Harry Potter Fanfiction – Read Over 85,000 Stories!

I like it. The characters seem really genuine and believable. I like the humour too...

Author Response

Hey Fireflash. Thank you for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Ahaha, that is good! I would feel sorry for Scorpius if I didn't know he deserved it. =P I'm interested to see if Dom is really interested in Lorcan, or if she's just 'going for another one'. =P Whichever it is, it would definitely change things between James and his friends. ^_^ All in all, I really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work!

Author Response

He DID deserve it! Again, another stereotype buster. Scorpius not a tortured soul who hates his father, but instead, an spoilt little brat who takes after him in pretty much every way. 
Dom is a funny one. I've had a few comments from people saying they hate Dominique in this, but I love it! She's so funny and great to write. You'll see more of her... in ways that will change James and his friends friendships even more.
Thanks for reading!
Chele

Aww, that was really sweet of him. Poor Hugo, it must be difficult for him. I can't wait to see what kind of revenge James would pull on Scorpius. =D I like your characterization with Lily here, I don't think I haven't seen her portrayed this way so it's really interesting to read. ^_^ Good work! Off to the next chapter!

Author Response

I am loving that you've reviewed all chapters by the way, AWESOME! 
Anyway, yeah, I think this was another of my stereotype busting chapters. I've seen a lot of fanfics where James is either a womaniser, or a complete self-obsessed prat, so I wanted to show that he is a good kid who really cares about his family. - Again, this will be shown again later on.
Also, as for Lily... well, you'll see a change in her, but there is no way she will be becoming a mary-sue perfect potter child. She'll still revert to running to Daddy every so often. he he.

Lol, that is a good prank! I wonder if anyone would find out that it was them. =P Hmm, I'm thinking Roxanne has a crush on Lorcan. That should get interesting... :P 

All in all, nice chapter! Keep it up!

Author Response

Thank you for the comment on the prank. I love this prank! There will be some more in the pipelines, just watch this space. 
As for Roxanne having a crush on Lorcan... well, you just need to read on. 
Chele.

I really like it! The chapter flows nicely, and the conversation between the best friends was a lot of fun to follow. I like that the four of them sort of resemble the Marauders, but not completely. ^_^ Come to think of it, the four of them were kind of representing house unity too, each of them being in a different house. =P 

I love the relationship between Lysander and Lorcan, and Lorcan's resentment toward the Quibbler was also understandable. I wonder if his parents know about that... The plot is going well too, I like the laidback feel to it. ^_^ Anyway, good job. Keep it up!

Author Response

Hey again.
Thank you for reviewing again, it means a lot. I'm also very happy you liked the 'one from each house' spin on things. Of course, they have their connections outside of Hogwarts, but I liked the idea of having the different personalities that make up the houses. 
Lorcan and Lysander are very cool. This came about through an RPG where i play both twins, so I wanted to keep that love/hate dynamic between them. and for the record, yes, Luna does know about Lorcan's resentment, but she thinks he'll come around eventually. lol.

Nice start! I love how you wrote the family dynamic between them, and though Lily was annoying, it was also funny to watch her annoy James. <i>"Oh, so I'll tell Teddy he should put on a pink dress and change his hair then should I Lil'?"</i> Lol, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing them in Hogwarts together. Keep up the good work!

Author Response

Hey there Potterholic. 
I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I have found in reading quite a lot of Next-Gen fanfiction, that Albus is a tortured soul, Lily is perfect, and James is a prat. I wanted to break that stereotype (in fact, I've tried to break one in every chapter. lol) 
You will see quite a lot of Lily/James arguments in the story, so I'm glad you enjoy it. 
Chele

great...though i thought James had more of a Sirius in him.y'know,Womanizer.:)

Author Response

Hi there. Thank you for reading and reviewing. 
I think the important thing to remember is that James is only fourteen in this story, and as for Sirius, well, I've never really been a fan of him being a womanizer, especially in Hogwarts stories. They're just teenagers. 
Chele.

I like your fresh take on the Next Gen. Lily being an annoying brat is new to me, I dig it. I think you have a very natural style, and your dialogue and characterizations are great. I like Ginny and Harry, and James's narration is great. Good job!

Author Response

Thank you very much. I read so many stories where Lily is perfect that I just had to make her annoying. She's a younger sister, James is pretty much going to find her annoying whether she was perfect or not, and seeing as it's his narrative... well, she's got to be a complete brat. lol. 
Thank you for your lovely comments, they mean a lot. Please keep reading.
Chele

really good.I'm really liking the way this is turning out...poor James, that would really suck to be him at that moment...though it would probably be just as bad for Lorcan, (probably worse) 10/10!

