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This story is absolutely beautiful. Heart-breaking. Truthful, accurate, and original enough to be entertaining. Every single word has a purpose. And that's what great writing should be.

Author Response

I didn't really realize what was happening until I reached Sirius' part. It is really beautifully done. I think Sirius' is my favorite because its the most...graphic, but the ending is just as enjoyable. The whole is great. I'm just saying those last two are my favorite. 

I've never used this website before so I don't know if I'm supposed to write more or if there is a format. There is probably some type of edict. Sorry if I'm messing it all up.

Author Response

Hi!

Wow, the first (or should I say fourth?) section was amazing! I rarely ever see Lily and Peter interact with one another because poor old Peter often gets forgotten in the grand scheme of things, but you really showed a new side to him here. I really liked how he questioned why the others were friends with him as it was a sign of them already slipping away from one another which was really cool. The second thing I liked about it was the mention of Voldemort and how once you’re in, you’re in as that was some great foreshadowing right there!

Sirius’s section was so amazing! I think the star theme worked so well because the idea of them being mysterious and always above us in the scale of understanding worked so well here with Sirius. You have some wonderful description with the stars and it just kept me immersed throughout. This line – ‘The scars on our hearts map our faults.’ Woah, that was fab! &hearts;

Remus and Lily’s section was so lovely as it had this beautiful sense of calm throughout and that Lily finally felt at peace with everything. I really liked how it was he who she went to for advice and how he was the rock for her. Here, I really felt as if I could see the real Lily and begin to understand her and it was great to see the layers of her peel back.

James’s section is what gave me the most feels because though I pretty much knew all what was in it, it was written in such a powerful way, I was tingling throughout reading it. This line ‘And she waits beside his cradle, waits for the world to stop spinning.’ Wah, it fitted so well with the title and just the entire story and their lives and it was amazing.

This was so, so, so good and really made me think, excellent writing! &hearts;

-Kiana 
House Cup 2014 Review!

Author Response

The 4 sections are each beautifully written, but they don't come together to form a whole:

4. Peter's fears
3. Sirius' fears
2. Lily's fears
1. Love, betrayal, and death

Why are these chapters together in the same story?

Author Response

Wow! I have NEVER read anything as delicious as that! I just ate it up!

Author Response

" ‘The world seems to be slowing, Harry,’ she whispers.

And she waits beside his cradle, waits for the world to stop spinning. "

Beautiful.  Heart-breaking and beautiful.  I really loved how you did Remus and Sirius, though all of them were good.

Author Response

... That actually made me cry... Wow, just wow.

Author Response

Aw, thank you for your review. I'm sorry it made you cry, but at least I know that means I did a good job conveying the emotions I wanted to! :)

Amazing! Really well written and constructed, your characters were believable and great. Thanks for writing such a well written story!!!

Author Response

Thanks so much for the review. :)

omg, this is beautiful. your a poet. im going to try and write something that comes close to an 1/8th of how great this is.

Author Response

Thank you so much. :)

Another amazing piece of writing from you!

Author Response

Thank you so much for taking the time to my review my story - it means a lot to me. :)

After reading this how can you not love Lily? I mean I never really disliked her, I loved her in Deathlly Hallows part 2. Everyone was sobbing over Sanpe, not me  for me it was.

"Sweetheart we never left," I mean oh my gosh!

Anyway, you bring so much goodness to the people you write and I just loved Lily, she was amazing and made me think that Lily desveres a lot more credit than she's given.

Really wonderful I can't believe you wrote this!

Author Response

I love Lily. She's such a loving, strong person and more people need to appreciate her as a character. I'm glad that this made you feel for her. :) Haha, thank you? This is probably my most popular fic and I loved it when I first wrote it but now I'm kind of over it. 

Thank you again for the reviews!

I feel like I've read this one before, but somehow it's escaped my reviewing, and we just can't let that happen.

This is wonderful, at least as good as its reversal that I just read and possibly better. I love Lily so much, and this piece easily brings out all of the wonderful traits she possesses: bravery, kindness, loyalty, and most of all, love. She truly brings out the best in each Marauder in this piece, and it's so sad to watch her world fall apart right in front of her innocent  green eyes. You really executed both this one and the last one so, so well, and your talent is truly remarkable.

Great work! :)

academica (Slytherin)

Author Response

Well if you have read it before, I'm glad you're reviewing it now, even if it is for the competition.

I love writing Lily and I wish I could write her more. There's just something so complex about her that makes writing her a lot of fun. 

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really enjoyed writing both this and Unveiled Secrets but it's completely BLOWN MY MIND at how popular this fic has become. The number of reviews is just mind-boggling for a one-shot. And you just added to it. :P

Beautiful, again. The characterization was so wonderful.

Peeking into Peter's mind was fascinating! He's always trying to prove himself to the others, and isn't comfortable with himself. I could see just a glimpse at how, one day, he might be tempted. I thought this was incredibly true: "...they all hide behind smoke screens, appearing to glitter in shattered light. However, when she has them alone, they aren't glorious, graceful men but stumbling, awkward boys." It's maybe the truest things I've ever read about the Marauders. 

Sirius: "...he is a shooting star. But he falls too far and too fast for them to catch him." Sirius seems to be the most volatile, the easiest to burn, but the brightest too. I thought the shooting star metaphor was an elegant way to describe him. I also like how you brought up the ordinary people in the war - those who never achieve fame or glory, but are important nonetheless. And Lily's right... Sirius' name will be remembered for a long time.

