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Is good to see how Draco is affected by a magical life debt... RFLOL... 

After this, I stopped reading... 

The plot is totally incoherent from the beginning to the end...

Author Response

HAHAHAHA... 

After reading this chapter the only logical conclusion:

Draco could have free Hermione any time he wanted, but he didn't because she was trying to brainwash her. 

Draco was giving Hermione a love potion in the food, and a confusing potion to Snape.

This is the ONLY LOGICAL explanation for what happened. 

And it seems Ron and Harry took some vacation, because don't seems they were too worried for Hermione...

Author Response

Half chapter wasted telling us Draco is so good...

Sorry, but it's unbelievable. Draco is a coward racist murderer. He almost murder Ron and Katie, and now Hermione wants him? A bit nauseating, honestly. 

Draco is totally OOC, and Hermione is a weak and immature character.

And again, totally incoherent. 

Hermione seems to be totally happy in the dungeon. She has forgot Ron, Harry, etc... ?

Draco is going to get Hermione wand? Why don't give her his own wand? Or simply free her?... 

"You must torture the Mudblood," commanded Snape... What happens, Snape don't have a wand? He can't do it himself? 

This Snape is totally ridiculous. He orders a lot of things... and then he goes to sleep? Because it made no sense he don't do it himself, nor even make sure Draco do as ordered.

"Snape couldn’t get into the room, it was the one room that he couldn’t Apparate into."
Why? Again, a total nonsense.

And then Hermione lusting after the ferret? Ridiculous. 

The plot have no sense at all.

Author Response

"A voice said in warning. It sounded vaguely familiar, and strangely inviting."
Inviting? A bit ridiculous. Honestly. 

"Because it’s poisoned." 
Food poisoned? Hermione is his prisoner. If Shape wants her dead, he only had to kill her. If he wants poison her, he only have to force her to drink the venom... This is a nonsense.

And then "Good Draco" gives her non poisoned food? Again total nonsense. If Snape give her poison, and she don't die, the only answer is Draco. Snape would realize and kill Draco for betraying him in no time.

More nonsense. 
1. "His brilliant plan" is ridiculous. If he wants suffering there is a thing named CRUCIATUS. A curse created exactly for this.
2. If Draco has a life debt, he couldn't betray Snape as he is doing.
3. Hermione isn't dying and Snape don't realize what is happening?... Again, it made no sense. 

The fic plot is too faulty, too crude, too incoherent, too fast...

Author Response

Mmm... why Shape kidnap her, and not kill her?

Author Response

Great Story, although it was quite unexpected at times it was written very well. ;)

Author Response

Thank you . . . It\\\'s good to hear a compliment about this story - it was one of my first and I\\\'ve always thought it was terrible.

Well, I liked it. I like Polychromatic better though.

Author Response

Yeah, this was one of my earliest fics . . . I'm almost embarassed by it. The original version was so, so much worse. But I decided to keep it up; it sets a good example for new writers, so that they can see someone else's improvement, and know that people don't write so well from the start.

i cant belive ron ended up with hermione. ugggh.

Author Response

im sorry?

Great start! I love it!
Haha, I love the part when you call the graveyard meeting "an unofficial date". :)
Oh, I love wise Ron! "Grief, ii's a part of you now". Wonderful sentence, I love it!
Great job, please keep up the good work!

:)

Author Response

thank you very much, i really appreciate your compliments and your review.

How on earth did Hermione get rid of Snapes legs very interesting though cant wait to find out what happens next

Author Response

Read on... :]

why did Snape kidnap Hermione? and i hope they get Hermione back before she changes to much. interesting read cant wait to see what happens next

Author Response

By your other review I can see that you've read on, so you know that he kidnapped her for revenge. Hermione does change a bit, but, you'll just have to read on to see how much.

ok this story is pretty lame.  ive stopped reading.  the whole d/hr friendship happened 2 fast and hermione seems 2 comfortable in this dungeon thing. actually, this fic is quite humorous, tho i dont believe it wuz intended to be so.  better luck next time.  this one jus didnt cut it.

Author Response

Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Thanks for actually letting me know what you thought was wrong rather than flaming my story.

ok this story is pretty lame.  ive stopped reading.  the whole d/hr friendship happened 2 fast and hermione seems 2 comfortable in this dungeon thing. actually, this fic is quite humorous, tho i dont believe it wuz intended to be so.  better luck next time.  this one jus didnt cut it.

Author Response

Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Thanks for actually letting me know what you thought was wrong rather than flaming my story.

I cannnot beleive she isn't with draco! Your story sux!

Author Response

Well I'm sorry you think that, but just because she isn't with Draco doesn't mean my story sucks. You can think it, but it would be better if you didn't say it, because that is extremely rude.

awwww. i absolutly Love this Chap. it was a great way to end it. great story. i like it!

Author Response

Thank you so much! I'm glad you loved it!

-scowls- Severus isnt evil. >=(
~Snob

Author Response

Don't take me the wrong way. I'm strong in believing that he isn't evil! He's good. I suppose this story is hipocritical, but I needed a bad guy for the story and since Malfoy was good, I was running out of people. I didn't mean to offend anyone who believes Snape is good.

what happened to draco none of him was mentioned in this

Author Response

He was at the wedding, and the first paragraph was him. I sort of didn't want him in too much, because I wanted to convey that Hermione chose Ron. But he did see Hermione sometimes, it wasn't mentioned in the story, but I say he did. =)

mould is spelt M-O-U-L-D soory i'm a spelling freak lol

Author Response

Thanks for pointing that out! I can't spell for my life. I leave that up to my spell check. ;)

Hi. It is so sad that Harry dead...  Why???

Author Response

It is sad. You have no idea how hard it was for me to write him off. But I figured that I needed to overcome my horrible inability to kill off people I've become attached to. Unfortunetly, it had to be Harry.

ewwww!!!!!!!!!!! god anger managment problem.

Author Response

Ew, about the legs? Yeah. Gruesome. Anger management problem, Snape. He definetly does. I feel sorry for Malfoy in this fic, poor him.

This is good! I'll be sure to read on..:) 

ginny has harry wrapped around her finger ha ha ;)

Author Response

Thanks. Yes, she does, but we all know how fiery and strong Ginny is. I figured it was in character. =)

I LOVED THAT STORY! u totally rock soooo much! it was totally worth reading to the end!

Author Response

Thank you soooo much! You have no idea how good the review makes me feel! Thank you so much, and i'm glad you loved it!

Excellent, thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and the previous ones

Author Response

Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it!

i really like it!

Author Response

Thanks!

awwww! i am soooo happy! poor draco though.

Author Response

Yeah, I certainly feel bad for him. But, it just wasn't meant to be.

Reviews (49 found)

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