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1,093 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dojh167 Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology

16th April 2017:
Hufflepuff CtF Review

So I really meant what I said about looking for a shorter chapter to review by you, but my jailbreaking role said otherwise =P

Iím really curious to see where this chapter will fit in with the timeline of the first two chapters. There is no reference to Harry having recently died, so Iím going to assume it is after the second chapter, and that first chapter is set after the rest of the story? The mystery remains.

I was confused for a minute by the name Hermys cause I think Percyís owl was Hermes, and I almost missed altogether that you sund house elf. It seems odd to me that Harry would own an elf.

omg, Hermione being hungry for toes is adorable.

Hehe I like how confidently Ron said ďmanipulationĒ instead of ďoperation and the familiar smoothness with which Hermione corrected him. I also find it interesting that even though Harry and Hermione grew up muggle, they have developed a mistrust of muggle medicine.

Haha, I love this line: ďArthurís love of muggle gadgets was matched only by his propensity for accidentally destroying them with magic.Ē It is so Arthur and so funny!

Okay, a house elf making cute faces at a baby is the cutest thing Iíve read tonight. You win. Can I have a one shot that is just Hermys babysitting?

Huh. I never pictured Kreacher as a family man.

Omg I am a huge Percy fan and divorced moody muggle poetry listening Percy is my new fave. Omg, yes to ďPercyís been working at a midlife crisis since he was what, seventeen?Ē

Wait, what trial? Did Ginny not die a natural death? At least by this point we get confirmation that this des in fact take place after the second chapter.

ďNot only were they expected to do utterly ridiculous things for money, most of their entertainment came from watching other muggles do the same.Ē Welp, youíve hit life on the head.

ďthat one where the nice Italian plumber saves the princess from the gorilla?Ē You are a delight.

Omg I have so much respect for this little girl whose idea of a good time is playing with a manifestation of her worst fears. Yup, thatís Rose and Scorpiusí kid.

Oh no thatís horrible - is that how Ginny died? What an excellent way to reveal it to the reader though.

This was a good chapter - the dialogue between all of the characters felt very grounded and believable and was fun to read. It did a good job of getting some exposition established without being boring. Iím curious to see where the big conspiracy plot will come into play. Youíve laid some of the groundwork, but we havenít had the big inciting action yet. You bring Percy up at the end again, which makes it seem like heís going to be significant. I look forward to reading more about him.

Well done! I may or may not be back - the tides of CtF will tell!

Sam.

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Review #2, by Felpata Lupin Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology

16th April 2017:
Hi, Dan! I'm back for CTF (you can tell I was curious about what was to come... :P)

I loved the first part of the chapter, I enjoyed that it was a bit more light-hearted. Ron and Hermione are always so much fun to see together, I liked how you portrayed their relationship in their later years, it was really endearing. And baby Amelie seems so cute! :)

The bit about genie glass and the new attention of wizardkind for Muggle technology was really interesting, I wonder if it'll have a role in the plot. I love that it helped the Potters and Weasleys' wealth to grow and I loved all the institutions Harry founded, especially the werewolves' one (I have a love for werewolves...)

I also found really funny that Ron followed in Arthur's steps with his craziness for Muggle stuff, that's pretty amusing.

The absence of Ginny is still pretty strong in here, too. It's obvious that her death has affected everyone pretty bad. I'm wondering what's wrong with Percy, but I guess we'll find out later. Also, I'm wondering what happened exactly when Ginny died... was it a Muggle who killed her? Why? What does it have to do with Octavia?

By the way, I also loved the little snippets about Rose and Scorpius and Hugo and Fiona. I read very little next gen, but I think it's fascinating to explore their lives. I'm curious to know more about Rosie and Scorpius' relationship, they are surely an interesting couple. :P

The Boggart scene was really scary. And sad, too. And I'm so curious to learn more, so I might be back again. :)

Goodbye for now,
Chiara

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Review #3, by Felpata Lupin Everything That Ever Mattered

14th April 2017:
Hi, Dan! Here reviewing for CTF!

This was very touching. Poor Harry, how must he miss her... I'd been wondering if he was actually talking to her at first, but then his unilateral conversation, plus the clue of the prologue, made me realize that she had to be dead.

I loved all the details about their granchildren and Harry teaching at Hogwarts and everything else. I love the idea that Neville is Headmaster (and still scared of Snape... that's so endearing!)

Your descriptions were beautiful, too. I loved the atmosphere of the Autumn air and all the details of the estate and the changes over the years. You gave us such beautiful pictures of their family life, you could tell the children of the Potter-Weasley clan grew up in a happy environment.

Harry's grief was written wonderfully, too. I can totally get the guilt and the impotence and the feelings that he just can't keep going without her. It makes me slightly Angri, actually, because he must realize that he can't save everyone, but at the same time I can't blame him *hugs Harry*

I'm curious about what'she's coming next and most importantly how this will tie up with the prologue. I'm very intrigued by all of it. Also, your writing is stunning (if I didn't mention already).

I have to go now, but I might be back.
See you!
With love,
Chiara

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Review #4, by Dojh167 Everything That Ever Mattered

14th April 2017:
Hufflepuff CtF Review

Okay, Iím back and eager to find out just how dead (or not) Harry and Ginny are!
Oh wow, and this opening is not what I expected. Is it a flashback set before they died? Or some iteration of the afterlife?