Author Response

Hi there. Sorry for late reply.
Yeah, James and Lorcan won't be the happiest of bunnies in the next chapter, and they won't be the best at being sportsman like either, I'm guessing a few people are going to get hurt. (and seeing as I'm writing it, my guesses are usually pretty accurate. he he)

Thank you for reviewing. Sorry it took so long to respond. 
Chele

i really like this story!!  it's a really good Next Gen fic, and everything fits in well.  your dialouge and characterization is really good!  and i also like your flow, you seem to fold everything in and tie it together real easily.  again, i like your idea of James!  how he doesn't really want to live up to his father, and his idea of his cousins and siblings.  great story, and good luck with the rest of it!!  as i said on my review thread, i'd only read the first four chapters of a novella/novel.  this a great story, and thank you for requesting!!

10/10 overall
--ron.weasleyxo

Author Response

I'm really glad you like this story, it holds a certain happy place in my heart because it is my 'first' of quite a few things. It's my first novel length fanfic where I am trying to use humour in a more outlandish way, it is my first next gen, and it's also the first time I am writing a novel length about hogwarts. I usually stick to one shots and stories about the adults in Harry Potter, so this means a lot. 
Thank you for reviewing.
Chele

great job!  i like this chapter, he he.  it's funny, along with the emotions & diolauge, it's awesome.  i really like your descriptions, and situations.  the humor is there, and again i think it's one of your strong points!  i think the characterization you give James is flawless, it seems like he is a real trouble maker!  another wonderful chapter :D

10/10
--ron.weasleyxo from the fourms

Author Response

Hi there ron.Weasleyxo, 
I'm so sorry for such a delay in replying, there was a few personal things happen that meant I hardly came to the site, and didn't have time to reply. so here I am now. 
Thank you for reviewing, your kind words mean a lot and I am really glad you are enjoying the story. Humour has never been something I worked with that well before, especially not outright humour, I was more a sarcastic dark humour writer before, so I am really happy you think it works.

Chele

woah. woah woah. James caught the snitch? Did you make up the rule about that? haha i was a bit disappointed when they didn't win but it was really good. I liked the quidditch scene,, you managed to create a lot of excitement within me when i read that. I really liked it!

Good job with this chapter, i liked it. I like how you made Scorpius all upset you are doing a great great job portraying him. dun dun dun.

i'm trying to think if i have any cc but i don't. You've progressed lately so much as a writer and that's wonderful. Keep up the good work!

Author Response

I love writing Quidditch. It's so easy to get swept up in the fast paced 'oh my god'ness of it all. Sometimes I worry that other people don't get that from reading it, so I'm glad you did. 
I will admit, it was SO tempting to make Scorpius go off with an injury like his dad would have done. lol. I avoided it... just! This way it's funnier. 

Thank you for all your lovely reviews!
Chele

uhoh. I'm not totally sure i like the triangle thing going on here. Uhuh. That sometimes can lead to a cliche just to warn you. You're doing a great job with it but sometimes if you go too far into that idea it can be somewhat cliched. I like how far you are going with it.Just enough

Good job on this chapter. You're improving!

Author Response

I promise you... with no fingers or toes crossed... that it isn't a love triangle really. You'll learn more as we go on, obviously, but it will never become the main story. Just a kind of side plot that James might slowly come to realise it going on. At the moment, he's a bit oblivious.
Chele

Wow your story has quite honestly picked up a lot. I really like it. I like how Scorpius is not completely a centered character in your story. I like it a lot. (sorry my review is so short. gahhh) but i like the fact that you are adding more descriptions, have no grammatical errors from which i can spot or what not. I thought this was a good chapter. Your descriptions have gotten a lot better and i'm really seeing improvement in your work. I like to look for improvement in work because it just shows how far an author has came. Great job girl!

Author Response

The Cliche bashed here... Scorpius is a tortured soul, nothing like his father. - Yeah, I think I got it across that he's a brat, right? 

I think the fact you've said I've got more description here kinda goes with what I was saying about not liking a lot of description in first chapters. I can't stand it when people go into the tiniest detail of an OC or something right off the bat. 
Thank you for reviewing.

UM. UM *DIES OF SHOCK* ALL MY REVIEWS GONE FOR YOUR STORY?!?! NOT FAIR. GAH! I'll have to re-review. But i like reviewing and since i have a snow day today it will keep me busy!

I totally remember reading your story. Where my reviews are i don't know. That always frustrates me. But i totally love reviewing and since i like your stories i'll re-review JUST FOR YOU! That rhymed, i've always wanted to go into a rhyming business. thehe

So i really like your idea, it's formulated really well. I remember the last time I read this, it wasn't as much detailed? Am i correct? 

I like your idea of Lily being the "bratty sister" in the family and it's interesting reading some of James' perspective you never find much of the next generation with him! hehe. 

I feel like you could have developed the first chapter more, you should add some more descriptions and a bit more to it. It was a bit dull on the excitement side but i understand this is just your opening and for your opening it was overall quite good.

