink if he likes. She is a cool and sensible mom at the same time xD

Your description of the entire match was pretty good. I could visualise it happening in front of my eyes, and i could feel James' frustration when the snitch wasnt being caught alongside him. His comments (in his head) about the madness of the seeker made me chuckle, especially considering his father was one too. but they fit in his personality.

The pace picked up really well towards the end and i could feel the energy of the match vibrate through the narrative itself. They finally won and then it's a girl - two awesome announcements coming together, the Jubilation felt by James was wonderfully conveyed. I also absolutely loved how that detail of him picking up Carla is what stuck in his mind the most, that he was happy that she was happy about his victory. That's a sure sign you're seriously in love! Totally shipping them.

cheers
angie

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Review #10, by Marshal twenty-six

4th April 2017:
I have to say having read near the end it is fun coming back and reading all about James' worries about making the team and questioning if the team will get far at all. I get to sit here and go 'oh James if only you knew!"

Still the publicity stuff was interesting. Too bad James wasn't prepped well for the interviews and knew that magazines and papers, particularly the mags like to get personal and ask questions about private lives instead of the important things the things that made him famous in the first place.

Anyway I am forced to wonder what is between James and Harry as James has no desire to talk to his dad and thinks his dad wouldn't care.

Also I wanted to ask - telephones? How do they work with magic folk is that something in your world that has been over come as phones are more a muggle thing than a wizard thing seeing as they can floo just a head in to talk direct and be a bit face to face.

Anyway, the chapter was interesting and I admit I actually laughed at James being so excited about being picked he almost left without wearing proper attire - silly boy! Makes one wonder what other fun things are in store.

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Review #11, by adluvshp twenty-six

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin.

Ah, the dread and nervousness and anxiety as you wait for yourself (or in this case your squad) to be picked. It's kinda like waiting on an interview call or something so James' anxiety was totally relatable here. The way you built up to the moment was really good, by ticking off the teams one by one and telling what squads made it with his reactions to each.

That touch of it being James' dream, or aim, ever since he was seventeen gave the moment a lot more importance and made you want to root for him even more. I would have liked some more backstory into it though, maybe even a flashback scene to add to how much it means to him, but that's Just my opinion!

And wooo James is in!! The phone conversation was smoothly done, and I was relieved alongside James when i read it xD You have really gone into the nitty gritty of this which is nice, such as player registration and stuff. Added details to Quidditch that could easily be canon but we don't know about, so that's awesome.

The last bit made me smile and also worry a little. So people know about this "girlfriend" and James is on edge about it. His reaction to questons about his personal life matched Harry's pretty well - like father, like son. Of course he didnt like it. And uh oh, Carla has finally found out about the whole boy-who-lived thing! Time for James to spill the beans! It would definitely bring developments into their relationship.

Great chapter all in all.

cheers
angie

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Review #12, by Marshal nine

4th April 2017:
Okay - not what I expected when I started the chapter. Grandmother's birthday I was thinking Nana-Molly particularly when they all bought presents. Then for it to be Lily Evans-Potter. I'm sorry to say I'm a little 'um - okay.' I guess I don't get the idea of buying material things for a deceased loved one like the book and broach and then burning it. It just simply does not make sense to me.

Now I will say it is sweet and wonderful the whole potter clan appreciating the deceased Lily and visiting her grave at regular intervals and the flowers make sense to me too as that is traditional. Is the physical gifts that are presented at the grave site and then burned a cultural thing?

Still the united front was good it was a nice moment seeing all the Potters together - also I did enjoy the quips and back and forthing between the parents and siblings. Oh, and it is sweet that James is like no I can't go out the night before. I like how he is firm on that it adds to the sweetness of the united family.

Which brings me to the fact that I also liked the dialogue at the start of the chapter about maybe not being at the Tav next week when everyone knows she will be.

Author's Response: I think that Harry, having grown up all his life without having parents to give presents to, would see the Weasleys doing exactly that, and then experience his kids doing the same for him, and want to have that moment himself. Even if his parents can't actually receive the presents, he still feels like he's giving them something and marking that they did exist once.

Thanks for reviewing :)


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Review #13, by adluvshp nine

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin!