Remus... I adored him. I love seeing the relationship between Lily and Remus, and also found it sort of funny that Remus knows Lily than her own fiance did. But it made sense: they were closer to best friends than she and James ever were. It's nice to be able to have a shoulder to cry on sometimes. Their relationship seemed special and it was honestly a treat to read about.

I loved how James' part was called "You are my reason for breathing". It was perfect for James and Lily. "...she thinks of Sirius with his tales of saints and martyrs and wonders if the world stops spinning when saints die." This line is so, so beautiful. I don't even know what to say about it other than that, honestly. It's perfect. (also, yay for referencing the other fic!)

I'm glad that Lily also realized who Peter was in the end. It wouldn't seem fair, to have her die without knowledge. "And she waits beside his cradle, waits for the world to stop spinning. " Again, beautiful. It's also heartbreaking, because the world doesn't stop spinning, even though we think it should. Somehow, life continues on.

Absolutely beautiful. Completely gorgeous. I'm totally in awe of your writing skills! This was moving and written masterfully. I loved seeing a last glimpse of the Marauders and Lily. I'm so glad I managed to run across this, because it's definitely going to turn out to be one of those one-shots I can never get out of my mind.

Incredible writing.
-Snapdragons (Claw)

Author Response

I wish I could respond with something as equally epic as this, but I'm flabbergasted. This is seriously one of the nicest reviews ever, and thank you so much for saving it for me! ^_^

I love love love it when readers pull out their favorite quotes (I'm guilty of doing this as well which is probably why I like it so much). It makes me feel really good as an author that I wrote something that makes people pause and say, "Wow! I really loved this line." Such a huge ego booster. ;) 

Thanks again and go Claws!

So sad,
I love them all, especially Remus and Sirius,
but for some reason Peter's was the most interesting,
very good,
well done(:
I loved it.

Author Response

Thank you so much for the review. :)

Amazing.great stuff keep it up!

Author Response

Thank you for reviewing! =)

omg !
it was so good it had me in tears
=)

Author Response

I think this story made a lot of people cry. I'm glad my stories have that affect on people.

Thank you for the review.

This was stunning. There are no other words to describe it. 

You're incredibly talented.

Author Response

Wow, thank you so much for the wonderful compliments. I'm so happy!

Exquisite! It's really just incredible how you brought so much power and depth into this story.

Author Response

Ahh, thank you! This is one of my favorites and I'm glad so many other people think so too. You're fabulous. :)

OH WOW
that was amazing
that made me cry
wow 
there are only a frw that do that was realyl well written 
nice work LD you did justice to everything about the marauders you did justice to lily you did justice to describing them it was just perfect

Author Response

I'd apologize for making you cry, but that was kind of the point. ;) 

I'm so pleased you enjoyed this and thought everyone was well-written. Thank you for reviewing!

*sniff* that was fantastic! I loved it.. I'm all tears now...
xxx

Author Response

Aw, don't cry! Though it is sad, that's for sure. :( Thanks for reading and reviewing!

that was really moving. I like how most of it moved in order and though there was big time jumps. They just fit. It was intersting how you showed each of the marauders in a different light and tying it all together at the end..

Author Response

Thank you so much! I really wanted to show each Marauder from Lily's POV and she obviously sees each boy differently.

i really love this story. i've read it before, a few times actually. it sits in my favourites for when i get into a mood. i just can't read happy fluffy fics when i read somethign sad and depressing. this is something i can turn to to not transfer me from sad to happy but to make me cry yet still feel ok.

i probably sound like a lunatic.

it's just... you write them as imperfect and special and lily as something binding and whole that comforts as well as seeking comfort. its the world and the people in it explained in four different people. the broken the beaten the bruised. all of those who help yet find it hard to seek help. the destructive and the mending, the hurt and the whole. people who remain faceless and in shadows when compared to those that seem naturally attractive to us. the mothers, the fathers, the broken childeren. all of it.

i cry at the start at how sad it all is, i keep crying. i cry at the end because of the injustice and lies. yet i'm not depressed because i know that the truth helps. that the people so broken found what they needed - even if it was evil and cruel - because its how it is supposed to be.

i don't hate peter in this because the choice to kill his friends made him. he may have found regret, remorse and pain in losing them, but he found himself in the fact that he could show the loyalty that lily spoke of.

i probably should stop now, you have over a hundres reviews telling you how great it is so i don't need to say it.

what i will say is short (especially after the mess i've just written for you).

it moved me.

Author Response

an amazing story once again.  all your stories are. well done!!!
*grins*
school finished exactly 1 hour and 50 minutes ago... whoo! holiday time!
sorry... i'm a little excited. too many candy canes...

Author Response

Aw, thank you so much. My stories appreciate your compliments. :)

I do believe that this is by far the most powerful, emotive, beautiful, and touching piece of fanfiction I have read about the Marauders. It is wonderful to see the dynamics of the Marauders examined by someone who was close to them, but never quite on the inside, and I love that Lily held a special place in each of their hearts, how they each loved her in their different but equally powerful ways. I believe you have indeed brought new light and depth to the true beauty and tragedy of a special group lightly touched upon in canon.

Oh, I am simply awestruck!

Author Response

possibly the most beautifully written one shot on this site this one has been on my favourites for ages but i've never reviewed it so i thought it was about time i reviewed this amazing piece of writing =] 10/10 but if i could rather higher i would

Author Response

Wow! Thank you so much.

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