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Hi, i love this chapter to bits.
When the punch line for Laura Macmillan popped out I nearly died laughing.  OMG!! that is too funny.
You have an amazing sense of humor.  Seriously. 
hmm, who is this evil Hufflepuff? I really am curious.

Author Response

Thank you so much! And we will meet her next chapter :) Spoiler: Her name will be Gwen Morgan. I felt it fit haha. And I'm glad you are liking it so much!

My favorite part was when Al and Rose were walking back from the Great Hall together. :) Rose is just like Hermione, so I think it's nice to have the 'When in doubt, go to the library' feeling.

Author Response

Yeah, I've modeled Rose more like Hermione in this story compared to others...Its fun writing her so different than in Pesky Parchment! :) Thanks for the review!

This is such a great beginning! I laughed aloud a couple times even :) The concept is unique, and one I've wondered about - how do all these kids feel having to live up to being named after famous dead people? Albus is so wonderfully characterized, even in just this first chapter. I found the scene with Laura MacMillan pretty realistic - the awkwardness was perfect and laughable, but you still feel for him. Poor Al! Well, I really can't wait to find out who this Hufflepuff lady is (she sounds like a bit of a bad a**, which is swet) and see what Albus has gotten himself into (if that is the case). Update soon, please!

Author Response

Wicked! I'm so happy you liked it so much :D I really do feel bad for Al haha, even though I'm the one doing it to him technically. This will be updated soon I hope, because I really love writing Albus !

Al is very. interesting. When we first hear about him we of course assume he will be an anti-social type and study all the time, but then when we get into your story it's like 'Wow he's his own person!'. It's refreshing to hear a new point of view in the story. I think my favorite part was when he is jinxed. Just because it's by a girl hufflepuff! Which is like the exact opposite of a guy slytherin. YAY. Update soon plllease!
10/10
Miss Person

Author Response

Updates should be coming soon! Thank you for leaving this review, it made me smile :D haha, I love hearing everyones thoughts on Al as a character, since thats kind of the basis of the story.

I love, love, love this! Please update soon :D

Author Response

THANK YOU :D I will be! So be on the look out

Hehe!!  I loved it!  Expecially - Albus, come on now! What have I taught you? Posture! Stand up straight! And you better say it with conviction! Its pronounced A-va-da Ke-dav-ra. Okay. Go ahead, and keep your center of gravity balanced. 

It seems like a lovely idea for a story, I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author Response

Thank you! Rose is going to be a piece of work for Al in this haha.I'm glad you liked it so much!

I love your characterization of Al. :) And the last part was so funny! Oh man, I'm just really impressed by this opening chapter. I can't wait to read what you post in the future. :)

Author Response

Thank you! This review is full of awesome...once again, thanks!

Hey! It's me from the forums to review your story!

First off, awesome concept. I don't think I've read a story where Al isn't less than thrilled with his name. Shouldn't Harry and Ginny have thought of that when they named him? The cruel, sadistic nature of parents. *shakes head*

My favorite part had to be when he imagined Rose teaching him the proper way to cast the Killing Curse. Very funny, and possibly very true.

My only criticism is that you need to work on the flashbacks. I think that you can move into them much smoother. Also, be careful of using too much prose and not enough action. Readers could be irritated by that. 

Great job so far! I wish you all the best with this story. I just might peek in from time to time to see how its going.

XOXO,
EI

Author Response

Thank you so much! Sorry this took me so long to respond...and yeah I think I may go back and edit the flashbacks...I agree they do seem a little choppy now that you mention it. THANK YOU! I appreciate so much :D

I like this, it's nice. I can't wait so see where it goes :)

Author Response

I'm glad! It will be going some very interesting places!

I feel bad for Al too! The poor kid... I would hate if what happened on his first date happened to me. Now... who is this Hufflepuff?

xoxo
~Marcia

Author Response

hey marcia! Yeah it would be terrible >.< but better Al then us...*cough* haha, we'll see who the hufflepuff is soon!! thanks for reviewing

i loved it :D especially the first date bit, iv always thought that albus would hate his name + that it would get in the way of certain  parts of his life. 
i cant wait to find out who this sneaky hufflepuff is ;) update soon please :D

Author Response

yeah the first date was pretty horrific haha but yeah we  will all get to find out just who she is once the next chapter is posted which I hope will be soon!

it's amazin'...totally

Author Response

thank you!!

Oh. My. Gosh. This story? Utter brilliance. 

Seriously, I honeslty LOLed at points. Really. There was the point when he was imagining what Rose would say to him if he tried to kill her. "A-va-da Ke-da-vra." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The date was great, too. "It would be like kissing a dead Albus Dumdledore!" So totally had me in hysterics. Evven though I love Albus Dumbledore, and, before he came out of the closet, I wouldn't have minded kissing a dead him:) Er, just kidding. Because he's old. And fictional. And gay. Cough.

ANNYway. "I think she just insulted my mother." I laughed so hard there. I don't even know why. Perhaps because it was funny.

"A GIRL in HUFFLEPUFF just jinxed me." Wow, Al, that's, like, sexism. And houseism. IN THE SAME SENTENCE. 

Though still hilarious.

Great job! I can't wait for the next chapter!

Squid

Author Response

Utter Brilliance? Wow! Thank you haha and I think its fun writing Rose not from her POV cause I get to make her like that xD Thanks for another great review ! Next chapter should be up soon I hope!

gosh I love it! really 
please continue it!!! 
I loved the last part when he scream hahahahah

Author Response

haha yeah (: I will definitely continue. more should be up soon!

Hello! I wanted to leave a review to let you know I found this chapter very, very funny. My favourite part was the image of Rose coaching Al on the proper technique for murdering her. That definitely made me giggle, and so did the end when Al is just so indignant at being hexed by a Hufflepuff rather than a Slytherin.

The way you've written Al is great in that you make the reader (well, me, at least!) empathise with him. He seems like a real person with a distinct personality rather than a flat character in a story. This is a great start and I can't wait to see where you go with this story.

Author Response

Woah. A validator has never come back to review before. This is exciting! But thanks so much, its always good to know that people think it is actually funny because I always wonder about that...thank you for a very helpful review!

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