So James' training is going on and it's difficult for him to see Clara, of course. I can see their relationship building up and the budding romance, and I hope things get to work out between them soon and they get to have a nice meetup. Clara being muggle and James magical obviously complicates matters. I was wondering why grandma's birthday was not a nice day, but then the ending bit made sense - it was Lily's birthday. The little ritual they did at the end of putting down the presents at the gravestone and then burning them before placing flowers was beautiful. A little strange but also very sweet and heart-touching. It's obvious that Harry has taught his kids to respect and love their grandparents and those values and sentiments can be seen which is really nice.

I loved the snappy dialogue exchanges in this chapter, especially between the siblings as it established their dynamics well while also giving us backstories to what's going on in each of their lives. The conversation was casual and school-oriented and overall done in a believable manner so it was easy to read and get involved with the situation.

All in all, great going and the story looks like it's headed in a nice direction.

cheers
angie

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #14, by MalfoysAngel sixty-three

4th April 2017:
James retired?! Talk about a plot twist! And he asked Carla to move in!? What are you doing to me? This was a great chapter full of drama from beginning to end and it fit really well with the aftermath of winning a World Cup and realizing that all your goals are met for your life. You wrote James's what now moment well and I remember feeling like that after graduation. I could empathize with him and understood what hat his thought process was and his rationale for making the choice that he did.

Having him visit Godric's Hollow with Carla was sweet and I enjoyed reading the moment you gave him at his grandparents' graves. In a way, it brought everything full circle and brought him closure. I'm also glad to see that Carla has adapted to the magical world well and has accepted the oddities of that world without passing judgement. Again I'm coming to this chapter randomly so if I'm wrong, then I apologize. I have to come back as soon as my life slows down and I get rid of this nasty head cold that is acting as a dementor and sucking tthe life right out of me. Hopefully that doesn't take me too long.

Tasha

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Review #15, by adluvshp sixty-three

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin.

I like the light, relaxed tone of this chapter. You can see it's creeping towards happy times and that's always good. The beginning segment brought a smile on my face. When James made his medal do somersaults, I giggled - true that phrase is wasted on magical people. Things seem to be going good though I get the whole thing of "what next". It's weird how after you achieve something you've wanted for so long, you suddenly find yourself out of things to do!

But omg, he is retiring from quidditch? now that's something i did not see coming - Just like his friends! But his decision makes sense, and then what you wrote about having everything yet the amount of scrutiny and pressure being enough to make a person crack - it made sense. James Potter can definitely be in such a situation. And the bond between him and his agent Brie is really very sweet, friendships like that are amazing and am glad things worked out between them despite his retirement.

The visit to Godric's hollow was really sweet and kinda made me tear up too. And the way he made Carla see it was beautiful. He is being very cheeky about his new Job though - I wonder if he is going to take up teaching at hogwarts or something. it definitely should have something to do with quidditch that's for sure. And yay Carla and James are moving in together, that's awesome too.

All in all, a suitable happy ending! I loved reading this =)

cheers
angie

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Review #16, by MalfoysAngel forty-two

4th April 2017:
Wow talk about an emotional roller coaster. I almost feel bad for James with everything he's going through in this chapter. So his love interest has Parkinson's and is doing her best to shut him out. I hope she doesn't succeed and I'm glad James is going to do his best to make sure she doesn't.

I wish I had a friend like Felicity who could read me like a book and see through the front i put on and who is fiercely protective of me. Friends like that are hard to come by and I like reading stories that have characters included that fit that description.

I like that the dynamic between James and Carla is believable and how you've written James with no desire to ride through life on his father's coat tails. I'm coming into this chapter as randomly as my last review so if there is any mention of this in previous chapters and I am in fact wrong I apologize. I really do need to break the habit of randomly reading chapters since I never have a full picture of what is going on. I will have to do my best to come back and start from the beginning to put all the pieces together.

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Review #17, by adluvshp forty-two

4th April 2017:
here for slytherin.

ooh, some romance drama in this chapter. finally get an insight into James' romantic life too! I think touching upon the idea of parkinson's disease is really brave as it can be a sensitive issue and difficult thing to write about. Yet, you have done a good Job of it. The way you Juiced the moments before James finds out was really good - it built up a level of anticipation and curiosity as to what the issue is.

Then, when he sees her, the little things like her arms trembling or her speaking slowly are subtle hints to her condition. Enough to make James wonder but not enough for him to Jump to conclusions.

