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Story: Pop Culture and Me: Tales of a Muggle-Born

Hey! Its Perelandra again! 

I cannot stop laughing! I love it! Wish you would've done it longer thought. XD But that's my Sailor Moon fan speaking. I love how Remus was very much in character as well as Peter. Candice just cracks me up! And it makes me sad that this is complete! Man! I would've read more, definitely. Well, I have nothing more to say aside that this has GOT to be the greatest SM/HP humor crossover.  Anyway, that's all from me! :D Keep writing!

Author Response

Hey hun! I am super happy you enjoyed this! No worries either, cause I plan to add more when I get a chance :D

Well, I have nothing more to say aside that this has GOT to be the greatest SM/HP humor crossover. - aww yay :3

Hey! Its Perelandra with your review!! I've been dying to read your fanfic so I'm ubber glad to be able to do so now. I've never read Death Note but I know the premise of it. I DID watch the anime here and there but I found it too emo for my liking. And I found Light annoying. Plus, I missed a couple of episodes so then I was lost and gave up. Hahaha. But to each their own, right? Anyway, I'm going to be reviewing this as I go:

"The only person who she had ever allowed to call her by that horrid nickname was now died."~ 'Died' should be 'dead'. I've seen that someone else has pointed this out in a review but hasn't been changed. I went ahead and pointed it out again just in case you forgot! :)
 
"she saw just enveloped her, to the point that she would daydream about being a part of the story."~~~ I believe there's no coma after 'her'. 

"It wasn’t something she could ever bring herself to write in, just in case, but she always had it with her... just in case." That made me giggle because it would be something I would've done back in my teens. Just in case...

"So what’s a Death Note hmm? You seem awfully protective of it,”~~~ there should be a coma after 'note'.

"Candice said with just a hint of shyness, as if she didn’t really want to tell them but now she had too.", "Or at least pretended too"~~~ Change Too to to.

"It was probably the only place in the entire castle and the grounds that the Marauders weren't know for popping up out of nowhere at."~~~ change 'at' to 'from'.

The idea of Severus being like Light is genius! I like it! I never thought about it, really. Also, I really enjoyed the prank bit. It was brilliant! I'm glad that Severus was able to get back to the Marauders at least once in his life. By the way, don't think I'm being mean by pointing out the grammar mistakes. Your story was great, everyone seemed to be on character so the only thing I could critique on was the grammar. There's not a lot, however. Anyway, I'm going to read chapter 2 now.

Author Response

I've seen that someone else has pointed this out in a review but hasn't been changed. - yeah I changed it on my word doc but not here lol

That made me giggle because it would be something I would've done back in my teens. Just in case... - lol we all probably would have x3

Severus and Light hehe that actually came to me while writing and I just had to add it. And no worries on the mistakes, believe me I want to know! :P But I am glad everything else was in order and that you enjoyed the story!

Ok, first off, confession time. I <i>may</i> have done some homework before even reading your chapter. I had never heard of Death Note before, so I wiki-ed it and read the entire article.. this lead to two more lost hours looking up old manga/anime's that I <i>had</i> heard of and forgotten about. But that is another story entirely.

Second off, yay! This was awesome! I (sadly) can completly relate to Candice's heartbreak at the death of a ficitonal character. She is pretty hilarious though - the entire life she has planned out with L. And I love that she has her own Death Note, one that she is too afraid to write in "just in case".

Third, I LOVE the Marauder's in this! There is no one else I can think of that deserves to be pranked more than them. And I also love the fact Candice managed to talk Snape into helping her out with it. Basically I loved it all. XD

Now, I guess I will attempt to be a <i>little</i> constructive and point out some spelling mistakes you said you were concerned about.

"... she just felt a great urge to <i>wonder</i> and observe what was happening as L would do" (should be <i>'wander'</i>)

"<i>Expect</i> he would have done <i>in</i> surrounded by sweets and computer screens ..." (should be <i>'except'</i> and <i>'it'</i>)

"... Sirius asked jokingly<i>,</i> he obviously thought she was crazy." (not a spelling error, but <i>','</i> should be <i>';'</i>)

"... from James who had become silent at the <i>perceived</i> sudden revival of his enemy." (again, not a spelling error, but the word <i>'percieved'</i> doesn't seem necessary here, it clutters up the sentance.)

I think there might have been more, but it's rather late at night right now and I can't find them for the life of me. Therefore, they must be insignigicant. 

I think I might have to read the second chapter in this, even though you only requested this one! I love sailor moon... XD

Author Response

Thanks for pointing out the errors hun :) I am still trying to find a beta for this one hehe and I am glad you liked it even if you did "waste" several hours hahah 

And your right, I couldn't possible see using anyone else but the Marauders even if Death Note wasn't even around then lol it just fit so well xD

Thanks for the great review!!

very lovely.

i thought that this was a very interesting start to a story. i have never read anything even close to this so that is something that i am sure would please you. i thought that some points throughout this were jumbled and confusing but that could be just how i read it. it's just something that you should look out for as you continue to write. 

here are the errors that i could find:

*The only person who she had ever allowed to call her by that horrid nickname was now died.

^^ change the last word to dead

*It was probably the only place in the entire castle and the grounds that the Marauders weren't know for popping up out of nowhere at.

^^ should be 'known' rather than know

*The brilliant Tsugumi Ohba and the legendary Tsugumi Ohba

^^ are these supposed to be different people or the same?

overall, i thought that this was a very original story. i loved the fact that Candice decided that it would be fun to get back at the Marauders. that is something that does not happen much and so i thought that it was nice that you added that to this story. lovely job. keep on writing.

Author Response

"are these supposed to be different people or the same?" ... dang it copy and paste!!! hahahah I will fix that right away xD thanks for finding the other errors as well.

Anyways, I am glad you liked it and that it wasn't like anything you have read before yay! Thanks for the review! :D

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