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I like the conversation between Lupin and the twins in this chapter. I think it was very well written. I think Lupin gave them just enough of a hint that he was Moony without actually telling them out right.

The transition between the begining and the flashback was rough, though. It took me a couple of line to realize that what I was reading was occuring at a different time. I suggest writing the flash back in italics or something to make it obvious to the reader. It will cut down on the confusion.

I like this idea so far, and I think it's very clever. Keep up the good work, and feel free to rerequest when you get the next part out :]

Author Response

Sorry but I refuse to do things like putting flashbacks in italics...I think its just the same as putting actions in *'s lol I feel it greatly takes away from the writing, sure it can make things easier for the reader to see visually but that's not the point of writing :) 

Anyways, thats just my opinion lol and I know you mean well. Thanks for the second review and I am glad you liked this chapter too!

Hello! This is midnightxskies from the review forum!

I really like that you wrote this from Filch's perspective. I think it was clever since it was because of him that the map got passed from the marauders to Fred and George. I think the part with Fred and George could have been elaborated on a little more. I also think you characterized Filch very well, and I could believe that he would actually say everything that you wrote.

The only thing I have to comment on is that Filch is a squib, which means he can't perform magic. This means he probably wouldn't be trying out spells on the map.

Otherwise, well done :]!

Author Response

Yes I know Filch is a squib but he is also trying to teach himself magic from the 'Kwikspell correspondence course'. We know its a scam but at the time he probably didn't so he would think his 'spells' were fine but didn't wok on the map hehe

anyways I am glad I got his perspective right, took a bit of work to do that lol thanks for the review! glad you liked it :D

This is funny, I like it. =]

Author Response

yay! good to hear!

::snaps:: Fabulous! Great, charming little fic! I really enjoyed it!

Author Response

yay! glad to here it :D

All the characters were characterised really well, and I loved the humour in it. I loved the way you described the actions of the characters and the adjectives you used.

Author Response

good good good and good, I am so glad you think everything is alright :D makes me happy!

I'd always wondered how the twins knew how to work the map. Their comments on the map were very much in character, and made me laugh. I loved the characterisation of Filch.

Author Response

lol yay for in character and making you laugh :D good to hear!

haha this is great 

I loved the first chapter too 

thanks for doing the challenge

Author Response

good to hear :) I'm glad you liked both of them!

this is great!!! *quickly favorites story*

Author Response

aww yay! hehe glad you liked it!! :D

I liked it. It had a little bit of substance (although it was mostly just fluff-ish in nature), which made for a nice, well-rounded piece. The way that Filch uses the words which are part of the password makes it interesting, because it adds a bit of suspense, as if he is going to find out about the map.

A few grammar errors-mostly run-on sentences. Although, on second thought, I've been told that my sentences can be so short that they become almost sickly to read, but I suppose that's just because I like relative conciseness and dramatic effect.

Overall Grade: E+

Author Response

yeah I wasn't looking for some great depth hehe just a fun moment :) and I figured that after hearing them say it for so many years, he must know the what...just not the why :D

you like short sentences and I like long...now we can never be friends...hahahah just kidding of course! you know I love your reviews! thanks again :D

Very cute little "missing moment" fic. It's very reasonable, and a very nice cute and fluffy plot. Just the right length  too, but I felt you could have added some detail. Still, very lovely.

Author Response

hehe glad you liked it :)

That was really good! An original take on the Marauders' Map and the messages were really realistic. I like how Filch says, "Always swearing they were up to no good," He knows how to use it but he doesn't know he knows! That's great! Don't forget, when dialogue starts in the middle of a sentence, you still need to capitalize it! 10/10!

~Hermionesclass

Author Response

yay I'm happy you liked it! And even happier that the plot was original and the messages were realistic hehe I always wondered why Filch kept what would have looked like a blank piece of parchment all those years and it makes sense that even though he has heard it for years, he still doesn't get it lol thanks for the review!

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