Man how she struck a blow at him saying the whole "Just live for the Job" thing because James loves Quidditch so much. Carlotta's reluctance and her pushing him away made sense but it also broke my heart. I am glad James later manages to get together with her though - those two are really sweet together. I am glad he had her friend for advice, and the way they call it "parky" to not make her feel bad, it reminded me of Remus' furry little problem from marauders' times. Friendship goals honestly.

All in all, another lovely chapter. We delve deeper into James' life and how much he loves Carlotta. he really is willing to handle it all and it's heartwarming to see. The characterisation is charming and i am rooting for the two!

cheers
Angie

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Review #18, by MalfoysAngel sixty-two

4th April 2017:
ohhh what does James have up his sleeves? Since he's one quarter Marauder and half Weasley, I'm hoping its a prank.

I like that James isn't celebrating too hard and is being somewhat of a responsible adult. But I do wish there wasn't so many interactions within this chapter. I was somewhat confused at the changing conversations but I'm also jumping into this chapter randomly so that may be why I'm confused too. (I'm also dealing with a head cold so that might be part of it too)

I really like what you've got going here and as soon as I have a chance like when Capture the Flag is over I'll have to come back and start from the beginning that way everything will make more sense. I'm not usually one to read quidditch stories but there seems to be an interesting family dynamic that you have going that makes me want to come back for more. I just wish I had more time on my hands to do so.

This was a really great chapter. I can't gush enough about how much I enjoyed reading it this morning. It had a lot going on but for coming into it the way I did, I was able to put the pieces together somewhat easily.

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Review #19, by adluvshp sixty-two

4th April 2017:
Here for slytherin.

Ah, the Joy of winning after a match. Especially the world cup! It has to be pretty amazing and you have described it really well. The family dynamics are on point - with Dom being pregnant and telling James the news first, or with that little detail of Albus and Scorpius. Btw, I apologise for previously referring to Jim/James as her, I meant "him" haha. But seriously, the world cup win is such a proud moment for the family and it's shown in an authentic manner, be it through Arthur or Molly or through the cousins. Your way of writing dialogue is a little confusing though, I kinda lose track of who's saying what sometimes, so maybe try breaking in the dialogue with more description of the actions or the scene? Just a little helpful CC!

Besides that, this was a very good chapter. I loved the little moment between Bri and James. And it was sweet how the dynamic between Ryan and James played out alright despite the fact that Ryan lost. My favourite bit of the chapter has to be the father-son interaction though. You really write Harry very well and I can totally see him being a grown up and a dad like this from the Harry we know. That whole "James potter's father" moment was too cute and I let out a chuckle.

I wonder what's the scene with James and Carlotta though (speaking of - yay Della and Ryan got together, he definitely needed some cheering up).

All in all, lovely chapter. Had fun reading it. Cheers

-Angie

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Review #20, by Marshal/Scooterbug8515 sixty-one

4th April 2017:
So much going on in this chapter - it is like unreal! The quidditch match my goodness! There was ton of action there but you did well with it. I had a feeling since the previous chapter that James was going to win the cup it was kind of one of those how could he not win the match? He's the protagonist after all.

Anyway you made a nice point with how one has to be ruthless in quidditch and forget your friends. I feel bad for James having to do that but at the same time that is how it is in games. You have to do what you must for your team. Though I feel like it should/would be an understanding between Jim and Ryan that there are no hard feelings off of this match - at least that is what good sportsmanship is all about but who knows what the next chapters contain in regards to Jim and Ryan.

Also nearly the whole Weasley clan visiting Jim before the match! That is a lot of people and while I know he loves his family I know personally I would find that exhausting to be greeted and loved by so many people just before the big match but I guess not for Jim. I will say the moment of breathing in Nana-smell was sweet and I teared a little at the mention of cheering for both grandmothers and how Lily Evans-Potter would be proud as well it as a sweet and endearing moment.

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Review #21, by adluvshp sixty-one

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin!

Ooh another fun chapter. I love how this started off with Jim's mum cooking - it showed a sweet family bond, little things like that. Ron making a bet with Seamus also makes sense, I can imagine him doing something like that, hehe. And ooh, Nana Molly is there too! Your portrayal of her is awesome and I loved how caring she is towards Jim. Her wanting to walk to the stadium even though she could apparate made sense and was relatable, she wanted to be with her family at this time, she needed that support and wanted to bask in their warmth. The moment brought a smile to my face.