The opening line reads a bit like an obituary, listing his notable achievements and connections. I think thatís clever.

Haha, the next next generation and people are still naming their kids after Lily. And Arthur! It looks like there will be a ton of new characters and their relationships to keep track of in this story, what with the way those Weasleys multiply.

I like that you let Harry be a teacher. Heís always made more sense to me as a teacher than spending all his years as a ministry worker.

Headmaster Longbottom being fabulous and still being afraid of Snapeís portrait hurts my little heart.

I like the play on words of calling Malfoy a ďdeath-eating gitĒ

Um Harryís doing an awful lot of talking. Whatís up with Ginny?

Haha, with all of the Weasley and Potter kids, of course they can have a whole quidditch tournament just among themselves!

Ooooh I like the idea of Lily working seriously for Weasley Wizarding Wheezes! I donít think thatís an idea Iíve seen before and I quite like it.

Ah, so Harry is talking to Ginnyís tombstone here. I kind of thought he might be. I love the inscription ďFly fast, chaser girl.Ē

This is an interesting chapter. It has kind of the feel of a prologue as it takes its time in giving backstory on various characters, but itís a little funny because the first chapter also felt like a prologue. Since we jumped back in time with this chapter, Iím left wondering when the next chapter will be set. Will it follow up this chapter, or jump forward to after the first when Harry is in Kings Cross.

I am interested to know what happens next, though since the next chapter looks kind of long, for the sake of CtF speediness I might read something else by you next time around.

Sam.

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Review #5, by victoria_anne Prologue

12th April 2017:
As soon as I read misty whiteness, I just knew we'd be at Kings Cross Station.

This made me laugh more than it probably should have: ďGreat,Ē he mumbled to himself, ďyouíre dead again.Ē Poor little Harry really is beginning to form a habit.

Interesting that he should refer to Voldemort as Tom Riddle. But then, that's what he was calling him when they duelled in the final battle.

Aw, and he's hoping to see Dumbledore. I love that that's one of his first thoughts. Especially when it came before wondering what he had done to get there in the first place, haha! But seriously... what did he do? If it really is the gateway between the living and dead worlds, it's pretty awesome that he's still able to get onto Platform 9 3/4!

Oh, does this mean Ginny is dead too? I'm certainly interested in finding out what happens next! Especially since Harry can't remember the circumstances that brought him there! I don't think I've read your work before (something CtF is bringing to my attention) so that's something I'll have to remedy!

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Review #6, by Dojh167 Prologue

12th April 2017:
Hufflepuff CtF Review

Wow, I donít get out enough, do I? Doing these review events always gets me finding stories that I feel like I should know about but donít. While this story is a bit old, I feel like I should have been aware of it as a dobby and golden paw winner. Derp derp. Anyway, Iím here now, and hopefully I can read the first couple chapters over the next couple rounds of CtF

It looks really interesting to me that you say in the summary that Harry will lead four generations. So would that mean Arthur/Molly, the trio, the next gen kids, and their kids? Thatís quite an army, whether or not thereís fighting involved!

Your opening is very engaging - it jumps right into something interesting happening, and itís something that neither Harry nor the reader completely understands at first.

I actually caught on before you specified that he was at the Kings Cross Station of the Kings Cross Again chapter in Deathly Hallows. I figured that out between the white missed and the tone of how straightforwardly he accepted the unusual circumstances without panic.

Haha, I love the humor of ďGreat,Ē he mumbled to himself, ďyouíre dead again.Ē Itís very Harry. It almost sounds like he may have ďdiedĒ another time since Deathly Hallows and itís just something he rolls his eyes at by this point. But no, you say that his last time here was in DH.

Oh thatís interesting, that he was on the muggle side of the platform. I wonder if that has special significance. Now that I think of it, Iím not sure it was specified in Kings Cross Again. I suppose both sides would look the same all empty like that, but I imagine since this is a place Harryís mind sentimentally generated, it makes sense that he would want to be on the magical side.

Does Ginny here mean she already died? I imagine Harry was quite death by his death here, if there are two generations beyond him. But I donít imagine Harry will stay dead for this story, which makes me wonder if Ginny is really dead or will be returning with Harry.

This is an intriguing start, and Iím interested to see what happens next!

Sam.

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Review #7, by Freddie Rindklip The Needs of the Many

18th February 2017:
I am not much of a reviewer, but I really like it.

Author's Response: I'm really happy that you're enjoying it.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by GoGoWeasleyPants Embracing the Darkness

8th August 2016:
I'm worried about Hermione and her hate legs. What will it actually cost her to walk again?

Author's Response: As it turns out, it will cost her quite a bit. If you're still reading, I assume you've discovered that by now.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #9, by GoGoWeasleyPants The Silliest Thing Iíve Ever Heard

8th August 2016:
I'm so hooked! Great story and I really like the way you write it too.

Author's Response: I'm really pleased that you're enjoying the story. Thank you for reading and for leaving a review!

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Review #10, by Nat Epilogue

7th August 2016:
Amazing story, couldn't stop reading it!

Author's Response: I'm really pleased to know that you enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading and letting me know!