Author Response

Wo, that's weird. I was sure i had reviews from you on this story. Weird. 
Anyway, Rhyming business. AWESOME! 
I'm really glad people like the fact it's based on James where it's not a romance story with an OC. I've found so many of those, I'm getting bored. So I decided to destroy a Next Gen Cliche for every chapter. This one: Lily is Perfect, James is a git. - Bashed I think. 

I will admit, I'm not the best person with first chapters. I usually like them to be shorter and a small glimpse into what is to come. Hence why not as much development. But I will look into it. :)

Thanks again!

I finished what you've got so far!...And I love it! That was so good! I love Hugo, though i don't know why...anyways thanks!

Author Response

Perfectly welcome. 
Hugo is a sweetheart. One of those innocent boys that you just want to cuddle. At least, that's the way I see him. 
Thank you for the review. Much appreciated.
Chele

another great job.  i like your descriptions in this chapter, how you explained the feeling that James has for Hogwarts.  some sort of haven, as i recall.  and i'm enjoying the humor, you've certainly got a knack for it!  it's quite funny to see all the brother and sister relationships.  James, Lily and Ly and Lor.  i like the creativity too, it goes a long way!

another great chapter!! 10/10
--ron.weasleyxo from the forums :D

Author Response

Funnily, I've found that the brother/sister relationships are usually left out of next Gen fanfiction. People pick one of the characters and run with them for a romance fic, and ignore the rest of the family. Personally, I think it's one of the greatest ways to make it believable. Most people know what it's like to fight with a sibling. 
Thank you very much for the review. I appreciate it!
chele

i haven't done many Next-Gen stories either, but so far i like this story.  your plot is a good, easy to follow story line and i like that.  the character that you give James is very relateable, and i think it's one of your strong points in this story.  the diolauge is great, not to much, and not too little!  i like the relationship [if you can call it that] between James and Lily.  it's very comical to see the older brother's side.  good job so far! 10/10

--ron.weasleyxo from the forums :D

Author Response

Thank you so much for the review, it's greatly appreciated. I've found that for some reason, James is ignored in a lot of the Next Gen stories. Maybe because he is older than Rose, Albus and Scorpius, and people want to use them more. I also find that Lily and Rose are usually made out to be perfect, which puts me off. Even Harry, Ron, and Hermione weren't perfect, which makes them lovable. 
Sorry, rambling. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Chele

This is my 100th review! Well, 100th after the site crash wiped out my account, anyway..

So, I believe I've already reviewed this story earlier, and I still like it a lot. Just wish the chapters were longer, that's all..

Oh, and the triangle (roxy- lorcan- dom) seems not- nice, but I'm sure you'll come up with something.

Happy new year!

Author Response

Congrats on your 100th review! 
To your comment about the chapter lengths... Well, I like to have the chapters focusing around one thing mainly, and I don't want to pad them out with useless stuff just to make them longer. However, I will make you a deal and say that if the chapters are shorter, then there will be more of them. :) 
Ahhh, it seems a few people think that about the little triangle going on. Of course, at the moment, it's not a triangle, but you'll learn more about that later.
Thanks for reviewing.
Chele

:) i know what you mean about reviews... they make you smile when you get one even if its just a few scentences long :) love the story! loved malfoy making a fool out of himself... and i'm excited to read about this lovely love triangle you're developing! :) update soon!

Author Response

Thank you very much. And I am grinning now, but I will admit that you can't take all the credit. I JUST finished writing chapter 6. Hopefully I can post it tomorrow evening.
I'm glad you like the story. This is one of the few stories I have going that constantly has me smiling. My others will make me moody and sad sometimes, but this is such a feel good story, that I love it.
Hopefully you'll like the next chapter as much as I do. :)
Chele

This is rly good!Keep going!

Author Response

Thank you very much. I will do, but you have four chapters yet. he he.

Ah, update quick, please!! Love the story the way it's going, please, please don't lose updates..

Happy holidays, and the new year!

:D

Author Response

Thank you for your review, a happy new year to you too! 
I will try to update as soon as possible. I have a few stories I need to catch up, so I'll be working on all of them over the next month while I juggle my job as well. lol. Darn real life. *huffs*

Thank you for the review, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

great story i really like it...keep writing more please

Author Response

Will try to. Thank you very much for the review. Sorry it's taken so long.

Really liking your story. Please update soon! I'm hating Scorpius right now.

Author Response

Thank you. 
I am so sorry for the long absence. With a new job and personal responsibilities, I've not been on the site as much as I was before. I will try to update as soon as possible.

So cute with the Lorcan/Lysander thingy. I love Lorcan already haha. Really enjoying your story.

Author Response

Thank you very much. I really love Lorcan and Lysander too. They're so adorable each in their own ways. In fact, there will be the creation of a new word for Lysander... adorkable.

Reviews (49 found)

JOIN HARRY POTTER FANFICTION