Her nervousness and exhaustion is also realistically written. I could picture myself feeling the same way if I were in her shoes. Her disliking the fact that she had to crush Ryan's (or anyone's) dreams to win the match also spoke a lot about her character. The sentiment or message that you gave through that bit is very striking. But, at the same time, I loved the quote ""Quidditch meant being ruthless. And today, I would have to be just that."" It captures the essence of any sport really, and here it fits the scenario perfectly.

Speaking of which, the way you describe the game blow by blow is awesome. I think it's very difficult to write out a game like that and yet keep your readers engaged, but you've managed to do it. I really could envision all of the action happening. That feeling of winning in the end was beautiful and how Jim couldn't register at first but then she was holding the Cup - very well-written.

All in all, great chapter. It had brilliant pacing and energy and the details worked together very well. I was completely engrossed to know what would happen next! Great work!

cheers
angie

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Review #22, by Marshal/Scooterbug8515 sixty

4th April 2017:
So I'm not one of the brave few who started at chapter 1 and have made it this far, but the chapter was good all the same and it wasn't hard to pick up on the characters and what was going on in their lives which speaks well for your writing! You certainly don't leave anything out!


I find it interesting that you have placed Lily as a squib, I always find it interesting when people make a squib out of one of the Weasleys or Potter's I also love how they are not ousted either like we see with Filch. I think it is one of the qualities that makes the Potter/Weasley clan so amazing. I like how you incorporated their muggle like living with the magical world at the same time. I feel like you did not stretch thing like I know so many authors try to do - you made it believable and real so kudos.

Also while I've only met them here I simply love and adore the Bagman twins already! They are funny and amusing and I love that they tell stories about Ludo. It is interesting that they are going separate ways to push themselves after this final.

It will be interesting to see what comes of James here in the near future as we don't know for sure (at least in this chapter) what direction he is going in.

Also I must say that you did a fabulous job of giving every character a unique voice and a lot of personality. One chapter and it is just ooozing off the page.

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Review #23, by adluvshp sixty

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin.

So, I've skimmed through the first two chapters and then jumped straight here so forgive me if I make any story plot errors - but I'm trying the technique of reviewing the chapter as an entity, so I'll try and see the chapter on its own and comment on that.

First off, the Quidditch. I think it's brilliant how you've written the way they strategise and decide on how to play. I am really enjoying your perspective on the game. The idea of having a Quidditch channel is superb - the mixing of muggle and magical stuff is always fascinating and I like your take on it.

Jim seems like a really nice main character. I like her innocent friendship with her friends and the easygoing relationship she has with her dad. The ending segment was really nice with the dad coming in with four tickets and offering his daughter a chance to pick. That too, top box! That is pretty cool and it's easy to understand Jim's reaction too - it is authentic.

Also, love the smaller details like "Bagman twins"! That is so exciting. I can totally imagine Ludo Bagman having kids, and that too twins, and then they playing Quidditch. It also makes sense that the game has gotten rough with time and it's kinda funny how right now the players' tactic is to focus on staying on their brooms! Definitely a fresh take than how we usually see the game in the canon books or in other fanfic.

The sub-plots and the minor characters are also coming in well together, and i like the descriptions you provide, such as Maddy disliking "archaic" communication but liking someone enough to be sending them letters through owl. They add very realistic touches to the characters, and even though I've known them for a short while as of now, I am already into the story and able to feel their bonds and understand their characters. The dynamics between the characters are also easily felt like between Lynch and Lily or McLaggen and Jim. So, it was effortless to slip into the story and understand what's happening.

All in all, great chapter and it worked really well in terms of dialogue, characters, and overall mood. Cheers!

-Angie

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Review #24, by Deets epilogue

5th September 2016:
Wow. I can't believe this story has been around for so long and I just found it two days ago!

This fic felt so incredibly real: the way the characters developed, the descriptions of the lingering effects of the war, the QUIDDITCH (the length and depth of the sections on strategy and the League kept making me forget that the sport isn't actually real and that you brilliantly fleshed it all out)...It was a journey reading this and although I have mixed feelings about James retiring, I could see it coming and understood why it had to happen.

LOVE LOVE LOVED this and can't wait to read the sequel. You're a wondrous writer :))

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely review, I'm so glad you enjoyed Rails and I hope to see you at the sequel! :)

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Review #25, by onestop_hpfan18 epilogue

6th August 2016:
I loved this. It was so fluffy and perfect. Now I'm off to start reading Derailed because I just need to know more... especially about this business proposition. !!!

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