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Review #11, by Ben Epilogue

21st June 2016:
Hi, not sure if you still check these reviews, but just finished reading this, and wanted to say how amazing it was.
Emotional, exciting, funny and easy to read.

Closest Fanfic I have seen to the great JK Rowling. Thank you for all the effort I am sure that this took.

I hope that you haven't given up writing as you seem to have a gift.

12/10

Author's Response: Hi, there!

I confess that I don't check reviews every day (twice a day... every hour...) like I used to, but I do still pay attention.

Thank you for the kind words. I really appreciate it and I can't think of any higher praise than that.

I do still write from time to time, although I haven't posted anything in a while. Hopefully I can change that soon.

Thank you again,
Dan


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Review #12, by Toni Epilogue

27th April 2016:
I have just finished this story, with tears running down my face. It is a beautiful story and I am glad Harry and Esme didn't get together. Always Harry and Ginny for me. Wonderful writing. Keep it up. Cannot wait until your next one.

Author's Response: I'm very happy that you enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #13, by dumbledore_wannabe Epilogue

8th April 2016:
I found this story only a week or two ago and have been reading like crazy. I would probably be fired if they knew how much time I've spent reading it at work because I simply had to find out what happened next. This story is absolutely amazing. And the last part of the last chapter - I was absolutely sobbing and smiling at the same time. What a wonderful and entirely perfect conclusion to a masterful story. THANK YOU.

Author's Response: Hi, there.

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the story. I do hope it doesn't hurt your career in any way. ;) Thank you so much for letting me know that you liked it. It really means a lot.


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Review #14, by dumbledore_wannabe Those Who Donít Learn From History

30th March 2016:
Dennis' lesson. Brilliant.

Author's Response: Nobody understands Dementors until they've felt the cold. Or something like that. ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #15, by dumbledore_wannabe Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology

30th March 2016:
Thank you for that author's note! It was making me crazy trying to remember where I had read about genie glass... Even though I hate thinking of Ginny being gone, I'm enjoying this story, very different!

Author's Response: Hi!

I always love to give a shout-out to the stories that helped to inspire this one.

Not having Ginny be part of this story was the hardest decision I made. I hope you'll like the place that decision ultimately led to.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by Bluewolf80 Epilogue

13th February 2016:
I read this for the first time maybe a year ago. I just finished it again and I NEVER re-read fanfics! This one is worth it though. It is so well crafted that when I am reading it I am reminded of a master potter sitting at his wheel sculpting, molding, with clay that is gradually taking shape into a beautiful masterpiece.

Even on my second go round I still had trouble keeping all the grandchildren straight. I can understand why Harrry would use the tapestry to "cheat"! If I wasn't such a PotterHead and already knew all of them, it would be even harder. I'll have to go back and read 'Evolution' and get caught up. I'm so glad that you did not just make up names but used the canon ones.

I think that my favorite thing was the way that you included the character of Death. There were so many references to the Deathly Hallows story. Like the cloak and meeting as old friends. Loved it! I truly enjoyed the way you weaved that into your story.

I really think this is one of the best fan fictions out there. I hope to read more of your work soon. Keep writing! I'm sure that you will be successful.

Author's Response: Hello, again!

First off, thank you for leaving such a detailed, thoughtful review. It is greatly appreciated.

I... um... wow. You left me kind of speechless there. Not completely sure how to respond to such kind words. I have a giant smile every time I reread this review.

I always felt like Harry would want a large family for two reasons: 1) he never had a family to speak of growing up, and 2) I felt like he was very envious (not in a negative way) of the Weasleys for being such a close, loving family.

The idea of including Death in this story was something that popped into my head very late in the process of drafting that chapter. I had the trainman already, but prior to that he was modeled after a non-psycho version of the Trainman in the Matrix movies. He was a gatekeeper between worlds.

Again, I can't thank you enough for all of the kind words and for leaving such a nice review. It means a great deal to me and I'm very happy that you enjoyed the story!


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Review #17, by mysuv1 The Injuries We Canít See

5th February 2016:
not sure if i like where it is going

Author's Response: Eh, give it a chance. There are lots of twists and turns, so you might suddenly find the story heading in a direction you like better.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #18, by mysuv1 The Silliest Thing Iíve Ever Heard

4th February 2016:
this is an unusual concept

Author's Response: Writing is more fun when you try to do some unusual things.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by Veritaserum27 The Needs of the One

24th January 2016:
Dan, Dan, Dan...

You're kind of evil for the way you started this chapter off. The last one ended with Susan on the verge of death after the showdown at the Ministry. She Albus and Hugo were fighting their way out of a sticky situation and it was just as intense as the scene you describe with Harry at the opening of this chapter.

Except he's playing Exploding Snap.

I actually found it extremely adorable that he and Ron can still get up to such antics as they did when they were twelve. And it's just so Hermione-like to put a stop to it. I also find it adorable that Ron and Hermione still have the gumption to get up to whatever they were getting up to the minute Harry and Esme left the country - heh heh.

Itís a very intricate spell, but fortunately itís also very robust. She spent a lot of time on this. Iíd say she really cared about keeping in touch with her sister.

I feel like I should hold on to this sentiment. Something smells important here...

