Search Home Read Write Contact Login Register
The story is okay, but everything just seemed so rushed and fast-pasted...perhaps try to slow it down a bit? Also, maybe try to proofread, because I noticed a few typos. Just a tidbit you'll want to know: Dumbledore calls Harry 'Harry' - not 'Mr. Potter'. I also noticed that Harry and Madame Pomfrey both seemed somewhat out of character with fighting and calling names and things like that. And one last thing: If Sirius was so worried about somebody hearing that he was there, how come he wasn't worried about somebody seeing that he was there? Anyways, it's nice to see somebody writing about Harry's 5th year. Don't see it too much now that HPB is coming out!

Take Care,
-AmberEloquence

Author's Response: Okay thank you. And, yeah, I started writing this a few years ago before the 5th one came out, yet I STILL haven't finished it x__x *sigh*. And I'll be sure to put it on Microsoft Word and use the spell check XD. Thank you for the review and for reading my story. ^^ Yes, I know it sucks.

JOIN HARRY POTTER FANFICTION


Get access to every new feature the moment it comes out.

Register Today!