What a unique story! :D I NEVER thought anyone would've written a story pairing Bertie Bott and Myrtle. It's good to read that Myrtle had a friend, she made me feel sad every time I read about her. :(
Bertie's characterization was best. I loved loved loved him! He's a nice good claw, isn't he?
Hey, but I spotted that you've written "Bernie" instead of "Bertie" at a certain spot. ;)
Anyway, I loved this! Good job! =]
Author's Response: Haha yeah, I'm not sure where I came up with this pairing. :P I'm glad you enjoyed it, despite the odd pairing, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. (Sorry for the terribly late response, by the way). And thanks for catching that typo, I'll get on that!
I really liked this! I have never read a Bertie Bott story before, so this was very interesting and very refreshing and new! I really liked the whole plot - especially with Bertie and Myrtle - such an unusual pair, but one that you made work really well. I loved the introduction you gave of Bertie - of all the questions he asked and how they were actually time-wasters, it just really conveyed how different a character Bertie was.
I also really liked the progression to Honeydukes and the speech Bertie makes to Myrtle before she agrees to become partners :) I really loved how unique this was, great characters and a well-written story :)
Author's Response: Thank you once again! This actually started out as a story about Myrtle, and once I discovered that Bertie lived around the same time period, I couldn't help but throw him in there. From there on they shared the spotlight. As for the introduction, that was a commentary I'd been dying to pair with a character for some time, and Bertie turned out to be a great match. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Wow. Just wow.
What a unique story! I honestly never thought of Bertie Bott as a person. I mean, it makes sense, obviously--someone had to create the beans! But I just never really...connected it, haha. I feel a bit silly, actually.
You have such a beautiful writing style--it's almost poetic. But it has enough of a "novel" tone to it that it doesn't make it difficult to read.
I kinda wondered what would happen to Myrtle if she'd actually lived. It was just so sweet the way Bertie lifted her up and how his words saved her life.
Author's Response: No, I know what you mean. Some characters were just a thing, like Dr. Filibuster and Bertie Bott. He just grew out of nowhere in this, as it was originally entirely about Myrtle.
Me? Poetic? Wow, never thought of myself that way before. But I'll take your word for it! Readability is one of many things I strive for, so it's nice to hear that's present in my writing.
Above, I said how it was originally about Myrtle, and that plan centered on what would have happened if she'd lived. But then I went searching for ways that she could have been saved, and Bertie was born. Because she died as a result of being teased, so I needed someone to counteract that. And what you see here was born. ;)
Thank you for another great review!
First thing I have to say about this, I just need to get it out--Go Ravenclaw!
Ahem. Alright, I can be a little more expressive about the story now.
Bottom line, and I will begin with it, is that I love this! While honestly it took me a little while to get over the obvious deviation from canon, I love the way that you’ve portrayed Bertie, because it makes perfect sense that someone so inquisitive would be the one to come up with a line of every-flavour beans. Really. Reminds me of the character on Pushing Daisies that lives in the sewer--wants both the good and the bad to really experience things!
Back on topic: I also appreciate that you’ve strayed from the usual characterization of a Ravenclaw. You’ve created a really sweet (no pun intended, really) character who has depth and feeling. I’ve seen Ravenclaws portrayed as the stereotypical “smart” ones, the cut-throat-competition-loving, politically active, occasionally snobbish students. I’ve always thought that there was more, and you have it here! I’m so, so glad to see that as a fellow Ravenclaw (yey!) you view things the same way ;)
This is just a really cute story. I got really into it and was rooting for the pair only towards the very end of the story, because little old clueless me was still a little--well, clueless. I smiled almost continuously, unless I was nodding in appreciation, as I read this.
I also love the title here :) Very clever!
I find that as a reader I’m very partial to Bertie. I understand that the most important thing is not to create a character that everyone will love, but in this case, I can’t help but feel that his insight and his pure, good nature will result in this inevitably.
I also love the line about answers at the almost-end. I guess I sort of indentify with Bertie as someone who processes things internally. I keep to myself a lot, like Bertie seems to. But that reliance on another person is so nicely integrated, and a wonderfully crafty foreshadowing (I don’t know if you meant it to be or not, that’s just what I see!) of their eventual marriage.
I just want to say “it’s so cute” and “it’s so sweet” and “I just really love it!” about a hundred more times, but redundancy isn’t ever something that’s graded well in papers ;)
(your personal valentine’s day fairy!)
Author's Response: Woohoo! Go Claws! :D
Anyway, yeah, this started out as a story about how Myrtle could've survived. And then once I got Bertie in there, I couldn't stop, and the story swiveled to focus on him more.
As for Ravenclaws, it's pointed out at least once in the books, probably more, that intelligence is more than just good grades. Bertie is just one of many claws that had his own style of smarts.
Don't feel clueless, I think the ship wandered along halfway through the story and I liked it so much I kept it there. It's a kind of innocent romance, and sort of unthinkable anyway because Myrtle is so firmly rooted in my mind as dead dead dead.
Whoa! The idea isn't not to create a character everyone will love, it's to create one that has pluses and minuses, one that people can relate to, and still love despite all that! That's my view, anyway. :D I always love characters best when I have to take a step back and remind myself that they're not me. I'm so glad you liked him. ;)
You are the Valentine's Day Fairy! Thank you SO much!!!