I'm intrigued that the group now have a supply of portkeys, polyjuice potion and some other good things. This is so much different from when they were hunting horcruxes and had to search around for the most basic necessities.

You have an amazing talent for writing such a complicated plot, yet keeping it all straight and understandable for your readers. There are a LOT of Potters and Weasleys, but the group manages to come up with a plan for them in a few moments time - and the Delacours makes perfect sense. I'm breathing a sigh of relief that they will be safe there.

So I gotta admit - I'm more than a little nervous for Al and Hugo to gather all the family and get to the Delacours. They don't seem to be the best at thinking on their feet in a sticky situation. I'm sure it's mostly because they simply haven't had to do it nearly as much as their parents did, but all the same - they have a LOT of people to account for and get to safety - especially considering they aren't 100% certain where everyone is. But Harry and Ron didn't have much of a choice. They can't have Hermione do it in her current state, Esme doesn't know them very well, so she would probably be more of a hindrance, and Harry and Ron must get Susan immediate medical attention. My nerves are really humming on this all playing out well (I'm not going to even try to pretend it's going to play out according to plan - this is Harry and Ron we're talking about - and their offspring).

Ah! The house elf ward at St. Mungo's! How clever. Although I don't rightly blame the elves for being so standoffish. They can't start accepting every Tom, Dick, and Susan that waltzes in and asks for medical attention - it could end up being an underground (but yet above the heads of the wizards) medical treatment facility for anyone who wanted to stay "off the grid." All the same - I'm glad they finally agreed to treat her.

Dennis Northway is a really lovable character. I don't know why, but I've grown quite fond of him.

Fortunately for Oliver, he had his family to fall back on and fortunately for Dennis, Oliver and Artie had sort of pulled him along with them. -That's just the Potter way.

And then we have our suspected Professor Tennant doing exactly what we suspected him of doing. And poorly. Even the Hogwarts students are noticing his behavior.

Poor Dennis - he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, at the moment.

As they walked, Artie peered around to make sure that nobody was listening and whispered, ďWeíre going to start dueling lessons again, in secret. Weíre working on finding a good place to practice. -Hey! I might know of a cool place for that sort of thing!

I really love how you've got little parallels here and there to the books. For example, the inept Dark Arts Professor, the kids practicing dueling in secret, and Rowle with his two, enormous cronies for backup. I really appreciate those little details.

But here's something different! They are planning on going to Professor Longbottom to tell him about Tennant's bizarre behavior. This is a stark contrast to the books, when Harry, Ron and Hermione usually took it upon themselves to solve the problem instead of asking a teacher.

I loved the end of this and how it all tied together! Haha - I love that Neville has struck a proper balance between casting his authority and being approachable to the students. He has Dumbledore's "piercing stare" (I think all teachers need that one from time to time :) ), but he also remembers the contributions students can make to the fight against evil.

I hope the Grey Lady doesn't scare them off. And I'm so excited to see the Room of Requirement again. I think J.K. hinted that the Fiendfyre might've destroyed it beyond use in the last book, but it's never been something that I could reconcile in my head. That room is just too cool for it to not be around!

Great chapter - I didn't catch any typos! :D

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! I guess I can't just keep staring at this amazing review and smiling at it forever...

A little misdirection makes a story more fun, don't you think? :p It's boring to ease readers into the exact scene they are expecting without adding some uncertainty about what's taking place and where. Or, yeah, I might just be kind of evil.

Katerina Porcher did love her sister a great deal and went to great lengths to make sure that they didn't lose touch. So you're right, it's interesting that it happened so abruptly.

There are a mountain of Potters and Weasleys in this story, so it did become a challenge to keep them all straight and remember what they were doing at any point in time.

Al and Hugo are in way, way, way over their heads. Nothing in their lives could have prepared them for what they're about to face. In some respects it's similar to how the Trio was sent out into the cold, hostile world to hunt horcruxes, but this generation doesn't have the benefit of a Hermione to puzzle out all of the tough situations or a Harry who throws caution to the wind and acts on instinct. You'll see the consequences of this fact very soon.

Yes, the House Elf Ward. I first saw this in another fic (Learning to Live Again? I'm embarrassed to admit I don't exactly remember) and I fell in love with the idea. It is a very uncomfortable situation for all involved.

I've said since Dennis first appeared to keep an eye on him. Dennis is not only a character, he's also a metaphor for a magical world that's become complacent and naive. A big part of the plot is how Dennis gradually realizes the true dangers that surround him.

Yes, the Potter/Weasley kids do have that one advantage over their parents. They have actually been taught to trust and confide in the authority figures in their lives. How much trouble could have been saved if only Harry had done the same...

I do love writing "Neville the Headmaster". It's such a contrast to how he behaves when he's in the company of his own contemporaries. There's actually a lot of that in this story and it made the writing that much more fun.

I chose to believe that Fiendfyre destroyed "the Room of Hidden Things", but that was only one facet of the Room of Requirement. It works for me. :)

Thanks so much for all of the support and attention to detail!

-Dan


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Review #20, by Jace76 Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology

30th November 2015:
I am loving that you have taken inspiration from two of my favourite stories. It's awesome to see others interpretations of what would happen to the characters latter on.

