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I loved this story so much, mostly because I've never read something quite like it before. It was really neat to get to see into the head of Alice, because it's something that I've never put too much thought into before. I really liked how you went about portraying her thoughts, and the story as a whole!

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Oh, wow. I could barely get through this story.
But that's a good thing. (: The pain and confusion was so profound, and it came across in an amazing way. I felt bad for Alice, but I was also interested in what she would be thinking next. So, very good job.
10/10

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Wonderful work of genius... It's powerful and captivating, intense and insane, absolutely demented! You've just... It's ingenious and I love it. Props!

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Oh my god.
There are no words to describe the way I feel after reading this. It's unbelieveble.

<i>Laugh at the joke, laugh at the joke.</i>

As cliche as it sounds the second i read that, I bursted into tears.

10/10

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Holydrow, this is amazing! Truly truly a mastepiece...

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wow.

ur amazing.



...


wow.

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Wow. one of the most random and yet touching at the same time, stories I've ever read.
Keep it up.
=]

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that was a great story

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wow. i like. 'tis good

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Wow. This is amazing. It's so easy to imagine and put yourself in her place. I like (well, not *like* but think that this was a good way to write it) how there's a sort of feeling of panic at the beginning that gets sort of calm, then gets more frantic, and then it ends with a sort of calm and she's back to the state of mind she was in at the beginning. This is definitely how I'd imagine it would be for someone trapped in their own mind. Heart breaking and so well written.

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This was beautiful. The insight you have given us - and Alice is remarkably written. It shows how even when you are gone, you are not? Does that make sense? I have a feeling you willl get it, just as I get your beautifully written work.

It takes skill to be able to write in fragments - no really, it does! You portrayed Alice very nicely...I would love to see what she thinks about when Neville is in the room...makes me think. really good. I'm ranting now, but so beautiful!

10/10

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I think that's one of the saddest fics I've ever read -if I got it right-Very good story, I'll be reading more from you asap. Thanks for this thought provoking fic.xx

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OW.. ok, that hurt my head a bit...lol

I absolutly loved it! This little voyage into madness wraps it's self around you're brain and before long it's easy to follow Alice down the paths of insanity. 

There is nothing to critisize here, nothing that could make this better. 

Wonderful job!
~Moon~

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Oddly refreshing. That's how i would describe this story. It was odd because i have NEVER read a story like that and refreshing because it's unique lol This is actually pretty good considering how confusing it is ... but it's Alice Longbottom so she has to be confusing. But all in all pretty good story but you might wanna break the chapter into different smaller paragraphs it will make the story more presentable and will also make it easy for the readers. 8/10

~Amie

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That was... special. I don't really know how else to describe it, it's the strangest story I've ever read. Alice's way of thinking is interesting; I can almost hear her voice speaking her thoughts very quickly, frantically. It's an odd one-shot, but I like it.

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Wow. This fic is so confusing, but in a really good way. This was really a fantastic story. Good job, it really left a lasting impression on my brain.

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This is amazing. Just how did you manage to write such a story with such insight into a mind of insanity?

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I really enjoyed this. It is definitely something that I have never seen on this archive. A psychological story that gets inside of...someone like Alice Longbottom. It really was sad, thinking of how terrible her and Frank's situation was. 
I liked the way you had the structure set up. The short sentences were choppy, and that was something this story really needed. So, fantastic. The entirety of this was fabulous. I don't know what else I can say.

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I really don't get it

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that was really good.  as in really, really good.  as in amazingly really good.  i loved the ending- "Laugh at the joke" except it wasn't really funny.  it was terrifying and sad- and because it was it was so incredibly well-written.  1000/10.
~windy

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This fis isn't good. It is amazing! It so different from anything else on this side. 
I had this really weird feeling in my stomach, like hundreds of butterflies fluttering around, wanting to come out. 
It felt so perfect, so beautiful and so scaring. I felt like I was going insane. The pictures of little Alice was crystal clear in my mind. 
It was simply amazing. 

I want to say much more, but I don't know what. 
Thank you for this fic.

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Omg, this is soo good. She can't remember but can't forget.

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Aww, thanks!

I really enjoyed that.  It was a lot of nonsense, obviously because Alice is insane, but it seemed to have a point.  It was meaningful nonsense.  (;  You did a really great job delving into her mind, and I really like the full circle you've taken us on with this fic.  You repeat the same ideas over and over, and although she is skipping around as far as age, her mind seems to be stuck in the same place.  The 'blank,' as you put it.  Brilliant.

The only thing that struck me as odd was this bit: "<i>Or rather, before five, but in this situation â€“ no, I hate that word. In this case â€“ yes, a much better word. In this case, four comes after five!</i>"  The rest of this fic seems thoughtless on Alice's part.  She's just flowing along smoothly, saying whatever comes to mind, and then this bit seems as though she stops for a second and thinks.  I liked when she said four came 'after' five, because it really reflects her insanity.  But when she stops to analyze it, well...  It doesn't jive with the rest of the piece.  I think it could be changed to fit nicely, otherwise I'd just omit it.  But that is, of course, entirely up to you.

9/10 for you, and this is going on the favorites!  Congrats on a job well done.

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Thanks so muchly!

Hm...honestly this is one of the strangest stories I believe I have ever read, but it was also one of the best. It was so odd it kept me on the edge of my seat, wondering where you were taking it. I've never read anything about Alice before and you did it wonderfully! *claps*

I'm a member on an HP fansite called Final Prophecy and we have our own version of the Daily Propet that comes out once a month. I'm a fic niffler for our fanfiction section; this means I find fics that are really good and write up a little piece about them so our readers will have some good stories to read. I was wondering if I could feature your story in our next issue? No personal info will be listed, just your penname and the story name and specifices (genre, etc.) So please email me at nutmeg1019@hotmail.com and let me know if I could feature your story. If not it's perfectly ok and feel free to ask if you have any questions!

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Oh, that would be so nice of you! Go ahead!

That was just... incredible. Seriously, that's an amazing piece of writing. You're very talented to be able to write something as believable and just sad as what this story is. Love it, made me love Alice, and I'm favouriting this.

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Aww, thanks!

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