Reading Reviews for By the Light of the Moon
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Laura Henderson Midnight Murmurs

7th July 2017:

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Review #2, by heymjm Midnight Murmurs

25th August 2011:
Good attention to detail. High anticipation. Next chapter please.

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Review #3, by Enitsirk Midnight Murmurs

24th August 2011:
I think it seems like a wonderful story, although the first chapter was so long I took two days to read it because I'm really busy. Haha. But I like it. There are plenty of grammer mistakes, missing words, and odd spacings, but that's just mechanics. I was kinda mad that Remus didn't get to tell him, but at the same time I know that he is afraid of them turning their backs on him. That's clear. I would like to see more of other characters. Like maybe they have a few more friends than just each other. Or maybe Remus has a study buddy or something. Also, I suggest you use those division lines. They'll help with the flow, because it'll be clear that something else is going on. Overall, great job!

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Review #4, by TheGoldenKneazle A Dangerous Secret

23rd August 2011:
Hi there! It's me off the forums with your review :)

The idea you have for this story is really interesting; Remus's story has never really been charted all the way through. This was also a pretty good place to start it, while his friends don't know and with a great backstory. That was really good.

I think you have Remus down very well in this - upset about his 'condition', worried for and about his friends, up for a laugh but think they're taking it all too seriously. I think he's a bit too scared of Dumbledore, though - DD was always really kind to him and Remus didn't really have a reason to be scared!

I also love their group together. You have all four of the Marauders written really well; Sirius with his recklessness and pride, James with his carelessness yet caring side, and you haven't made Peter a total stupid outcast like lots of biased fics tend to do - I think you've written him in a pretty canon waym which is really good.

I really liked this chapter - the only problem is that it's a pretty daunting 8000 words, which can put people off. You might want to split it up into several shorter chapters to make it easier to read!

But great job - keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you for the great review! I really try to keep the Marauders personalities close to what JK had in mind, yet also take them places of my own envisioning. I want to write something really good for Peter, so he's not such a cliche character. I want to explain why the other guys even like to hang out with him. Thanks for saying I write a good Remus! He's pretty hard to capture I think; he's a Marauder, but like it says in the books, he's also cautious and not as wild as James or Sirius. I'm trying to break up my chapters better, though my upcoming ch. 3 is pretty long as well.

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Review #5, by lemonpeeps A Dangerous Secret

18th August 2011:
As to answer your questions:

You approched the Remus being a wearwolf very well. You took it seriously and expanded on what JK Rowling said and made this very not cliche.

Maybe put an * inbetween the paragraphs where the scene changes, that will help the flow a little bit. I kind of got confused when I didn't notice there was a bigger gap in between the paragraphs and you started talking about something else.

Your characterizatin well done, although I would like a little bit more on James. You developed Remus very well, Peter is the obvious sidekick, Sirius I can tell is in the making, but James is still in the shadows.

The first chapter was a little long in my opinion but it flowed fairly well so I wasn't too bothered. Your tension at the end of the chapter with Sirius, does make me want to continue. Props for your hard work!

I did notice that you used 'boy' a whole bunch in the beginning paragraphs. Maybe use other pronouns like the others or the trio. Spice it up a little!

Happy Writing
lemonpeeps ox

Author's Response: Thank you Lemonpeeps! I'd actually thought about making some sort of separation b/w the paragraphs as well, I'm going to that next time! The first chapter was def very long, it was my first ever submission, and now I know to split it up makes for easier reading. I will def develop James in the next chapters!

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Review #6, by coyote_shivers Midnight Murmurs

14th August 2011:
I love the play on "wrong" when Sirius says he knows something's wrong, and Remus shouts that there's nothing wrong with him. Of course that great bumbling Hagrid would ruin their moment! This was such an emotional chapter! Can't wait until Sirius finds out!

Author's Response: Thank you!! I hoped someone would get that "wrong" thing! It was very annoying to type Hagrid's bumble speak. I haven't decided when Sirius and the gang will find out yet, I have to draw it out over few more chapters. Hurry up and write your story so we can review Nicholas and Albus!!!

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Review #7, by sunday sunday Midnight Murmurs

13th August 2011:
i love this ! it's so good ^^ i think you capture all of the marauders so well, taking a few of the traits we see of them in the books and completely expanding them into full personalities! well done! please CONTINUE !
-sunday ./.

Author's Response: Thank you Sunday!!! It's so good to get good feedback on my story! So glad to hear you think I did a good job on the marauders, I tried really hard to get their dialogue down, the way I thought they would talk in the books. I see you've got a few stories up yourself, I'll be sure to check them out and review! :)

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Review #8, by Lady Snape of Spinners End Midnight Murmurs

12th August 2011:
This chapter is SOOO good I don't even know what the best part was! I loved the part where Sirius knew exactly why Peter hadn't come looking for him. Also when Lupin was about to tell all, I can see why Sirius would be deathly curious to find out what "arrangements with Dumbledore" meant. I really felt like I was reading a real Harry Potter book.

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Review #9, by Joanna A Dangerous Secret

3rd July 2010:
Are you still working on chapter two because I would LOVE to read it! I hope you have not abandoned this story... please don't. For the sake of you eager readers, please don't.

Author's Response: Joanna, I know you wrote this a comment a year ago, but I have just now started working on my story again! I finished chapter two, soon to be followed by the amazing chapter 3! Thank you so much for reading!!! I'm so sorry that it took forever to finally get back to my beloved fanfic

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Review #10, by AlastairWeasley A Dangerous Secret

24th November 2009:
Great story! This is the best Lupin story Ive read so far. I loved how you gave us the story of him turning into a werewolf. Also the part with the boggart was amazing. post chapter two!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love writing this story from Lupin's point of view, and I'm working on chapter two!

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Review #11, by Macca's Marauders A Dangerous Secret

13th November 2009:
Excellent writing! I loved revisiting with old friends and finding out more about their history, for example, how the Whomping Willow came to be. The boggart incident with all four boys was exceptional. J.K. couldn't have done better herself. Can't wait for the next chapter!

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Review #12, by Lady Snape of Spinners End A Dangerous Secret

13th November 2009:
I love this chapter!!! You're a great writer and the story really keeps me wanting to read the next chapter. The characters jumped off the page and seemed real! I especially loved the part when you gave us Remus's backstory, and the part when they all fought the boggart! Give us chapter 2 soon!

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Review #13, by Rumor A Dangerous Secret

12th November 2009:
This is extremely well written. Your imagery is fantastic--especially that opening scene by the lake. You really capture the thoughts and emotions of the characters, and the added bonus of people like Molly make it a fun read.
I really enjoyed this! Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading my fic!!! I'm glad you liked the lake scene and the part with Molly. There will be more of her in the second chapter, which I'm working hard at right now! :)

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Review #14, by cia_wia A Dangerous Secret

12th November 2009:
I loved it! You were really able to take the boys that Rowling only lets us see through hearsay and memories and turn them into solid, believable characters. I can't wait to see what happens when Remus finds the angst-ridden Sirius!

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Review #15, by LunaLuver A Dangerous Secret

12th November 2009:
Amazing!!! I loved it, cant wait to see what happens next. I loved how you put Molly in there, will we be seeing more of her? Keep up the good work, and please, update soon! :~)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading my fic! I can't wait to put up the second chapter, it's going to be called "The Intercepted Letter"!

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Review #16, by LunaLuver A Dangerous Secret

12th November 2009:
Amazing!!! I loved it, cant wait to see what happens next. I loved how you put Molly in there, will we be seeing more of her? Keep up the good work, and please, update soon! :~)

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