Author's Response: Hi! They're two of my favorites, as well. I hope you enjoy my ideas for what might have happened next.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #21, by Veritaserum27 The Needs of the Many

26th November 2015:
Hi there Dan,

I tried to get this all wrapped up last night, but Iíd been baking all day long and I ended up falling asleep - haha! Anyway - here is a Thanksgiving Day review for you!

I loved the first scene with Susan. Actually, I love Susan. One of the things that J.K. did with her characters was to make magic Ďthe great equalizer.í Being a Quidditch player or an Auror or even Minister or Headmaster/mistress wasnít ever construed as typically a manís job. Along with her lack of prejudice in other areas, this is one of the reasons why I loved the series so much. I adore reading stories like yours where characters are strong, capable and brilliant regardless of their gender or sexuality or race. And I love Susan.

Poor Draco. As usual, I feel like heís going to be stuck having to make a decision between two very, very bad choices. This line makes me a little nervous:

He vaguely remembered skimming a pamphlet from the Magical Creatures Department years ago and he could have sworn that it said that elves were not able to repair curse damage,

I really hope this isnít foreshadowing of some sort. But goon on Astoria for not being as dim-witted or as disloyal as her husband predicts. Another strong female character. Noted. Iím a bit surprised that Narcissa Malfoy was so poor with money. She actually always struck me as someone who was really with-it when it came to maintaining her familyís posterity. Either someone has siphoned off the Malfoy fortune or Lucius always took care of all of that and when he became ill and eventually passed, Narcissa didnít know how to keep track of their money.

I noticed this chapter contains three vignettes like most of yours, but unlike the others, this final section is about the same character as the first one. And whooo boy, does it ever have some action. Hold on to your hats! I enjoyed reading the skirmish at the Ministry quite a bit, but I did not expect Susan to get injured so badly.

ďHugo, get over here!Ē Alís voice rang with barely contained panic. More bad news. At the rate things were going, Hugo was probably digging a hole nearby.

Thereís that humor again. And much needed this time. Was Susan referring to Ron or Harry when she said ďcall your dad?Ē

I know I wonít be able to wait very long to get to the next chapter - YIKES! What a cliffhanger.

Sorry this review isnít as long as usual, but I wanted to spread some Thanksgiving cheer.

♥ Beth


Author's Response: Hi, Beth! Happy Black Friday Weekend to you!

I love Susan, too. Time and again, she has Big Moments and steals scenes in this story. I don't know what I'm going to do with her. Maybe write an entire novel about her someday? If only there was time...

Draco spends a lot of time dealing with confusing decisions in this story. That's part of what makes him fun to write: he's always working with a little less information than most of the other characters. He's not the Head Auror or a high-ranking official in the Department of Magical Law. He's lived the majority of his adult life on the fringe of "polite society" because of his family's involvement in the war. So he spends a lot of time trying to work things our for himself based on what little he knows for sure plus a lot of personal insight and intuition. I really enjoyed writing his inner dialog as he puzzles through things.

Astoria is not dimwitted or disloyal in the slightest. She's a very strong character and Draco would be hopelessly lost without her. I don't think that Narcissa ever had to manage money before old Lucius passed away. I doubt that Cygnus and Druella would have considered that a "proper" thing for their youngest daughter to worry herself with and I'm confident that Lucius always made a big show of money being no concern for his family. All she had ever seen anyone do with money was spend it, and she probably trusted the Goblins implicitly to manage her financial affairs. That was a poor choice.

I mixed up the structure of the chapters a lot in this story, mostly based on what I needed to get done in each one. Three seemed like a good good number for the "scenes" in each chapter, but I don't think I stuck with it religiously.

I love Susan's gallows humor. Later on in the story, you'll meet a Beauxbatons professor who could be an older version of Susan. The motif works for me. I honestly don't remember whether Susan was telling Hugo to contact Ron or Al to contact Harry. Since it's sort of assumed that the two of them were together, I doubt that it mattered much to Susan.

A cliffhanger, you say? Well, you would certainly know one if you saw it. :p

Thank so much for brightening my Turkey Day! I always enjoy it when you stop by!


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Review #22, by Veritaserum27 Friends and Allies

15th November 2015:
Hello there Dan!

I'm here for the next chapter! I hope this review finds you well.

The Ron and Hermione scene was a real treat to read. I love how multi-faceted you've made both of them (not made, but rather, extended). It's how I see them as well. They're both really, really talented - and they have a softer side as well. Or rather in this scene - a naughty side. I'm sorta glad you stopped the scene just short of their tryst. It leaves a lot to our imagination - but you've set it up nicely enough that we know how it plays out ;)

At the same time, there's some valuable information here. Barsamian is looking less and less like the bad guy and more like a pawn who had little choice but to play the hand he'd been dealt. Agnar Cheshire... I'm going to have to look back through previous chapters, but I don't remember him being mentioned. To be honest, I thought he was going to say Rory Tennant - given his history of ineptitude and bad blood with the Auror department.

The scene with Goyle and Nott was disturbing and creepy and awesome. Your description of the effects of the curse made me shudder - you have such a talent for drawing not only images, but emotions in your reader. It also seemed right that Nott was the one to master the curse and not Goyle - I'd always categorized him in the slow department. The fact that all of the members of the New Blood Order were able to get jobs at the Ministry is even more disturbing. It seems that at every turn, Lady Tenabra has infiltrated even deeper than I thought. This is going from bad to worse. The poor witch who is their victim reminds me of Charity Burbage and her senseless murder at the beginning of Deathly Hallows.

