Hey good starting. You really need to proof-read you story. Espially your summery. The summery kind of put me off your story because you had no pull stops, no capital letters and you said and 3 times. Apart from that keep up your good work.
Author's Response: THANX ALOt 4 THE crticism-it really helped and thanx 4 reading though the summary was not good,dull.depressing,BORING!!!!
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