Snowball fight review for you! I love how you've characterised Bertie Bott, a character which, I must admit, I've never given any thought to. His curiousity and overthinking of things is very well done and believable, and makes him seem real. I love the idea that Myrtle didn't die; that someone saved her, and that you've characterised her as someone other than the caricature she is in the books. Beyond that, though, you've written a very thought-provoking story about actions and consequences; quite philosophical and very Ravenclawish :P An excellent story, well done :)
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so pleased it got you thinking, because, in the end, that's a good story. When it gets you wondering after you've read the last sentence. I really wanted to give Myrtle a second chance, to say hey, if she lived, she may have been a good person. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I love Myrtle, so I was really excited to see that you had a fic about her. This was really interesting, as I've never really read anything about Bertie Bott before. I thought it was a good idea, and I like the way you characterized him. He seems like an interesting person, with all the questions that he had.
I also liked how you characterized Myrtle, because you didn't make her whiny and annoying like we see in the books. You just seemed to make her innocent, curious and hurt, which I liked. She seemed like a nice person and I felt pretty bad for her and what had happened.
I noticed one error here: 'but Bernie was just finding his stride.' I believe it should be Bertie instead of Bernie. Other than that, I didn't notice any other mistakes.
This story got me thinking, which I liked. Overall, I thought it was really well written and that you had a great idea here. Keep up the good writing and happy holidays! :)
Author's Response: You have no idea how happy it makes me that this one shot got you thinking. Ultimately, that is one of the most important things to me when I read, that I am pondering the story after I'm done.
I have no doubt that Myrtle was whiny and irritating, but I really wanted to show a side of her in this that also existed, one of a lost little girl. I wanted to give her a second chance, in a way.
I'll fix up that mistake there, silly me! Thank you so much for the review and happy holidays!
Hello, it's boysof_p0tterfan509 FINALLY here with your extremely late review :P Sorry for the excruciatingly long wait; life has been a right pain. But I'm here now, and I absolutely adored this one-shot.
To be honest, I've never seen nor heard of a story written about Bertie Bott, so I guess that fact may just make this much more wonderful. I truly thought that the beginning, when you were describing Bertie and his way of thinking, was very insightful. It made me think, how many people really sat around and asked those 'what if' questions, to themselves or aloud? In this one-shot, you really managed to embody what I think is a true Ravenclaw at heart. I had a feeling that this story might lead to his invention of his famous jelly beans, but I liked the fact that you tied Myrtle into that invention, putting her in a new, more flattering light than most people do. I think my favorite part of this one-shot was where you were describing Honeydukes in such detail that it really brought out the awe and connection that Bertie had towards it (since he would soon create Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Jelly Beans).
Thank you for taking the time to give my challenge a go, and congratulations on winning second place. :)
Author's Response: You know, the idea for this story came in the form of a question: what if Myrtle lived? It had nothing to do with Bertie in the beginning, but slowly he came to life and I then realized I had to include his jelly bean business. ;P Thanks for the absolutely lovely review, and for the fun challenge as well.
Lovely, remainded me so much of charlie and the chocolate factory (one of my favourite stories and also films), in the way that the poor downtrodden always seem to win through against the prigs in this world. And you captured it wonderfully. Keep up the good work and give the world more of your wonderful talent. Added you to my favourite story list so I will be following you closely. 10/10.
Author's Response: I like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory a lot as well, hence the chapter summary coming from a song in the film. :D I thought it summed the story up nicely. Myrtle did need to rise up against Olive, she certainly had the potential. Thanks a bunch for the lovely review!
Hello! I'm from the forums with your requested review. (:
The Good: This is one of the most original plots I have ever seen, on HPFF or elsewhere! I have never read a Bertie fic before and I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. Your 'inspiration flashes' are to be envied! I loved that Myrtle got to live and that she married Bertie - sososo cute!
The Critiques: You were concerned about changing Myrtle's and Bertie's characters halfway through the story. I thought you stayed very true to Bertie as you wrote him throughout; however, I do see this in Myrtle once you brought it up, although I don't know if I would have caught it otherwise. She seems a bit mroe docile and feminine in the second half of the story... I always gathered Myrtle to be a bit more of a pessimist. However, I like her docility, so if it bothers you enough to change it I'd suggest changing first half-Myrtle. (: Plot, grammar, and spelling were top-notch!
Author's Response: My inspiration flashes rarely work out like this, usually they don't make it through to a completed story. I'm pleased with this one though!
For the characters changing, I was worried about Bertie going from class clown to deep thinker, but it sounds like I patched up the beginning enough to make him work. I was definitely worried about Myrtle going from sobbing girl to quiet and in awe of everything. I'll probably try to average the two together, because I want some of the sobbing Myrtle to shine out so that she's familiar. Thanks for the helpful review!
This is awesome! I've never read a story about Bertie before. I love that you twisted it have Olive die and giver Myrtle the chance at a future other than the u-bend. Love, love, love it!
Author's Response: "A future other than the u-bend"... I like that! The story started out as just being a, "what if Myrtle lived?" idea, but of course it's never that simple. Then I had to get someone to convince her not to cry in a bathroom, but someone still had to die, and Olive was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... Thanks for the review!