The length of time Harry and Esme had to wait seemed to a waste for all the information Elena gave them. I'm highly suspicious that the missing Auror, Katerian, is in fact, Arabela Dynt - but I'm not going to cash in my chips just yet. There are several chapters left and you seem to have introduced quite a few characters that I don't want to rule anything out just yet.

Ooo! And then we get to meet the Head of the French Auror department. Very interesting, indeed...

If any fighting does break out, Iíll make sure that she remembers to follow orders.

Yeah... good luck with that, Harry. I have a feeling that you can keep Esme from doing anything that she has her mind set to do just as well as you could break an unbreakable vow...

Haha! I see Esme is along the same line of thinking as I am. However, it's a good thing Ricard Dauzat turned out to see the real picture. At least something is going well for our heroes.

I gotta admit, Arabela does make a good argument for Percy. I even know what she's up to and I'm still rooting for him. Go, Percy go! You got this! At the first read, I just glossed over Arabela's story about her family - I was being very, very confident (read: arrogant) that it was a bunch of claptrap because I already knew her real family history. But on my second read-through (okay... third or fourth - I know that I am responsibly for at least four of your reads on this chapter), I decided to pay attention. Mostly because, if I know you, there is at least something hidden there that will come to light later on in the story. And this question is still on my mind: if Arabela (as Lady Tenabra) is able to control the current Minister, why would she need Percy to take over the position? Hmmm... much to ponder.

I only saw one typo in this chapter:

Why are you suddenly so keen on seeing your boss out a a job?

It should probably be "...out of a job..."

I liked how the title tied in to each scene in this chapter. Barsamian might not be the enemy that the trio once thought, Goyle seems bound and determined to ally with Malfoy, Dauzat seems to be setting his allegiance with Harry and Arabela is "allying" with Percy to become the next Minister.

Thanks again for writing this awesome story!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! I've been busy lately, but who isn't at this time of the year? I suspect it will get worse before it gets better. :-/

I did my best to age all of the canon characters realistically in this story. Try to preserve some of the things that make them unique while also allowing them to grow into the roles and responsibilities that characterize later life. Ron and Hermione have been married for nearly 50 years at this point, but I wanted to show that they still found ways to make life fun. And yes, from a ToS standpoint, the scene had to end where it did. Feel free to let your imagination take it where you like.

I enjoy weaving pawns into the story. From reading ASLtW, I've come to suspect that you like your pawns, as well. They're a great way to keep the reader guessing about who's really responsible for what.

The scene with Nott and Goyle was interesting to write because of the mismatch between the tone and the content. The scene is brutal and violent and disturbing, but the tone of the conversation was light and almost... well, conversational. I was thinking a bit of the scenes in Pulp Fiction where Jules and Vince have these everyday sort of conversations while they're on their way to kill someone. The witch's death did have a bit of a Charity Burbage vibe, now that you mention it.

It's true that Elena didn't give Harry and Esme a lot of new information, but the locket... that was a bigger deal than it seems.

You're right. Harry will never have much luck convincing Esme not to do something if she thinks it's the right thing to do. He has a thing for that sort of woman, don't you think? ;)

Don't discount what Arabela tells Percy about her past. If you think about it, it might explain a few things...

Gah! Another typo! Thank you for picking them out. By the time you're done, this story will be so shiny!

Ha! I'll let you in on a secret: By the end of the story -- once I'd figured out how all the plot threads were going to come together -- I probably agonized more over the chapter titles than anything else. I wanted to find something short and pithy for each one that tied into the chapter's content.

Thank you again for reading. And for reviewing!

-Dan


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Review #23, by Veritaserum27 All Too Familiar

10th October 2015:
Hiya Dan,

You weren't kidding. Stuff is definitely happening here. And while this chapter didn't have any major action scenes, there was so much going on that this review is going to be pretty long. I'm actually concerned that I'll be restricted by the character limit.

I know I've said it before, but I sincerely appreciate the fact that you've clearly made these characters much more polished than their teenage selves. And you also don't gloss over the fact that age has a definite toll on people (I've read stories where it's mentioned in the firs paragraph that someone is in their sixties and then they go on to act like a twenty year old for the rest of the story). And it's the little details that make a good story a great story.

So I quite enjoyed reading the first section in the train station. Harry is still Harry - he's quick on his feet with the spells and never fails to impress us with his magic. Also, you've painted a picture of a great team with Harry and Esme - they work well together and it's almost as if they can anticipate each other's actions.

Then they get on the train and it's just so awkward, I was cringing.

Ďarry, do you intend to spend our entire trip making painful small talk, or shall we discuss what is obviously on both of our minds?

I'm beginning to like this chick. Let's cut to the chase, shall we?

ďI know it probably seemed like I couldnít forget about those days fast enough, but it really helped me figure out a lot of things. Made me realize what was really important, what I really cared about.Ē

Harry, Harry, Harry. How is it he tries so darn hard but the exact WRONG thing comes out of his mouth so often? I feel bad for him - a little bit, but I'm sorta on Esme's side at this point. It seriously seems like he was using her.

