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Reviews (2 found)

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Chapter: Players Set | Story: Minutes Of A War

Hi again and happy 2012 to you as well!

That chapter was great; the closing of the Tonks/Lupin storyline was very well written. I like how you gave us a nice view of the process both characters went through before they finally got back together. It gave even more dept and emotion to that single moment. The talk with Arthur was excellent and his outburst about Charlie was just priceless! 

I have to say that Percy is growing on me as well in this story. You really captured the character and his struggles in a way that makes his involvement in the ending battle even more realistic. I can't wait to see how you intend to have him use his position in the ministry to act, it'll be interesting to watch!

I also absolutly loved the opening scene, of how Potterwatch came to life. It was so well written and I couldn't help but grin all through that scene; I was just so happy to see Lee get his moment in your story! 

A couple little things cought me attention, especially at the end of the chapter. 

I think you wanted to get some italics int he scene between Tonks and Remus, showing her thoughts but you did not take the rigth way. There's a italic button on top, right under the copy /paste button. Here are the spots that need changing :
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Author Response

I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond! I've read them all of course, and they mean a lot. I'm sure you know the feeling ;)

I am aware of the problem with the italics; I don't know what exactly went wrong, but I was glad it posted at all as the last part was cut off altogether for the first few tries. Hasn't happened before or after, and I'll keep my fingers crossed that it stays that way.

I'm really glad you like my characterisations, especially Percy's. Thank you so much for the amazing feedback *hugs*

Yay! I was so happy when I saw that you had updated! I loved this! the dialogue in the Potterwatch founding piece was fast-paced and funny - really enjoyed it!

I really liked the Percy bit too, just because I would never have thought of doing something from his point of view in a story like this - so far play to you for doing it!

I will admit that the Tonks bits were my favourite. I really liked the conversation she had with Arthur, and the bit at the end with Remus was really nice (and made me laugh once or twice), particularly the ending, which was just so nice really!

This is just such a great story, I am really looking forward to reading the chapters that are coming. You have to keep writing it - please don't stop

I just spotted a few typos and thought I would point them out:

Em... first, towards the end there were a lot of italics markers. I don't think you need to put up italic markers on hpff, I think you can just highlight the text in the editor and change it to italics... so you don't need the markers (which don't seem to be working in any case).

"Feeling bold, Nymphadora took his face between his [change to her] hands."

Also, towards the end of the story there are double spaces between paragraphs instead of one like the earlier part of the story.

Anyway, great great story - I love it so much! :)

Author Response

First off, thanks for pointing out the formating. I usually post chapters in the simple editor, where I need to add in the markers. I don't know what went wrong this time, but I'll have a look at it :)

Oh, and the reconciliation between Remus and Tonks has been coming for some time; I was quite nervous posting that part.

Thank you for the feedback, it means a lot!

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