This was very deep and depressing. I guess you wanted it that way huh. This reminded me of when my grandpa died, I was so mad because he left me, and I think Ron and I connected in that area. This was beautifully written and the flow was prefect; not too fast and not too slow. It made me tear up I'll tell you that.
Hope I helped.10/10
Author's Response: I wanted it to fit the challenge so yeah hehe glad you like it and I always enjoy when people can connect to stories on a personal level. I think it makes them more powerful you know?
Sorry i took so long to get to this, I'v been really busy but im here now yay ^_^.
Wow this was so sad. Ron was so perfectly portryed. Ireally feel like this is how he would have reacted :(. I see hat everyone is alive. Is there any particular reason for that?
The way Hermione died was very creative. Imagine surviving years of fihting Voldie and escaping to be zapped by lightening lol.
I felt like Ron could have been a bit more sad and maybe even cried a little. It would have been even more sad if the children were there crying for their mommy.
I have nothing to complain about though =]. Yet another piece of good writing (ps. im glad it wasnt romance lol)
Author's Response: No particular reason, just AU...and I don't know why either just happened that way lol
The creative death can be blamed on the anti-heroic death challenge hehe and yeah Ron could have cried (which I feel he did when she first died) but now he has moved to the point of being angry about it all. As for the kids, this is pre-next gen (Post Hogwarts) so they haven't been born yet *tear* hehe
glad you liked it and thanks for the great review :)
First of all, I would just like to say that the way Hermione died was very creative, and I liked that a lot. It wasn't, as Ron said, because of a Death Eater, or some kind of cause along that lines. I liked that you made it... well, harder to believe. It was really creative.
There are some things that could be changed to make the flow of the story better. Try reading through it, or read it aloud to yourself and see which things you could work differently to make it sound better.
"After a few choice words on my part of course but, to my credit, they had been justified." I was a little confused with that sentence. I understood what you were trying to say, but the wordiness of it is a little off. Again, try reading it through.
I really loved your last sentence. It was short and sweet. It really pulled everything together, I think. It was very powerful, and you should give yourself a pat on the back. No, you should totally give yourself a hug!
Anyways, I liked this a lot! Just make sure that you check over the flow and check for any grammatical errors. Overall, it was really good! Keep it up!
Author's Response: The story was written for the "anti-heroic death" challenge so I had to think of something as mundane as possible but still interesting so glad to here it worked hehe
Thanks also for your CC, I will look into as soon as I get a chance!
*hugs self* lol I randomly had that pop into my head while thinking about what to do for this story and was like omg brilliant! xD
This is so canon of Ron I almost felt sad. I mean, I was slightly upset but the way you went about it wasn't sad as it was regretful for the things that was said and done. This makes me even want Ron not to be with Hermione because of his mature yet childish attitude. Also the information about lightning and what it does to people.
Author's Response: glad you felt those emotions, thats what the piece was for hehe and I understand feeling like Ron doesn't deserve her, in some ways neither deserves the other but thats life, bad things tend to happen out of nowhere :/ but glad you liked it and thanks!