And then he tells his story - and I even know the story, but I'm still caught off guard that after all these years, there's still a part of him that feels the loss and insecurity. Harry is still Harry.

Haha - I love your creativity. George was awesome and I can just see those goofy ministerial baffoons floating in their princess dresses out over the street. On the other hand, I'm sure my daughter would have LOVED that kind of party when she was younger :)

The poorly cast monitoring spells, the obvious tails on the Weasleys, and all of the rest of it is making me nervous. Lady Tenabra is MUCH too deliberate and cunning to be so sloppy. Either she's putting a lot of faith in some completely inept followers (possible), or this is on purpose to use as a distraction while some other stuff is going down.

Either way, I'm very nervous that she's going to get some information out of Percy. He's just not as careful as the rest of them - and he's a bit gullible as well.

This is the first story I've read that has a scene at Beauxbatons and I LOVED your description of the school. It was perfect and seemed so fitting based on what we know in the books - and what I know from visiting France.

It seems like in each chapter you're able to take what we know from canon about magic and make it grow and expand in ways I never even dreamed of. The idea of expanding upon a hint of a memory from when you were very young and being able to see it in a pensieve is nothing short of brilliant. And you got me TWICE in the gut this chapter with the Harry feels - first in the beginning section where he recounts his childhood to Esme and then here, where he gets to revisit a memory in a way he never thought he would. It totally reminded me of the scene where Hagrid gave him the album of his parents. You definitely captured that moment so well! The crew seemed so innocent and young and alive it was beautiful and painful and heartwarming all at once.

I also love the concept of becoming a legilimens to make up for hearing loss - that makes SO much sense!

And I may be missing something, but I'm not exactly certain why Esme is angry about visiting Katerina's father - does she not like the word "squib" either, or is she upset that she has a possible barrier to getting the information she needs?

I think I caught a few typos. I'm not exactly sure if this first one is a typo or not, but it felt like a word was missing at the end.

That realization drove home another, equally painful.

On my first read through, it just sounded off to me, and then when I went back through and read it a few more times, I could see what you were trying to say - but perhaps the word "stab" or "wave" would make it sound more polished? I can see that you're referring to another "bludger" that was mentioned earlier, but because the bludgers were described at the beginning of the the paragraph preceding this sentence, it felt like something was missing here.

And these last three, I think are also typos...

Test score do not tell the whole story, Miss Osinalde,

-scores

Professor Turgeon, I understand that you have an duty of confidentiality to your students,

-should be "a duty" instead of "an duty"

With a final smile, she turned away and began to hobble towards her office. Harry watched her for a few moments, the followed Esme out the door.

-I think it should be "then followed"

I loved this chapter because I feel a little more connected to Harry and I feel like he's moving along toward solving the mystery. I can't wait to see what's next!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! Sorry I've taken a while to get to this. I wanted to take the time to patch up the typos before I responded to it.

Guess what? You're more than halfway done! I'm not sure how that makes you feel, but I'm excited. The pace really picks up from here to the end. Lots of happenings and (hopefully, if I've done my job right) the plot threads start to pull together.

Aging the characters realistically in this story was definitely the hardest part of writing it. I tried hard to find the essential things that made the characters who they were -- like George's sense of humor mixed with just a touch of vanity -- and preserve those things while letting the rest of the character age.

Harry and Esme do make a good team, at least when things aren't awkward.

Yeah, most of the time on the train was awkward. Harry still has a very limited understanding of the opposite sex and Esme has a lot of unanswered questions. Predictably, Harry's attempts to answer them don't go so well. He's trying to explain things in the way that makes sense to him, which doesn't play well for her at all.

Wow. I really, really appreciate the compliment about Harry's story. I don't know that there's a better reaction to get from a reader than to have them say, "I already knew what was going to happen, but it still affected me anyway."

Ah, George. I did not get to give him as much "screen time" as I would have liked in this story. In fact, I didn't get to give most of the characters as much as I thought they deserved. But he finds a ways to make the most of his moments.

Lady Tenabra definitely has inept followers, but she doesn't have faith in anyone other than herself. As you'll see, there's a reason why she doesn't mind relying on so many incompetent people. It all ties into her endgame.

I spent some time brainstorming with my beta reader about what Beauxbatons would look like and we both decided that the architecture and atmosphere should definitely be Renaissance-inspired.

To he honest, I decided on giving Harry his early childhood memory first and then I sort of backed into how the magic would have to work. This chapter is heavy on feels for Harry, and I thought it also helped to reinforce some things about him for Esme. I agree, it was also pretty neat. ;)

Esme is upset at the way Katerina's father treats her non-magical sister and as you'll see, there's no love lost between him and the French Aurors. It's not that he's prejudiced against his non-magical daughter the way that the Blacks or Malfoys might be, rather he shelters her from the world. It will be more clear in the next chapter. And I imagined that outside of Britain with its pureblood supremacist tradition, the world "squib" would be viewed almost like a racial epithet.

Thank you so much for picking out all the typos. Like I said, it amazes me how many have survived the years.

Thanks so much for all of the feedback and support! Can't wait to see what you think of the next few...

-Dan


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Review #24, by Veritaserum27 Deceptive Appearances

20th September 2015:
Hey there Dan,

Look at this! I'm working hard on my being a better reviewer/responder/HPFFer, etc...

I don't recall if I've mentioned this before or not, but I really like the fact that you separate your paragraphs with a few spaces (I think it might be 3?) It makes it much easier to read the story and it's aesthetically pleasing as well. I like it so much, I'm considering going back through my stories and doing the same (imitation is the highest form of flattery, perhaps?).

Back to Harry and Esme. So, I'm going to give her a bit more of a chance like you said and I do see the similarities between her and Ginny. The one difference I noticed is that Ginny always seemed so down to earth. She didn't need fancy stuff and definitely didn't make a fuss about silly, girly things. I think that may have been my favorite quality of hers and I always thought that was one of the things Harry loved about her. I definitely miss it in Esme, but as I said, I'm going to give it some time. :)

I will say, she is an absolutely brilliant witch in her own right. The fact that she could untangle the memories when even Hermione didn't have the slightest clue how to do it definitely gives her a few stars in my book. And I really loved the way you described the "unraveling" memory. It totally made sense, plus it added a little bit of drama to the story - I can feel the pressure that the group is working under when they only have a few chances to view the memory.

So the memory revealed what I had expected. Percy had nothing to do with Stoops's murder - it was all Tenabra. And while I'm quite certain it will be revealed that she is the "missing" French Auror with the memory-modification skills, I'm also quite certain that you have a few tricks up your sleeve along our path to get there.

Professor Rory Tennant. Could this name be an homage to Dr. Who? I wasn't aware you were a fan and maybe it's just a coincidence with the name. Nonetheless, I can see why this dude isn't an Auror anymore.

Rory Tennant didnít know it, but he had just set an upper limit on his own life expectancy. Once he was gone, she turned and disapparated.

This guy is a loser. Even I saw that coming.

Great job with the last scene. You have the right balance of humor, action and suspense. What I really, really loved about it was that they were successful with their overall plan. I always found it frustrating (and a little tiresome bordering on predictable) when every single one of the Golden Trio's plans would go awry at the last minute. It's nice to see they've gained some finesse and confidence with age.

Brilliant of Ron to get the wand - and he basically did that automatically and on the fly. There was no way he wasn't going to impersonate Rigel and seize the opportunity. I appreciate that you haven't made Ron into the oaf that many people do, putting him off as unable to react unless Harry and Hermione are directing him. I see him the same way - a brilliant Auror in his own right - often overshadowed, even if it isn't warranted.

Hmmm... is Cornfoot just a secondary character put in there to fill the time - or do you have something up your sleeve? I never know with you.

And haha - who doesn't get by with a little help from their friends? Susan Bones is another brilliant Auror. I like her better and better every time she makes an appearance. I can feel the camaraderie with this department. They know each other in a way that only working really closely for many years can come about. Clearly, this group has had to put their lives into one another's hands on many occasions. They've been through everything together and they always have each other's backs. Love it.

♥ Beth

Author's Response: 857-320-1690

Hi, Beth! I've told myself that I'm not allowed to let unanswered reviews linger for as long as I have been recently. Let's see whether I can keep to the plan.

I messed around with the formatting for a few chapters before I settled on the double-spacing. I find it's easy on the eyes. That's important when you can't stop yourself from writing chapters that are 6,000 to 9,000 words long. ;)

Good. That's all I ask is that you give Esme a chance. She might just grow on you. She is a very talented and powerful witch in her own right, as you're starting to see. The back story that she and Harry share is also a little more complicated than you've seen so far. Suffice it to say that she has good reasons to be cautious.

I really, really enjoyed writing all of the memory magic in this story. It was one of those little things that JKR dreamed up with the books that really appealed to me.

Yep, Percy was framed. At least, framed to himself. Is Lady Tenabra the missing French Auror? Hmmnn... we shall see... ;)

So here's the sad truth: I do not now nor have I ever watched Dr. Who. People tell me that I would enjoy it. At any rate, the name of the former Auror turned Hogwarts teacher was purely by accident. I was trying to think of something Scottish-sounding to go along with his accent. And you're right. He is a loser.

Even the golden trio has to have a plan go right every once in a while. Ron and Hermione did plan this out quite carefully, and even though some of the details didn't go quite they way they drew it up, the plan was robust enough to hold together.

I really don't like to see Ron written as the dim-witted third banana to Harry and Hermione. I don't recall him being that way in the books. Stubborn? Often. Goofy? Sometimes. Studious? Basically never. But he did always come through for them when they needed him and it wasn't by accident. If you like him in this chapter, there's a treat coming up for you later on.

Cornfoot was just a name that I pulled out of canon. The fact that he's related to someone who was at Hogwarts around the same time as the trio was a plus.

Susan is also about to come into her own in a big way. I think my 3-chapter "Susan Arc" starts in about 2 chapters. I hope you like it!

I'm really pleased that you're enjoying the story. The pace is about to pick up in a big way. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #25, by swtmix Epilogue

13th September 2015:
This story was absolutely fantastic. I only just got around to reading it on my kindle but could not put it down the whole way so spent the entire Sunday in bed and reading. Thank you. Excellent writing and drew me in from the get go.

Author's Response: I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. Thank you for the feedback and thanks for reading!

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